


Freedom Fighters

by gingersnapper



Series: For Their Future Universe [2]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 94,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26989864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingersnapper/pseuds/gingersnapper
Summary: The youth are the future of the world and every chance for change is in their hands. The revolution will always be in the hands of the young and the young will always inherit the revolution.The sacrifices are over, and the fight has begun, but this time, Katniss is all by herself. The rebellion is led by a middle-aged woman who still never truly know the horrors of Snow and his actions, and it seems that she has some hidden agenda. Katniss herself is just a kid, with two children to fight for, but it’s always the young who inherit the revolution. Will Katniss and the remaining victors take initiative and stop themselves from becoming the puppet of yet another leader and their regime?*will update tags as I write*Part Two of ‘For Their Future’
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Series: For Their Future Universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963906
Comments: 40
Kudos: 22





	1. The Fall of District Twelve

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello and welcome back to this lovely AU within and AU! I have a lot planned for this story which was why it’s been split into two parts, and I’m hoping that this will be unlike anything you’ve ever seen in the Hunger Games fandom! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**THIRD PERSON POV: PRIM**

* * *

As soon as Katniss and Peeta were pulled off of the stage and into the Justice Building, she should have known that something was wrong. Maybe even long before that. There were less peacekeepers in the district than there should have been for a reaping, and when Katniss and Peeta were removed from the stage and out of sight, the remaining peacekeepers that were corralling the people of Twelve in the town square began to disappear. A very small number stayed behind to keep the people in the square, and then suddenly, the screen came on, and President Snow’s smug face appeared on the screen.

“Good afternoon, people of District Twelve,” he said to the people. The sixteen-year-old Primrose, who held her niece, Lark Mellark, on her hip, glanced up first at her mother, and then at Mellie Mellark, her sister’s mother-in-law, who held her other niece, Maevis. “I am not happy with the behaviour of your much beloved victors. They claim a love so deep for their home and their people that I have ultimately decided to use you all as an example of what happens when you prove to be ungrateful for all that the Capitol has done for you, has sacrificed for you, and has given you. The stink of rebellion has tainted your minds, and now, I have been left with no choice but to do some... pest control.” He smiled rather smugly, and Prim held Lark close against her.

“Mister Snow,” said young Lark, her eyes full of naivety and youth. Lark was conditioned since birth to believe that President Snow was the good guy, having practically been brought up in the spotlight of the Capitol, but she would soon find out that everything she knew was nothing more than a deception.

“You can run and hide all you like, but know that we will find you. And remember... the actions of the hand of the Capitol were caused by the rebellious acts of Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen Mellark. I should have punished their actions long ago. Good luck, enjoy the show, and may the odds be  _ ever _ in your favour.” Enjoy the show? Whatever could he mean? Peeta and Katniss did nothing wrong at all, they did everything Snow had asked for! There was a hum of silence as the people of Twelve tried to process what had happened, and then the remaining peacekeepers made their way out of the square and towards the train station. Were they... were they leaving the people of Twelve alone? To fend for themselves? They couldn’t do that... No one in Twelve had the knowledge of farming or sustaining or living off the land. Twelve had no farms and no livestock, no fields that could be sowed for produce. They were going to leave the people of Twelve to starve.

Actually, leaving the people to starve would have been an act of mercy compared to what actually happened. While the people still stood in the square wondering what on Earth Snow’s message meant, the peacekeepers were clearing out, and the bombers were approaching. Ten minutes after the last peacekeepers left, when the people were chatting amongst themselves trying to figure out what was going to happen, they heard the sound of the approaching engines, and the first bombs began to fall.

It was utter chaos. The people, trapped in the square, ran screaming, and the Everdeen and Mellark families were scattered in the crowd. Prim had no knowledge of what had happened to any of them, only that she had Lark and she had to get Lark to safety. Prim ran towards the woods and the fence in hopes that she could at least rescue Lark, but truth to be told, she wasn’t even sure she could do that. If a bomb landed near her, the pair of them were done for.

“Through here! Over here!” came the voice of Thom Derry, a miner who was a little bit older than Gale Hawthorne. He was standing by a hole in the previously electrified fence, which was now down. Prim, holding Lark tightly against her chest, ran towards the man standing by the fence. “Miss Everdeen! Thank God you’re still alive! Go on, through the hole! Follow the path down until you get to the lake. Don’t stop!”

“Thank you!” Prim shouted back to him, climbing through the fence and making her way into the woods. “It’s okay, Lark, it’s okay...” Lark wasn't crying, but she was very scared and confused, and wasn’t very fond of the loud noises. It took quite a while, but Prim continued on to the lake, passing all sorts of people who were doing the same thing. How could President Snow do this to so many people? The people of Twelve did nothing to him - Katniss and Peeta did nothing to him, and yet, he was blaming them for the entire nation hating him for his cruelty and his abuse of power. Rebellion was inevitable, but Snow would never admit to his own failure, would he?

As the day went on and the hours crawled by, the bombing in the distance failed to cease, and more refugees joined Prim and Lark and whoever else was there by the lake. There was no sign of her mother or any of the Mellarks, who had Maevis, so as far as she knew, she and Lark were the only survivors from their family. It made her feel horrible that she couldn’t get Maevis out. She was in Mrs. Mellark’s arms and Prim’s first thoughts were to get Lark out while she could. At least she could save one of her nieces... but she knew that Katniss or Peeta or both, if they survived the arena again, would be devastated to know that one of their daughters couldn’t be saved. Prim felt tears fall down her cheeks as she held Lark on her lap, and Lark looked up at her aunt.

“Why are you sad, Auntie Prim?” Lark asked her aunt in her sweet toddler voice - Lark was, by this point, almost three and a half years old.

“Because I’m scared, Lark,” Prim answered her niece. “I don’t know where Maevis is... or Grammy, or Grandma and Grandpa... or Uncle Rye, or Uncle Chris, or Aunt Aary, or Cousin Barley... and I don’t know what to do...”

“Where's Mama and Daddy?” Lark asked her aunt.

“Trying so hard to come back to you,” Prim told her. “It’s going to be okay, Lark. Auntie Prim promises.” A large group of people suddenly stumbled through the brush, and most of them were Seam faces, but some blonde heads were among the brunette. Delly Cartwright was among them along with her newborn son, but her husband wasn’t with her, and neither was their daughter. Tugging on Delly’s arm was another blonde woman, more middle-aged, and she was carrying a child with dark chocolate brown hair. Was it her mother? Prim’s eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to see who exactly it was, and then she stood and balanced Lark on her hip, taking cautious steps towards this woman. “Mom?” she asked the woman, who turned. A pair of grey eyes - not blue - met Prim’s blue eyes. The woman’s strawberry blonde hair had been concealed by dirt from the explosions.

“Primrose,” Mellie Mellark said, cradling a terrified Maevis in her arms. “And Lark! My goodness, you’re both... you’re both alive...”

“Where’s my mother? And the rest of your family?” Prim asked her sister’s mother-in-law, and Mellie’s face fell.

“I... I don’t know... Rye, he... he went off in one direction, and... Chris, he sent Aaricia and Barley in another... H-he and Caseo, they... they didn’t make it...” Prim’s face now fell, knowing that the kind Mr. Mellark and his oldest son were confirmed dead was devastating, but she still didn’t have an answer about her own mother.

“What... what about my mother?” Mellie didn’t answer right away, but her eyes already gave away the answer.

“I’m so sorry, Primrose... She froze where she stood, and I... I had to get Maevis out of there. I tried to call to her, to get her to move or something, but... she wouldn’t budge. My main priority was to get Maevis to safety...” Prim’s hopeful expression fell as the realisation dawned on her that her mother had shut down yet again, had failed her as she had once failed Katniss, and as a result, she was likely dead, and Prim, at sixteen years old, and Mellie Mellark were all that Lark and Maevis had left, if Katniss and Peeta didn’t make it back.

“Well,” Prim replied, swallowing her tears. She didn’t have the time to mourn her mother’s actions, even though she loved her dearly, and Mellie had been right to put Maevis first. “I guess it’s just us now...”

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

I didn’t want to be in Thirteen. I badly wanted to trade places with Peeta and be where he was, to be tortured while he was safe here, where our daughters were safe. After two days, I was released from quarantine, but I was still trapped in the hospital, and all I wanted to do was see my daughters. “We need you to focus on getting better for a couple of days before you’re allowed to have visitors,” said one of the attending doctors.

“I’m perfectly fine. I want to see my children,” I said bitterly. “Or my sister. Anyone!”

“You’re allowed  _ one _ visitor, I suppose, but it has to be someone who is eighteen or older. Is your sister eighteen or older?” the doctor asked me, and I huffed.

“No. She’s sixteen,” I replied, not meeting her eyes. “Wait... What about Cailean Fòlais? He’s nineteen.”

“He is. Is he next of kin?” the doctor asked me, and I paused for a moment.

“Yeah... He’s my brother...” I replied.

“I’ll arrange it, Miss Everdeen,” said the doctor, and she left the room. Miss Everdeen? My legal name hadn’t been Everdeen in nearly four years, so why the hell were they calling me that? A nurse came in shortly afterwards to check my vitals.

“Excuse me, what’s my name listed as on my chart?” I asked her.

“Katniss Everdeen,” said the nurse with a smile.

“That’s wrong, I’ve been legally married for four years. My name is Katniss  _ Mellark _ , and I’m tired of that being stripped from me,” I said to her.

“Oh... Well, according to our records, you’re not married...” said the nurse, checking the chart again.

“And who the hell told you that?” I spat back.

“Miss Everdeen, I can assure you-”

“ _ Mrs. Mellark. _ I am  _ married _ for bloody’s sake! Why is that being doubted?” The nurse looked at me with wide eyes.

“I’ll... fix your chart...” she muttered to herself, scribbling something on the chart. She didn’t say another word to me and then was on her way, leaving me alone by myself in the room. As I laid on the bed, I thought about my daughters and my husband. I missed them all so much, but at least I knew my girls were safe. Peeta, on the other hand, I had no knowledge of, and I was worried sick. I longed to feel his arms around me and his lips on mine, and I wanted so badly to crawl into our bed at home and make love to him until the sun came up, but who knew if I’d ever be able to do any of those things again? I was furious with Haymitch, who should have saved him, but with all the time I was left alone, I came to the realisation that he was right - if Peeta had run off and he didn’t have a tracker in him, and the Capitol found out about their plans, then they wouldn’t have had the time to find him. It still hurt horribly to think that all this time, Haymitch, Beetee, Finnick and Johanna had this plan that Peeta and I knew nothing about.

A knock at the door startled me and I glanced up as it opened, and the same heterochromatic eyes that belonged to my brother, Cailean, met me, along with his charming Fòlais smile. “You called?” he asked me in Gàidhlig, the native language that we had both been born speaking. “How’re you feeling?”

“Antsy. I want to get the hell out of this room. It’s too much white,” I replied, also in Gàidhlig. “So... Care to tell me why I’m talking to a ghost?”

“If I was a ghost, I’d still be a child,” Cailean replied cheekily, plopping down in the seat beside me. It was strange to see him all grown up, considering the last time I saw him, he was seven years old, but at the same time, it warmed my heart knowing that he and Calum got the chance to grow up, but my heart broke all over again when I remembered that Dòmh, Ashilda, Alasdair and Anndra didn’t have that chance. Dòmh was eight years old when he died, Ashilda was four, and Alasdair and Anndra were hardly a few months old. “I take it you want to know about the attack on the ship? The one that separated us?”

“Is anyone else alive?” I asked him, a hopeful tone to my voice, but I knew the answer even before he sighed and shook his head.

“Just me and Calum,” he replied. “Dad survived, too, but he died during the pox outbreak a few years ago. He developed the vaccine against it, but it was too late to save him.” He paused for a moment. “District Thirteen rescued those of us that the Capitol thought were dead. They sent out a hovercraft to rescue you and a lot of other people, but more of us got left behind.”

“They said there were only twenty survivors from that wreck... out of five hundred.”

“There were a little over two hundred of us that came to Thirteen. Guess the Capitol didn’t have the space for hundreds of refugees so they just picked up the first twenty they could find and left the rest of us behind... If it weren’t for Thirteen, we’d all probably be dead.”

“And you’ve been here all this time?” He nodded. “I wish I’d known... I was so alone, until my husband came into my life.”

“We met briefly once, or rather, saw each other. It was in District Three, when you were there on your Victory Tour. I’d snuck in with the help of Beetee and a couple of his friends to help him try to hack into the Capitol’s airspace and it just so happened to be the same day that you and Peeta were there on your tour.” He paused again. “I met your daughters, and Primrose. Your daughters are so beautiful.” I smiled.

“They are, aren’t they? They both look so much like their father...”

“The younger one looks more like you. What are their names again?”

“Lark and Maevis. Lark is the older one at three and a half and Maevis is about twenty months old, almost twenty-one. Nearly two, if you will.”

“They’re very beautiful. Peeta’s a lucky man.”

“You’d love him, and I know he’d love you. I’ve told him so much about you, and Calum, and Dòmh, Ashilda, Mum and Dad... although I suppose I wouldn’t know you now, would I?”

“Twelve years is a long time to be separated from your siblings, but we’ve got time to catch up, don’t we?” He smiled at me, and I returned it, and then he stood and approached my bedside, bending to pull me into a hug, which I gratefully returned. This grown man was, indeed, the same little brother that I had once known and thought I had lost. I couldn’t believe he was alive! And Calum, too, but I hadn’t met him yet.

“When can I see Calum? Is he busy?” I asked Cailean.

“Whenever he can come in and trick the nurses into thinking he’s me, so probably sometime later today or tomorrow,” he replied.

“People still can’t tell you two apart? It’s quite obvious! You’re mirror images of each other, all they have to do is figure out which of your eyes is the blue one and go from there!”

“I guess it doesn’t matter as much to them as it does to you. Calum and I are very different, too. I know before, we were sort of similar as children, always getting into trouble and pulling pranks and all that.”

“Not really. Calum was always the talker while you were always quieter than he was.”

“He’s got the golden tongue, while I’ve got the golden brain. That’s what Commander Boggs says. Calum’s on track to become a commander and he works more in weapons development. He’s good at that kind of stuff, while I’m more of the sciencey stuff. I helped Dad develop his vaccine and I spend a lot of my days in the lab. Dad always said that you were one day destined to wear a lab coat, too. When you’re finally free from here, will you take up residence in the lab?”

“I spent most of my days as a midwife in District Twelve, just like Mum, so I may be better suited in the hospital, but I always liked spending time with Dad in the lab. Maybe you’ll find some use of me.”

“I know we will,” Cailean said with a smile. The pair of us sat in silence for a moment. “So... Your records say that your name is Katniss Everdeen. Did you want to maybe... change it back to Fòlais?”

“I’m married, actually. My name is Katniss Mellark and it has been for nearly four years now. I don’t understand why everyone keeps refusing to acknowledge that.”

“Our President thought that your marriage to Peeta was forced on you by the Capitol so when you came here, she had the marriage annulled, basically.”

“Annulled? Absolutely not! How can your president do that? I want that fixed!”

“I’ll have a word with her myself and see if I can get that fixed, okay?” I nodded, already furious with everyone who was here in bloody District Thirteen, and I looked away from him. “Are you... are you all right?”

“My home is destroyed, the love of my life has been captured by the Capitol and is either being tortured or is dead, and my marriage to him has been annulled by a president of another district that I had previously thought was nothing but a nuclear wasteland and I haven’t even met them. No, I’m not okay. I want to see my daughters.”

“President Coin thinks you’re mentally disoriented, and that’s why she doesn’t want you having other visitors.”

“Well, this President Coin seems to know everything about me, doesn’t she? Maybe I should have a word or two with her.”

“I’ll see if I can talk to her for now, at least let you see your daughters.” He was quiet again. “I’ll see you soon, all right? You need to rest.”

“I’ve done nothing but rest ever since I arrived. I want out and I want to be doing something. I can’t sit here stewing in the stink of my own bloody thoughts. They’re driving me mad!”

“I know. I’ll see what I can do.” He stood up from his seat. “I’ll let you know, too, if I can find anything on your husband... We have a lot of reconnaissance almost constantly in and out of the Capitol so maybe someone knows something.” I didn’t answer him, and my brother bent down to kiss the top of my head before he took his leave of the room.

This place was a hell hole, and I had a bad feeling that it was no better than the Capitol. I’d been there a few days and already, I was being controlled by their bloody president, who I hadn’t even met yet. She’d had my marriage annulled to Peeta all because she thought the Capitol forced it on us - she should have asked! She won’t let me see my daughters or Prim because she’d had me declared ‘mentally disoriented’, which apparently meant that I needed to be isolated away from people, which wouldn’t make anything any better. I was alone, more alone than I had ever been in my life, and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry. “Peeta...” I muttered to myself, as if he could hear me. “I’m so sorry, Peeta... Where are you, my love? I need you...” Everything hurt so much without him here with me. I didn’t know how I could face our daughters without him, knowing that they were going to have questions about where their daddy was. Had any of his family survived? His parents, his brothers, maybe even his nephew?

I didn’t know much about what was to happen next, and for the first time in my life, the future was foggy and I couldn’t see through it. I needed to talk to this Coin woman, find out why she so badly wanted to control me personally and find out who she was. I had a bad feeling about this, and about her, and it was all up to me to figure out why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Katniss learn when she finally meets this mysterious President Coin who has made so many assumptions about her? How will Katniss react when they meet?
> 
> Please review!


	2. Negotiation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss is reunited with her daughters and shares a word with Haymitch, then meets President Coin for the first time.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

A couple of days later, I was finally given clearance to have more than just one visitor, which meant that I could finally see my daughters. Prim brought them to me as soon as visiting hours began and when I finally held my girls for the first time since before the Games, I broke down and cried, holding them both so tightly. “Mama, why are you sad?” Lark asked me, and I smiled at her through my tears.

“Mummy isn’t sad, little bird... She’s so happy to see you both!” I told her, kissing her beautiful little blonde curls. Truth to be told, I was very sad, because looking at Lark, all I could see was Peeta, and it reminded me of the fact that Peeta was either dead or being tortured in the Capitol. I felt the tears sting my eyes again as I looked at her beautiful little face, so identical to Peeta’s. “Oh, darling... You look so much like Daddy...” I didn’t mean for that to slip out, but it did anyway, and Maevis picked up her head.

“Dada?” she asked me.

“Mama, where’s Daddy?” Lark asked. I ran my fingers through both of their hair. I couldn’t lie to them. They’d already seen the destruction of their home and they knew that some members of the family were no longer present, so to lie to them would be an insult.

“I don’t know,” I answered them honestly. “I’m sorry, babies, but... Mummy doesn’t know where Daddy is... We hope he’s safe and all right... but we don’t know where he is.”

“Is Daddy hurt?” Lark asked me.

“I hope not, little bird,” I answered her. “How are you girls? Have you been good for Auntie Prim and Grandma Mellie? And I hear you met Uncle Cailean and Uncle Calum.” Lark nodded.

“Uncle Cailean has a toy and it flies and it makes funny noises!” Lark exclaimed excitedly.

“Does he? I’d love to see it!” I said to my older daughter. A knock at the door drew my attention and when I looked up, Haymitch was standing in the doorway. I sent him a glare, but Lark and Maevis were very happy to see him.

“Unkee Hay!” Maevis cried, reaching out to him, but he remained where he stood.

“Mind if I come in?” he asked me.

“I don’t think I have a choice,” I replied, and he entered the room, taking Maevis from the bed before she leapt off, and Lark remained snuggled up under my arm.

“You know we gotta talk about what happened at some point, sweetheart,” he began. “We gotta work closely together and we can’t do that with this hangin’ between us.”

“I have nothing more to say to you,” I told him, trying not to sound too angry to upset the girls.

“We’re talkin’, and the girls shouldn’t be here or else they’ll probably hear some colourful vocabulary from ya,” he replied.

“You can’t force me to talk to you,” I told him, turning my attention to Lark and kissing the top of her head.

“Uncle Haymitch?” Lark asked him, looking up at him from beneath my arm. “Where's Daddy? Mama doesn’t know where Daddy is.”

“What makes ya think I know, kiddo?” Haymitch responded to her, and I rolled his eyes at his gruffness. “But we’re gonna find him, and we ain’t gonna stop until we do.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I spat at him, and he sent a glare my way.

“President Coin wants to see you,” he told me.

“Has she reinstated my marriage to Peeta yet?” I asked.

“Not that I know of, no,” Haymitch replied.

“Then I don’t want to see her.”

“Sweetheart, you ain’t got a choice. When ya talk to her, you can demand she reinstate your marriage, but it ain’t top priority for her.”

“Strange, it seemed like her top priority to annul it. If she can make time to annul my marriage, then she can make time to reinstate it. Then I’ll talk to her. Consider it leverage.” Haymitch sighed, likely getting a headache from my stubbornness.

“Damn, I wish the boy were here. He could talk some sense into ya.” He must have been sober because he never said something so stupid drunk.

“Yeah, I wish he was too,” I said with venom in my voice. “It’s a damn shame someone couldn’t get him out of the arena, isn’t it?”

“Goddamn it, girl, you let him out of your sight!” Haymitch snapped at me.

“Yeah, well your bloody friends didn’t give me much of a choice. Maybe if you’d clued us in on the fucking rebellion, I’d have kept him within sight!”

“Mama, you said a bad word!” Lark exclaimed.

“Shh, sweetie, don’t repeat it,” I told her.

“...actually, sweetheart, Peeta knew,” Haymitch replied. I looked up at him, my eyes wide with shock. Peeta knew? He knew the whole time about the rebellion? About the plot to destroy the arena? He knew about all of this... and he didn’t tell me? “We gotta talk. Right now. Gimme Lark and I’ll pass ‘em off to Mrs. Mellark and Primrose out there.” I didn’t really move much, but Lark understood what was being asked and let Haymitch help her down off the bed, following him out the door. When he came back in alone, he stood silently, possibly waiting for me to speak.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” I asked him.

“He thought you’d be angry.”

“No shit, but it’s more than that. Did he think I wouldn’t want to fight for the freedom of my daughters? For my own freedom? For a free Panem, safe from the Games and Snow?”

“No, sweetheart, he didn’t, because you were so far up Snow’s ass scared shitless of him that he didn’t wanna risk compromisin’ the rebellion.”

“I was not up Snow’s ass at all! I was terrified of what he’d do to my family, yes, and rightfully so! Look at what he did to Twelve! Look at what he did to _you!_ You’re miserable constantly, can never be sober and your only family is a couple of equally broken kids who are barely figuring out how to navigate their own worlds! I didn’t want to be like that, and I didn’t want my daughters to suffer! But I _still_ failed, because look at what happened! Snow firebombed Twelve, where my daughters were, and they almost died!”

“That’s called fear, sweetheart, and you had so much of it, Peeta didn’t wanna give you false hope in case it all failed. It was his way of savin’ you.”

“I wish it was you in that goddamn arena with me instead of him. Then he could be here with me and-”

“And you could be yellin’ at him instead? You got no idea what that boy sacrificed for you. You could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that? And I’ll tell you this, Haymitch. You’re right, I have _no_ idea about _anything_ he did that might have been for me, and do you want to know why? _Because I’m not a fucking mind reader!_ Nobody tells me _anything_ , and I’m bloody sick of it! I’m tired of being kept in the dark! I’m not some frail invalid who can’t care for themselves, I’m everything opposite of what you think I am, but all you and Peeta and everyone else in fucking Panem has ever done is assume shit about me.” I looked away from him, unable to even stand the site of Haymitch. “I used to be free... Nothing could stop me. My mother always told me that if the world stopped spinning, I had enough strength to make it spin again. And then one day, I couldn’t. It was like I had no fight left... What happened to me?”

“Love. It’s mankind’s greatest weakness. I know what it feels like to have it used against ya. I got no one left because of that.” I turned my head again to look at him, finally seeing all the sorrows that were held in his grey Seam eyes. Every loss he’d ever experienced created another wrinkle on his aged face - his mother, his sisters, his two lovers and all of the tributes that he failed to bring home. But did he really have no one?

“Have you met Carolina yet?” I asked him.

“Who, the blonde kid who was with us when we got ya out of the arena?” Haymitch asked me, and I nodded. “Of course. Why?”

“You may have met her, but do you _know_ her?” I asked again.

“The hell are you on about?”

“Haymitch, how many people in the world do you know with the surname ‘Abernathy’?”

“The hell? Just me. Why?” God, were all men this thick? He was very reminiscent of the time I first told Peeta I was pregnant, and it took him ages to figure that out.

“Really? I know two.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Go talk to Carolina.”

“Go talk to President Coin.”

“I told you, I’d speak to her when she reinstated my marriage to Peeta. It’s not that difficult. If she has the power to annul my marriage without my consent then she should be able to reinstate my marriage no problem. Feel free to pass on the message, I’ll be glad to speak to her when I am legally Peeta’s wife again.” Haymitch let out a sigh.

“Fine, I’ll pass on the message, but if she don’t like that then don’t get pissed at me.”

“Whatever, just pass it on. And send my daughters back in,” I told him. He just shook his head at me, and then he left my room. I thought I was good for a few days at least, but very early the next morning, I was woken up by a nurse who said she was going to accompany me to the Command Room, as I had been summoned by President Coin. “Can I refuse?” I asked the nurse.

“Afraid not,” the nurse replied.

“This doesn’t feel very free,” I told her, but she smiled with amusement.

“You’ll get used to it,” she told me, and she offered me a wheelchair.

“No thanks, I’ll walk. I’ve been sitting and lying down for days.”

“But Miss Everdeen, you’re-”

“Mrs. Mellark. How many bloody times do I have to say it?” I snapped with frustration. “I’m fine. I’m walking. Let’s just get this over with, please.” I let her lead me to the Command Room, and for the first time, I got my first glimpse of what District Thirteen looked like. It was all metal and stone, full of artificial light and air since we were so far underground. It was hideous, actually. All I wanted was to be in the fresh outdoor air, free as a bird in the woods, but instead, I was stuck underground in this stone cage the district called a corridor. When we were outside of the Command Room, the nurse pressed a button and the door opened, but I didn’t enter. Instead, I looked inside to see a middle-aged woman with silver pin-straight hair with a rather serious - and suspicious - look on her face.

“Come in, Miss Everdeen,” she told me. At the sound of the name that was forced on me by the Capitol, I narrowed my eyes at her and silently walked into the Command Room, the door closing behind me. “Have a seat.”

“That isn’t my name,” I told her somewhat sternly. I didn’t care that this woman was the president, she stripped me of my marriage to the man I loved.

“Miss Fòlais, then. I understand Soldier Fòlais and Doctor Fòlais are your brothers,” said President Coin.

“That isn’t, either. Not anymore. My name is Katniss Mellark,” I told her firmly.

“Miss Fòlais, your marriage to Peeta Mellark was a Capitol creation, and Capitol creations aren’t valid here-”

“That marriage was _not_ a Capitol creation. We were forced by Snow to have another one for the sake of him making money off of us. Peeta and I were married in our home of District Twelve legally on the thirtieth of September, 2159.”

“Miss Fòlais, we know that your... ‘love’... for Mr. Mellark was-”

“For Christ’s sake, stop calling me that! My name is Mrs. Katniss _Mellark_. I demand you reinstate my marriage. I thought I made it very clear that I would not hear you out until you did that.”

“There are far more important things at stake here than your marriage-”

“I don’t care. I don’t give two shits about your bloody plans or whatever the hell else you want me involved in. You _failed_ to rescue my husband from the arena and then you took away our bond of marriage. Reinstate it and then we’ll speak again.” I took a step to turn, but President Coin stood up.

“You have no idea what resources we used to get you here! We have sacrificed a lot for you - time, weapons, _lives_ \- and for what? For you to be ungrateful for everything we’ve done for you?”

“I didn’t ask for any of this! I didn’t even _know_ about any of this because everyone thought Katniss just couldn’t handle it. Well, guess what? You’ve just pissed her off, and I am _done_ being someone’s puppet. Once again, when you reinstate my marriage, I’ll be glad to speak with you.”

“Have a seat. I’ll reinstate your marriage to Mr. Mellark right now if that’s what it’ll take for this cat and mouse game to end,” said President Coin. She went to fetch something from a filing cabinet and then returned to the table, scribbling something on it in pen, and then she slid the paper across the table to me. “Your marriage is reinstated, _Mrs. Mellark_.”

“Wow, that took all of thirty seconds, didn’t it?” I replied snidely.

“Enough. As I said before, we have sacrificed a lot to bring you here. We want to lead a rebellion against the Capitol, but we can’t do that without the support of the districts. Unfortunately, we only have the support of Districts Four, Six, Seven, Eleven and Twelve, and we both know very well what happened to Twelve.” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“People died. A lot of them. Don’t use them as a bargaining chip,” I told her.

“Hopefully, I won’t have to. We need the support of the remaining districts. Four districts and one destroyed district won’t be of much help to the rebellion. That’s where you come in.”

“Did Haymitch tell you I likely wouldn’t do anything without Peeta?”

“He mentioned it.”

“He was right. If you have the resources to rescue me, then you can rescue him, and whoever else has been captured by the Capitol. I believe Annie Cresta is one of them?”

“Annie Cresta, Johanna Mason, and quite literally every surviving victor in the history of the Hunger Games are being held by the Capitol. Mrs. Mellark, we cannot possibly rescue them all.”

“Then find out a way to get Peeta back. Annie, too. Finnick doesn’t have much fight in him without her.”

“Mrs. Mellark, we know that the victors who were not in the Games are alive and being held in Victors’ Hotel, but we know nothing of Mr. Mellark, Miss Cresta or Miss Mason. We have no way of knowing whether they are alive or dead.”

“Figure it out, then. I have a family to protect, and Peeta is my family. It’s been over a week now since the Games, and if it’s true that Peeta knew about the rebellion and was a part of it, then you should be fighting tooth and nail to get him back.”

“Truth to be told, I wanted him over you. You’re weak and spineless, bowing down to everything Snow asked of you.”

“He had leverage, but I suppose if you don’t have children, then you’ll never know what it’s like to be terrified for their lives. You don’t know me at all, President Coin. I don’t want to be rude and I don’t want to be demanding, but I am not your puppet, and the first thing I heard about you was that you had my marriage annulled. I want to fight for a better world, but if you want me to do anything - unify the districts, raise morale, whatever - then you’ve got to scratch my back before I scratch yours. Got that? That’s how it works out in the real world, not in this little hidey hole you’ve made for yourself where everyone’s afraid to cross you.” President Coin watched me carefully as I stood. “I’ll gladly help you when I know my husband is safe. I cannot work undistracted knowing he’s in the Capitol possibly being tortured.”

“And what if he’s dead?”

“Then I’ll have something new to fight for, but I have a strong feeling that he isn’t dead.” I paused for a moment. “Find a way. If you want, I can help you find that way, and when he’s safe, I promise I’ll do whatever you ask me to do.”

“Whatever I ask?” she said to me, in a way that sounded eerily familiar.

“So long as you leave my children out of it, yes. When you rescue Peeta, then I’ll have something to be grateful for. Good day, President Coin.” With that said, I walked out of the Command Room and was rejoined by the nurse, but on our way out, I was surprised by the sight of Gale at the end of the corridor. His eyes met mine, for the first time since he’d attacked me and caused my miscarriage, and then he disappeared down another corridor. So he was alive...

Well, he’d better stay the hell away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Coin honour her agreement with Katniss? How will they go about rescuing Peeta and Annie? Will they attempt to rescue the remaining Victors?
> 
> Please review!


	3. The Dead Man Calls Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haymitch meets Carolina properly. Peeta is interviewed by Caesar Flickerman.

* * *

**CAROLINA POV**

* * *

Training to be a commander was something I’d wanted ever since I was a little girl. I hated standing by and not being a part of something bigger. When the Pox hit, I was a teenager and I knew nothing of viruses, medicine or anything like that, and when my mother got sick, there was nothing I could do to save her. My friend, Cailean, was working with his father, Dr. Dòmhnall Fòlais, in the labs to work on a vaccine and they succeeded, but not before Dr. Fòlais fell ill to the virus. It was too late for him, and he died of the Pox, same as my mother only days before the vaccine was finished. Cailean had to finish it all on his own, since Dr. Fòlais was the only scientist who knew anything about vaccines and diseases.

Back to being a commander in training, I was training under Commander Boggs, who was quick to take me under his wing. He knew I had a fighting spirit that couldn’t be quieted, and he knew how much I hated the Capitol and the Hunger Games, even though I hadn’t personally been affected by them. But hadn't I? My mother, Careese Flynn, was originally from District Twelve and told me she’d fallen in love with the only victor from her district, Haymitch Abernathy, a long time ago, but because the Capitol wanted to punish him for his actions in his Games, she was in danger. She told me he’d sent her north to District Thirteen, and it took her about a week or so to reach the doors of the underground district. She was taken in and put to work as part of the cleaning staff, and shortly after, learned that she was pregnant with me. I was born seven months after that discovery on a brisk November day, although we didn’t feel the external temperatures down in the halls of District Thirteen, and I was fourteen when she died. I never met my father - well, not until we rescued Katniss, Beetee and Finnick from the arena.

I grew up close to Cailean and Calum, who came to District Thirteen when we were all seven years old. Calum was more like me - determined, ambitious, wanting to make a difference - but Cailean was more in tune to me. He always knew when something was bothering me and I found him to be a very good friend. Which was why I turned to him when Haymitch Abernathy arrived in District Thirteen, unsure if I should reveal myself to him. “Why not?” Cailean asked me in his thick Hebridean accent. “Personally, I’d give anything to see my father again. You never had one, but now’s your chance to experience that.”

“Do you think he’d want to? He always seems so... I don’t know... gruff and harsh, always drunk,” I replied.

“Can’t be drunk here in Thirteen. You know Coin won’t make any exceptions, even for him. I heard he’s spent a lot of time in hospital with symptoms of withdrawal,” Cailean replied. We were in the lab, since that’s where he spent the majority of his time, and he was working on some sort of medical treatment. I let out a sigh.

“Maybe I’ll talk to him... You know, Katniss caught on quickly that I was related to him,” I told him.

“She’s a clever girl, that one. Dad always said so, and always hoped that she’d be out there alive somewhere. He’d just missed seeing her on the television by a year...” Cailean trailed off as he thought of his father, whom I had known as one of the friendliest, funniest men I’d ever met. “He never gave up hope, though, which was why Calum and I didn’t.”

“Has he seen her yet? Calum?” Cailean shook his head.

“He was planning to when she was still only able to have one visitor, but Coin made him go to District Five with Freya, Mitchell and Commander Jackson. They’re going to try to persuade Five to join the rebellion.”

“Five is a stubborn district. They’d have better luck with Three. I can’t believe that Three isn’t fully on board with the rebellion. Don’t they know that their Victors helped initiate it?”

“They do, and they’re pissed. I was there not too long ago, but I couldn’t stay long. I could only get in and out with ease thanks to Beetee and Wiress, but with Wiress dead and Beetee here and on the Capitol’s Most Wanted list, there’s no way in hell that I could get to Three.”

“Maybe you could convince their other victor, Dravius Pillock.”

“He’s also being imprisoned in the Capitol. He’s either in on the rebellion, too, or he knows about it, and District Three really does look up to its Victors. If we could get him out... maybe we could swing Three.”

“But only if we could get him out.” Cailean nodded, and we fell into a moment of silence. “I was talking to Coin this morning... Katniss won’t be the Mockingjay without Peeta Mellark, and she demanded that he be rescued. Coin asked me if I had any ideas.”

“Is he even alive?”

“We don’t know. We don’t even know where he is. All we know is the other Victors are being held in Victors’ Hotel. If we can find out where Peeta Mellark is being held, then maybe we can rescue him. Espionage says he’s not in the Hotel.”

“She’s so damn stubborn, my sister... Always was. She never gave up on anything. If a lobster trap line was cut, she’d dive down to the bottom of the sea to get it, even if it was twenty-thirty feet down. Now she’s going to make us hold off on the rebellion even longer because this lad’s in the Capitol probably being tortured...” Cailean glanced briefly across the room, his eyes falling on the remote control drone he’d built with Calum last year, and his eyebrow raised. “I think I have an idea...”

“Of how to rescue him?” I asked him.

“Not yet, that comes after we find out if he’s even alive,” Cailean replied, getting up and running to the drone, picking it up to inspect it. “I need to make some modifications. Shrink the size, increase recording capacity, give it some legs... but I think I can find a way to try to find out where he is. Tell Coin I’ll get working on it as soon as I can.”

“Will do,” I told him. “You’re an absolute genius, Cailean. I don’t know where we’d be without you.”

“Dead, probably, considering I finished the Pox vaccine,” he said cockily, and I laughed.

“Get to work... I’ll pass on the message to Coin,” I told him, and then I left the lab, making my way to the Command Room. I didn’t make it to the Command Room because I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder, and when I turned, I was met with a rather familiar pair of grey eyes, which startled me. My own father was standing in front of me, and I didn’t know how to address him. Dad? He didn’t even know, not yet at least. Mr. Abernathy? That felt so strange, considering he was my father. He saved me from doing either by speaking first.

“Katniss told me to talk to you. Any idea why?” he asked me.

“What was the context of the conversation?” I asked him.

“Don’t know, actually. All she said was she knows someone else with my last name.”

“Then there’s your answer. I’m that someone else.”

“You last name... it’s Abernathy?” I nodded. “Why?” I couldn’t help but snort, which made him raise an eyebrow.

“Why is my last name Abernathy? Same reason why it’s yours, it was my father’s last name and I was born with it,” I told him with amusement.

“How old are ya?” he asked me, seeming to catch on.

“Eighteen. I’ll be nineteen on November 16th,” I replied. He did a calculation in his head, probably determining the year I was born, which was 2144.

“Where's your mother?” he asked, this time almost in a whisper.

“She’s dead. Died in the Pox outbreak four years ago,” I replied. He was silent, now seemingly lost for words. “Her name was Careese Flynn... She came from District Twelve.” My father’s eyes widened at my revelation, and I continued. “She told me about you. About how you fought to live, and wanted to fight for her safety. She said you couldn’t have known she was pregnant because she didn’t even know until she was already here.”

“So you’re...”

“If you’re the same man my mother told me about, then... yes... I’m your daughter.” It was strange, seeing this Haymitch Abernathy struck into silence. On the hovercraft when we were leaving the Capitol, he seemed to have something to say about everything, but not this time. Instead, he stood there in silence processing the fact that he was just now finding out that he had a child. From what little I knew of my father, I knew that he had no other family, save for Katniss and Peeta and their daughters, so finding out that he actually did have a family - one single blood relative - must have been shocking to him, however, I didn’t have time to stand around while he gaped at me in silence. “I’m afraid I’ve got something very important to attend to. It pertains to Peeta Mellark and getting him out of the...” Suddenly, my father surprised me by throwing his arms around me and hugging me tightly, which I hadn’t been expecting at all.

“Are you real?” he whispered quietly to me.

“As real as they come,” I replied, unable to move my arms as they were trapped beneath his.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it because I am real, and I’m here.” I struggled a little to free myself from his embrace and pulled back to look at him with a smile on my face. “It’s so great to finally meet you, Dad... but I really do need to speak with President Coin. You can come, if you like... Katniss’s brother may have found a way to figure out if he’s alive or not.” He nodded, still not able to speak a word, and seemed to wipe a tear from his eye. “C’mon then, the sooner we set this plan into motion, the sooner we can bring Peeta home.” My father and I really did have a lot of catching up to do, and perhaps, if we both survived the rebellion, we would.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

It had now been days since I spoke with President Coin and I was finally allowed to leave the hospital two full weeks after I arrived in District Thirteen. I was put in a family room on a lower floor with the girls, while Prim and Mellie would share a room on a higher floor. Even though they weren’t mother and daughter - or even related at all except for their connection to me - they still shared a room. Prim was hardly there anyway, spending most of her time in the hospital, and Mellie was tasked with working in the kitchens since she had experience as a baker, but she really didn’t enjoy it. Apparently, District Thirteen’s kitchens were quite awful.

“The food they serve is horrible! I’m not sure some of it can even be considered ‘food’,” she was saying one day while visiting me in my room. At one point, there was a time when Mellie really disliked my presence, but I suppose over almost four years of being married to the only son that ever forgave her gave me some sort of benefit. We both worried about Peeta together, her as his mother and I as his wife. We took care of the girls together, which gave her something to do on the days when she wasn’t in the kitchens, but it was obvious that both of us were highly distracted by the fact that we had no idea where the boy we both loved dearly was.

I began to wonder if there had been any news about Peeta’s whereabouts, since Coin had agreed to rescue him in order for me to do anything for her, and as if he read my mind, Cailean summoned me to the lab to see something, and I brought Mellie and the girls along with me. “You’re going to love this, I promise,” Cailean said to me in Gàidhlig, not even realising that Mellie, too, could speak the language. “What I’ve made is a small device that should be able to move through the Capitol undetected and maybe give us an idea of where Peeta might be held, if he’s alive.”

“He’s definitely alive. I can feel it,” Mellie told him in Gàidhlig, and he looked at her with surprise.

“You’re Hebridean?” he asked her.

“My mother was. From Skye,” Mellie replied.

“That’s not far from where Katniss and I are from. Did she tell you we’re from Uibhist?” Cailean asked her.

“How quickly will this device find my son?” Mellie asked him, somewhat harshly, which caught Cailean slightly off guard. He glanced at me, not liking the fact that he couldn’t comment on that outburst without being misunderstood.

“Today, I’m testing it, but it’ll need some more work. It could take a couple more weeks to-”

“We don’t _have_ a couple of weeks! My son is in the Capitol possibly being tortured as we speak!” Mellie snapped at him, cutting him off.

“Mellie, he’s trying,” I said to my mother-in-law, who did have every right to be worried sick about Peeta, but snapping at Cailean wasn’t going to bring him back any sooner.

“It takes time. I’ve got to find a way to load this into a drone and get it safely into the Capitol,” Cailean replied, showing us a small capsule with a dark object inside. “This here? It’s what I call a bug. It’s small enough to go undetected and resembles a small insect. A spider. Once this is released from the drone and frees itself from this pod, it’ll be able to navigate through the Capitol and find a way into a building. It’ll all be controlled from here, but of course, first I need a way to get it to the Capitol. Coin won’t let me leave the district.”

“If you tell her it’s for an important mission, she might let me take it,” came another male voice in Gàidhlig, surprising all of us, and when we turned to face the direction where the voice came from, standing there in the doorway was my other brother and Cailean’s twin, Calum, whom I had yet to see. He smiled at me, his charming Fòlais smile mirroring his brother’s, his right blue eye giving me a friendly wink. “Look who it is! My very own little sister, finally awake!”

“Oi, I’m older than you by fourteen months!” I replied, crossing the room to him and pulling my little brother, who was now towering over me, into a hug. “God, it’s so good to see you alive again, Calum...”

“You as well, although of course, we’ve known you were alive for the last four years,” Calum replied, pulling back from the embrace. “Now, let’s see about this plan to rescue our new brother.”

“It’s not a plan yet, just a device that needs to be tested,” Cailean replied. He then opened the little capsule and shook the small little arachnid-shaped object into his hand, then set it on the floor. From the table, he picked up a remote control with a screen on it, then hit a button so that the screen on the device would appear as a holographic screen instead. The holographic screen was fuzzy, but it was very clear that what was in front of the device, which was a chair, was visible on the holographic screen.

“Well, at least the camera’s working,” I said.

“It’ll all work, you’ll see!” Cailean said confidently, pressing some buttons on the remote. The little bug moved just a little, but then it popped, producing very small sparks and a tiny cloud of smoke. “No, no! C’mon, mate!” Cailean exclaimed at the little bug, but it was too late for it to be saved.

“Back to the drawing board, I guess,” Calum said, teasing his twin brother, but Cailean only sighed.

“I’m sorry, Kat,” he said to me. “I promise I’ll get this working as soon as I can.”

“It’s okay. You’re trying, and that’s what counts,” I told him.

“We should probably start working on a plan to actually rescue him. Better to have the plan ready sooner rather than later. Could get him out quicker,” Calum chimed in.

“But we can’t make a plan if we don’t know the layout of the building,” I heard a familiar female voice say, and when I looked towards the door again, Freya Deshannon was leaning against the doorframe, her arm resting against the wall above her head. She smiled at me when I looked at her. “Hello again, Katniss.”

“Freya,” I said, my eyes wide with surprise. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?”

“Perhaps I’m a ghost,” she replied with amusement. “When the train derailed, I was standing between cars trying to get some air. I was ejected into the woods. I was hurt pretty badly, but as you can see, I lived. I escaped into the woods and it took two and a half weeks to get here, but here I am.”

“You knew District Thirteen existed?” I asked with surprise.

“Not really, I was flying blind. But I hoped it was really there, like the rumours said. Even if it wasn’t, it was made clear that Snow wanted me dead, so whatever fate awaited me where District Thirteen was rumoured to be was better than what would have eventually happened to me if I’d made myself known to the Capitol,” Freya replied.

“I didn’t even know District Two believed in rumours about District Thirteen surviving,” Mellie chimed in. “I thought... Forgive me, but I thought District Two was very much for the Capitol.”

“We are, mostly. Well, _they_ are. Some of us are a part of an extensive underground resistance. I was a part of it, my parents were a part of it... Odysseus was a part of it. We were called the Warrior Elite. We were disguised as a sort of society of some of the best fighters in District Two. Lenerok Kifflin was the only District Two victor who was in it, and he worked with us privately to help Lucy win. Haymitch’s idea,” Freya explained.

“Haymitch is full of surprises, isn’t he?” I said, mildly annoyed that Haymitch had kept yet another secret from me. “Did Peeta know about that too? Was that yet another thing he was keeping from me?”

“No, Haymitch kept that one to himself,” Freya replied. “Anyway, we should really get back to trying to figure out what building Peeta’s in. Once we know that, I think we’ll be better suited for...” She trailed off, her eyes wide as she looked at a screen behind our shoulders. The Capitol anthem had begun to play, surprising us all, and we all turned to see the Capitol seal turn into the familiar face of Caesar Flickerman.

“Hello, good evening, and a big welcome to all in Panem,” he said. His voice sounded somewhat solemn and not nearly as cheerful as it usually had, and his face reflected a more neutral expression, so unlike the usual false expression of excitement he wore - something was wrong. “I’m Caesar Flickerman, and whoever you are, whatever it is you’re doing, if you’re working, put down your work. If you’re having dinner, stop having dinner, because you are going to want to witness this tonight. There has been rapid speculation about what really happened in the Panem Centennial Hunger Games - otherwise known as the 78th Hunger Games - and here, to shed a little light on the subject for us, is a very special guest. Please welcome... Mr. Peeta Mellark.”

I gasped and felt tears stinging my eyes almost immediately. On the screen were familiar sky blue eyes - except, they weren’t as blue as they used to be... maybe darker now - framed by neat and glossy honey golden curls sitting on a face that was much skinnier than I remembered. Was it possible for a face, once plump and round, to get that skinny in only a couple of weeks? After living in the Seam for so long, I recalled that it indeed was, if the individual had barely had a bite to eat in all of those two weeks.

“Daddy!” Lark cried from Cailean’s lap, who had taken her and sat down in a chair with wheels on it.

“Oh my God!” I cried, approaching the screen and raising a hand to touch the face that was on it. “You’re alive...” 

“Peeta,” Caesar began again. “A lot of people feel as though they are in the dark.”

“Yeah, I uh, I know how they feel,” said Peeta with some amusement, but his voice wasn’t nearly as strong as it used to be.

“Now, set the stage for us. Talk us through what happened on that final and controversial night,” Caesar said to him.

“Well, first off, you have to understand that when you’re in the Games... you only get one wish, and it’s very costly,” Peeta began.

“It cost your life?” Caesar asked him.

“I think it costs more than your life,” Peeta replied.

“How do you mean? What costs more than your life?” Caesar asked him.

“Well, you have to murder innocent people, and that costs everything that you are. So y-you hold onto that one wish but... but my one wish was to... to save Katniss,” Peeta replied, stuttering on some words.

“Oh, Peeta,” I muttered in response. “What have they done to you...”

“You know, I should have just run off with her, earlier in the day like she’d wanted,” Peeta continued.

“But you didn’t,” Caesar replied.

“No,” Peeta muttered quietly. 

“Why?” asked Caesar. “Were you caught up in Beetee’s plan?”

“No, no I was caught up trying to play allies. And then they separated us and... that’s when I lost her,” said Peeta, a hint of sadness in his voice. “And then the lightning hit and, uh... the whole force field around the arena just... blew out.”

“Yes, but Peeta... _Katniss_ is the one who ‘blew it out’,” said Caesar, although he didn’t sound like a reprimanding parent like he probably ought to have. In fact, there was a small mischievous sparkle in his eye.

“I know...” Peeta muttered.

“You saw the footage,” Caesar continued.

“Sh-she didn’t know what... what she was doing,” Peeta stuttered. Still trying to protect me, after all this time. “Neither of us... knew there was a bigger plan going on.” That was a lie if I’d ever heard one, but if Peeta was good at one thing, it was lying. “We had no idea.”

“You had no idea?” Caesar asked him.

“No,” Peeta replied. Something told me that Caesar knew otherwise.

“All right... Well, Peeta, there are many who find this suspicious, to say the least. It seems as though she was part of a rebel plan,” Caesar told him.

“What, do you think it was part of her plan to be almost killed by Johanna?” Peeta asked him. “Or part of the plan to be paralysed by lightning? No, she was not part of any rebel plan. She had no idea what was going on.”

“ _She_ didn’t?” Caesar asked him. Being a master of words himself, he immediately detected how Peeta had gone from ‘we’ to ‘she’.

“No... because I made damn sure she didn’t know,” Peeta told him, and then he stood, Caesar’s expression changing to one of surprise, and Peeta spoke very quickly. “People of Panem, don’t wait to take charge! Get out there and fight back! Fire is catching and you have to help burn this Panem to the ground!” There was chaos on the screen, and someone tackled Peeta from behind and for a moment, those sky blue eyes were back, and he looked at the screen. “Katniss, wherever you are, don’t let them win! You have to fight back! For them!” A foot appeared from the side of the screen and just before it made contact with his face, the screen cut out, and it was nothing but a black screen.

“Peeta! Peeta, no!” I cried, and then I turned to the rest of the room. Maevis was in Mellie’s arms in tears and Lark sat on Cailean’s lap with a neutral expression on her face. “We have to get him out of there! We have to find him!”

“That was the Tribute Tower. I recognised the background. That was the District Two floor,” Freya said. “He must be on one of the sublevels, everything else is in that building.”

“Then all we need is a plan,” said Calum. “Freya, let’s go. We need to speak to Coin.”

“I’m coming with you!” I exclaimed, stopping them both as they made for the door, and then I turned to Mellie and Cailean. “Watch the girls. I need to do this.” I turned on my heel and followed Calum and Freya out of the lab. As we ran down the corridors among shocked people who had also seen the broadcast, some of them looking at me with sorrow or sympathy, we rounded a corner and saw Carolina and Haymitch also heading in the same direction. “Haymitch! Did you see? He’s alive!” I called to Haymitch, who stopped and turned to face me.

“I know. We’re goin’ to Coin now to develop a plan,” Haymitch replied.

“So are we,” said Freya. “He’s in the Tribute Tower, that was the District Two floor.”

“Must be in the sublevels. There’s a lot of floors listed on the sublevel elevators,” Haymitch replied.

“Tribute tower, sublevels. We just have to find out which one, we don’t have time to. You all go to Coin, I’ll go back to Cailean and ask him about that surveillance system he was developing,” Carolina said.

“It failed! Tell him to continue working on it!” I called after her.

“Will do!” she replied, and then she was off towards the lab.

“The girls didn’t see that, did they?” Haymitch asked me.

“They did,” I told him. “Unfortunately, they did...”

“Worry about that later. The sooner we make a plan, the sooner we can get him back,” Freya said, interrupting us.

“Right, let’s go quickly!” I said, and we were off again. When we arrived at the Command Room, I saw that we would be joined by Plutarch Heavensbee, Commander Boggs, Commander Jackson and Gale, who didn’t look very happy to see me.

“Soldiers Abernathy, Fòlais and Deshannon, I’m glad you could make it. Mrs. Mellark, this is a very important meeting that you have insisted you will not be a part of until Mr. Mellark is returned,” President Coin said, glaring at me.

“She wants to help build a plan to rescue him,” Calum replied, trying to vouch for me, but President Coin was a stern woman.

“I don’t think so. Mrs. Mellark and I have a agreement. Her exact words were ‘I won’t do anything until he is returned’. I’ll have to ask you to leave, Mrs. Mellark. I believe this counts as ‘anything’,” Coin replied, and I sent her a nasty glare.

“You need to leave Katniss. President Coin won’t start the meeting when you’re here,” Gale told me, and I sent a venomous glare his way. “Do you want him to be rescued sooner or later? The longer you stand there glaring at me, the more his rescue is delayed.” He wouldn’t even say Peeta’s name, and for some reason, that pissed me off even more. I sent a nasty glare towards Coin as well, and Calum joined me at my side, leaning down to whisper into my ear in Gàidhlig.

“I’ll tell you everything after, I promise. Don’t argue with her, you won’t win,” he told me, and I glanced up at him for a moment, slowly nodding my head. I sent Coin one more nasty glare before turning on my heel and leaving, the door closing and locking behind me.

My God, my Peeta was alive... and there was a plan being formed right this second to rescue him. Soon, my Peeta would be in my arms again, safe from Snow and whatever he was doing to harm him. I tried not to think about all of the horrible things that Snow could be doing to him... it hurt my heart to imagine such horrible things happening to such a wonderful person. Peeta compromised himself just to get a message to me to keep on fighting. Snow now had proof that Peeta knew about the rebellion beforehand and was in on the plan, so now, whatever was being done to Peeta would likely be ten times worse. Whatever it was, it would likely be designed to break me, since Snow seemed to have it out for me. Everything he did was designed to break me. The arena, forcing me to have children, forcing me to give birth in front of the Capitol and forcing me to give up my right to name my own child... 

I feared for Peeta’s life. He had a public confession from Peeta about being part of the rebellion, which meant that Peeta had confessed to committing treason. I hoped so badly that he could be rescued soon... I then thought back to Gale, who spoke little to me but seemed to be on board with rescuing Peeta. Why would he do that? He hated Peeta. He hated Peeta because I had chosen to love him over Gale, or at least, I believed he did. Why did Gale want to help him? Why would he want to help _me?_ Truth to be told, he probably thought like Coin did, that if Peeta was returned then I’d agree to be their puppet. Gale was probably her right-hand man. And then another thought hit me...

What ever happened to his wife and child?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did happen to Gale’s wife and child? What will the plan to rescue Peeta entail? Will it succeed? 
> 
> Please review!


	4. A Moment Lost, A Moment Gained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mellie reflects on the loss of her family. Katniss hears the plan to rescue Peeta from Calum.

* * *

**MELLIE POV**

* * *

I couldn’t rest easy after the firebombing. I’d lost my husband, my two older sons, my daughter-in-law and my grandson. My sister, too, and her family were all lost during the bombing, leaving only myself, Peeta and my granddaughters left from our family. Well, and Katniss and Primrose, but Katniss had married into our family and Primrose was Katniss’s cousin, evidently. I suppose our family grew a little with the addition of Katniss’s two brothers, but despite all of that, I’d never felt more alone.

Katniss kept me company when she could, bringing my granddaughters to visit or inviting me to their room, but she wasn’t my son, nor my husband, nor my sister. I was worried sick about Peeta being in the Capitol and I feared for his life, especially after that broadcast, which was now about a week ago. I was angry that District Thirteen and this... President Coin were delaying my son’s rescue, and for what? He could be dead now, we hadn’t heard a word about him since the broadcast. I had thought that him going into the Games was the greatest pain and fear that I could have ever experienced, but this - not knowing - was so much worse.

I wished that Caseo was there with me to help me through it, or better yet, I wish that I had died with him. Out of everyone in my family - Caseo, Christos, Rye, Peeta, Aaricia, Barley, Maidie - I deserved to live the least. I had done nothing to deserve the life that I was now living, except maybe the loneliness. Caseo deserved to live over me. He was always so kind to everyone no matter who they were, a trait that Peeta had inherited. He was so much better as a parent than I ever had been, and for good reason. He wanted to be a parent and to have children, while I didn’t want any of that. And even though I was so awful to him for almost our entire marriage...

...he was still so kind to me.

He never forced himself on me. It was a requirement of citizens of Panem to have at least two children, so we tried and tried until we got pregnant with Christos and then Rye, and then two years after Rye was born, I had the desire to have another child, hopefully a little girl, so I approached Caseo again and he was so willing. Christos and Rye were born out of necessity, but this third child would be born out of something else... love, maybe? Love for her, at least, and I was so sure that the child growing inside of me was a beautiful little girl and I promised to love her unconditionally, never allowing her to experience the world the way I had. And when Peeta was born as a boy, I gave up on that dream of ever having a daughter of my own, so I shut them all out. I became cold and hard, angry that I never got anything that I wanted... until I realised, too late in my opinion, that I did have everything I had ever wanted, just not the way I thought I would. I had a warm, loving family - Peeta forgave me after everything when he shouldn’t have, but he did it anyway because he had such a good heart. I did have a daughter after all, in Katniss, and now in Primrose, who lost her mother in the bombing. Neither of them were my daughters by birth, but I was now the only mother-like figure in their lives, and Katniss was my daughter through her marriage to my son. I had two beautiful granddaughters who were each a perfect mix of their parents... but the one thing I didn’t have was a loving husband. I lost him, before I realised that I did, indeed, love Caseo Mellark.

Caseo Mellark proposed to me when we were nineteen, after he had lost Agnessa Peart to Archie Everdeen. I knew that I wasn’t his first choice, and I knew that he never stopped loving her, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t show me love. He was always soft and gentle with me - in bed, out of bed, just about anywhere, really. When he was teaching me how to bake, he was incredibly patient with me when I was so short with him, and he had no reason to be. He was warm and kind to me and I just froze him out, for over twenty years. It took our youngest son getting reaped for the Hunger Games, and then him surviving and teaching me how to forgive my past, to see the love that Caseo held for me. Perhaps it wasn’t nearly as strong as his love for Agnessa was, and perhaps he only learned to love me over time, but he did still love me, and though he didn’t say it, he showed me in other ways. There were some nights, when Rye was upstairs asleep and after both Christos and Peeta were out of the house with their families, when Caseo and I would be downstairs late at night going over orders and accounting books... when his warm hand, roughened and calloused by years of burning his fingertips on hot trays, would find its way to mine, wrapping firmly around mine as his bespectacled blue eyes overlooked the books. I would look up at his face, aged by years of hard work, and come to realise how handsome he truly was. He would meet my eyes, and then freeze, blue eyes on my Hebridean grey, and he would quietly whisper to me, “You have no idea how beautiful you are...” I never believed him based on his words only, but when he would lean in, those sweet blue eyes closed, and press his warm lips against mine, only then, would I believe him.

He was a tender lover, and the first time we went to bed together because we wanted to, not because we were trying to make a child, I realised what the term ‘making love’ really meant. It took years for us to get to that point, and I’m so ashamed even to this day that I refused to open my eyes sooner. The more time progressed, the more advances he made, and the less I rejected them. The morning of the reaping of the 78th Hunger Games, a day we both were sure that we would lose our youngest boy for real, he woke me with a soft kiss, and for the first time, he told me he loved me. I could have cried, I was so happy to hear it... but I didn’t say it back. I didn’t think I deserved to say it, but he still deserved to hear it, so all throughout that fateful morning, I tried to work on the courage to tell him that I, too, loved him, in my own special way.

But I never got the chance.

Caseo died in the firebombing, his last words telling me to run, to keep Maevis safe, for Peeta. I begged him to come with me and for a little while, he did, but I lost him in the crowd. I should have run then, but I couldn’t. I had to find him, and twenty minutes later, I did - lying dead beneath the fallen debris of the Justice Building. He died never hearing me tell him that I loved him, too. I could never forgive myself for my cowardice. I should have told him that morning, but I was so afraid and so insecure, sure that I didn’t deserve to be so happy... and now, it was too late, and I had to live with that guilt.

“M-Mellie?” came a shaken voice from behind me, and I turned my head towards the voice. I was seated at a table by myself in the cafeteria of District Thirteen contemplating my thoughts, and there standing before me was the familiar face of an old friend, one I thought I would never see again. My eyes widened as my own grey Hebridean eyes met with his, framed by a mess of dishevelled chocolate brown curls and healing burns tracing his face.

“August,” I muttered quietly, my eyes wide with surprise at my company. “I thought... I didn’t see your name on the list...”

“You were looking?” asked August Douglas, a somewhat hopeful look in his eye. Even after all these years, he still had a strong Hebridean accent.

“You’re an old friend. I’d never just ‘forget’ you... not like I said, all those years ago,” I replied. He nodded gently, wringing a piece of cloth in his hands.

“I’m sorry, about your family... I can’t imagine how devastated you must be... Well, actually, I can... My family didn’t survive the bombing, either...”

“You were burned... What happened to you?”

“Burning building fell on me, when I was trying to get my grandchildren out... Thom Derry found me, one of the foreman-in-training in the mines... Pulled me out. I was unconscious and couldn’t protest, but... I should have died along with my family. I can’t blame him for saving my life, but I wish he didn’t.”

“My granddaughter saved mine, but it wasn’t her fault. I was holding her, and I had to get her out of there... I wished I’d handed her off to someone else to get her to safety...” I looked back down at my hands in my lap, contrasting against the slate grey of the District Thirteen jumpsuit uniform. “I wish I’d died with them, too... my family...”

“Then we’re both guilty survivors,” August replied. I smiled sadly, then looked up to meet his bemused eyes. “I just... wanted to express my sympathy... for your loss, and for your son. I hear that they’re forming a plan to rescue him. I can only hope they do that soon.”

“Thank you. And I’m sorry about yours, too... your loss. You didn’t deserve something so awful to happen to you... You’ve never deserved anything awful happening to you,” I told him, now apologising for the way I’d treated him all those years ago. He met my eyes again, urging me to stop before I went too far.

“The past is the past... and I don’t want to talk about the past. I’d best get back to the hospital, they need to... check my burns and all that... I’ll see you around, Mellie,” he said to me, giving me a curt nod.

“Of course. I’ll... I’ll see you around,” I replied, and I watched as he walked away from me. My heart ached from a combination of things - the loss of my family, the loss of my husband and sons, the loss of my home, and the pain from a lifetime that happened a quarter of a century ago. One day, I would have to reflect on what I did to poor August Douglas, who never should have had his heart broken by someone so awful like me, but I guess if you play with fire, then you get burned, and I burned him badly. I couldn’t think of this now, not when I was mourning the loss of my husband. It felt wrong. Instead, I decided to make my way back to my compartment and lie down in bed, burying myself under the covers and shutting the world out.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

A week had passed since I was locked out of the Command Room and of hearing the plan proposal to rescue Peeta, and I still hadn’t heard a word. Calum had been telling me that the plan hadn’t been finalised and he didn’t want to give me false hope, but I managed to convince him that I could have some ideas, too. Apparently, Coin didn’t want me to know anything about the plan, but my brothers were more loyal to me than they were to her, so Calum agreed to meet up with me, Freya, Cailean and Carolina to discuss some of the plans in an empty classroom during dinner. We’d sacrifice a meal, but for me, it would be worth it.

Until then, I thought I’d tell Mellie that I’d be learning the plans for Peeta’s rescue and that I’d tell her as soon as I heard them, but when I went looking for her in the kitchens, she wasn’t there. In fact, she had only shown up a small handful of times in the three weeks we’d been in District Thirteen, which concerned me a little, so I went to the room that she shared with Prim and knocked on the door. “Mellie?” I called. “It’s Katniss... Are you okay? The kitchen staff says they haven’t seen you in a while.” No answer. “Mellie?” I tried the door, and it was unlocked, so I poked my head in to view an empty bed and a bed with a lump underneath the covers. “Mellie?” The lump shifted, so I slipped into the room and closed the door behind me, then sat on the bed beside her. “Are you okay?”

“You lost your whole family once... you know what it’s like...” my mother-in-law muttered quietly.

“Ah, survivor’s guilt... I had that word thrown at me a couple hundred times when I was a child. But yes... I know what it feels like, only I was a child at the time and I didn’t have a full understanding of it. And I wasn’t a mother, and I didn’t lose my sons or the love of my life. Not yet, at least, and I suppose I only lost one son...” I replied, looking at the floor.

“He died before I could tell him. Caseo...”

“I think he knew. I’m sure he did. You both seemed so happy these last couple of years. I know what it’s like struggling to tell someone I love them, too...”

“But you told Peeta. He knows.”

“It won’t make a difference if he dies...” She picked up her head to look at me.

“Don’t say that. He won’t die. He’s fighting to get back to you and the girls, I know he is.”

“I came here to tell you, actually, that there’s going to be a plan to rescue him, and the plan will be told to me later this evening. I want to tell you as soon as I know what it is. I’d ask you to come, but I thought you might like the time to spend with the girls.” She nodded gently, then brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

“I hope it succeeds, whatever it is, and I hope it’s soon... He’s all I have left from my past. My parents are dead, my sister, my nieces, my husband, my two oldest sons... Peeta is all I have left.”

“We might not be from your past, but you have me and the girls, too, now. In fact, why don’t you come and stay with us in our room? It gets awful lonely in there, and two toddlers are quite a challenge sometimes.”

“What about Primrose?”

“I’d invite her, too, but I think she’ll enjoy having the room to herself, truthfully. She’s hardly here, anyway.” Mellie nodded, then raised her eyes to mine.

“Later, I will, after dinner. I just... need some time to myself right now.”

“I understand that well. If you’re not there after dinner, I’ll come and check in, make sure you’re all right.” I gave her a smile, and then I stood, heading towards the door.

“Katniss,” she called, and I turned to face her. “Thank you... You have no reason to be kind to me...”

“The last three and a half years, you’ve been kind to me, and you’re now the closest thing to a mother I have. Of course there’s a reason,” I told her, and with a final smile, I left her to her peace.

Six o’clock rolled around and I met up in C-2116, which was the empty classroom where Calum, Freya, Cailean, Carolina and I would meet. When I arrived, only Cailean was there studying some books, but we were joined by the other three shortly after. “Right,” Calum began, sitting down at a desk. “The plan is fairly simple. Cailean’s going to get that bug down into the sublevels of the tribute tower to do some reconnaissance. Freya, Gale, Boggs, Mitchell and I will be camped outside of the Capitol in District Seven waiting for the all-clear, and then we’ll go in and get him. Sounds easy enough, right?” Gale was going? It was so hard for me to figure out what the hell his motives were. Why did he want to save Peeta?

“Sounds too easy,” I told him. “You may get in and out of there just fine, but Snow’s likely been expecting a rescue for some time now. Do you really think there won’t be some sort of resistance? He, Johanna and Annie were actively a part of the rebellion. They’re probably all under lock and key. And what about the other Victors?”

“They’re not a priority for Coin,” said Carolina.

“They should be. You need Lenerok Kifflin to win over District Two,” Freya told them.

“President Coin thinks that if Katniss becomes the Mockingjay, then the other districts will eventually join,” Carolina told her, and Freya scoffed.

“I’m sorry, but the three of you aren’t from the districts. You may have visited, but that’s not how it works. Sure, they want out of the Hunger Games and Snow’s grasp, too, but they’re more concerned about protecting their people. Their mayors, if they haven’t joined already, likely aren’t going to be swayed by Katniss,” said Freya.

“Snow rounded up all the mayors and had them either imprisoned in the Capitol or killed, depending on the district. The mayors from Three, Four, Seven and Eleven were all killed, the others were imprisoned,” said Calum.

“So then you definitely need the Victors. People look up to their Victors for-” Freya began, but I cut her off.

“Wait,” I said. “What if you create a diversion? You can’t rescue all of the other Victors. There’s a lot of them, and that small team isn’t going to be able to do it. They’re probably in their rooms in the Hotel spread out across eleven floors, there’s no way you’d be able to do that. Unless you could convince them to plan an escape. It would divert all, or at least most attention away from the Tribute Tower, meaning there would be less resistance to face when your team goes in to rescue Peeta.”

“Do you really think they’ll be able to speak to each other?” Freya asked me.

“I don’t know, but we can use Cailean’s bug to find out,” I said, looking to my brother.

“I’ve got a few bugs, actually. We can survey both the Hotel and the Tower at the same time,” Cailean replied.

“Try to find Lenerok Kifflin. I never got to stay in the Hotel so I don’t know his usual room, but look for him,” Freya chimed in.

“I heard she favoured Odeon Avisdee,” Calum replied, seeming to tease her, and Carolina cleared her throat.

“That could work, the extra bug to try to incite an escape among the other Victors. The bugs can talk, right? Or rather, we talk through them.” Cailean nodded. “Cailean and I could go on the mission and hang back on the hovercraft to navigate the bugs. You’ll need a damn good pilot, and Cailean’s one of the best,” Carolina said. “He got us all out when we rescued Katniss and Finnick Odair from the arena.” Finnick... I should probably visit him and tell him my plan. He was still in the hospital, very emotionally distressed and unwell.

“You just want to go on the mission the worst way,” Calum said with a snide grin, and Carolina rolled her eyes at him.

“That is, if Daddy lets her,” said Cailean, also teasing her, and she scoffed.

“I know exactly how you feel, Carolina. I had to endure that, too, when we were children,” I said.

“And that was before trauma, so it must have been _much_ worse,” Carolina replied with amusement.

“I’ll propose the plan to President Coin, but... I’ll have to tell her that it was mine. She’d be pissed if she knew that you knew about the plan,” Calum told me. “But I’ll tell her after Peeta’s been rescued. Then she can’t take me off of the mission.”

“She doesn’t have to know at all. I don’t care if she does, I just want Peeta safe,” I told my brother, who nodded. “Right, I’ll meet with Coin first thing in the morning. Until then, try to rest easy... I know it’s been hard sitting here not able to do anything.”

“It’ll all be worth it, soon,” I replied. Our meeting broke apart and we all went to our respective rooms, and I decided then to pay Finnick a visit. It was after visiting hours, so I had to convince Prim to let me in to speak to him.

“I can’t sneak you in. I’m trying to become a doctor, I don’t want anything to jeopardise that,” said Prim in a hushed whisper.

“Prim, please. I have news that could help Finnick, and he’s one of your patients, isn’t he?” I asked her. She let out a sigh, seeming to debate the action back and forth in her head.

“Fine,” she said. “But follow me, and keep quiet.” She seemed annoyed at me for wanting to sneak in after visiting hours, or maybe it was something else, but I had enough on my plate as it was and didn’t have time to work out why. When I walked into Finnick’s room, I sat down beside him, waiting for him to notice me. He was lying on his left side, his hands tying knots in a small piece of rope, and his seafoam eyes never met mine.

“You’re remarkably calm, for someone who’s husband is probably being tortured in the Capitol,” he said to me suddenly.

“I have to be, for my children, and I spent a lot of time as a midwife so it’s easy for me to remain calm in stressful situations. But I’m not a robot... I’ve broken down hundreds of times when no one can see,” I replied.

“You’re very strong. Wish I was...” he muttered back.

“You can be, now... There’s a plan being formed to rescue Peeta from the Capitol, and I made sure to demand that Coin rescue Annie as well.” His eyes then met mine, and his hands froze mid-knot.

“They’re... they’re getting her out? Both of them?”

“Johanna, too, if they can.”

“Oh my God... I can’t believe it... When?”

“Hard to say, but hopefully soon.” I paused for a moment as I assessed the expression on his face - it was the same expression I had on mine when I found out that Peeta was alive. “She’s not just a friend, is she? You love her.”

“The same way you love Peeta,” he told me. “I’m sorry I never believed it... It was obvious, really, how much you loved him. Do love him. I mean, none of us doubted that he loved you, but you... I guess everyone shows their love in different ways. I should have seen it... Annie does it differently, too.”

“How does she express her love for you?”

“Little things... Making sure I’m well fed, making sure I have water. She took care of my mother, too, when I... when I had to go to the Capitol... She’s not always very affectionate, and sometimes very quiet, but she has her ways. In Four we have a doctor who really likes psychology, and he wanted to meet with Annie after she came back from her Games. He... he said she had something called autism. It made her more quiet and unable to socialise as well as others.”

“I’ve heard of that... When I first came to Panem, I was given that diagnosis, too, although I’m not sure if I actually have it because at the time, I had just gone through a very traumatic experience and barely spoke any English,” I told him. “Annie is very sweet, and I never minded that she was quiet.”

“She’s very comfortable around you. You two have a bond, speaking the same language. I know a phrase or two, but she doesn’t really trust anyone else enough to talk to, especially in Gàidhlig. She trusts you, though.” I raised an eyebrow.

“You speak some Gàidhlig?”

“Only the basics needed for fishing. We have a lot of Hebridean refugees in Four. I knew what you said when we were racing sailboats when you came on your Victory Tour. ‘ _Ullachadh airson bòrdadh’._ ”

“Prepare to tack,” I said in English with a chuckle. I checked the clock on the wall and with a sigh, met Finnick’s eyes. “I’d best go, visiting hours are technically over and I snuck in here, so I don’t want to be found by one of the staff. Come on out of here sometime, there’s a couple of places around this metal cage that you might actually find quite beautiful.”

“I think I will... Thanks for telling me about the rescue plan. You’ll let me know when it is?”

“I’ll tell you everything as soon as I hear it. Try to rest, I’ll see you soon.” I left him with a smile before heading back to my compartment, and when I walked in, I was happy to see Mellie fast asleep on the couch in the main living area. I covered her with an extra blanket, then made my way to my own room. Knowing that there was a plan to save Peeta, I finally fell into a dreamless sleep, just for the one night. Soon, he would be in my arms again, and everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened between Mellie and August? How will President Coin respond to Calum’s proposed plan, and will it succeed?
> 
> Please review!


	5. Stage One Commences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rescue team surveys the Hotel and Tribute Tower to locate Peeta, Annie and Johanna. Freya and Cailean speak to Lenerok Kifflin from District Two.

* * *

**CAILEAN POV**

* * *

It’s been ten days since the rescue team and I relayed the plan to Katniss and now, the plan was finally underway. Katniss was thrilled that we were finally rescuing her husband after over a month of being without him, but angry that she had no choice but to stay behind. I can’t blame her for wanting to go, but the rescue team would be going in while Carolina and I stayed in the hovercraft to keep an eye on our targets.

But first, everyone sat in the hovercraft just outside of the Capitol in District Seven, while Carolina and I did what we like to believe was the most important part of the rescue: surveying both the Hotel and the Tower. I had a small bug currently in the vent system of the Hotel while Carolina’s navigated the Tribute Tower’s sublevel vent system. I was on the lookout for either Odeon Avisdee or Lenerok Kifflin, but it wasn’t like I had a map of the place. I actually had no idea where in the vent system I was. I knew my target floors were the second and fifth floors, but I somehow ended up on the thirteenth floor. I heard voices on the camera as my bug crawled through the vents, and when I reached the grate, I realised that I must have been in some sort of lounge, because almost all of the Victors were there in the lounge.

“You found them,” Freya said from behind me. “So that’s what that room looks like... I’ve always wondered.”

“Let’s see if our good friend, Lenerok Kifflin, is here,” I said, pulling up Lenerok Kifflin’s file on a small computer beside me. The middle-aged man’s face popped up, with broad eyebrows and an angry look on his face. “Lenerok Kifflin, born on the eighth of October, 2116, age forty-seven. Sorry, forty-six. It’s not October yet... District of origin, District Two. Victor of the 48th Hunger Games. Anything else I should know?”

“Let me talk to him,” Freya told me.

“Sure, if he doesn’t stomp on me,” I said as I moved my little bug out of the vent and onto the wall. I turned the camera and scanned the room for all hidden devices, detecting all sorts of listening equipment and hidden cameras. “I can’t disable the cameras or the microphones or they’ll be suspicious that something is up, however, I can put out a small signal blocker in a six foot radius so that when I do find him, at least no sound will be picked up when we talk.” I turned on the blocker, and then moved the little bug towards the crowd, trying to locate Lenerok Kifflin. I stayed close to the floor, where I was sure there’d be no cameras, and came to a couple of individuals on a couch.

“...for prisoners, we’re actually doing quite well off,” said an adult male voice. “I suppose that’s thanks to you, Len. You certainly have a way with words.”

“My home district has more to do with it than my words, Odeon. Don’t overcredit me,” said the man that was being spoken to. “All I said was that we were promised lives of luxury and that we’d done nothing wrong. We hadn’t participated in the rebellion, just Districts Four, Seven and Twelve,” said the man, who turned out to be the very same Lenerok Kifflin we were looking for.

“I thought District Three was in on it as well?” Odeon Avisdee from District Five said to his companion.

“Just Beetee Latier, but that man was always a crank. I knew something was off about him. I attributed it to nerves since he was old and going back into the Games, but I had  _ no _ idea he was a part of the damn rebellion,” Lenerok replied.

“You sure this bloke’s on our side?” I asked Freya.

“He’s doing it for the cameras,” Freya said suddenly. “Let me talk to him.”

“Should we wait until Odeon Avisdee leaves?” Carolina asked, glancing up from her own project. She was somewhere in the vent system of the sublevels of the Tribute Tower and had yet to locate the targets.

“Coin said either him or Kifflin, so I say we talk to both,” Calum chimed in.

“Very well,” I replied. “Freya, the floor’s all yours.” I handed her the microphone, which she took, then flipped the switch that would turn the microphone of the bug on.

“Lenerok,” Freya said into the microphone, startling both of the men, who looked around.

“Did someone call me?” Lenerok asked, then looked at Odeon. “You heard that, yes? A girl’s voice.”

“Fuck you, you know I’m eighteen,” Freya said to him through the microphone. “I’m behind the couch, and don’t worry. All the hidden mics have been blocked within a six foot radius so keep your voices down.”

“Who the hell...” Lenerok said again, sitting up to look behind the couch.

“It’s me, Lenerok... Freya Deshannon,” Freya told him. “And we don’t have much time to talk. We need to get you and all the other Victors out, but we don’t have enough manpower to break in and rescue all of you. Our rescue team has five people and it’s being sent in to rescue Annie Cresta, Johanna Mason and Peeta Mellark from the Tribute Tower. We’re running reconnaissance in there as well and have found it to be packed with Peacekeepers and we need you to create a diversion of some sort. We want you to encourage the other Victors to escape the Hotel. There’s a lot of you, so many of you might be able to get out. A Capital escapee that we’ve taken in says the best way to get out is through the sewers which can be accessed through the lowest level of the Hotel. Can you do that?”

“Freya, how are you even speaking to me? You died in a train derailment in January,” Lenerok replied, trying to look as if he were speaking to Odeon, who was listening intently.

“Easy, I didn’t. I was badly hurt but I escaped to District Thirteen,” Freya told him. “It’s real, Lenerok, and we want you to come and help us win the rebellion.”

“So that’s why we’re all being locked away here, hm?” Odeon asked.

“We’ve truly got no idea what’s happened since the Games now, what, a month ago? We’ve been locked in the Hotel with no contact with the outside world, only each other,” Lenerok said to Freya quietly. “We can try to plan an escape but we don’t know how to get down to the lowest level. The stairwell doesn’t go past the ground floor.”

“Some of you can use the ducts,” I said, taking the microphone from Freya and speaking. “They’re small, but just large enough for some of the smallest Victors to get through. There’s ducts leading to every room.”

“And cameras, too,” Lenerok replied.

“I can disable those, just for a little while. Are you allowed into the lobby?” I asked, pulling up a map that I’d made of the Hotel while patrolling the vents.

“No,” Odeon replied. “But I do know that there’s a false wall in the stairwell. I fell into it the year Five’s last Victor won.”

“He was probably drunk off his ass,” said Lenerok with amusement.

“As if you weren’t, with two Victors within three years,” Odeon spat back.

“Not important,” Freya hissed at them. “Does the false wall lead to another stairwell?”

“I don’t know, actually... I didn’t get a good look. The peacekeepers stopped me from looking,” Odeon told her.

“We’ll have to hope it does, otherwise we aren’t getting out. Where does the vent system lead?” Lenerok asked us.

“Some of it leads outside of the building, but if you keep going down, it’ll eventually spit you out into the sewer system. I recommend that,” I told the two men.

“I found them!” Carolina exclaimed suddenly. “Sublevel six, a hidden wing. I couldn’t get in through the vent because it doesn’t go in there, but I crawled up to the window and I can see Annie Cresta in there. She’s talking to someone, but I can’t see who. They have to be in there.”

“You’re sure?” Calum asked her.

“I’ve searched the entire building and I’ve seen no sign of them. They have to be in there,” Carolina replied. I turned my head from them and turned my attention back to Lenerok Kifflin and Odeon Avisdee.

“Figure out who can be trusted and make a plan to break them out. It won’t be easy, and you might get attacked, but if you get out, we’ll find you and bring you to Thirteen,” I said to the two men.

“You think getting Mellark out will kick off the rebellion?” Lenerok asked me.

“His wife won’t help us start it without him,” I replied, avoiding using Katniss’s name.

“I see... How much time do we have?” he asked again.

“Is a day too much time?” I said sarcastically.

“I hope that’ll be enough. We’d better get to work then,” Lenerok replied. “How will I know when to start?”

“Hold onto the bug. I’ll deactivate it and reactivate it when it’s time. Put it in your pocket or something, it should go undetected,” I told him.

“We’ll get to work. Maybe I’ll see you on the other side. What’s your name?” Lenerok asked.

“Cailean Fòlais,” I told him.

“Thanks for the tip, Cailean Fòlais, and good luck getting him out,” Lenerok replied, and I deactivated my bug.

“The wheels are in motion. In twenty-four hours, we rescue Peeta,” Freya said.

“Carolina, crawl into the vent and magnetise yourself to stick to the wall, then go into hibernation mode. It’ll still record all sounds and sights when it detects them, but it’ll preserve the battery,” I told her, and she did as she was told.

“Twenty-four hours, Nocturne commences,” said Commander Boggs, who had been quiet while the techies did their work. I was actually surprised he let us do the talking, but perhaps he was clever enough to know that Freya, being the only district resident among us, would be the best option to speak to Kifflin. “Get some rest while you can, it’ll be a long day tomorrow.”

I thought about sending a message to Katniss letting her know that we believed we’d found Peeta, but I knew that any messages coming into Thirteen would be intercepted and sent straight to Coin, and she’d be angry if she knew Katniss knew. We got word to her that the first stage of the plan was set in motion, and now we had to rely on Lenerok Kifflin and Odeon Avisdee to spread the word and plan their escape. Part of me feared that this could get messy, but I hoped for the sake of my sister and my nieces that we could rescue Peeta in one piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Lenerok and Odeon successfully get the other Victors to agree to an escape attempt? Will their attempt even succeed?
> 
> Please review!
> 
> Short chapter (I know, so unlike me) but I wanted to keep this part separate from the actual rescue because, you know, dramatic effect. I’m hoping to have the next chapter up in a couple of days but I do have six classes and lots of homework, but the absolute latest I would expect the chapter will be Friday (but I’m not aiming for that).


	6. Nocturne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rescue plan commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘An t-Aparan Goirid ‘S An t-Aparan Ùr’ — Julie Fowlis

* * *

**THIRD PERSON POV**

* * *

The rescue began at four in the morning. Cailean Fòlais reactivated his bug and contacted Lenerok Kifflin twelve hours before the rescue was to begin, and the pair of them agreed on four in the morning as a good time to begin. Kifflin and Odeon had managed to figure out which Victors were on the side of the rebellion, and which wanted no part of it - Laurel Andrews from Six, Sebastian Creole from Four (who took quite a few beatings from peacekeepers despite having no knowledge about the rebellion), Nova Teller from Two (surprisingly enough, as she’d always seemed very pro-Capitol), Pascasia Mazarinne from Nine, Dravius Pillock from Three, Rufus Ripley from Ten, Ellorah Harpernet from Six, Zosia Verity from Eight, Cytherea Lewes from Eleven, Prodigy Prelius from One, Chase Winters from Four, Aristotle Archer from One, Clarabella Dustin from Five, Glitter Pash from One and Delectra Altra from Five. All others were either too frightened to attempt an escape (Dawn Fodor from Five) or were Capitol sympathisers (all other Victors from Districts One and Two plus Cormac Roche from Three and Oceana Spritz from Four).

Seventeen Victors would be attempting an escape, which was a lot of Victors that would be disappearing all at once. It was decided that Pascasia Mazarinne, Ellorah Harpernet, Zosia Verity, Cytherea Lewes, Prodigy Prelius, Aristotle Archer, Clarabella Dustin, Glitter Pash and Delectra Altra would attempt to escape through the vents, while the remaining Victors would attempt to escape through the basement - approximately half of the escaping Victors were on either team. It would be challenging, but the Victors had less peacekeepers keeping an eye on them than Peeta, Johanna and Annie did in the Tower.

At three o’clock, Cailean activated the bug again to communicate with Kifflin, who was in the lounge with Avisdee, Andrews, Creole, Teller, Pillock, Ripley and Winters, and at a quarter to three, the bug was deactivated again as the rescue team began to move on the Tribute Tower. At four o’clock on the dot, Cailean disabled the cameras to the Hotel, setting the plan in motion. He then waited about ten minutes, completely blind to what the Victors were doing in the Hotel, to flip a switch that sent out a shockwave that disabled the power to the Tribute Tower. The rescue team then converged on the Tribute Tower, making their way to the sublevels fully prepared to battle an army of peacekeepers.

But there was little resistance.

Sure, it helped that a lot of the peacekeepers raced to the Hotel to try and recapture the Victors, but there seemed to be no resistance whatsoever to the rescue team. Freya Deshannon thought that oddly suspicious, but she didn’t let that distract her from the mission at hand. When they arrived at the door to the hidden wing on Sublevel Six, the bug that Carolina had navigated through the Tower was reactivated and crawled down to the keypad that controlled the large metal door. A shockwave was sent through it, and it disabled the locks of the door, allowing the rescue team to slide it up with ease and lock it into place using an extendable pole.

This was where they were met with any resistance. The first bullets flew through the air, one of them passing through the shoulder of Gale Hawthorne, but he didn’t allow it to disable him. The rescue team fired back, Commander Boggs launching a smoke bomb into the room. The rescue team engaged their gas masks, allowing them to pass through without being affected by the ‘knockout gas’, as Cailean had called it when he created it. It didn’t kill whoever managed to get trapped in it, but it did knock them unconscious for quite some time and disorient them when they awoke. It would also erase the most recent memories, so the peacekeepers affected by it would fail to be able to identify the rescue team. What they didn’t know was that the doors to the cells of the three prisoners had been open, as it was a designated ‘torture time’, as Commander Boggs would note in his report. On the floor beside an unconscious Annie Cresta was an unconscious doctor holding a syringe filled with an orange fluid, and on the screen across from her was a distorted film of Finnick Odair calling for the firebombing of District Four, which had joined Districts Twelve and Thirteen in the firebombed districts list only last week.

Freya, being the smallest, was in charge of watching their backs while the rescue team freed Annie Cresta, Johanna Mason and Peeta Mellark, all unconscious from the smoke bomb, and she thought it strange that no peacekeepers were coming to stop them. “The Victors must be giving them hell,” said Freya.

“Good,” said Gale, the strongest of the group, slinging an unconscious Peeta Mellark over his shoulder. With the targets acquired, and Calum grabbing a few vials of the orange liquid that was being used on all of the victims for analysis by Cailean, the rescue team headed back to the rooftop of the tower. They met with some resistance in the stairwell, Freya and Jackson taking charge and taking out the peacekeepers successfully. Once on the rooftop, Freya removed her mask and looked towards the Hotel, where gunshots could be heard.

“Sounds like trouble,” she said.

“No time to help them, they knew they were on their own,” said Commander Boggs.

“Get on! We’ve got trouble coming!” Cailean called from inside the hovercraft, now seated in the pilot’s seat. Freya rushed onto the hovercraft after Boggs and knelt down between Peeta Mellark and Annie Cresta, pulling out a rag and wiping some dirt off of their faces.

“We’ll get you back safe,” she told both of them, even though they were both unconscious. All three victims were very thin, suggesting starvation, and badly beaten and bruised. There were tiny needle marks all around their throats and upper arms, suggesting some sort of chemical torture. “What did they do to you...” Freya whispered quietly to herself.

Cailean Fòlais expertly avoided the oncoming assault from Capitol hovercrafts and lost them somewhere above District Ten. He and Calum had developed a cloaking system to mask their hovercraft using reflective mirrors, basically rendering them invisible from the ground. “Contact has been shut down, we can’t radio to Thirteen,” Cailean announced to Commanders Boggs and Jackson.

“Then they’ll just have to wait until we get back,” said Boggs. It was now well past five in the morning, and the sun was beginning to rise in the east, but the skies were being searched vigorously by the Capitol, so it would only be a matter of time before they were found again.

“We should land, maybe somewhere in the forests of District Seven. We’ll be seen, now that the sun is up,” Carolina announced.

“I agree, but District Seven is a known rebel district. We should land in District Nine. There are forests there, too,” Commander Jackson said.

“District Nine it is, then,” Cailean replied, and so they landed.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

It had been three days, almost, since the rescue team left for the Capitol, and for all three of those days, I didn’t sleep. I kept my daughters close to me while we waited for any news regarding the team or Peeta, but nothing came. On the second day, Finnick came and sat with me, bringing with him another piece of rope. “Keeping my hands busy keeps my mind distracted,” he told me, and so we tied some knots together. Finnick even showed the girls how to tie knots, although neither of them really understood the concept. Maevis just wanted to play with the piece of rope, while Lark got frustrated that she couldn’t tie the knot on the first go.

“It takes practice, little bird,” I told her, taking the rope from her and showing her how to tie a butterfly knot. “This here is called a butterfly knot, we used to use them when attaching sails to boats when I lived in Hebridia.”

“I wanna go there!” Lark exclaimed as she watched me tie the knot.

“Maybe sometime, baby,” I told her, kissing the top of her little blonde head as she sat in my lap.

“Mama, when is Daddy coming?” she asked me, abandoning the knot.

“Soon, we hope. He’ll be here soon,” I told her, glancing up at Finnick. He nodded quietly, continuing to show Maevis how to tie a bowline, but Maevis wasn’t interested. As it got late, we put the girls to bed, and then sat down on the couch together in silence.

“I had a son,” he told me, his expression blank and his eyes cast downward. “His name was Killick... and he was Annie’s. He was an accident, really, but... a happy one. We hid him from the Capitol, though. Pretended Annie was sick for a long time. The Capitol thought Annie was crazy so they didn’t care about her, so it was easy. She stayed in my home on Victors’ Island, my mother took care of her... then she had the baby and he was the most beautiful baby in the world. But no one could ever know about him, so we kept him hidden away.”

“When was he born?” I asked him.

“Last April, 2162. The sixth... thankfully, before the Games and the reaping, otherwise we might have been in trouble,” Finnick told me. “When Four was bombed... so was the Island. I have no idea what happened to my mother or to Killick...”

“I’m sure she got out. Your mother with him... I didn’t think it possible for my own girls, but here they are, safe and sound,” I replied.

“I hope you’re right. I want to ask Coin to let us look for them, but... I don’t know how I could, not after she’s gone through so much trouble to rescue Annie.”

“ _ She _ didn’t go through any trouble, the rescue team did. They’re the ones doing all her dirty work and she isn’t lifting a finger. All she does is say yes or no to whatever’s put in front of her. I don’t call that a leader.”

“You don’t think she’s a good leader?”

“I know she isn’t. I don’t believe she has the right reasons for fighting back against Snow and the Capitol. I don’t think she should be in charge of the rebellion.”

“Who do you think should be in charge?” I shrugged.

“The districts,” I told him. “Thirteen was forced underground by the Capitol, but they never had to send two of their children to die every year for the last seventy-eight years. Why should Thirteen be the leading district?”

“...it shouldn’t be.”

“No, it shouldn’t.”

“But it is.”

“I had that attitude for four years, Finnick,” I told him, looking at him. “Don’t lose hope yet... just remember what reasons you’re fighting for. For Annie, for Killick, for District Four, and for the freedom of the future generation.” He fell silent again, and within the hour, we were back to tying knots.

Early the following morning, we learned that there was an attempt to escape by the Victors in the Capitol, but of course, it wasn’t stated as such. It was said by the Capitol that the Victors were kidnapped by rebels, and that several of them were killed as they tried to fight for their lives. Those to be remembered were flashed across the screen with their portraits and their district, the Capitol anthem playing as their faces flashed on the screen:

NOVA TELLER - DISTRICT TWO

SEBASTIAN CREOLE - DISTRICT FOUR

DELECTRA ALTRA - DISTRICT FIVE

LAUREL ANDREWS - DISTRICT SIX

It was sad to see that so many of them had died, but I hardly knew any of them. Delectra Altra had really been the only one of those Victors I knew anything about, considering she’d won the 76th Games. Three of the Victors had also been captured and accused of aiding the rebels in kidnapping the other Victors, claiming that ‘they hadn’t wanted to leave, and they took away their freedom’. Those three Victors were Dawn Fodor of District Five, Oceana Spritz of District Four, and Glitter Pash of District One. My heart sank at the mention of Glitter’s name, hoping that she could use her district’s connection to the Capitol to save her life, but a part of me knew that that wouldn’t be possible. The other nine Victors were nowhere to be found, and Panem was put on high alert to find these Victors and help ‘bring them back to safety’. It was a massive load of shit.

As the third day crept closer, Finnick and I couldn’t stand to be around other people, so we left Mellie watching Maevis and Lark and we got permission to go outside, and we laid our backs on the ground with our eyes turned to the sky. “I remember when my father taught me to use the stars as a map when sailing... I was four years old when he first started teaching me,” I said.

“We didn’t learn that until we were eight, and we learned it in school,” Finnick replied. “My father taught me a little bit, though, too... before he died in a shipwreck.”

“What happened?” I asked him, and he shrugged.

“Nobody really knows. He was a fisherman, though, and one day, his ship went out and... never came back. No one has seen or heard from anyone on that ship ever since. I was thirteen at the time. Some debris from the ship washed up on the shore, so we know what happened. It’s a risk we took, going out on the ocean.”

“I’m sorry to hear... I know what it’s like to not know what really happened to your family...”

“You know now.”

“Sort of. I know what happened to my two brothers and my father, but not my other brothers, or my sister, or my mother... No one does, really. They were never found.” Finnick nodded, then looked up at the sky. “There’s the North Star, always due north... My father always said that so long as you can find Polaris, you can find your way home.”

“He must have been a smart guy,” Finnick replied. We heard the sound of a metal door opening and footsteps follow, and we both looked up to see Haymitch join us.

“Coin says hour’s up. Ya gotta come back inside,” he said. With a sigh, Finnick and I got up and returned inside, instead opting to go down to a rather large room with artificially grown trees and plants, where hummingbirds flitted about. There was also a small artificial creek, with some small fish swimming about, and I sat at its edge and watched those little fish swim in the stream. Behind me, Finnick was back to tying knots. It must have been nearing midnight, but neither of us were brave enough to even try to sleep. Not that we could, really. We feared for the lives of Peeta and Annie, wondering if we were better off never knowing what ultimately happened to them. Not a word passed between Finnick and I - not until Haymitch joined us again.

“Let me guess, Coin doesn’t want us here and wants us to return to our rooms?” I asked him.

“No,” Haymitch told me. “They’re back.”

I could have sworn my heart stopped in that moment. The rescue team had returned, and the hopeful look in Haymitch’s eye told me that Peeta was with them, and was very much alive. I looked at Finnick, who froze at the mention of Annie also returning, and before I knew it, the pair of us broke out into a run towards the hospital. When we arrived, it was chaos as doctors and nurses ran about moving patients around to accommodate for the three newly rescued prisoners, who were likely in ill health. Finnick and I exchanged a look as we made our way to the back of the hospital, where many of the doctors were congregated. I saw my brother, Calum, who waved cheekily at me and pointed towards the back while a nurse tended to him. As Finnick and I made our way to the back of the hospital, my ears picked up a sickly groan, and when my eyes looked to the source, they fell on a gaunt, bald and terrifyingly pale Johanna Mason, who was being tended to by several doctors.

“Johanna,” I said, and her sickly eyes followed my voice. Her body seemed too tired and weak to move, but hatred boiled in her eyes. I knew the girl didn’t like me, but that strange animalistic look concerned me.

“Annie!” I heard Finnick call, and I turned to see him run to a writhing and terrified-looking Annie Cresta on a gurney, who screamed in terror as Finnick approached her.

“No! No! Leave me alone! Leave me alone, you monster!” she cried in Gàidhlig, seemingly terrified of Finnick.

“Annie, it’s me! Finnick!” Finnick said, stopping a good four feet from her bedside while she stared at him with wide, horrified eyes.

“No! Go away!” she cried again in Gàidhlig, but Finnick didn’t understand her.

“Annie,” I said, approaching her. “Calm down, dear friend. Calm down!” I told her in Gàidhlig, which seemed to settle her a little bit.

“Help me! Help me! Finnick Odair, he’s a monster! He destroyed my home and he killed my child!” Annie said to me in a rush, still in our shared native language.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I told her, taking her hand, and then I looked at Finnick. “Something’s not right. I’m sorry, but you’re scaring her,” I told him in English.

“But why? Annie, I love you!” Finnick said to his love, taking a step closer, which only made Annie scream even louder.

“Annie,” I said, giving her hand a squeeze. “Do you know any Hebridean songs? Like maybe ‘An t-Aparan Goirid’?” Her frightened grey eyes were trained on Finnick despite me speaking beside her, and I let out a sigh, deciding to sing the song anyway.

_ “An t-aparan goirid ‘s an t-aparan ùr, _

_ An t-aparan goirid nach ruig ach a’ glùin, _

_ ‘S nuair bha mi òg ‘s mi furast’ rim lùb’, _

_ ‘S e dh’fhàg mi fo leòn ach an t-aparan ùr...” _

Annie froze when I sang the familiar song and she looked at me, squeezing my hands tightly as the memory from her past registered on her face. It was obvious that her memories had been altered, otherwise she wouldn’t have been so terrified of Finnick, and that only made me fear what had happened to Peeta. Perhaps it happened to Johanna, too, but Johanna had no loyalties to me, and Annie wasn’t very strong. Peeta was so strong, and he had a heart of gold. But if Snow was willing to go this far to hurt Finnick, then what would he do to me? Finnick took the moment of distraction to leave from Annie’s sight, but he was just outside of her room. Annie was then sedated so that she could be properly evaluated without being terrified, and I left the room to find Finnick.

“She’s afraid of me...” he said, surprising me when I exited Annie’s room.

“It’s not her fault... something was done to her...” I told him.

“He’ll pay for this. Snow... he’ll pay for what he’s done to my Annie,” he replied, fury laced in his voice.

“Finnick,” I said when he got up to leave, but he didn’t turn around to answer me. Instead, he went back to his own bed in the hospital, making sure the door was closed behind him. With a sigh, I then sought out a doctor who might know where Peeta was, but after the reaction that Annie had to seeing Finnick, I almost feared the reaction that Peeta would have to seeing me. I didn’t think I could handle Peeta being afraid of me, or worse, hating me, but I needed to at least see him, to know that he was alive. I was told that Peeta was located in a room further in the back and directed straight to it, and standing outside of the room was a familiar face that I had continued to question the morals of. “Gale,” I said when I saw him. He looked pretty bad off, but evidently, he’d just been shot through the shoulder and would make a solid recovery. “Thank you...” I didn’t know what else to say to him. He’d killed my child and said some pretty vile things to me, but he still saved Peeta, and for that, I was grateful.

“Consider my debt to him paid,” Gale replied, which confused me a little. What debt did Gale have to Peeta?

“Elaborate on that later. Is he...” I said, glancing nervously towards the door.

“Still unconscious. He’s pretty thin. Probably never was that thin in his life, being a merchant,” Gale replied.

“Gale, Twelve is gone. The Seam-Merchant divide is gone with it. Now, he’s just Peeta. Not a merchant, not a District Twelve Victor,” I told him, but he shook his head.

“Just go in and see him,” he replied, looking away from me. I made a mental note to try to squeeze more information out of him later, or to maybe ask Cailean or Calum if they knew anything, and headed towards the door. My stomach did backflips while I attempted to shake off any nerves I had. This was Peeta, my husband. I loved him very much and I hadn’t seen him in over a month. I had no reason to be nervous, other than the fact that he might react negatively to my presence like Annie had to Finnick. With a final sigh, I opened the door, gasping at the sight that met me.

Lying on an examination bed in the middle of the room was my Peeta, as pale and as skinny as Johanna practically, his normally mussed honey golden curls matted and dirty, all of the definition from his once strong arms now gone. He was still unconscious, so his eyes were closed and his head lay straight while the doctors examined him. I closed my hand over my mouth as my eyes fought off tears and I stepped into the room, afraid that if I touched him, he would break. “Excuse me, next of kin only,” said one of the doctors.

“H-he’s my husband,” I muttered shakily. “Please, can I... can I see him?”

“We’ve assessed that there is no serious injury that poses a threat to life,” the doctor who spoke to me said to his team. “We can give them some privacy.” The team of doctors and nurses left the room, closing the door behind them and leaving me alone with Peeta. There was, however, someone watching through the window to make sure nothing bad happened to me if Peeta shared a similar reaction to Annie, so at least I knew I wasn’t fully alone with him, just in case. I took a couple of steps closer to him, feeling the urge to cry get stronger and stronger with each step I took. My poor, sweet Peeta didn’t deserve any of this... He was starved, beaten and who knew what had been done to his mental state? He stirred just a little, the monitor telling of a slight increase in his heart rate, and I closed the distance between his bed and myself, standing beside him.

“Peeta,” I whispered shakily, my hand finding its way to lightly touch his face. He stirred again, and slowly, his eyelids opened, his beautiful sky blue eyes groggily trying to make sense of what was in front of him. When they fell on me, I gave him the best smile I could possibly give him. His expression didn’t change, not to fear or to anger, but not to love, either. “Peeta... Oh, my sweet Peeta...” A quiet groan emanated from his throat as his lips moved just a little to try to speak, but no words came out. “Shh... You’ve just woken up, my love. Give yourself a moment for the rest of your body to catch up,” I told him quietly, my thumb stroking his cheek.

“Y-you...” he muttered weakly, his eyes closing as he directed the strength from keeping them open to his throat to speak. “Y-ou’re... s-safe...”

“I am safe, Peeta... and so are you now. We’re both safe, far away from the Capitol and the Games,” I told him, taking that moment to wipe a tear from my eye. His eyes opened again, looking a little bit stronger than they were before.

“Wh-where... are... we?” he asked me, his head tilting slightly towards me.

“District Thirteen,” I told him. “It’s real, my love... and we’re safe here.” Slowly, but surely, he raised his own weak and bony hand to cover mine, his eyes closing again as he leaned into my palm.

“Katniss...” he said quietly, and I smiled as he spoke my name.

“Yes, my love?” I asked him.

“S-sorry I’m... late... it’s... p-past mid...night,” he replied, and then he gave me a weakened cheeky grin. I couldn’t help but laugh, and then I took his face in both of my hands and kissed him for the first time in over a month. He was okay... malnourished and abused, but okay. Snow hadn’t damaged him, or at least, not successfully, and my Peeta was exactly as he was, or so I’d hoped. Kissing him was exactly like it had been, his lips still warm and sweet, if not a little chapped. I was so relieved that my Peeta was okay.

“I love you,” I told him when I broke from our kiss, and he smiled.

“I love... you, too,” he replied. “The girls...”

“They’re safe. They’re here, and so are Prim and your mother. We have them to thank for getting our girls out safely,” I told him.

“And the rest?” I froze for a moment, then brushed back his hair to kiss his forehead.

“I’ll tell you more about everything when you’ve had a bit of rest. I’m just... I'm so glad you’re all right,” I said, smiling as more tears stung my eyes. I kissed him again, then pulled a stool closer and sat down on it so that I could rest my head on his chest to hear his heartbeat. I felt him raise a shaky hand and bury it in my hair, and then I felt his warm lips on my forehead.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” he whispered to me. “I had no idea... They told me you were taken by the rebels, but... they didn’t tell me if you were alive or...”

“None of that matters now, Peeta,” I told him, covering his hand nearest to me with my own. “We’re together now, and everything is going to be okay.” I brought his hand to my lips to kiss it, but he didn’t say another word. We were left alone for about an hour before the medical team returned and tried to kick me out, but I wouldn’t let them, refusing to leave Peeta’s side, so they simply worked around me. That night, when the exams were finally finished, I curled up beside my Peeta on the bed and he wrapped his arm around me, and with my head on his chest, we fell asleep together, finally. After more than a month separated, I could finally sleep peacefully, knowing that my Peeta was safe beside me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What happened to the other nine Victors? Does something seem off with the three prisoners who were returned?
> 
> Please review!


	7. Venomous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is wrong with the victims, and Katniss learns exactly what. Katniss is determined to fix it.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

Everything seemed perfect for the first two days that Peeta was safe in District Thirteen, except for the fact that he spaced out and seemed a bit... out of it, for lack of a better word. When we woke up after our first night of being together after his rescue, I had to leave him to tend to the girls, promising him that he would see them soon when the medical team tending to him cleared him for any infectious illnesses or infections. I kissed him goodbye, only for an hour or so, and he didn’t seem to put himself fully into the kiss, but when I came back, he smiled and reached for me to take his hand.

He had yet to see his mother, but like me when I first arrived, he was only allowed one visitor for a few days, and that one visitor would be me. I stayed with him for the entire day, even taking my meals with him, while we talked and held each other and kissed to make up for lost time. I told him about how terrified I had been not knowing what had happened to him and how I had fought tooth and nail to get him rescued as soon as possible, and he didn’t blame me for the rescue taking so long. He’d been in the Capitol for a total of five weeks - five weeks too long - and I knew there would be lasting damage from all of that time. He wouldn’t talk about it, though, and I wouldn’t force him, but I knew it would surface eventually.

On the second day, I needed to check on the girls and Mellie again, so I got up to leave, but not without kissing him goodbye. “Please don’t leave,” he whispered to me, seemingly a little nervous.

“My love, I have to check on our daughters but I’ll be back soon, I promise! Only an hour, that’s all I’ll be gone for,” I told him, holding the hand that had grabbed mine and bringing it to my lips to kiss it. “I love you, okay, Peeta?” He nodded, but he still wouldn’t let go of my hand, so I bent down to kiss him on the lips, brushing his hair back when I pulled away and giving him a smile. “Just one hour, my love.”

“J-just an hour,” he repeated. I kissed him one more time before I made my way to the door. I stopped and turned to face him, his blue eyes trained on me, before I left the room. I returned to my compartment, where Mellie and the girls were playing on the floor together with a couple of dolls, and when I opened the door, my two daughters got up and ran to me.

“Hello, my darlings!” I exclaimed, kneeling down to their level and pulling them both into my arms.

“Where's Daddy? I want Daddy!” Lark exclaimed. She knew her father was near and that I had been with him, but only that he wasn’t well and couldn’t have visitors.

“You can’t see him right now, little bird. He’s not feeling well, but when he is, you can see him! He wants to see you both so badly,” I told my daughters.

“How is he? Peeta,” Mellie asked me, standing in the middle of the room.

“All right. A little tired, maybe, but after what he went through, I can’t blame him,” I told her, standing up while carrying both of my daughters. “I’m thinking he’ll be able to have other visitors soon.”

“Does he know? About...” Mellie asked, referring to her husband and sons, and I shook my head.

“No, not yet. I thought it better coming from you, since you were there and you’re his mother. I’ve just been focusing on his recovery,” I replied. For the next forty minutes or so, I sat in the room with my daughters and mother-in-law updating Mellie on Peeta’s condition and listening to my daughters play with their dolls when there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get that,” I said, standing up and answering the door, surprised to see Haymitch looking a bit worse for wear on the other side. “Haymitch...”

“There’s been an incident. You gotta come right away,” he told me. I glanced back at Mellie, who had a worried expression on her face, before I followed Haymitch to wherever he was leading me. It was down a separate corridor in the hospital, through a door I hadn’t been in before. Evidently, it was where the operating rooms were, and Haymitch was leading me to one where screams were echoing off the walls - the screams of a man in anguish. I stopped him first, unable to carry on without knowing what I was walking into.

“Haymitch, what happened? Who is that?” I asked him, but I already knew the answer at least to my second question. Haymitch let out a sigh.

“When you left the boy this mornin’ - and don’t feel bad, you got children you gotta look after - Coin ordered for him to be... interrogated. She wanted to know if he knew any Capitol secrets, anythin’ that could benefit her,” he began.

“Without asking me?” I said. “I’m his bloody medical proxy, I should have been asked before anything was done to him!”

“Coin’s above the law here. Hell, she  _ is _ the law,” Haymitch replied.

“Oh, so that means she can do whatever the hell she wants?” I snapped. “What happened to him? Haymitch, what did they do to him?”

“They interrogated him, asked him questions... then he just... started flippin’ out, sayin’ all kinds of things like the rebellion is bad and the districts don’t know what’s best for ‘em... and he... he was sayin’ things about you, too,” he said solemnly, and my stomach dropped.

“Wh... what did he say?” I asked.

“That you were an anarchist, startin’ a war that nobody wanted... then he tried to choke the life out of a guard and now he’s restrained there in that room,” he told me.

“I need to see him,” I said, pushing past him and rushing towards the room.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s a good idea-”

“I don’t care what you think, I need to see him,” I spat at him, pushing through the doors and stopping when I saw the scene before me. Peeta was strapped down to a bed thrashing and shouting at everyone who was around him, looking angry and hateful, and then his eyes fell on me - they were a deep black colour, no longer that sweet sky blue that I knew and loved so well. “Peeta...”

“ _ You! _ ” Peeta hissed at me. “ _ You _ ordered the bombing on Twelve!  _ You _ killed my family!  _ You _ did all of this, you stupid  _ mutt _ !” Whoever interrogated Peeta must have told him, and that must have triggered this attack.

“Peeta, I didn’t do any of that! How could you say that?” I asked him.

“Yes you did! I saw the footage! You’re a liar! Everything you’ve done has been nothing but a lie!” he spat back at me, and I didn’t answer him - couldn’t answer him. Snow had damaged him after all, and I was angry. Angry at Snow, at Coin for having Peeta interrogated, at myself knowing that I am the reason Peeta was tortured so much...

“Sedate him,” I told the medical staff that was surrounding him rather neutrally, then I turned and walked out of the room.

“Go ahead and run, you mutt! Back to whatever hellhole you spawned from!” I heard Peeta shout at me, and I slipped into the gallery to watch as his screams subsided and he was sedated.

“He’s not the only one who got worse,” I heard Cailean say beside me, and I lifted my head to look at him. “Johanna Mason - well, she’s been restrained since day one, but an arm got free and she scratched the throat of a nurse. Didn’t do enough damage, but the scratches were pretty bad. Annie Cresta, she had to be restrained today, too. She bit a doctor. Now Peeta’s reacting badly? I don’t understand what could have caused such a delayed reaction...”

“What is this? A delayed reaction to what?” I asked my brother.

“It’s called hijacking, Katniss. They were injected with tracker jacker venom... Dad, before the Pox outbreak, was studying hijacking victims and how to treat them. We’ve had them before, much worse than Peeta, Annie and Johanna... they all died, though. No one’s survived a hijacking,” he told me.

“They will. I won’t have it any other way,” I told him firmly.

“I’ll have to try and find whatever notes Dad took on them... I ordered blood tests from each of them and I’ll be taking a look at the vial of what I believe is tracker jacker venom that Calum grabbed from the Capitol.”

“Do you think we can cure them?”

“I don’t know... but we can at least try. We need to get Coin’s permission first, though.”

“You think she’ll give it to us?”

“Not a chance. She thinks hijacking victims are a lost cause because no one’s ever survived it. She’ll likely consider this a waste of resources.”

“Then we’ll ask, get denied, and work on it anyway under the guise of a new kind of medicine. One you’ve already been granted permission to work on.”

“I’ve got a few of those.”

“Excellent. You get to the lab, then. Start looking at the venom, I’ll go and get permission.” I’d just about had it with President Coin. First she dissolves my marriage because she assumed it was Capitol-borne, then she freezes me out of the rescue of my own husband. Now, she had Peeta interrogated when I couldn’t be there to stop her, and I knew she would deny my request to develop a treatment - or even a cure - for hijacking. When I arrived at the Command Room, I was stopped by a guard who stood outside of it. “I need to speak to President Coin,” I told him firmly.

“Do you have a scheduled appointment?” asked the guard, referring to a printed schedule on my arm. In District Thirteen, every morning, the people would go to a device that would print their daily schedule on their arms that would tell them what to do for the day - at the end of the day, it would wash off in the shower.

“Don’t need one. We have an agreement and it’s time to honour it,” I told him. The guard eyed me suspiciously, then went into the Command Room to speak to Coin. He came out a minute or so later, keeping the door open for me.

“President Coin will see you now,” said the guard, and I entered the room. As soon as the door closed, President Coin stood and spoke to me.

“Mrs. Mellark, I’m glad you came. I was just about to summon you-”

“How dare you? You waited until I was gone so you could take my husband and interrogate him without asking me! And now look at what you’ve done to him!” I snapped at her, and her face turned into a fierce scowl.

“Mr. Mellark has been hijacked. There is nothing more that can be done for him,” she told me firmly.

“No, you just don’t  _ want _ anything to be done for him. You never cared about him or what could happen to him, you just wanted to squeeze information out of him so you could benefit from his suffering,” I told her.

“No hijacking victim has ever survived a hijacking before, Mrs. Mellark, and that isn’t going to start now. The victims are a lost cause. Give up. You have work to do, now that I have held up my end of the bargain.”

“You didn’t,” I replied. “You told me you would bring Peeta back. That man... he isn’t Peeta. I thought he was, but whatever the Capitol did to him, this... hijacking... it’s stripped him of everything he is and ever was.”

“Mrs. Mellark-”

“I’m not finished!” She glared at me. “Cailean told me that my father was trying to find a cure for hijacking. He believed it to be possible, and if he believed it to be possible, then it  _ is _ possible. My father never wasted time on the impossible.”

“Dòmhnall Fòlais was a clever man, but he was a dreamer. Dreamers don’t thrive here. Now, our agreement was that if we brought back Peeta Mellark, you would be our Mockingjay. Peeta Mellark has been rescued, so it’s time you upheld your end of the agreement.”

“Give me two weeks to at least try to find a cure. How long did hijacking victims survive on average, would you say? I’m guessing not very long. If I can help my brother develop a cure based on my father’s notes, maybe they can be saved!”

“I’ve already told you that hijacking victims are a lost cause. I do not bargain, Mrs. Mellark.”

“Because you don’t care about anyone but yourself, I get that. I used to be like that once. But I’m not now, thanks to Peeta. I love Peeta, and I can’t focus or work if I know he’s unwell and a danger to himself. If you want me to be the face of the rebellion, don’t you want me at my best? If I can’t focus, I’ll look unconvincing, and then the remaining districts will never listen to you.” Not that they would, considering Coin was hiding away here safe from the reaping and the Games for seventy-eight years. She scowled at me, considering my words, and then she sat back down.

“One week, and then, regardless of if you succeed or not, you will do what you’re told,” Coin told me firmly. I took note of the word ‘told’, compared to the word ‘asked’. It reminded me of the words Snow used on me once... “ _ You will have a grand Capitol wedding.” “There will be more children.” “You have two years to produce another child.” _ I think the one that stuck out the most to me, however, was  _ “I do not bargain.” _ Coin had literally just said those exact words to me.

“Okay,” I said in response, storing my thoughts in the back of my mind. “One week.” With that said, I turned and I left the Command Room, moving as quickly as I could on my feet to carry me to the lab, where Cailean was likely waiting for me.

“One week?” he exclaimed when I told him. “Katniss, it took a whole  _ year _ to develop the Pox vaccine, and it wasn’t infallible! We can’t do that in a week! And most illnesses can often take  _ many _ years to develop a vaccine for!”

“Tracker jacker venom isn’t an illness that you catch, Cailean, it’s a venom. How long does it take to develop an antivenom?”

“At minimum, a year, but likely closer to two.” I let out a sigh, determined to win this battle of wits against President Coin.

“Then we’ll just have to work quickly. Dad worked out some of the kinks, didn’t he? Hadn’t he already started?”

“He had a basic idea, yes, but what he didn’t realise is... Katniss, this venom they were injected with... it doesn’t work like a venom. At least, not  _ just _ a venom. It works like a virus, too. One that can’t be passed from host to host. I examined the venom on a slide and discovered that it’s made up of scientifically engineered little organisms that attack the cells. It’s activated by adrenaline, which explains why it was inactive in Peeta until he was interrogated. The increased stress and fear from the interrogation released adrenaline into his blood which triggered the venom to sort of kick in and go into fight or flight mode. It also seemed to have awakened memories from his subconscious... Well, they’re not ‘memories’, they’re falsely implanted ‘memories’. Artificial.”

“That’s a psychological thing, then. That can be addressed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. Is the venom expelled at all?”

“No. Like the HIV virus, this one stays in the blood except it can’t pass from person to person. It’s been specifically engineered to attack the individual’s cells. So the venom injected into Peeta couldn’t be used on Annie, the venom injected into Annie couldn’t be used on Johanna, and so on. It replicates very quickly and can worsen over time... which is why hijacking victims die. It sends their brain into overload and it shuts down. They become essentially brain dead, and then their organs shut down.”

“So what can we do? Isn’t there something given for HIV to slow the replication?” He raised an eyebrow in thought.

“Antiretrovirals... But it would have to be developed specifically for this artificial virus-like organism.”

“Let’s start there, then. Do them both at the same time. We have the formula for the antiretroviral, so all we have to do is substitute the HIV virus with the venom virus.”

“These things take time.”

“We haven’t got time.”

“It’s practically impossible.”

“Would Dad have said that, if he were here?” Cailean froze for a moment when I threw that at him, and then he sighed and shook his head.

“No, he wouldn’t have... We’ll try, Katniss, but it means you and I are going to have a very sleep-deprived week.”

“I won’t be sleeping anyway,” I told him, and we got to work. Cailean got to work substituting the HIV virus in the antiretrovirals first while I started looking at my father’s notes. I knew almost nothing about developing a vaccine, but thankfully, there were books that I could read and study. So for six hours, while Cailean tested the antiretroviral on a sample of Annie’s blood, since the vial of venom we had was meant for Annie, I read up on vaccine development.

“It worked,” he said after examining a sample of Annie’s blood he’d tested the antiretroviral on under a microscope. It was probably the fifth test he’d done. “The venom virus is slowing down replication... Should I make more and have it sent to the hospital?”

“Absolutely. Make sure it’s synthesised exactly to Annie’s blood type, which is B-.”

“What are you, an expert in vaccine development now?” my brother teased me.

“Working on it. Still have a lot of reading to do, but I have a pretty good idea,” I told him back. The venom antiretroviral was ready within two hours after that, and Cailean had several doses sent off to the hospital.

“We might not see improvement right away. Peeta, Annie and Johanna have a lot more blood than what was on that slide, and we don’t have a vial of antivenom meant for Peeta and Johanna. It could take weeks before we see a noticeable change.”

“I don’t have weeks, I have  _ one _ .”

“I’ll call down to the hospital and have them up the dosage then, but don’t be angry if they don’t show improvement right away.”

“I won’t be. I’m realistic, but we need to at least start trying to separate the venom from Peeta and Johanna’s blood so we can work on a vaccine.”

“I’ll do that, then. You call down to the hospital.” At around five in the morning the following day, Cailean had managed to separate the venom virus from a vial of Peeta’s blood, although it had taken several hours. While he was doing that, I had worked out a formula for determining how much venom Peeta, Johanna and Annie had in their systems, and how much it would have taken to kill them.

“According to a blood sample taken at four this morning from each of them, Johanna has about 17.23% of active virus in her blood, Peeta has 15.37%. Annie’s is at 16.4%, which, last sample, she had 15.89%, meaning that antiretroviral has, indeed, worked,” I said to Cailean from the whiteboard.

“What’s the maximum threshold before total organ failure?” he asked me as he scribbled some notes down on a notepad.

“37%, but it varies depending on the size of the victim. Smaller victims like Annie had a threshold closer to 35, and larger victims were closer to 40, but the average was 37%,” I said a bit nervously.

“Well, if Annie’s showing viral replication slowdown already within hours of being given an antiretroviral, then we’ll develop it to suit Johanna and Peeta and get them started on that as soon as possible. How much did they have when we took blood the first time?”

“According to the paperwork... 14.97% for Johanna, 13.83% for Peeta and 15.89% for Annie,” I told him. “That’s an increase of 2.26% for Johanna, 1.54% for Peeta and a 0.51% increase for Annie over the course of twenty hours.”

“That likely means Johanna was dosed first, Annie second and then Peeta third. The antiretrovirals have reduced the percentage of increase by about 22.56%. That’s good. That’s really good,” Cailean replied. “I’ll develop the antiretroviral for Peeta. Will you start the separation of the virus from Johanna’s blood?” I nodded, and we got to work. By eight in the morning, both the virus had been separated from Johanna’s blood (it was easier to do, now that Cailean knew how) and Peeta’s antiretroviral had been made, and by eleven, all three victims were given antiretrovirals made specific to them. “Right, now for the hard part. Making the actual vaccine. Katniss, we have six days to make it. You know this might not be possible, right?”

“I’d like to not think that way,” I told him. “While you were at the hospital, I had a thought. This venom, it’s both a virus and a venom. A toxin and an illness. Does that mean we have to target both aspects of it?”

“Likely. The virus seems to produce the toxins, which is strange for a virus because viruses are technically nonliving, and those toxins fuel the viruses. So they produce and consume the toxins. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“Alcohol is a toxin and it’s eliminated by the liver and expelled in the urine. Can we target the toxin and expel it from the body?”

“We can certainly try. I believe that was the method Dad was trying to approach, too. Luckily for us, he did most of the guesswork. He had the beginnings of a basic formula for the potential vaccine. I found it earlier, when you were checking on your daughters.” I glanced up at him.

“Really?”

“Really. That already eliminates  _ months _ of development time. I still don’t think we’ll be able to finish it in a week, but... with your determination... we might get pretty close. I didn’t imagine we’d be able to isolate the venom virus or even slow down its replication in the victims. I wouldn’t have thought of that, you did.”

“Snow’s not taking my husband away from me. I’ll stop at nothing to make him better,” I told my brother, turning back to the book in front of me.

“Speaking of your husband... he was asking for you... I told him you were busy, but he really wanted to see you,” Cailean replied, leaning up against the table.

“Was he angry?” I asked him, and he shook his head.

“No... seemed pretty calm, actually. Annie freaked out as soon as I tried to inject her with the antiretroviral. She had to be given morphling to calm down, but Peeta seems relatively stable. I don’t know if maybe his body responds differently to the virus or if he’s stronger than the other two or if it’s because he has less of the virus in his system, but he seemed the most normal, albeit, a little confused.” I lifted my head and nodded gently, then looked back at the book.

“I’ll see him later... I really need to finish reading this,” I replied.

“You’ve read six textbooks in just over twenty-four hours, Katniss, while actively taking notes. I’ll work on the formula. You go and see your husband,” Cailean told me, and I sighed.

“I don’t know if I can stand seeing him like that... it’ll tear me apart.”

“But he needs you. I spoke to Haymitch, too, when I was there... Do you think Peeta would hesitate to see you if you were in his place?” I huffed and rolled my eyes.

“Did Haymitch tell you to say that?” I hissed, and then I stood. “Fine, I’ll go and see him, but if I come back an inconsolable mess, then it’s your fault.”

“I accept full responsibility for that,” Cailean replied, and I rolled my eyes again and left the lab. I didn’t know the extent of the dark circles under my eyes, but Haymitch noticed it when I arrived at the hospital.

“Ain’t sleepin’?” he asked me.

“Been busy,” I replied.

“I know, good job on the medicine. Cailean said it was your idea to use a medicine to slow down whatever’s in ‘em,” Haymitch told me.

“Antiretrovirals, it slows down the replication of the virus.”

“Is that what’s in ‘em?” I nodded. “Is it contagious?”

“No, it’s artificially synthesised to only affect their DNA and blood cells. It’s not advanced enough to mutate and evidently, it feeds off of its own poison that it produces. Pretty shitty design for something you want to use as a weapon. It basically makes itself stronger until it reaches the maximum threshold the human body can handle and kills the host.” Haymitch’s eyes widened, seemingly afraid. “I’m confident that we’ll find a cure in time, well before that even happens. I had an idea that, apparently, my father had had, too, when he was trying to find a cure for hijacking. We’re working off of his notes.”

“So that’s what’s in them bugs? A virus? They inject a virus into you?”

“It’s actually a little different... What’s in the tracker jackers is just the toxin. What’s in the stuff they’ve been injected with is a modified form of it. It’s a virus that produces the same toxin found in tracker jacker venom, so that it doesn’t flush out of the system.”

“That’s some scary shit...” Haymitch shook his head. “I don’t understand that sciencey shit. The boy’s been askin’ for ya.”

“I heard.”

“You gonna go in and see him?”

“Is that such a good idea? He insulted me the last time he saw me.”

“He’s different now. Since he got that medicine, now he’s just confused about a lotta things.”

“That’s an unusually fast response time for an antiretroviral. Perhaps the toxins are inactive?”

“Sure, whatever that means. It was your cousin’s idea to keep ‘em under a bit of morphling to keep ‘em calm.”

“Maybe the morphling slows it down...” I let out a sigh. “All right, I’ll go see him.”

“You’re just in time, too. They were just about to start a therapy session for him.”

“A therapy session?”

“The boy apparently was shown a lotta fake scenarios in the Capitol, which they told him actually happened. We’re gonna try it in reverse, show him what actually happened and see what happens.”

“What if that induces another episode?” Haymitch shrugged.

“We’ll find out, won’t we? We don’t know what to do with this, same as you do. Now, why are ya still out here talkin’ to me? Your boy’s in there waitin’ for ya.” I nodded, then turned to head into the room, where Peeta was being kept. When I entered, a nurse glanced up at me and then began to leave, closing the door behind her. Peeta, looking a bit groggy from the morphling, glanced up at me.

“It’s about time you finally came by,” he said.

“You wanted me to?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Haymitch said you loved me. When you love someone, usually, you’re there for them when they’re sick. I’m sick, apparently, and you haven’t been here. Doesn’t sound like love to me,” Peeta replied.

“You know what does sound like love? I’ve just spent the last twenty-six hours teaching myself biochemistry, pathology and how to develop a vaccine.”

“For tracker jacker venom.”

“It’s more than just venom, Peeta. It’s a virus, too. That’s why it didn’t just leave your system after a couple of days like it had in the first arena.” He looked away from me, down at the restraints that kept him strapped to the bed.

“You’re developing it?”

“Well, me and Cailean, yes. My brother... They’re alive, Peeta. Both him and Calum,” I told him. I had once told him about my family that I had lost in the attack when we first came to Panem.

“At least you have brothers still,” he spat back at me.

“That I thought were dead for the last twelve years... I really am sorry, Peeta, about your brothers...”

“No you’re not. You did it to them. You killed them.”

“No I didn’t. I did not order the bombing on District Twelve, Snow did.”

“Snow says everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie.”

“Yeah? Everything that comes out of  _ his  _ mouth is a lie. Who are you going to believe? The man that sent you to die in the Hunger Games or the woman you’ve been married to for four years?” He looked away again, silent as he tried to process this information.

“That marriage was fake,” he said after a moment.

“No it wasn’t. We were married in the backyard of my home in Victors’ Village because we wanted to, not because we had to.”

“No, we had to, because you were pregnant.”

“I was, yes, and that certainly rushed things for us... but we wanted to get married. I told you that I didn’t want to be without you anymore, and that I wanted to get married, the day we found out that I was pregnant. And then you... you shushed me and got down on one knee and proposed to me, and we were married that Sunday. It was the thirtieth of September, 2159.”

“I remember you saying it was because of the baby.”

“No, I said ‘I don’t know if it’s this situation making me think like that, but I know that it’s what I want’. And I did. I wanted to be married to you, Peeta. I  _ still _ want to be married to you. When I first got here, President Coin had dissolved our marriage... and I fought tooth and nail to make her reinstate it. I love you, Peeta, and I always will.” Peeta shook his head, his eyes closing.

“No you don’t... you love  _ him _ ... the old me. This is me now. You don’t love me, you want to get rid of me. That’s why you’re making that vaccine.”

“I’m making that vaccine because without it, you will die, Peeta. The virus inside of you will continue to produce enough toxins until your body goes into total organ failure. Your brain will shut down and then soon, the rest of your organs will follow. That’s why we spent hours last night creating a customised antiretroviral to the virus that’s specifically in you. It slows down production of the virus, and therefore, production of the toxins. I’m trying to  _ save _ you, Peeta. Every part of you... old and new.”

“Why?”

“Because I love every part of you. You’ve made me a better person... brought back everything I once was, before I lost everything and became cold-hearted.” He scoffed.

“Cold-hearted is an excellent word to use. I think a better description is you have no heart at all.”

“And why’s that? I didn’t break your heart, not that I know of. I knew that I wanted you in my life, and then we agreed to try out our relationship from the beginning. And that was  _ wonderful _ , Peeta. I loved every second of it, and every second of time I spent with you. You’re doubting me because Snow fucked with your head and is making you doubt me.” He looked at me again, the black of his eyes outlined with a small amount of blue before it disappeared again.

“What about our child? Our son? The one that you killed.”

“I didn’t do that, Peeta... I was attacked,” I told him, not wanting to talk about the child that we had lost.

“Sure you were. You would never say who. I know it was Gale. I know it was because I was stupid and I went and told him to leave the district. Why would I do that, huh? Why would I tell the man who I knew killed my child to leave the district to save himself? Because I knew you loved him.  _ Still _ love him. I’m not an idiot.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. So he  _ did _ know it was Gale. I suppose it was stupid to assume otherwise. If I had been attacked by a total stranger, I’d have no reason to hide it because I wouldn’t have wanted to protect them. I let out that deep breath.

“Yeah... it was... but I don’t love him. I didn’t protect him because I love him, I protected him because I owed him. He helped me save my family, and he took care of them when I was in the Games,” I told him.

“He  _ killed _ our child, Katniss. Why would you want to protect him?” Peeta hissed at me.

“Consider it debt paid,” I replied. “I know it was stupid... I was angry. Angry at Snow, angry at Gale, angry at so many things... I was angry that we couldn’t live our life the way that we wanted. We constantly lived in fear of screwing everything up and risking Lark and Maevis being reaped... If I’d known you were in the rebellion, maybe things would have gone differently.” I could see the fight in his eyes, of the old Peeta trying to reason with this new one, but the new Peeta resisted. There was still too much venom in his veins. He turned on me, his eyes filled with anger and hatred.

“You have no idea of the things I had to do because of you. The things I was  _ forced _ to do because of  _ you _ . While you were home in District Twelve sitting on your ass, I was in the goddam Capitol getting raped by Capitolites who paid Snow to have sex with me. Did you know that?” 

For a moment, I stopped breathing as the words he’d just uttered to me registered in my mind. He was  _ raped? _ While in the Capitol? People paid Snow to have sex with Peeta -  _ my _ Peeta - and he never told me? I tried to think of when this could have possibly been, and then it dawned on me - right after our Capitol wedding in January of 2160, only about a month before Lark was born, Peeta had stayed in the Capitol for an extra week. I’d been so sick from my pregnancy, and he’d told me it was for a commercial for art supplies... but he was actually being sold off.

“You knew... you just didn’t care.” Peeta’s biting words cut through my thoughts, and I looked at him, tears threatening to sting my overtired eyes.

“I... I had no idea...” I muttered quietly. “You... you told me you were making a commercial... for... for art supplies...” On the words ‘art supplies’, my shock wore off into anger, and I stood up from the seat I had taken by his side. “Snow was going to film our wedding night that night, wasn’t he? Sell it off to Capitol pigs... And I got sick that night, so Snow couldn’t have that. No... he made you do it, didn’t he? And you didn’t tell me a  _ damn _ thing because  _ why? _ Because you want to protect me? Peeta Mellark, nothing destroys me more than knowing you went through  _ hell _ and I did  _ nothing _ because I didn’t fucking  _ know! _ How could you do that? How could you keep that from me?” I met his eyes, the blue of his eyes pushing the black of his pupils inwards, and for a moment, remorse flashed across his eyes.

“You couldn’t know,” he whispered and then the black of his pupils expanded again. “You wouldn’t have cared anyway... You wouldn’t have cared! What would you have done anyway, you stupid mutt? You would have just been glad that it wasn’t you! You wouldn’t have cared!” At his angry outburst fuelled by the venom mixing with his adrenaline, I turned on my heel and ran towards the door. “Go ahead and run away, like you always do!” Peeta shouted after me, and I ran out of his room and into the corridor, bumping into Haymitch, who stopped me.

“Sweetheart-” he began to say, but I cut him off.

“Did you know?” I shouted at him. “Did you know, Haymitch? You did, didn’t you? You were there with him! You knew, and you didn’t say  _ anything! _ ”

“He never wanted you to know! He said it would hurt you more than anythin’!” Haymitch defended, but I slapped him across the face.

“How  _ dare _ you? He suffered in silence and I never knew!” I shouted at him. “Had I known, this damn rebellion would have started and ended  _ years _ ago! How dare you keep this from me?”

“Katniss-”

“Don’t speak to me, don’t touch me, don’t even look at me and don’t you  _ dare _ think of me again!” I shouted at him, and I ran off, unable to cope with the unspeakable horrors that Peeta had endured. I was doing what I always did when things became too much - running away and hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Katniss and Cailean succeed in making a vaccine for the venom virus? What’s going to happen if Katniss can’t finish it in a week?
> 
> Please review!


	8. Try To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Cailean start testing potential formulas for the vaccine. Katniss joins Peeta for a therapy session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Try To Remember’ — The Fantasticks (any version works, I listened to the 2006 version)

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

I must have cried myself to sleep in the storage closet I ran to because I woke up very suddenly, checking the clock on the wall - I had slept for five hours. Those five hours could have been spent working on the venom vaccine, and I wasted them crying and sleeping. I was still incredibly distressed about the news I had received about Peeta in the Capitol, but those feelings would have to wait. I had something much more important to do than to cry over the past and be angry about something that was out of my control. And besides, I couldn’t have a conversation with Peeta about it if he was dead, so I had to save him first and then kick his ass for it later - figuratively speaking, of course. I stopped at the restrooms to clean up my face a little from all the crying I had done before making my way back to the lab, where Cailean was taking a short catnap. Not wanting to disturb him, I checked the notes he’d made in the last five hours, noticing that he’d worked out five different potential formulas for the venom vaccine.

They were easy formulas, surprisingly. It was similar to antivenoms already created, but also its own unique thing. According to a combination of Cailean’s and my father’s notes, the vaccine would ‘target the venom like bile does fat and expel it through the urine’. It would be treated similarly to the HIV virus, only we had an additional set of variables to work with. The venom fed the virus, so we had to expel the venom and attack the virus with the antiretroviral, slowing down its replication and starving those that were producing venom. It seemed like we were well on our way to creating the vaccine, but other notes Cailean had written indicated that testing each formula could prove to be rather cumbersome. “It could take days just for one formula alone,” I heard Cailean say, surprising me. “The second one could take weeks... and the fourth could take months. We’ll have to check their blood levels again and see if the antiretroviral is significantly slowing down the replication.”

“How long do hijacking victims generally live?” I asked my brother.

“Two weeks. Three, at most. The virus replicates rapidly,” he replied.

“How long ago do you think they were dosed?” He shrugged.

“Hard to say... In examinations, there were three needle pricks on Johanna, two on Annie and only one on Peeta, so maybe not that long ago. I did order another blood test earlier, before I took my nap. Samples haven’t come yet, have they?” He glanced around the room, his eyes falling on three vials on the table filled with scarlet liquid. “Ah, nevermind. I’ll test these right away.”

The numbers were increased, of course, but not nearly as much as they would have without the antiretrovirals. “Johanna’s active virus count is now 19.34%, Peeta’s is 16.97% and Annie’s is 17.32%. Definitely a reduction,” I said when I checked the results of the blood test. “That’s a 2.11% increase for Johanna - 0.15% less... 1.08% increase for Peeta with a 0.46% less than yesterday, and for Annie, an increase of 0.92%, which is more than what she had yesterday.”

“We’ll have to increase her antiretrovirals then. If Johanna doesn’t decrease, we’ll likely lose her in about... nine or ten days. Her improvement isn’t significant enough so we’ll have to increase her antiretrovirals, too.”

“What about Peeta?”

“He’s doing fairly well as far as response to the antiretrovirals, but it wouldn’t hurt to get his numbers down, too. If he stays at about a 1% increase every day, he should remain with us for about... twenty or twenty one days?”

“That’s not enough,” I said. “We have to reduce his numbers more.”

“The antiretrovirals take time to really kick in... it’s possible that the virus will slow down enough so that the phagocytes in their blood will eat enough of the infected cells and the viruses to give us even more time. And even so... they may have to be on them for the rest of their lives. That is, if we can find a way to evacuate the toxins from their systems,” Cailean explained.

“Well... let’s get started on testing these formulas then,” I replied, and we got to work.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

This place was an absolute hellhole. Any place that had...  _ her _ ... was a hellhole. That vicious mutt, who killed my family... destroyed my home...

_ She didn’t do that. You know she didn’t. _

Shut up, asshole. You’re trapped inside of me, but I'm the one out here with that vicious mutt.

_ She’s not a mutt. I love her, and you’re part of me, so you love her, too. _

No I don’t!

_ Yes you do. If you didn’t, why are you so nervous about her coming to visit you for your therapy session, hm? _

...shut up.

_ Who’s the asshole now? _

Shut  _ up _ , you insolent little dickhead.

This was my life now. Constant battles with two different versions of me, one that thought he knew the world and one that really  _ did _ know the world, but was locked away by the one who was so afraid of it that he lashed out violently. I started having therapy sessions several times a day, once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once in the evening. Every day, they’d show me the same videos again and again reminding me that they were what was real, not the memories that Snow had, evidently, planted inside of my head. Or so they say. I don’t know if I could believe them, these... rebels.

But wasn’t I once part of the rebellion, too? I was in on the plot to destroy the arena and had it not gone to shit, thanks to the Careers, I would have been rescued along with Katniss, and this angry version of me would never exist. Did that mean that that angry version was, after all, wrong? That I wasn’t meant to be this way? I couldn’t figure it out... same as I couldn’t figure out Katniss. One minute, often in the middle of the night, I would dream that something horrible happened to her, and I’d wake up in tears longing for her, but then I’d come to my senses (or so I believed) and came to hate her again. Snow said she used my love for her to her gain, but she did have a point... if she didn’t love me, would she really dedicate so much time to learning how to create a vaccine just for me? I’d heard, from my childhood friend, Delly Cartwright, who came to visit me once, that she’d raised hell to get me rescued from the Capitol. She, too, said that Katniss loved me so much, and that I loved her. Maybe those feelings were there, but they confused and scared me, since all I could really remember were the memories that President Snow had told me were really the truth.

She came again, Katniss... the day after I accused her of being at fault for my being raped in the Capitol. It wasn’t her fault... she was sick, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. But  _ why? _ Why was that my train of thought? Why were these memories - good, happy memories - of us together and in love invading my mind? Those memories... they didn’t have a shiny edge to them. Not like the ones of her lying and hating and using me had.

“Not pissed at me anymore, huh?” I asked her when she showed up. She looked tired and a little thin, with dark circles beneath her eyes. Her arms were crossed and she appeared irritable, but it could probably be attributed to her evident lack of sleep. Or that she was just an evil mutt. Probably the former. Maybe the latter?

“I am, but I’ve got more important things to focus on at the moment, such as finishing that vaccine so you don’t die on me,” she replied firmly, grabbing the stool beside my bed and sitting on it. “Let’s get this therapy session started, yes? The sooner we start it, the sooner you can be rid of me and the sooner I can get back to curing you.” That was harsh, but I deserved it; I didn’t say anything else.

The screen came on and I saw the beginning of a scene I had seen yesterday - it was me lying beside the river disguised among the rocks in the first arena, just before Katniss had found me. Suddenly, her figure came onto the screen and she called out to me.  _ “Peeta,” _ she said, trying not to draw attention to herself.

_ “Come to finish me off, sweetheart?” _ I heard my own voice say, and she turned around searching for where my voice had come from.

_ “Peeta, where are you? I can’t... I can’t see you,” _ Katniss replied, the expression on her face worried, although her voice held steady.

_ “That’s the whole point of camouflage, isn’t it?” _ I’d said, and she rolled her eyes on the screen.

_ “Peeta, I’m not going to hurt you. Please, where are you? We can both go home! Together!” _ she said again. My own image on the screen reached up an arm to grab her ankle, making her jump, and once she realised that she’d finally found me among the rocks, she dove down onto her knees, grasped me around the shoulders and... pulled me into her arms? Truth to be told, I hadn’t really been paying attention when these sessions were done, but now that Katniss was here beside me, I felt that I ought to pay attention.  _ “Peeta...” _ the Katniss on the screen murmured, one of her arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders and the other supporting my head. I saw her press her lips to the top of my head as she sighed in relief, and then she pulled back from the embrace, smiling at me.  _ “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” _

“You looked... happy,” I said suddenly, my eyes not leaving the screen. I was now watching Katniss drag me closer to the river and start to undress me so she could wash my clothes.

“I was,” she replied, her eyes also on the screen. “Before, I’d thought you were trying to kill me when you were with the Careers... but when I realised you weren’t, it had already been two days, and Rue and I were trying to destroy the Careers’ stockpile. I found you after... after that.”

“After they announced that two Victors could win so long as they were from the same district,” I told her.

“I still had my doubts about your loyalty, but... yes... I’d hoped that you wouldn’t kill me so that we could both go home.”

“And I didn’t.”

“Nope.” Looking up at the screen again, I was now fully nude while she was washing my clothes in the river, her cheeks bright red.

_ “Katniss, bend down here for a second. I want to tell you something,” _ I heard myself say to her, and she did. I whispered something into her ear, but the cameras didn’t catch it.

“What did I say to you?” I asked her as I watched her respond quietly, then say,  _ “After I get you cleaned up and put away somewhere safe.” _

“You said, ‘feel free to kiss me anytime you want’,” she told me. “I said ‘I’ll keep that in mind’ before finishing up your clothes.” I watched on the screen as she continued to avert her eyes from my fully nude form, and then I raised my eyebrow in confusion.

“We’d had sex before we went into the Games, hadn’t we? Why were you afraid to see me naked then? Didn’t like that you could finally see me in the light? Couldn’t pretend that I was Gale anymore?” She huffed and then looked at me.

“I was shy still, I’d never really seen a naked man before you, except when he was dying on my kitchen table with Agnessa hovering over him. I felt... I don’t know... nervous, I guess? That if I looked at you... I might not be able to control myself.”

“Imagine the rewards  _ that _ would have gotten us.”

“There was no way I was having sex in that arena, Peeta. There were too many eyes on us. That night before the Games began was for us and us only, not for them. Not for the bloody cameras.”

“Snow says that every sign of affection you showed me was for the cameras.”

“Snow lied to you. There were no cameras on us the night you were brought here and I was with you and loving on you. Do you think that was fake, too?”

“Snow said you never really loved me. That you were using me to stay alive. That you were a survivor, nothing more. You couldn’t bother to love anyone but yourself.”

“Of all the people closest to me, Peeta, I love myself the least. In fact, I’m my own worst enemy. I almost let you walk away from me... but I stopped that from happening. I wanted you to know that I really did care for you, I just... I had to relearn how to love.”

“Why not Gale? You were always with him.”

“He was too cynical for me. Still is, and an ass if I’ve ever seen one. Gale makes me a survivor... but you give me a reason to live. You and the girls...” I now turned my head to look at her, seeing her hands clasped and her eyes turned down to them.

“When can I see them?” I whispered to her, and she looked up at me with surprise.

“As soon as I know you’re not a danger to them. I love you, Peeta, and I know you love our daughters, but I can’t risk them getting hurt and I don’t want you to frighten them.”

“So now you’re keeping my children from me?” I said with agitation, and she huffed.

“I wanted to bring them here so badly. I want to see you holding our daughters again and I want to see you all happy again, but if I can’t save you... then I don’t want their last memory of you to be associated with fear,” she told me, and then she looked at the screen again. We were now in the cave, and I had already told her about how I fell in love with her when I heard her sing, and she was smiling at me.

_ “You can’t have possibly known you were in love with a girl you barely knew and that you couldn’t even get to know because she didn’t speak English,”  _ she was telling me with an amused expression on her face.

_ “I had my ways. After that, I observed you, watched how you interacted with people. You tried to help people, but they’d always push you away, and you’d get very sad... it wasn’t fair, how they treated you. You couldn’t have helped the fact that you didn’t speak English,” _ I replied back. She let out a sigh.

_ “You were one of the only people who was kind to me, besides Prim...” _ she’d told me.  _ “You were kind to everyone, and I admired that about you. A lot, actually. You’ve always been so kind.” _ I smiled up at her from my place on the ground of the cave and I reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.

_ “Come here,” _ I’d told her, and she laid down beside me and snuggled up against my chest, I wrapping a firm arm around her shoulders. I saw myself kiss her forehead. I remember not mentioning the night before the Games because I was afraid she would deny it, or get angry at me for mentioning it, so I kept quiet. Instead, I whispered to her in the darkness,  _ “Can I kiss you?” _ She looked up at me, her palm flattening against my chest, and with a gentle blush forming on her cheeks, she nodded. One of my hands shifted to her face, and I sat up just a little to bring our lips together. Kissing her was... was... I can’t remember.

“I don’t remember what that feels like,” I said out loud. I panicked for a moment, not realising I’d vocalised my thoughts, but there was no going back now. She’d turned her head to look at me, an eyebrow raised.

“What... what... feels like?” she asked.

“Kissing you,” I told her. “I... I don’t remember what it feels like. I know it’s happened in the last couple of days, but... I don’t remember-” She surprised me by immediately standing up, bending over me, putting her hands on either side of my face and firmly pressing her lips against mine. It felt... warm... and comforting... and very familiar, like home... She smelled of pine and lavender and she felt like the most comforting feeling I’d ever experienced in all my life. This wasn’t a mutt... this was my wife of four years, kissing me as if she hadn’t kissed me in years. A warmth began to spread starting around my navel and then outward until it engulfed my whole body, and then she pulled away.

“Do you remember now?” she asked me, but I couldn’t speak. Not immediately, at least, since I was still surprised. Outwardly, I appeared to be frozen, but inside, I was fighting a battle with myself. Darkness fought against the light, and for the first time since the battle began... the light won.

“Always,” I whispered back to her. Suddenly, I wanted to hold her in my arms, but those damn restraints kept me tied down. I felt a tear slip down my cheek, and Katniss’s hand gently rubbed that tear away with her thumb. “Kiss me again,” I heard myself whisper, “before he comes back...” She obliged me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and kissing me once more, passionately and hungrily, and then resting her forehead against mine. “Hurry up with that vaccine... I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”

“Stay with me, Peeta,” she whispered back, her own eyes glistening. “I’ll stop at nothing to bring you back to me.” She kissed me one more time, but I could no longer hold off the darkness. My vision began to blur as I felt another episode start to grip me.

“Katniss... go... please, I don’t want him to hurt you...” I told her as I fought off the darkness, and for a moment, all she did was slip off the bed and step back, a helpless expression on her face. “Go! Go, Katniss! Please!” I begged her, and she did as I asked, quickly turning on her heel and running for the door. She was gone when the darkness won, and the angry version of me that Snow had created finally broke through.

_ How dare you let her kiss you? She’s a monster! She’ll kill us both! _

She’s not a monster... You’re just afraid of her.

_ Afraid? Of a mutt? Who in their right mind wouldn’t be? Why aren’t you afraid of that evil mutt? _

Because she’s not a mutt. I know her, she’s Katniss.  _ My _ Katniss. My wife of four years, the mother of my two beautiful daughters whom she loves more than anything in the world. I’ll help you... You just don’t understand her so I’ll help you. I know you don’t hate her. You’re me, so you can’t hate her. You’re just afraid of her. I’ll help you to learn how to not be afraid of her...

I closed my eyes tightly as I heard noises around me - the medical team, likely, giving me morphling to calm me down - when all of a sudden, another memory came back to me. An old memory... of an old woman with snow white hair, humming a tune to herself as she swept the floor of her home.

_ “What’s that song, Grammy?”  _ a little boy, with a mop of honey golden curls on his head and bright sky blue eyes full of hope, wonder and admiration, asked the older woman, his grandmother.

_ “An old song. My mother used to sing it to me, and her mother before her, and then hers, and so on,” _ said the little boy’s grandmother.  _ “Would you like me to sing it to you?” _

_ “Yes, please!” _ said the little boy, no older than five or six years old, to his grandmother. While she swept the floor with her broom, she swayed along with it as she sang the lyrics to the song she had been humming only moments before.

_ “Try to remember the kind of September _

_ When life was slow and oh, so mellow; _

_ Try to remember the kind of September _

_ When grass was green and grain was yellow; _

_ Try to remember the kind of September _

_ When you were a tender and callow member; _

_ Try to remember and if you remember, _

_ Then follow... _

_ Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow _

_ Follow, follow, follow, follow...” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can Peeta remain strong enough to fight the venom off enough, or will he eventually succumb to it?
> 
> Please review!


	9. You’ll Burn With Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss runs out of time to work on the virus and has to hold up her end of the bargain with Coin. Snow has another trick up his sleeve.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

On the final day of the week I was given to create the vaccine, Cailean and I realised that we had made a very crucial mistake. I was examining Johanna’s blood cells to see if any visible change had come from introducing more antiretrovirals to her system. It had been a few days, and she now had about 21.8% of active virus, which was a very good improvement. Peeta was now at 19.21% and Annie at 20.76%, which meant that the antiretrovirals were working at a much quicker pace than we had anticipated. This would mean that we would have a lot more time than we’d initially thought to work out the kinks of the virus vaccine, until we set ourselves back to the very beginning. As I was examining Johanna’s blood cells, I uttered the first word that came to my mind. “Shit...” I whispered, and Cailean looked up from the paperwork.

“What?” he asked me, his eyebrows raised with curiosity. I sat back, my heart racing and my chest tight, as I realised that we had made such a terrible mistake - an observation that could have easily been overlooked, and had been.

“The virus... it’s not making the toxin... Cailean, the _cells_ are making the toxin. The virus is changing their DNA to do that! It’s not only making the cells a virus factory for replication, it’s also producing the toxins! We fucked up!” I cried.

“No... You’re kidding. It can’t be the cells!” Cailean exclaimed, jumping up and running to my side.

“Have a look for yourself,” I told him, and he did, and sure enough, he came to the same conclusion I had.

“Shit... We’ll have to start over...”

“I can’t start over. This is my last day to work on this vaccine. After this... Coin’s going to make me do her bidding,” I told my brother, who let out a sigh.

“And she will, too. She doesn’t like not getting what she wants... I’m sorry, Katniss...” he told me, pulling me in for a tight hug. “I won’t stop working on it. I won’t rest until I’ve got us back on track to where we were before, and when you’re not with Coin, you can come back here and we can work on it together. We’ve come a long way in understanding this virus and how it works. I’m confident that it’ll be a lot easier now that we know the cells are what’s making the toxin. They’re easier to target than viruses!”

“But we were so close!” I cried into his shoulder, holding onto him tightly.

“I know... I know we were. But we would have failed anyway. We’d believe we had the right vaccine and then it wouldn’t even work because we targeted the wrong thing... but it’s okay. All I have to do is change a few variables in the formulas and start from there.” He pulled back from the embrace and smiled at me, his one blue eye and one brown looking cheerful and full of hope. “It’ll be okay. We’re not going to lose them.”

“I hope you’re right,” I told him. We used the last full day that I had in the lab to work out the formulas, which took several hours, and when we finally had the formulas, we began the work. At about ten at night, Gale suddenly showed up in the lab, and I sent him a scowl. “We’re a bit busy. Mind coming back later?” I asked him.

“President Coin sent me to bring you back to your room. She wants to remind you that your time is up and she wants you well rested for your work tomorrow, which starts at seven on the dot tomorrow morning,” Gale said in an official tone.

“No thanks, I’m fine here,” I replied, getting back to work.

“You don’t have a choice, Katniss. You need to come with me. Your agreement was you were given the week and the week is now over,” Gale replied.

“Technically, it’s not over for another two hours,” I told him, but Cailean cleared his throat.

“Katniss, if I know anything about Coin, she’s going to work you for hours with no breaks. Just go and try to get at least a little sleep... We don’t need two people at this stage anyway. We’re mostly just waiting for results now,” he said to me, and I let out a sigh.

“Fine,” I said. “But I won’t sleep. I don’t sleep well without Peeta.” I glared at Gale when I said Peeta’s name, hoping it would sting him at least a little bit, but if it did, he didn’t show it.

“Let’s go, Katniss,” he said firmly.

“I can walk myself, I’m not a child,” I spat back.

“I will be escorting you back to your room to ensure that you do actually go back. I know you, you’re very stubborn,” Gale told me, which only made me roll my eyes.

“Fine. I’ll see you at some point tomorrow, Cailean,” I told my brother, who bid me goodbye, and I followed Gale out of the lab. We were silent for most of the walk, but with each passing second, I just became more and more pissed off at him. “Is your family here? I haven’t seen them,” I said suddenly.

“My mother, brothers and sister are,” Gale replied, probably knowing that I was baiting him.

“But not your wife and child?”

“They didn’t want to come.”

“Your _wife_ didn’t want to come. Your child was just an infant. He didn’t have a choice. You could have saved him.”

“And take him away from his mother?”

“You should have convinced them to come, otherwise, you shouldn’t have left without them.”

“I’d be dead if I didn’t leave.”

“And they’re dead now because you did.” He stopped, his eyes glaring at me with venom. “Peeta told you to leave. I know now that he did it for me... I only wish that I’d told him the truth, about what really happened in the woods. I should have, anyway. I love him and promised to be honest with him at all times.”

“He wasn’t honest with you. Did he tell you he told me to leave?”

“That’s not being dishonest, that’s simply withholding information.”

“You’re telling me I shouldn’t have left without Leevy and our son... maybe you should have opened your eyes to see that clearly, something happened to him in the Capitol.” He was referring to when Peeta was forced to sleep with Capitol patrons, and I narrowed my eyes at him. After Peeta had shouted that information at me during an episode, word spread fast.

“He likely had a reason for not telling me... He wouldn’t have told me even if I had pestered him again and again, I’m sure of it. But even so... me knowing what happened to him wouldn’t have gotten me or our children killed. You can’t compare his secrets to your leaving behind your wife and child. You had a duty to that child, and you failed him. I’ve had enough of this conversation now, I’ll be walking myself back to my own room now because I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

“I’m supposed to escort you to the Command Room tomorrow morning.”

“I won’t go if you’re the one that greets me outside of my door tomorrow morning.” He closed his eyes, seeming to hold something back.

“What happened to us, Catnip? We used to be so close...” he said after a moment.

“You turned into a jealous ass because I didn’t reciprocate your feelings, and don’t call me that anymore,” I hissed at him.

“I wasn’t ‘jealous’. I was angry because you proved to be such a hypocrite!” he snapped back.

“Can I really be a hypocrite if I speak out of ignorance? I was incredibly naive and ignorant back then. I was stubborn, believed that I never wanted to fall in love. But just know that I would have loved Peeta anyway. I never wanted to get married, not even to you out of partnership. I wouldn’t have wanted to deny you your marital rights and I didn’t want children. Married women were required to produce at least two children. I wasn’t going to do that. But Peeta... Even though I didn’t know it, I’ve loved him for years. When we were children, he was the only one who was kind to me, even when I pushed him away. If we hadn’t been reaped, I’m certain that I would have eventually admitted my feelings for him to myself. There is no scenario where you and I would ever be in love, Gale, so stop acting like you still have a chance.”

“I _know_ I don’t have a chance. You won’t stop rubbing that in my face. But you’re still a hypocrite! For years, you told me you didn’t want to fall in love-” I held up a hand to stop him.

“I’ve heard that damn speech a hundred times over the last four years, I don’t want to hear it again. I know what I once thought, but people change. I love _Peeta_ , I’m very glad to be married to _Peeta_ . I love the children that _Peeta_ and I have together. It doesn’t matter what I once thought. It wouldn’t matter to you, either, if you and Peeta switched places.” I paused, and his eyes were glowing with the heartbreak he must have been feeling. “I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t even know you felt for me that way. I always thought we had a kinship, and nothing but. But then you made the mistake of falling in love when you knew I didn’t love you. If, in all the years we knew each other before the Games, I didn’t change my opinion, what made you think I would? And then I met Peeta, and within a couple of months, he made me change all of my opinions. He made me _want_ to. You never did, and I’m sorry that you got hurt, but you can’t blame me for not wanting what I’ve found with Peeta with you. Don’t you see the problem with that?”

“I had you first...”

“No you didn’t. You _never_ did, Gale. You always tried to hide my problems and bury them in things like survival and hunting. You never listened. You never truly cared about why I ached, you only wanted it to go away so it would stop affecting you. But Peeta _does_ listen. He cares about me and why I’m in pain and he _knows_ why I’m hurting. We’ve been together through so much... You have no claim to me, but then again, neither of you do. No one has any ‘claim’ on me but me. I chose Peeta. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a long day ahead of me, of which you refuse to let me forget. I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Gale.” With that said, I turned on my heel, not hearing his footsteps behind me, which meant that he didn’t follow me. Good. Perhaps now, he finally understood why I didn’t love him. I didn’t understand why he kept trying to pursue me, as if force was going to get me to suddenly change my mind. What was he expecting me to say? ‘Oh, Gale, I wish I saw the truth sooner. I’m going to leave my sick husband and my toddler daughters and my mourning mother-in-law just for you!’ He was so blind. He could never see why we just wouldn’t work.

Early the next day, I was ushered to the Command Room, where Freya, Calum, Carolina, Finnick, Beetee, Plutarch, Haymitch and, surprisingly, Johanna, were waiting along with President Coin. “Johanna,” I said, raising an eyebrow at her presence. She gave me a smirk, and this time, her eyes weren’t full of hate.

“Surprised to see me?” she asked snidely.

“Can’t say I’m not,” I told her.

“You can thank yourself for that. The nurses say I’m getting better thanks to whatever shots you’ve been sending up,” Johanna told me.

“This meeting will begin soon, but we are waiting on one more participant,” President Coin said, interrupting our conversation. I heard the sound of the doors open behind me. “Ah, and here he is now.” When I turned around, I was very surprised by who I saw enter the room.

“Peeta?” I asked. I hadn’t seen him since his last episode, not because I didn’t want to but because _he_ didn’t want to see _me_. I can’t say it didn’t hurt just a little, but I understood why he didn’t. I’d likely crossed a line by kissing him like that, even if he did seem to enjoy it and ask for more.

“Yeah,” Peeta replied. He was handcuffed and accompanied by Gale, who sent me a rather nasty look, which I gladly returned, and led Peeta to take a seat at the other side of the table.

“Now,” said President Coin. “We have in this room seven Victors of the Hunger Game, and I want you all to be featured in this very first propo. I’d love for our own soldiers to appear as well, but the districts may respond better to seeing their own kind first instead. Perhaps they will stand behind Thirteen when they see their own kind have already stood behind us.”

“Why do we have to stand behind you? Why can’t the districts stand _with_ you?” I asked suddenly, seeming to surprise Coin. A lot of eyes suddenly fell to me, including a set of blue ones that were laced with confusion.

“We all stand together, Ms. Everdeen, but as you know well, there isn’t much support from the districts,” Coin replied. So she was back to calling me ‘Ms. Everdeen’, hm?

“You’re not saying anything the districts want to hear,” I replied. “And the name’s Mrs. Mellark, I’ve told you this dozens of times now.”

“Katniss,” Calum said to me, a mild warning tone to his voice.

“For the propos, you will be known as Katniss Everdeen. That is the name you bore when you won your Games and that is the name that Panem will know. I will not argue this,” Coin replied firmly. “As for the districts, they have made no effort in regards to politics and leadership. They are only battling the Capitol.”

“Are you making an effort to even speak to them? Or to include them? The districts won’t respond to an authoritarian voice barking orders at them. We already have been for almost eighty years now,” I spat back at her.

“Ms. Everdeen, we have an agreement-”

“ _Mrs. Mellark_ , and I’ve had enough of doing what people tell me to do. I’ll do your damn propo today, but after this, I’ll do them on my terms. If you want to speak to the districts, then you need to listen to people who are actually _from_ the districts in order to be heard. You’re not a fool, President Coin, you ought to know that the districts won’t respect nor will they listen to a leader who doesn’t know their suffering. You’ve been hiding away underground safe from Snow and the reaping for nearly eighty years.” Coin narrowed her eyes at me, her hands clasped tightly in front of her on the table.

“No,” she said firmly. “We will do things my way and you will do what you’re told, or you won’t be allowed to participate in your little ‘project’ in the science lab. I bargained with you once, I won’t bargain with you again.”

“Perhaps I was wrong, saying you’re not a fool, President Coin,” I replied. “You’d be smart to listen to the districts, but no, the only voice you listen to is your own.” Coin smirked at me.

“You are certainly correct there, Ms. _Everdeen_ ,” she said, punctuating my false name. I narrowed my eyes at her. I was beaten - if I refused to do her propo then she wouldn’t let me work on the venom vaccine, and she probably would stop Cailean from working on it, too, leading to certain death for Peeta, Johanna and Annie, and I couldn’t have that. “That’s enough small talk. This propo will feature all of the Victors calling for Panem to join District Thirteen in the rebellion against the Capitol and President Snow. You will be given scripts that Mr. Plutarch Heavensbee has written. Do not mess them up and do not deviate from them. The camera and prep teams are already waiting for you all in the filming studio. You will work until the propo is perfect and ready to be broadcast to all of Panem, which will be tonight at dinner. You are all dismissed.” It was evident that she didn’t want another outburst from me, so she didn’t even give me the opportunity to let one in. She dismissed us and quickly stood and waved her hands to the guards, who ushered us out and led us down to the studio. Once we were there and were prepped, which took an hour and a half for all of us combined, we stood in front of the backdrop waiting for instructions.

“You’re right, Katniss, about the districts not wanting to listen to her. She’s going to find out very quickly that the districts aren’t going to respond to this propo,” Freya told me.

“They’re probably going to see us as nothing but puppets to another damn regime,” Johanna hissed bitterly.

“We’re forced to either kill or survive twenty-three other children only to be treated as puppets and do other people’s bidding,” Finnick chimed in, and he looked at both Peeta and Johanna. “I can’t imagine what it must have been like being in Snow’s hands...”

“Here isn’t any better. I’m still strapped to a bed twenty four hours a day and handcuffed whenever I’m let out,” Peeta replied.

“As soon as Cailean and I finish the vaccine, she’ll have no leverage over me anymore. Then I’ll give her a piece of my bloody mind,” I said, my venomous eyes glancing at the camera crew and the guards out of the corner of my eye.

“She wants Snow dead. That’s a good thing, at least,” Finnick replied.

“That’s the _only_ good thing about that cunt,” said Johanna bitterly, and Freya and I struggled to hide the snort that came out of our noses.

“All right, let’s get to work!” came the loud and directive voice of the director, a Capitol escapee called Cressida Golden. With a Capitol name like that, it was easy to tell where she came from. We got to work on our propo, all of us being scolded at least once for ‘not having enough heart’.

About halfway through the filming, there was a broadcast from the Capitol, which was mandatory not only in the districts, but also required by President Coin. How different from the Capitol was District Thirteen under Coin? It certainly felt the same, only I wasn’t starving and I never saw the sun. On a large stage stood three peacekeepers, each holding onto someone else. Wait, I recognised those people... I let out a gasp when I realised who was standing on that stage, handcuffed and prepped for execution. Dawn Fodor, Oceana Spritz and Glitter Pash, the three Victors who failed to escape and were captured by the Capitol now over a week ago. Behind them were the gallows, where I assumed they’d be hanged from. Standing above the stage was President Snow, and the Capitol citizens cheered for him as he held up a hand to silence them.

“Citizens of Panem...” President Snow began. “Rebellion is brewing in the districts, and I am here to tell you that that just will not do. Those of you who are in support of the rebellion are ungrateful for everything the Captiol has given you - all we have asked for, in return for our generosity, was a sacrifice... of two children from your district. Out of hundreds or thousands of children, we only asked for one boy and one girl, and then we promised to care for the victor of the Games for the rest of his or her life. Some of you have proven to me that you are... ungrateful... for all that we have done for you, and now, you will pay the price. Below me, you will see the faces of three of your beloved Victors. Ms. Dawn Fodor of District Five, Ms. Oceana Spritz of District Four, and, I am certainly surprised to say, Miss Glitter Pash of District One. These three Victors plotted with the rebels to ‘rescue’ some of the other Victors, who were enjoying the safety that the Capitol provided them from the rebel violence in their home districts. This is treason in its highest form - aiding the rebels in actions against the Capitol. They will now be executed for their crimes.”

“No,” I muttered quietly, my hand over my mouth.

“Dawn Fodor of District Five. You have been accused and found guilty of aiding the rebels in an act of treason, and you will now be executed,” Snow said to the first Victor, Dawn Fodor, who was an older woman. “Any final words?”

“No! No, please! I swear I didn’t! They wanted to escape! They asked me and I said no! Please!” cried Dawn Fodor in fear, but her pleas fell on deaf ears. Snow gave the order, and the peacekeeper that held her pushed her to her knees and pulled out a pistol. Despite Dawns cries and pleads, the peacekeeper pulled the trigger, and I jumped as I watched her blood spatter against the floor of the stage, Dawn Fodor falling lifeless onto the ground.

“Oceana Spritz of District Four,” Snow continued, as if a life hadn’t just been taken in front of him. “You have been accused and found guilty of aiding the rebels in an act of treason, and you will now be executed. Any last words?” Like Dawn, Oceana was also an older woman, likely in her sixties, but only a few years younger than Dawn.

“What’s the point in begging for my life? You’ve already refused to listen to me anyway,” Oceana spat at him. Snow then gave the order, and Oceana, too, joined Dawn Fodor on the floor of the stage in a puddle of her own blood.

“Glitter Pash of District One,” President Snow said again, and I felt my chest tighten. In my fear, I didn’t feel a hand slip into mine, nor did I realise that I had subconsciously started squeezing the life out of it. “You have been accused and found guilty of aiding the rebels in an act of treason, and you will now be executed. Any last words?”

“It doesn’t matter if you kill me,” Glitter began. “I’ll be joining the hundreds of other lives that were taken by the Capitol. President Snow, your time is limited.” Capitol citizens gasped, shouted nasty words and caused chaos at Glitter’s words. “The rebellion will succeed and Panem will rise from the ashes of the world that you have set fire to, no matter how many of us you kill! If we burn, then you’ll burn with us!” The peacekeeper behind her wasted no time in forcing her to her knees. He simply stood behind her and shot her through the head, silencing her and her rebellious words forever. I was suddenly aware of the hand in mind and I turned to whoever owned it, throwing my arms around them and sobbing into their shoulder. A pair of firm, warm arms wrapped themselves tightly around me and I felt a large, warm hand rub up and down my back.

“It’s okay,” I heard Peeta’s voice whisper into my ear. I held onto him even tighter, grateful to be in his arms once more without him insulting me or saying nasty things to me. My sweet Peeta - my boy with the bread, who was now a man at twenty years old - was coming back to me on his own, even without the vaccine.

“Let this be a warning,” I heard Snow’s voice say again once the noisy Capitol citizens finally quieted down, “to all who even give a thought to joining the rebels. You will be killed, and so will your families. You will not threaten our way of life. I will personally take away everything that you love before I will let you take away the lives that the people of Panem know and love so well.” The speech was over, and the bodies of the Victors were lifted and then suspended by their necks from the gallows - I could have sworn that they hovered on this shot deliberately to target us.

With the emotions from watching the executions, we finished the propo much quicker than intended, which gave the editors plenty of time to clean it up and piece it together. Peeta was handcuffed again and right when he was about to be led out and back to the hospital by Gale, I stopped them both, throwing my arms around Peeta’s neck and hugging him tightly. “Your work is done for the day, Katniss. Go back to the lab,” Gale replied, tugging on Peeta’s arm to rip him from my embrace. I certainly did get to the lab to see the progress that had been made on the vaccine, and Cailean surprised me with some good news, which was much needed after watching the executions.

“Peeta and Annie actually have _less_ of the virus in them now than they did yesterday,” he told me.

“They... they do?” I asked, and Cailean nodded happily.

“Yesterday, Peeta had 19.21% of active virus in his body, but _today_... he has 18.96%. It’s not a heavy decrease, but it’s a decrease nonetheless! And Annie had 20.76% yesterday but today, she has 20.23%!”

“What about Johanna?”

“She’s gone up, but only a little bit. Yesterday, she had 21.8% and today, her numbers are 22.03%. The antiretrovirals are working, and so are their immune systems. Their bodies are actually fighting the virus and winning!”

“That’s excellent! That gives us more time!” I exclaimed.

“I don’t know how _much_ more time, but yes, it definitely gives us more time. We’ll keep them on the antiretrovirals and crack down on this vaccine. I don’t want to let my breath out just yet,” Cailean replied.

“Believe me, I have more than just one reason of wanting to finish this vaccine,” I told him, and we got to work. At dinner time, we were all expected to be in the cafeteria for the airing of the propo. I sat at a table with Calum, Cailean, Finnick, Carolina and Freya while we waited for the broadcast, which would interrupt Snow’s daily threat to the rebels.

“You were friends with Glitter, weren’t you?” Freya asked me.

“She was probably one of few people I was close to during the Games,” I replied. I felt terrible about Glitter’s death... She was a nice girl, so unlike anyone else I’d ever met from District One, and she wanted to see an end to the Capitol’s regime, even though her home district was favoured by the Capitol. I then looked at Finnick. “I have good news, about Annie... The medicine is working, it’s helping her body fight off the virus. Her active virus count was lower today than it was yesterday.”

“That’s good,” Finnick said, giving me a gentle smile. “I meant to thank you for all you’ve done for Annie... She’s still afraid of me, but less so now. She lets me sit with her and asks me what’s real and what isn’t.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I replied. The Capitol anthem surprised us, and when Caesar Flickerman’s face popped up on the screen, it was immediately interrupted by the broadcast of the propo.

“We are Victors of the Hunger Games,” Finnick’s voice cried out from the screen. “We’re here to tell you to join the fight against the Capitol and President Snow!”

“Join the rebellion and stand behind District Thirteen as they fight against President Snow’s hateful regime,” came my own voice.

“President Snow tried to have me killed, but I lived! I lived to join District Thirteen in the rebellion against the Capitol,” came Freya’s voice.

“President Snow tried to hijack me using tracker jacker venom, but he failed, and here I am joining the fight against President Snow and the Capitol and standing behind District Thirteen with my beloved wife by my side,” Peeta’s voice said. The fuzzy image on the screen showed him taking my hand and we looked at each other.

“President Snow took everything from me, and I want to take everything from him. Join us and the rebellion and help us win the fight,” said Johanna’s voice. And just like that, the broadcast was cut. Beetee had a line as well, but the broadcast was cut off. Evidently, the Capitol decided that no broadcast was better than a hijacked broadcast, so they just shut off the airwaves.

“Can’t wait for that to blow up in Coin’s face,” Freya said, scoffing at the very fake-sounding words of the propo. If only we knew how right she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Snow retaliate for the airing of the propo so soon after the executions of Dawn, Oceana and Glitter? If so, will Coin try to squeeze more propos out? Will the propos even work?
> 
> Please review!


	10. A Change of Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Capitol attacks Thirteen. The rebellion experiences a setback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Dacw ‘Nghariad’ — Eve Goodman

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

It happened when I was filming a solo propo for Coin. I was incredibly disinterested in doing it, especially since I was right that the districts wouldn’t respond to the first one. Why would the districts stand behind District Thirteen? They wouldn’t, they’d have no reason to. Why Coin couldn’t get that through her head, I had no idea. During what must have been the millionth take (and millionth scolding for not looking passionate enough), suddenly, an alarm sounded.

“What the hell? We don’t have any drills scheduled for today, do we?” said one of the guards, who had been startled by the alarm.

“I’d think at least one of us would know but I don’t remember one ever being scheduled,” said the other, and then not a moment later, the structure began to shake.

“It’s not a drill! Everyone get down to the bunker!” shouted the first guard.

“Katniss, let’s go! We need you safe!” Cressida shouted to me, and I only followed her out of the room and into the chaos of the main corridor, because my mind was on one thing and one thing only - Peeta. I broke away from the group and rushed to the hospital, finding it evacuated, for the most part, until I heard a set of terrified screams coming from the direction in which the hijacking victims were located. When I followed their sound, I saw Finnick running down the hall towards Annie’s room, struggling to open the locked door to her room.

“They just abandoned them!” Finnick shouted, and then he put his fist through the window of the door and reached down to unlock it from the inside.

“Finnick!” Annie cried from inside as Finnick rushed in to get her. The next closest room was Johanna’s, and picking up a small metal cart, I threw it at the window of her door, smashing the glass. I then reached through the now open window and unlocked the door, rushing in to undo the restraints that were holding her down.

“Follow Finnick and Annie down to the bunker!” I instructed her, and then I moved onto Peeta’s room. Using the same cart, I smashed open the window to his door and reached in to unlock it, pushing the door open to running to his frightened side.

“Katniss! You need to get out of here!” he shouted at me, struggling to free himself from his restraints, which I did for him.

“Not without you,” I said fiercely, pulling him off of his bed and leading him towards the door, but first, I stopped, then went over to the cabinets searching for something.

“Katniss, what are you doing?” Peeta asked me rather loudly.

“Your medicine! We don’t know how long we’ll be down there for, so you, Johanna and Annie can’t miss a dose!” I replied, stuffing my pockets with at least a week’s dose for all three of them before the pair of us headed out of the hospital, which was somewhat close to the surface. Another bomb hit, shaking the ground beneath the five of us, and we headed towards a set of bright yellow doors that said ‘Emergency Bunker’ on them. Finnick, Annie and Johanna went first, but Peeta stopped just at the top of the tall staircase, sliding down to the floor with his hands tugging at his hair. He was having an episode at the worst possible time. “Peeta!”

“Just go without me! Go!” he cried, panicking and trying hard to fight off the darkness of the venom. I fell to my knees beside him, pulled his hands out of his hair, grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere without you, now stay with me, Peeta!” I shouted at him over the sirens. For a moment, he stared at me silently, the pupils of his eyes shrinking and growing and then finally returning to their normal size.

“Always,” he said in response.

“Come on, let’s go!” I told him, dragging him to his feet, and the pair of us ran as quickly as we possibly could down the stairs. It was a spiral staircase that was at least ten or fifteen stories high, and right when we got to the bottom, the big steel doors that would lock us in were nearly closed. I gripped Peeta’s hand tightly and together, we raced through the door, Peeta’s white hospital outfit nearly getting caught just as it closed. Out of breath, I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly, tears running down my face at the thought of what would have happened had I assumed the hospital staff would have evacuated them as well. I would have been stuck down here, and Peeta likely would have been dead by morning.

“It’s okay,” he told me quietly, holding me equally as tightly in his arms.

“I should be the one comforting you,” I told him, pulling back from the embrace and raising a hand to brush a lock of hair out of his sweet, handsome blue eyes. He gave me a gentle smile, and as I leaned into him to press my lips to his again, a little voice forced our attention elsewhere.

“Daddy?” It was Lark, standing several feet away from us and watching the pair of us as we held each other. Peeta and I both turned our attention to our little girl, who must have escaped from Mellie in the chaos likely looking for me, and when she saw that it was Peeta standing beside me, her little face lit up. “Daddy!” She started to run towards Peeta, and I nervously watched Peeta’s reaction in case he was still fighting off a hijacking episode, but he seemed happier and more himself in that moment that he had throughout his entire time in District Thirteen.

“Lark, honey!” Peeta exclaimed as he bent down and opened his arms for his little girl to run straight into them, and she threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her up, holding her tightly and kissing her beautiful honey golden curls. “Baby, Daddy missed you so much! Oh, I love you, honey...” Peeta cooed to his little girl.

“I love you, too, Daddy!” Lark exclaimed, giving his cheek one of her famous toddler kisses. Peeta had tears of joy running down his cheeks and when I realised that seeing his beloved children was probably the best form of therapy for him after all, I wrapped my arms around my husband and daughter and kissed Peeta’s wet and salty cheek. After a moment of holding her tightly after not seeing her for almost two months, he pulled back to kiss her sweet little face.

“Where’s Maevis, honey?” he asked his older daughter, wanting to see his younger daughter as well.

“With Gramma, over there!” Lark told us, pointing to a block labelled ‘C’ and underneath were the letters ‘M-R.

“Guess that’s where we’re staying,” I said, turning to Peeta and again kissing his cheek. I then ran a hand through Lark’s sweet honey golden curls and smiled at her.

“Let’s go and find Gramma and Maevis, then!” I said, as cheerfully as I could muster so as not to frighten her. As we made our way towards Block C, a guard stood outside of the block and stopped me.

“E’s are in Block A, Ms. Everdeen,” he told me, and I sent him a nasty scowl.

“If someone calls me by that name again, I’ll burn the whole bloody place down myself. Not only is my maiden name _not_ Everdeen, it’s Fòlais, but I am married and my surname is _Mellark_ , so I’ll be joining my family in Block C with the rest of the M’s and you can kiss my ass if you think you can stop me,” I spat at him, and he stepped aside, not saying another word.

“Yeah! Kiss my mama’s ass!” Lark exclaimed, and Peeta shushed her.

“We don’t say that word, honey,” he told his daughter firmly.

“But Mama said it!” Lark whined.

“Mama’s in trouble, too,” Peeta replied, and I scoffed. Suddenly, I spotted Mellie sitting on a bed holding Maevis on her lap, and I gripped Peeta’s arm and pointed.

“There!” I said. I glanced up at Peeta, who seemed nervous to see his mother again. Had he also forgotten that she apologised and changed? “She’s a good person now, Peeta... Remember, she lost your father and brothers, too.”

“I... I know...” he muttered. I led him over to the bunk beds that we as a family were assigned to share.

“Mellie,” I said, attracting Peeta’s mother’s attention, and she looked up at us, her eyes widening when she saw her son for the first time since the day of the bombing.

“Peeta!” she exclaimed, standing up and shifting Maevis onto her hip.

“Daddy!” Maevis cried, reaching out to her father, and Peeta passed Lark to me and took his younger daughter from his mother.

“But Daddy! I want Daddy!” Lark whined, and I ran a hand through her hair.

“Little bird, it’s Maevis’s turn to say hi to Daddy,” I told her, standing beside Peeta as he reunited with his younger daughter.

“Daddy missed you so much, baby,” he said to Maevis, kissing her chocolate brown hair and holding her against his chest. Unlike Lark, Maevis could only stand being held for so long, and when she started to wiggle out of Peeta’s arms, he chuckled and set his daughter down on the bed, then stood and looked at his mother. “Hi, Mom...”

“Oh, Peeta,” Mellie said, closing the distance between her and her only surviving son and wrapping her arms around him. Peeta was stiff for a moment, and then he wrapped his arms loosely around her, the pair of them embracing.

“Come on, _caileagan_ , let’s go and see if we can find Auntie Prim and Uncles Cailean and Calum,” I said to my daughters, and we stepped away from Peeta and his mother, giving them a moment to be together as mother and son.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

I hugged my mother rather loosely, unsure if this was a rare moment of affection or if she really was changed, as Katniss had said. My mother was all I had left of my original family now, same as I was for her, so I wanted to embrace whatever affection she gave me, but still be cautious. “I’ve missed you so much, Peeta,” she told me, then she pulled back from our embrace to look up at me, a warm smile on her face as she ran a hand through my hair, making sure that I was really in front of her.

“I’ve missed you, too, Mom,” I said to her, also feeling myself smile. A moment of silence passed between us, as we were unsure of what to say to each other, then she pulled away from me and sat down on the lower bunk of the bed, patting her hand on the spot beside her for me to sit down, which I did.

“How are you feeling?” she asked me. “Katniss told me about how those monsters in the Capitol put some kind of virus in you...”

“Okay,” I told her, unsure of how best to answer. “Katniss has been helping me.”

“That’s good. She told me that... well... I don’t know if I should tell you this... but she said she believes you don’t love her anymore. And I just want you to get better, Peeta, and that means remembering how much you love her,” my mother told me.

“Mom, please...” I began, but she continued.

“You loved her a lot... and I know I didn’t like her in the beginning, but seeing how much she worried about you when you were gone... Don’t give up on her.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why is everyone telling me I have to love her?” I snapped. I knew that I cared about Katniss, and I knew that we were married with two beautiful children that I know I love very much, but I was still confused by how I felt about Katniss. Sometimes, I thought I could love her, and other times, I felt that what we had was purely platonic. Snow really did a number on me, didn’t he? I didn’t want to talk about this anymore... Instead, I diverted the topic to my mother. “What do you know about love anyway? You didn’t love Dad.”

“That isn’t true,” she told me, her gaze turned towards the ground. “When we got married, it’s true that I didn’t love him, and then I wouldn’t allow myself to love him for over twenty years... but something changed, Peeta, when you came back from the Games... Not immediately, of course... but over the last few years, your father and I... well... we’d grown closer. Before you were reaped, I can count on one hand the number of times I allowed him to touch me in bed, but after... it wasn’t about meeting the two child quota anymore.” She looked up at me, her grey eyes glistening with unshed tears. “On the morning of your last reaping... he told me he loved me.”

“And what did you say?” I asked her. She turned away, her eyes laced with shame, and closed them tightly, trying hard not to allow the one tear that escaped from her eye to fall down her cheek.

“I got scared... I didn’t say anything... but I scolded myself for that all morning and I tried to work up the courage to say it back, but... I was too late. He died in the bombing, Peeta, without ever knowing how I felt.”

“So you... you _did_ love him?” My mother nodded, then looked up and me and raised a hand to rest on my lower left jaw. She smiled and her thumb ran over my cheek.

“You’re so much like him... of all your brothers, you were the only one that ever came out of a moment of love between your father and I, and it shows,” she told me. I opened my mouth to question that statement, but suddenly, I felt a small pair of hands grab my leg and then Lark crawled into my lap, startling me. For a moment, my vision went blurry, but once I realised that it was my beautiful daughter smiling up at me, the blurry edges to my vision went away and I smiled at her.

“Hey, honey bun,” I said, remembering my pet name for her.

“Lark!” I heard Katniss call as she rushed over with Maevis on her hip. “I told you not to run up on Daddy like that, you’ll frighten him!”

“I’m okay, Katniss,” I said, glancing up at my wife, at the woman who everyone told me I had to love. It was obvious to me now how much she loved me. She risked being killed in the bombing and risked being locked out just to rescue me from the hospital and to pull me out of an episode. Everyone always said that Katniss was a survivor and wouldn’t care about anything or anyone else, especially if it risked her life. Well, she risked her life for me twice that day, and she didn’t even think twice about it. I smiled at her as I realised that, perhaps, everyone was right when they said I once loved her.

“Good,” she replied. A rather loud bomb startled us as it rocked the bunker and I tightly embraced my daughter in my arms, and once I realised that it was safe, I loosened my grip and lowered my head to kiss her curls.

“Are Primrose and your brothers okay?” Mom asked Katniss, who nodded.

“Yes, they’re in Block A, with the A through F’s,” she replied. “Freya, too, and Haymitch and Carolina. Lucky them, they’re all together.”

“What about Gale and his family?” I felt compelled to ask, and she let out a sigh, telling me that it was the wrong thing to ask.

“As much as I adore Gale’s family, I’m not setting foot near him. I don’t want him near me,” she replied.

The bombing continued for several hours, and in that time, Katniss had left me and Mom with the girls while she went to fetch our supplies kit, which included a separate mattress. “I’ll take the mattress on the floor and you, Mom and the girls can take the beds,” I insisted.

“Peeta, you and Katniss should take the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor,” Mom chimed in, but I wouldn’t hear of it.

“We both wouldn’t fit,” I said, although truth to be told, I didn’t really want to share a bed with Katniss, and she knew that. At least, I didn’t think it would be wise. What if I attacked her in the middle of the night? No, it wouldn’t be smart for us to share a bed, even if I did miss her arms around me... and the scent of her hair - lavender and pine, like the earth after a hunt... and the feel of her warm lips on mine... What was I thinking? No, we can’t share a bed, and that is final. In the end, Mom slept on the upper bunk with Maevis, who adored her grandmother, and Lark ended up sleeping on the lower bunk with Katniss. Lark wanted to sleep with me on the floor, but I wouldn’t let her, so she insisted on sleeping on the lower bunk so she could be closer to me. I swear, the only person in the world who truly loved me unconditionally and never asked anything from me was Lark, who was nearly a carbon copy of me.

I couldn’t sleep, not through the bombing. Every so often, the bunker would shake with another bomb that fell nearby. Lying on another mattress on the floor not too far was Johanna and Finnick, who seemed to be in the same boat I was, and I thought about joining them, but a voice distracted me. “Can’t sleep?” Katniss asked me, and I turned my head to look at her. “Doesn't have anything to do with the hardness of the floor, does it?” She was trying to joke with me.

“The sound of the bombs puts me to sleep, but yes, the floor is making that difficult,” I replied sarcastically.

“We can’t sleep, either,” Katniss told me.

“We?” I asked, and then Lark sat up next to Katniss.

“Daddy, I don’t like the bombs,” she whined quietly.

“Someone’s not a Mummy’s girl, I’m afraid,” Katniss told me, sitting up along with her daughter. I let out a sigh, then sat up, pulled myself to stand, then sat down on the lower bunk next to my wife and daughter, my daughter crawling into my lap wanting to be held. Katniss ran a hand through her honey golden curls and smiled down at our beautiful daughter. Another loud bomb went off nearby, causing several children to scream, including Maevis above us, who was then comforted by my mother, and then a vast majority of the block was awake. The bombs were almost constant, and we all knew that we weren’t getting any sleep that night.

Suddenly, the sound of a guitar playing in the bunk next to us began, and when Katniss and I looked up, we saw two young women, one of them, a blonde, playing the guitar that was making the noise, and beside her was a red headed girl, who watched her blonde companion carefully. The blonde, after a moment, then took a breath, and began to sing.

_“Dacw ‘nghariad i lawr yn y berllan,_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal,_

_O na bawn i yno fy hunan,_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal..._

_Dacw’r tŷ, a dacw’r ‘sgubor;_

_Dacw ddrws y beudy’n agor.”_

The red headed woman then joined the blonde in the lyrics to the song that none of us knew the language to. I thought Katniss might, but apparently, other languages were spoken in Hebridia.

_“Ffadl radl didl dal, ffaldi radl didl dal,_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal...”_

The blonde played the guitar on its own for a little bit before continuing to sing on her own. It was strange to hear this rather melancholy, haunting folk song in the middle of a firebombing, but it was, oddly, soothing.

_“Dacw’r dderwen wych ganghennog,_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal,_

_Golwg arni sydd dra serchog._

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal._

_Mi arhosaf yn ei chysgod_

_Nes daw ‘nghariad i ‘ngyfarfod...”_

The redhead joined her again.

_“Ffadl radl didl dal, ffaldi radl didl dal,_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal...”_

Again, the blonde played the guitar for a moment on her own. “I don’t recognise the language,” Katniss whispered to me. “Maybe a little... We called it ‘ _cuimreach’._ They speak it on an island called ‘ _a’ Chuimrigh’_.” The blonde began to sing again.

_“Dacw’r delyn, dacw’r tannau;_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal,_

_Beth wyf gwell, heb neb i’w chwarae?_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal._

_Dacw’r feinwen hoenus fanwl;_

_Beth wyf well heb gael ei meddwl?”_

For the last chorus, the two women again sang together.

_“Ffadl radl didl dal, ffaldi radl didl dal,_

_Tw rym di ro rym di radl didl dal...”_

As the blonde played them out on her guitar, a few people who were listening nearby clapped their hands, including us. “Wait a second, I recognise you!” Katniss said, speaking specifically to the redhead. “Ribinnean Muirreach?” The redheaded girl smiled and nodded.

“Katniss Fòlais, _bha iongnadh orm cuin a dh’aithnicheadh tu mi,”_ said the red headed girl in Katniss’s native Gàidhlig. Katniss smiled, then looked at me - I could feel one of her hands on my lower back.

“Peeta, this is my childhood friend, Ribinnean Muirreach. Do you remember I told you about her and showed you that photograph?” she asked me. I wracked my brain for a moment, trying to recall a time when she could have possibly told me about this childhood friend of hers. “We were in the woods, in the treehouse... I showed you a photograph that my mother had sent with another refugee to my uncle.”

_She took the photos from my hand and shifted them, now showing me a photograph of Katniss and her three brothers, along with another little girl and boy, holding up some crabs. I couldn’t help but smile at the image, as it was quite adorable. “Cailean, Calum, Dòmh and myself with my childhood friend, Ribinnean Muirreach and her little brother. We used to catch crùbagan, put them to sleep by rubbing their bellies and put on puppet shows with them.”_

“The crabs...” I muttered quietly, glancing up at her, and she smiled and nodded.

“Yes, Peeta, we used to do crab puppet shows together. We also would sing together sometimes, or at least, our mothers did,” she told me, looking back at her friend. “Ribinnean, this is my husband, Peeta Mellark.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Peeta. I’ve seen a lot of you on the screens but it’s nice to finally meet you in person,” the girl, Ribinnean, said to me cheerfully. “This is my fried, Carys Orwelyn, by the way. She came from A’ Chuimrigh to us in Hebridia but to her, it was called Cymru.”

“Nice to meet you both,” said Carys in a sing-songy voice.

“You, too, both of you... and you both have very lovely voices,” I said, trying to be polite, and the two girls exchanged a glance before looking back at us.

“That’s kind of you to say, but none of were ever as good as the Èibhinndùns. Katniss’s mother was probably one of the best singers in Hebridia, if not _the_ best, and Katniss inherited her talent,” Ribinnean said. I looked at Katniss, remembering that beautiful voice she had when she sang to our little girls, and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face.

“Yeah, I know she does,” I said, and then I looked at the two women in front of me. “When she first came to Panem, she didn’t speak a word of English, but her uncle must have taught her what we call the Valley Song, because when the teacher asked if anyone knew it, her hand shot right up.”

“Peeta,” said Katniss, knowing exactly what story I was going to tell and likely wanting me to stop, but I couldn’t. I needed to hear myself say it, I needed someone else to hear me say it, and I needed to finish my story or else it may be gone forever.

“Before that day, my father had pointed her out to me and told me that he almost married her mother - well, aunt, but everyone knew not to question the Capitol when they said that Katniss’s aunt was her mother. Anyway, he said that her aunt fell in love with her uncle for his voice, because when Archie Everdeen sang, the birds would stop singing. When Katniss sang the Valley Song, I looked out the window at the morning larks that were perched in the trees... and sure enough, they stopped singing.” I turned my head to then look at Katniss, who’s eyes were glossy and somewhat red. “It was when I knew... I knew that I fell in love with her...”

“Peeta,” she muttered quietly, smiling up at me.

“I wish I could find love like that,” Carys said to Ribinnean, who chuckled.

“Please, you have Douglas,” Ribinnean teased.

“Don’t get me started on that rat!” Carys exclaimed back, but Katniss and I were too busy meeting each other’s eyes to pay attention to them. I leaned in towards her, unable to stop myself, but truth to be told, I really didn’t want to stop myself. The Capitol tried so hard to make me stop loving her... but they failed. My love for Katniss Everdeen Fòlais - no, Katniss _Mellark_ \- was too strong for the Capitol to take from me, and hers was strong enough for me to learn how to fall in love with her all over again. I hated that it took a song in the middle of a bombing to realise that, but it didn’t matter now. I loved Katniss, and I wanted to show her by kissing her - but that didn’t happen. Not yet, at least. A little hand reached up and tugged on my shirt, preventing me from going any further and reminding me that there was a child in my lap.

“Daddy, I’m sleepy, but the bombs are scary,” my little girl told me, and I smiled warmly at her.

“It’s okay, honey bun. Mama and Daddy won’t let the mean old nasty bombs get you!” I told her, tickling her sides a little, and she giggled.

“I can sleep on the floor,” Katniss said, knowing that Lark wanted to sleep with me, but I stopped her as she moved.

“No...” I said. “There’s room enough for all of us.” The three of us snuggled up together on the bed, with Katniss and I each on our sides with Lark cradled between us. I rested one of my arms across Katniss’s hip, my other beneath her head, and she cradled my head beneath the palm of her hand. We each kissed Lark’s honey golden curls goodnight, and though it was a fitful sleep, we dozed off together.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

I woke up with my face buried in a warm chest - Peeta’s - and I slowly lifted my head to look up at him. He was still deep in sleep, and looked so peaceful, handsome and innocent, untouched by the horrors of the Games and the Capitol. I didn’t want to wake him, but I couldn’t resist lifting my head just a little to kiss his lower jaw ever so feather lightly, but he stirred anyway. His beautiful blue eyes fluttered open and sought out mine, a sleepy smile spreading across his face.

“Morning,” he muttered.

“Good morning to you,” I told him, one of my hands rising to brush a lock of his honey golden curls out of his sky blue eyes. “We seem to be missing our little barrier.”

“So it seems,” Peeta replied, lifting his head and glancing around, not seeing Lark, Maevis or even his mother anywhere. “Mom must have them...” He looked down at me, a boyish grin on his face. “I think we got... interrupted... last night.”

“We did, a little, didn’t we?” I asked him, playing along. I missed his playful flirting so much, so I wasn’t going to ruin the moment by questioning him. He began to lower his head, and right when our lips were about to touch, two little bodies jumped on top of us, excitedly crying out ‘mama’ and ‘daddy’ to us. Not even missing a beat, Peeta sat up and opened his arms to our daughters, who crawled into his waiting arms.

“Good morning, my beautiful girls!” he said to them, kissing both of their foreheads. “Did you go somewhere with Gramma?”

“We went to get breakfast. I’m sorry they jumped on you, we didn’t want to disturb you,” Mellie told us, standing awkwardly beside the bed.

“We were already awake,” I told her, turning to my handsome husband holding our beautiful daughters. “Oh, Peeta, I’ve got to give you your medicine! And Annie and Johanna, too. Mellie, would you mind taking the girls elsewhere for a few minutes?”

“If they’ll let me,” Mellie replied. “Come on, girls. Why don’t we go and see Auntie Prim?” Excited to see their aunt, who loved to spoil them, Lark and Maevis hopped off of the bed and happily followed their grandmother. I reached into the pocket of my jumpsuit, where the vials of antiretrovirals were, and stood.

“Come with me to the medical block, I’ll get this in a syringe and give you your dose,” I told him. We had to fetch Johanna and Annie as well, and when I had all three of them in the medical block, I gave them each their doses.

“Funny seeing you here,” came Cailean’s voice, surprising me.

“Great, Tweedle Dumber is here,” I said, teasing my younger brother.

“Clever thinking, grabbing their medicine,” he told me. “I wish there was a way to do a blood test to check the virus count, but we don’t have the right calibrations or machinery down here.”

“I think they’re doing fine and dandy,” I said. Suddenly, the entire hall went silent. Everyone glanced up towards the ceiling, which was no longer shaking. We’d realised that it had been at least sixty seconds since the last bomb went off, and we all held our breath as we waited to hear another sound - there wasn’t one. “Bombing’s stopped...”

“So it has,” said Cailean, still looking at the ceiling, then he shouted out to the main area of the bunker. “Can someone get a radio to Coin?”

“On it!” came the shouting voice of Commander Jackson.

“It’s strange how we haven’t heard from her... She usually gives us announcements when we’re down here, lets us know what’s going on and when it’s safe to come up,” Cailean had said.

“You’ve been bombed before?” I asked him.

“No, not in seventy-nine years. We’ve done drills, though. This is the first time that it’s been real,” Cailean told me. I suppose it was unusual, then, that Coin was so quiet. It didn’t surprise me that she had the ability to communicate with us down here. She clearly enjoyed being in control and exercised every possible ounce of power that she could, but then if she had that ability, why wasn’t she using it? I was certain she’d love to be our beacon in the dark telling us the bombing was over and that it was safe to come out, but alas, she was silent.

And she continued to be silent for two days after that. There hadn’t been a single bomb in the last two days, and not a single word from Coin, either. Being the Mockingjay, I had the privilege of being a part of command meetings, so I joined in on one between Commander Jackson, Calum, Freya and Carolina as they discussed our next course of action. “We’re running low on supplies. We can’t stay locked in here for much longer,” Carolina was saying.

“We can’t leave until we have clearance from President Coin,” Commander Jackson replied.

“What if we don’t _get_ that clearance, Commander? What if she... What if she’s dead?” Calum chimed in.

“That’s impossible. The Command Room is the strongest and safest room in the district. There’s no way any bunker busters got through there,” Commander Jackson replied.

“Nothing’s impossible, especially not when we were bombed consistently for eighteen hours straight. Drop a bomb on the most fortified room in the world enough times and, well... eventually, the walls might crack,” Calum told her.

“So send up a team first,” I chimed in. “Check out the damage, scope out the Command Room and see what’s keeping President Coin so quiet.”

“I’ll lead it,” Freya said ambitiously.

“You will not, Soldier Deshannon, you’ll go under me. Soldier Fòlais will also come and Soldier Abernathy, stay here and keep order,” Commander Jackson ordered. Carolina appeared a bit dejected, but nodded nonetheless. “Soldier Fòlais, summon Soldier Hawthorne as well.”

“Yes, Commander,” said Calum, running off in search of Gale. And so the team went up, and within an hour, they were back down.

“This part of the district is unstable, we need to evacuate the bunker. Calmly and efficiently,” Commander Jackson ordered those that she had assigned as Block Leaders. Carolina was in charge of Block A, Calum of Block B, Freya of Block C, Gale of Block D and another man who’s name I’ve forgotten of Block E. Each block was evacuated one at a time, slowly and carefully, and the people were instructed to wait at the surface, where it was safest from the damage that had been done inside of the district.

When Block C was evacuated, Peeta took Lark and Mellie took Maevis, while I simply examined the damage that had been done. Whole corridors were completely smashed through, and there was so much destruction. The top five floors had been completely obliterated. The sixth through ninth floors had structural damage, and everything underneath the tenth floor was fine, but of course, teams had to go in and clear the damage before anyone was allowed in.

Weapons development had been obliterated. All of our hovercrafts were gone, save for a few that were stored in a cave about ten miles away from the district, along with every piece of tech that had been invented. The nuclear warheads that Thirteen had been hiding were much, much farther underground and were safe, but we had nothing to use them with. The hospital was gone, too, and it made my chest tighten just a little knowing that if I hadn’t rescued Peeta, he most certainly would have been crushed, and that thought made me hold his hand a little tighter. The science lab had been on Sublevel Seven, so it had structural damage, but it would be all right. That meant that Cailean and I could continue the venom vaccine, when we were cleared to go back inside.

The surface, on the other hand, was an absolute wreck. If one thought, from watching Capitol broadcasts over the years, that Thirteen was a mess of destruction before, it was even worse now. Perhaps it was because what had once been visible columns and foundations of old buildings was reduced to nothing but unidentifiable rubble, or it was the large collection of pungent genetically engineered pure white roses that littered the ground - a present from Snow.

When all of the blocks were evacuated, Calum pulled me aside to stand in a huddled group with Freya, Carolina, Commander Jackson and Haymitch, all of their faces looking grave. Well, Commander Jackson, Calum and Carolina looked rather bleak - Haymitch was clearly faking his dismay, but there was a suspicious glint in his eye. Freya seemed completely unmoved, but did appear a little angrier than usual. “Katniss... You’re the Mockingjay, and we need your help,” Carolina began. She was clearly the best for delivering bad news. “The Command Room... it was on Sublevel Three... It’s been completely obliterated, along with Mr. Heavensbee, Commander Boggs and... and President Coin.”

“She... She’s dead?” I asked, and Carolina nodded.

“We thought it best if... if you announced it. These people... they look up to you. The districts might not have faith in Thirteen, but Thirteen has faith in you. Please, Katniss... Speak to the people,” she asked me, and I couldn’t deny her. The districts might have frozen me out a long time ago, but District Thirteen clearly never had. I can’t say I was heartbroken that Coin had been killed in the firebombing, but it still must have been a terrible way to go. I looked at the eyes of Carolina, Calum and Commander Jackson, so full of hope and naivety, and then I glanced at Haymitch and Freya, who looked at me with confidence. I then turned around to look at Peeta, holding both of our daughters on his lap. He must have felt my eyes on him, for he looked up and understood immediately what had happened, then gave me an encouraging smile and subtle nod. Prim was beside him, and she didn’t know what was going on, but she smiled at me anyway. I turned back to the group in front of me that was waiting for an answer.

“Okay,” I said with a nod.

“The floor’s yours, sweetheart,” said Haymitch. The team must have talked to Cressida and her crew while the districts were being bombed because they were set up with a camera in front of me. I didn’t look glammed up and perfect like I had in Coin’s propos - I looked tired, dirty and disheveled, as if I hadn’t slept in days. Cressida pinned a microphone to my jumpsuit.

“Easier to talk to three thousand people when they can all hear you,” she said with a friendly smile. Perhaps Cressida wasn’t all bad after all, she was just required to do Coin’s bidding, same as me. Cailean appeared at my side and gave me an encouraging squeeze on the shoulder, and then he and Calum together boosted me up to help me climb up onto a column that used to belong to the Justice Building that had once stood to represent District Thirteen in Panem. I cleared my throat to test the microphone, and then three thousand sets of eyes all turned to me when they heard the sound. I’d had thousands of eyes on me before, but this... this felt different, somehow. I wasn’t being scrutinised by President Snow to keep quiet, I was being encouraged by friends and family to speak loudly. And so I did.

“People of Thirteen... it has been a long and gruelling couple of days... but we’ve made it through. You all have, every single one of you,” I began, looking around at the crowd. “We are all dirty, tired, underslept, in need of a good shower... but we are all alive, our spirits unable to be quelled by President Snow and his regime. But I don’t believe his goal was to kill us. It was to frighten us more than anything, and we must not let him see us fearful.” I paused for a moment. “Unfortunately, and I do hate having to say this, President Snow has still given us a reason to mourn... Our very own Plutarch Heavensbee, Commander Boggs and... and President Coin herself... were all killed in the bombing.” Half of the crowd erupted into angry screams, a small portion began to sob, and the rest were either silent or expressed discontent. “All right, all right, calm down, please...”

“What are we going to do now? We have no leader!” cried someone from near the front of the crowd.

“And our home is destroyed! We can’t rebuild that in time! The rebellion is bust!” shouted someone else. I tried to get a couple of words in, but the crowd grew louder and louder, until I finally had had enough.

“ _SHUT IT!”_ I shouted very loudly into the microphone, and the crowd went silent, my voice echoing off of the nearby mountains. “Right, listen here! I know you’re scared. We don’t know what’s going to happen to us now. Our leaders have been killed, our home bombed to bits... every semblance of safety has been ripped from us and we don’t know where to go from here, but that is no excuse to start yelling at each other and it’s certainly no excuse to give up hope.” I paused for a moment, waiting to see if someone would interrupt me before continuing. “Coin may be dead, but the rebellion is more alive now than ever. There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done - a lot of districts that need to be convinced to join us - but as a girl, who I considered a friend, once said... fire is catching... We’ve been wounded, not silenced, and for now, we’ll retreat and lick our wounds until we are strong enough to fight back, and we will be. This isn’t the end, so don’t give up now. We’ll fight for liberty, for peace, for the future generations... Some of us may not live to see the free Panem, but our children might. Our grandchildren might. And we do this for them. We fight for _their_ future, and we won’t rest until the future generations are free.”

There was less discontent, still some unhappy murmurs, but for the most part, the people of Thirteen were clapping their hands and cheering. Cressida made sure to pan the camera on them to record their response to my speech. When it was over and done, my brothers helped me down from the column and I handed the microphone back to Cressida. “Got what you need?” I asked her. This was one propo I didn’t mind filming. She smiled and nodded.

“Yup indeed! The studio was on the seventh and eighth floors, so it should just have some structural damage. Once it’s safe to enter, I’ll edit this and we’ll send it out to the districts,” she told me. “Plutarch would be proud. He knew you had it in you to inspire the districts - Coin was just getting in your way.” She winked at me, and I glanced around to make sure no one had been listening to her.

“We still have a lot of districts to convince... Last I checked, after Twelve and Four got firebombed and Seven put on a strict lockdown, no other districts are on our side. We’ve got a lot of work cut out for us,” I replied.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” Cressida said confidently. “Your husband’s coming. Should I film that? The ‘star-crossed lovers’ together again and showing strength after the bombing?” I chuckled and shook my head.

“No... Leave the ‘Star-Crossed Lovers’ for the puppet masters. Our strings have been cut now. Peeta and I won’t dance for anyone but each other now,” I replied. She gave me a knowing smile and a nod, then left to give Peeta and I a moment to ourselves as I turned to face him. “How’re you feeling? Are you handling everything okay?” I asked him, raising a hand to brush a piece of hair off of his forehead.

“I’ll be fine,” he said. He then glanced out at the people, watching as a volunteer repair crew was being put together to try and at least keep the upper floors sturdy for the night so they didn’t collapse on us in our sleep. “I almost had a flashback, when I came up here and smelled the roses...” He then looked at me. “But I didn’t... I realised that if you want to fight for the freedom of so many people, knowing that you might not even live to see the end of it... you can’t be all that bad.”

“All that bad, hm?” I asked, teasing him, and he smiled down at me. “We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us, Peeta... It's going to be difficult. Things are going to change. Nothing’s going to be the same as it was before, and from this point forward, nothing is going to be easy. We have no one to lead us but ourselves, and we’re all so young. I need you, Peeta, now more than I ever have before, and that’s not to say I didn’t badly need you before. I’ve always needed you... but now... I don’t know where I’m going. I’m flying completely blind, and I’m going to be expected to lead the rebellion, now that Coin is gone. Promise me something, will you?”

“Anything,” he replied.

“Help me help you get better. Help me finish the vaccine and help me by trying your best to restore your memories. Don’t hesitate to ask me if something is real and if something isn’t. Can you promise me that?”

“I promise, Katniss. I promise I’ll be there by your side... and I’m sorry I left it.”

“No, Peeta, you never did,” I told him, wrapping my arms firmly around his neck. His arms snaked their way around my waist, holding me tightly against his chest.

“I did... I forgot how much I love you,” he told me, pulling back to look at me. “But I’ll do everything I can to remind myself of that. I think I’ll start with this...” With that said, his hands made their way to either side of my face, and he lowered his head so that his lips were over mine, my lower lip locked between his upper and lower lips as he kissed me with all of the love that he held for me in his heart. It wasn’t our most passionate kiss, but it was the kiss that I was most grateful for because it meant that everything was going to be okay again. We would never be the same again, Peeta and I... but then again, neither was the world.

Everything was going to change, but at least Peeta and I had each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How will Snow react to successfully killing Coin? Will the rebellion fall flat, or is this the beginning of a new season for the rebellion? Now designated as a leader of the rebellion, what will Katniss do for it?
> 
> Please review!


	11. Living On Borrowed Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thirteen recovers after the bombing. Katniss has an idea for the future of the rebellion, but becomes distracted by Peeta’s health.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

It would take several weeks for the volunteer crews to clear out the rubble that made the upper five floors uninhabitable, which meant that we would have to make ourselves function on the lower floors. The cafeteria was on the fifth floor and wasn’t completely obliterated, but it was dangerously unsafe for so many people to be in there. The kitchens were the first to be cleared and any equipment that could have been salvaged was brought down to a cleared-out storeroom to be used as a makeshift kitchen on the eighth floor. The studio, being the largest room that was still intact, was cleared out and turned into a makeshift hospital, although there were no individual rooms. Patients who need around the clock care would stay in the makeshift hospital while others would simply be treated in their rooms by medical staff. Because the Command Room was destroyed, we set up camp for all of our official command meetings in the science lab, where pretty much only scientists and the command staff of Thirteen had access to anyway. Those who didn’t have access, such as Carolina and Freya, would simply have to wait for one of us who did have access, such as Commander Jackson, Calum, Cailean and myself. The main computers that controlled and oversaw all of the administration stuff were destroyed in the Command Room and would have to be rebuilt, but Cailean and Beetee were already on that.

Because he agreed to help me work on the vaccine, even though he didn’t know what he was doing, Peeta spent a lot of time with me in the science lab while Cailean and I worked on the vaccine, completing small tasks that he was asked to do. A lot of the time, he was simply observing the tests under the microscope and drawing what he observed, which were quite exceptional drawings. We held off on command meetings for about a week after the bombing to rehome those who lived on the upper floors, sort out what rooms would be used to replace rooms like the cafeteria, hospital, command room, weapons development and more, and to focus on recovery - Commander Jackson led these efforts. She was excellent at dealing with trouble on the battlefield, however, she made it clear that politics weren’t her thing.

“I can’t lead a rebellion and I can’t lead District Thirteen. I can’t stay here hiding behind a screen watching everything, I need to be out there on the field,” she’d told me on one of the first days. “After that speech you gave when we came back up... you’re the only person who can lead this rebellion.”

“I’m not a leader. Everyone should know that, after all my years of bowing down to Snow,” I’d told her.

“Soldier Mellark, there’s a difference between being a follower and being obedient out of fear when you’re practically a prisoner. You’re free now, and you’re nothing like the Katniss Everdeen we’ve been watching on the screens for the last four years. You’re not a follower, you are most definitely a leader,” Jackson had told me, and so I became the designated leader of the rebellion, while Jackson sort of became the unofficial leader of District Thirteen, for a little while. She made sure I knew that she would stand down once the disaster response efforts were finished.

As for our hijacking victims, the active virus count in their blood had reduced significantly thanks to the antiretrovirals. All three of them were now under 15% of active virus, with Johanna’s count still being the highest at 14.97% and Peeta’s still being the lowest at 12.34%. We would likely never get them down to 0% of active virus, even with the venom vaccine expelling the venom from their bodies, and there would still be days where we saw a slight increase in active virus count.

Ten days had passed since we resurfaced from the bunker - September the eleventh, to be exact - and Cailean declared that we had a completed trial vaccine. It was based on the third formula that he had developed, and it was made from the venom that Calum had brought back from the Capitol, meaning it was meant for Annie’s virus. “I can grow a flesh cube in forty-eight hours made from a sample of Annie’s DNA, and we can test the vaccine on that,” he’d said. Peeta looked horrified at Cailean’s statement and his bright blue eyes were wide at the declaration.

“What the hell is a flesh cube?” he asked.

“It’s basically a piece of artificially grown vascular tissue with a small heart and set of lungs and a fleshy outer skin. It’s kind of like a small person, except it has no brain and it can’t feel anything, unless you grow nerves and in which case, it needs a brainstem. Those take a bit longer to grow, but we don’t need one with a brainstem. Just a cardiovascular system!” Cailean explained excitedly, as if it were a totally normal thing to grow a flesh cube.

“That sounds very... creepy... but a very good idea, considering we don’t know what this vaccine will do. Get a sample of Annie’s DNA, then, and grow it and in forty-eight hours, we’ll test it. In the meantime, we’ll keep working on the other formulas as well, so we waste no time,” I replied. I turned back to the notepad in front of me, on which I was writing out the chemical formula for an ingredient needed for the fifth formula.

“You’re such a good leader,” Peeta complimented me, and I glanced up at him and smiled.

“You’re one to talk. I wouldn’t be here as I am if it weren’t for you. You’re the golden-tongued one here,” I told him.

“Those people aren’t looking to me, Katniss. They’re looking to you,” he replied. “You’re the one that’s going to lead us to victory.”

“You’re all mad, trusting a twenty-year-old with fronting a rebellion,” I responded.

“You’re a twenty-year-old with more life experiences than a huge portion of the population. You’re pretty much the only person meant to lead the rebellion,” he replied, taking my hand in his and giving it a squeeze. “Look at you, surviving not only one Hunger Games but two... travelling to all the districts and knowing the Capitol better than anyone else...”

“By that definition, every victor should be leading this rebellion,” I told him, and as the words left my mouth, I realised that that was actually not a terrible idea. We hadn’t had a command meeting regarding the rebellion since I was asked to announce Coin’s death. Not long after that announcement was made and Cressida edited and broadcast it as a propo, Snow made the announcement that he had killed the leader of the rebellion and that he would soon kill me, which made me scoff. I wished him luck in trying. Soon, we would have to answer the question that we had left unanswered at the very start of the restoration process: what was going to happen with the rebellion?

On the eleventh day, in the morning, I called for a command meeting, which would take place in the science lab until the room that we had designated for the new Command Room on the eleventh floor was prepared. In addition to Commander Jackson, Carolina, Calum and Freya, I called for Haymitch, Annie, Johanna, Peeta and Finnick as well.

“I don’t know how to lead a rebellion,” I started off the meeting. “I know everyone thinks that I do, and that everyone claims that I’m the best equipped, but I have no idea what I’m doing, and you all know that. But, like you, I have faith in the rebellion, and I have faith that we can look back on the history of the rebellion not only seventy-nine years ago, but under Coin’s regime as well. I believe we should look at their failures and try to figure out what had been done wrong that led to them becoming failures.”

“That’s an excellent idea,” said Freya.

“Coin’s regime failed because she was selfish and wanted all of the power to herself,” I continued. “There was hardly any district support, except for the three districts that pledged their support to her - Four, Seven and Twelve. Coin failed to get the support of the other districts, although as of this morning, District Eight has engaged in an active rebellion against the Capitol. Their leaders, however, were not in support of Coin. District Eight is rebelling for themselves. Why didn’t District Eight back District Thirteen in the rebellion?”

“Because nothing Coin promised would actually benefit them,” Peeta said from his place across the table.

“That’s exactly correct. Nothing Coin promised could tempt the districts, so the districts paid her no heed. Why would they? What has District Thirteen done for them?” I asked everyone.

“We orchestrated your rescue,” said Commander Jackson as if I had been ungrateful.

“Which was much appreciated, but why did Thirteen do that? It certainly wasn’t for me. Coin said to me that it wasn’t me she wanted to rescue in the first place. She wanted to use me and the other Victors as game pieces, but the districts don’t want game pieces,” I replied to Commander Jackson.

“They want someone who will fight for them, not for vengeance against President Snow,” Freya chimed in.

“Not  _ just _ for vengeance against Snow,” said Johanna. “Wanting to kill Snow isn’t a bad thing.”

“I don’t want to kill Snow,” I said, and this time, all eyes looked at me with surprise. “I’ll gladly lock him up for all of eternity, but I don’t want to kill him. Death is the easy way out of paying for his crimes. He’s lived a life of luxury all his life, let him live the life of a prisoner.”

“You really don’t want to kill Snow? After all he’s done?” Peeta asked me, as if in disbelief.

“I don’t want to kill anyone,” I replied. “Now, the first rebellion. Why did that fail?”

“The districts weren’t unified. It was every district for itself and there was a lot of in-fighting,” said Carolina. “The first whispers of rebellion happened in 2070, when the districts expressed discontent at the Capitol’s treatment of them. In 2079, Thirteen seceded from the Capitol. Then Four, Six, Seven and Twelve in 2080, and in 2081, Five, Eight, Nine, Ten and Eleven. In 2082, Districts One, Two and Three seceded. Between the first secession of Thirteen and when the Capitol won in 2085, a couple of districts were allied, but it wasn’t thirteen districts fighting as one against the Capitol, it was several districts fighting separately against the Capitol, and the Capitol influenced Districts One and Two, obliterated Districts Six, Eight and Thirteen and blockaded Districts Three, Five and Twelve until they slowly starved to death. It was easy. There was no one to defend those Districts, so they waved their white flags and surrendered to the Capitol to avoid starvation. And soon, people from those districts were recruited to help the war effort against the remaining districts and the Capitol had an easy victory.”

“So there’s our second problem,” I said when Carolina was finished with her history lesson. “Our first mistake was allowing one person to lead the rebellion with unchecked power. Our second mistake was not unifying the districts. Correct those two mistakes and, maybe... we’ll win the rebellion.”

“So what do you suggest?” Calum asked me.

“I propose a board of some sort, with representation from all of the districts, Thirteen included. I also believe that, at least from districts One through Twelve, the representatives should be whatever Victors are left, since the Victors are the ones who know the Capitol and the rest of Panem better than anyone,” I replied.

“Like a senate,” said Carolina, and I nodded and smiled.

“Yes, a senate sounds much better than a board. The senate will then make all the decisions regarding the rebellion. No more will there be a single leader behind the rebellion. It’ll be however many minds make up the senate versus just one mind representing the Capitol - Snow’s,” I said.

“But we don’t have enough Victors for that,” Finnick chimed in. “We only have representation from Two, Three, Four, Seven, Twelve and Thirteen. Nothing more.”

“There were nine other Victors who escaped from the Capitol. They haven’t been found yet. Perhaps we could focus on them?” Beetee asked the group.

“We have no idea where they are,” Commander Jackson replied. “If you go looking for them, then it’ll be a waste of time.”

“I don’t see trying to unite the districts under one flag in an attempt to overthrow Snow and win the rebellion as a waste of time,” I said to her. “Who were the other Victors that survived the escape?”

“Lenerok Kifflin. His name never appeared during the broadcast,” Freya said. “Odeon Avisdee, too.”

“Dravius Pillock,” said Beetee.

“Pascasia Mazarinne,” said Cailean. “I remember thinking her name was cool.”

“Ellorah Harpernet, Rufus Ripley,” said Finnick, counting off on his fingers. “Zosia Verity, Cytherea Lewes... Chase Winters, from my own district...”

“Prodigy Prelius, Aristotle Archer and Clarabella Dustin,” Haymitch chimed in after being silent throughout the meeting.

“That isn’t nine, that’s twelve,” I said. “How did we go from nine to twelve?”

“Snow said nine had been kidnapped. Maybe to make it seem less threatening?” Freya asked.

“I suppose so,” I replied. “So we find them and convince them to join the Senate.”

“Where would they have gone, though? Once they got out of the Capitol, where could they have possibly gone?” asked Finnick.

“There’s no way they’d be foolish enough to return to their home districts,” said Freya. “There’s violence in District Eight, you say? I say we start there.”

“That’s no indication that the other Victors are there. They’ve probably split up, too. It wouldn’t be smart to travel in a group of twelve,” said Commander Jackson.

“Eight could be a start. One of the escapees, Zosia Verity, is from District Eight,” I replied.

“We don’t have a lot of weapons,” Commander Jackson warned.

“We don’t need weapons. We’re not joining the fight, we’re looking to restart a rebellion,” I told her.

“We’ll need weapons to protect ourselves,” Commander Jackson replied.

“Bare minimum. We’re not going to war, not yet,” I told her.

“I think we should send in a couple of teams to travel the districts and look for the refugees,” Carolina chimed in. “One team handles the eastern districts, one team handles the western. Who knows, maybe some of them escaped to District Twelve knowing it was probably being ignored by the Capitol.”

“It’s been nearly three weeks since they escaped, they could be in Twelve by now,” said Calum.

“As soon as we have access to the hovercrafts, I think we should plan accordingly,” I said. “For now, focus on finishing cleaning up Thirteen. We can’t bring the other Victors back to a structure that’s in danger of caving in and crushing them.” The meeting was dismissed, and as soon as everyone left, Cailean and I resumed working on the vaccine. Peeta stayed to help, although he seemed to appear very lost in thought. “You all right?” I asked him.

“Yeah, just thinking,” he replied. I reached over from where I was sitting to grasp his hand in mine and gave it a bit of a squeeze.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked him, and he just shrugged.

“A lot... Yesterday, I started going to classes that are offered here. The first class of the day was a Gàidhlig language class. I feel like there were more refugees in Twelve than there are here,” he began. I raised an eyebrow in confusion - that was what had him all melancholy?

“Twelve had a bunch of refugees that came over at different times. Thirteen has a batch of refugees from one ship - the same ship that I came over on. The one that wrecked... All Hebridean refugees that are here that didn’t come from Twelve came from that ship,” I told him. “That’s what’s got you all confused?”

“My mother’s of Hebridean descent... is that real or not real?” he asked me suddenly, startling me for a second.

“That... that’s real,” I said, recovering from the sudden change of topic. “Peeta, love, are you sure you’re all right?”

“She said she used to hate refugees... This whole time, she was the child of one,” Peeta replied bitterly.

“Peeta, she’s not the same woman she was that you knew growing up. You know that,” I tried to tell him, but then I noticed his pupils were dilated, meaning he was in the midst of a mild episode. I didn’t want to freak him out and risk making it worse, so I didn’t move my hand from his. Instead, I decided to distract him. “You have two beautiful daughters that you love very much, real or not real?”

“How is that relevant?” he snapped, looking up at me with his dilated eyes.

“Real or not real?” I repeated calmly. His pupils seemed to get a little smaller as he thought about our daughters.

“Real... You’re their mother, real or not real?”

“Very real. You were there with me for both of their births. Do you remember? Maevis was born in the Capitol, and her birth was traumatising for us both... but Lark was born at home, in our bed.”

“Lark was conceived in the Capitol... real or not real?”

“Real, unfortunately... It was the night before the Games. Our first Games.”

“You had sex with me because you felt sorry for me, and you used me because you didn’t want to die a virgin. Real or not real?” What the hell did Snow tell this poor man?

“Not real. We had sex because we wanted to... because we were attracted to each other.”

“Tell me about that night...” It was a bit foggy, but for him, I would try my best to remember.

“Well, it started out with the two of us looking out the window at all the foolish Capitol parties below us, celebrating the night before the Games. We got to talking, about how you didn’t want the Games to change you... You called yourself a screw up, and I told you that you weren’t a screw up. Then I told you about how you were the only person who was kind to me, when we were children and I was fresh off the boat from Hebridia. I remember calling you handsome... and you smiled that sweet, handsome smile at me. I knew then that I didn’t want to be without you. As we were going to bed, I stopped you and jumped into your arms. I asked you to stay with me... and you did...”

* * *

_ I took him by the hand and led him into my room, stopping just as the door closed - and hearing it lock - and wrapped my arms tightly around him. “Katniss, what’s going on?” he whispered to me, gently stroking my hair as he held me tightly in his arms. _

_ “I don’t want you going in there... I’d go in there a hundred times if it meant you never had to see the arena,” I confessed to him. I had no idea what had overtaken me that night, but whatever it was, my shields were down, and I was vulnerable and fully exposed to Peeta. He could do whatever he wanted to me and I would let him, but of course, he was the perfect gentleman. _

_ “Let’s get some sleep,” he said, not acknowledging my words, and he then led me to bed and pulled back the covers for me to crawl under. He crawled in beside me and I quickly draped my arms over him, dragging him closer to me and holding onto him for dear life, as if I would fade into oblivion if I let him go. He didn’t say anything, only held me in silence. “Katniss,” he muttered quietly. “If I don’t survive the first day...” _

_ “Don’t talk like that,” I begged him. _

_ “But you have to know... Katniss, I love you. I have loved you ever since we were children... I’m not expecting you to love me back, but... the way you are tonight...” He trailed off, not wanting to make assumptions but already had made them. I lifted my head to listen to him, and when he didn’t finish, I sat up, hovering over him for a moment, before taking his face in between my hands and pressing my lips against his. He was stunned at first, but after a moment, he was kissing me back. He tried to pull away from me, but I wouldn’t let him, deepening the kiss by running my tongue along his lower lip begging for entrance. He let me in, as our tongues soon joined our lips as our kiss gained more heat. Eventually, he did break it, but only when he felt me grabbing hold of his wrist and laying his hand on my breast. “Katniss... What are you doing?” _

_ “What’s it look like?” I asked him, my other hand that wasn’t holding his hand on my breast running through his mussed honey golden curls. _

_ “It’s the night before the Games... I’m sorry, Katniss, but I don’t want it this way,” he replied. _

_ “I don’t want it like that either... I want this for real,” I replied, desperate for him and every ounce of him. The me who I thought I was had been pushed away by the version of me that loved Peeta, that wanted him so badly that it hurt. She was desperate, and was willing to say anything to get him to kiss her again. Sure, it was wrong considering I didn’t know how I felt about him, but I knew that I didn’t want anyone else but him. “I need you, Peeta... Not because we’re going into the Games... I need you because I was too stupid to ask for you before it was too late.” His eyes widened and he appeared to be in shock. _

_ “You... you wanted me?” he asked, and I nodded. _

_ “You’re not the only one who was too afraid,” I told him. He nodded, then rested his forehead against mine. _

_ “If there is anything you don’t want me to do... stop me,” he said. Out of everything he did to me that night, there wasn’t one thing I hadn’t wanted him to do. He made me feel good, like the woman that I thought I’d never have the chance to grow into. He touched me with his beautiful artist’s hands in my most intimate of places, he kissed me all over, every kiss leaving a trail of fire as his lips explored my body. When they fell on my nipples, I exploded with an ecstasy I never thought I would feel - until his lips found the one spot that made me cry out his name. When I decided that he’d spent enough time on me, I flipped him over and explored him with my own lips, finding that his most sensitive spots were behind his ear, right along his collarbone and on the head of his penis. When the foreplay was done, he rolled me onto my back and settled himself between my legs, his lips lost in my neck. _

_ “Peeta,” I moaned, begging him for more. “I need you... so much...” _

_ “What about protection?” he whispered to me through kisses. This boy, always putting my needs before his. _

_ “I don’t think that matters now... Just take me, Peeta. I’m all yours,” I muttered back to him. That was all the confirmation he needed - he lowered his lips onto mine and then he lined himself up with my entrance. When he started to push in, I gripped tightly onto his shoulders, my fingernails likely leaving marks. “Oh, God, Peeta...” _

_ “You feel so tight... so good...” I heard him mutter as he pushed in further. Soon, he hit a barrier, and as he pushed through it, I let out a small cry, and he froze. “Did I hurt you?” _

_ “No,” I told him, even though it had stung a little. “No more than it’s supposed to, just... take it slow.” He waited until I fully adjusted to him before moving into me even more, and once he was fully sheathed within me, it was as if we fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces. When I gave him an indication that I was ready, he began to slowly pump in and out of me, picking up his pace the more we moaned into each other’s mouths. His right hand, which had been fondling my left breast, made its way down my body until it rested near where we were connected and began to rub that sensitive little nub again, forcing more passionate moans out of me. “Oh, Peeta... Peeta...” _

_ “Katniss... I love it when you moan my name like that,” he whispered to me, burying his lips in my neck. We came together, both of us letting out a cry and tugging on the hair of the other as we climaxed. As we came down, Peeta collapsed on me and I held him tightly against my chest, his head lying over my heart and the two of us fighting to catch our breath. After a moment, he started to move out of me, but I stopped him. _

_ “Just a little bit longer,” I told him when he looked at me with confusion. “I... I want us to stay connected... just for a little bit...” He nodded, then laid his head back on my chest while I ran my fingers through his curls. _

_ “I love you so much, Katniss,” he whispered to me quietly and lovingly. For most girls, hearing those words after a moment of passion would have been enough to make their hearts burst with love, but for me, it was different. After this night, I wouldn’t get to hold him like this again, kiss him like we had earlier, feel his hands providing me pleasure in my most intimate of places, never feel him moving inside of me again. Overcome by a moment of passion, I realised that something in my heart called out to this boy - my boy with the bread - and I couldn’t stop the tears that began to leak from my eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked me, lifting his head to look at me, his beautiful blue eyes filled with concern. “Was it... was it bad?” _

_ “No,” I said through my tears, raising one hand to wipe them from my eyes. “It was incredible... the most wonderful feeling I’ve ever had. I just... We’ll never have the chance to do this again... Not ever... After this, one or both of us will be dead, and... I’m realising that I’m not okay with that.” _

_ “Katniss,” Peeta said, lowering his lips to my sternum to kiss my skin. “I don’t want to think about tomorrow... We have tonight, all night together... Will you seize every moment we have with me?” He looked up at me again, his eyes full of hope, and as I rested one of my hands on his cheek, I wanted so badly to tell this boy that I loved him, but it felt wrong. I didn't know how it felt. Was this love? If it was, I didn’t even know how to recognise it. Perhaps if I had more time... But I don’t. Tomorrow, maybe sometime within the next week, one or both of us will be dead, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. If this boy dies, a large part of me will die along with him - suddenly, I understood how Agnessa felt when Uncle Archie was killed in the mine explosion. Remembering that he was waiting for an answer - he’d asked me to seize the moment with him - I met his eyes again. _

_ “Yes,” I told him. “I’ll give you every moment I have.” We made love together for as much of the evening as we could, until we fell asleep still engulfed in each other’s arms. _

* * *

Peeta was watching me intently as I finished recalling the memory, the black of his eyes having reduced significantly. “Was that the night you knew you loved me?” he asked me after a moment, but with a sigh, I shook my head.

“I didn’t recognise it as love,” I told him. “I knew it after the Games, though, when we ran through the streets of Twelve in the rain. I was so scared of falling in love because I didn’t want to get hurt - foolish, I know. That’s a part of being in love - but after the Games, I realised that it was too late to stop myself from falling because I already had.” He went silent again, glancing down at the table in front of him, and when he looked back up at me, his eyes were that beautiful shade of sky blue that I loved so much.

“I... I’m sorry... I had a thought and... I started doubting...” he began, but I rested my hand over his to stop him.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I told you to ask me when you doubted or were confused by something, and you did. I’m not upset.” I gave him another smile, then removed my hand from his to return the notepad in front of me.

“I don’t want you going on that mission that Carolina proposed,” he said suddenly, and I looked up at him, his face neutral, if not in shock.

“What are you talking about? I have to go,” I told him. “It’s not even in the works yet, it’s only been mentioned.”

“I don’t care. You’re not going, not without me,” he said firmly.

“And what makes you think you get to decide that?” I asked him, equally as firmly.

“I can’t protect you and keep you safe unless I’m by your side so if I can’t go, you can’t.”

“You’re in no condition to go on any missions anytime soon.”

“Then you’re not going.”

“You don’t get to decide that, Peeta. If the mission calls for me to be on it, then I’m going. Case closed, end of conversation.”

“I’ll find a way to tell them you can’t go. I’ll tell them you’re pregnant.”

“They know I’m not. Women are tested here same as they were in Twelve.”

“Then I’ll think of something else.”

“Peeta!” He stood up and slammed his palms down on the table.

“I’m not losing you again!” he shouted. It startled me, this anger, but one look at his eyes told me that it wasn’t the venom talking - this was the real Peeta. Scared, strong, protective Peeta, who wanted nothing more than to keep me safe and alive, even if it meant losing his own life. The next words he said were a lot calmer. “You’re not going... I swear, I won’t let you...” Turning on his heel, he quickly headed out the door, while I remained seated, stunned into silence at his outburst. Where had that even come from? The venom? In the end, it wouldn’t be his decision, even if it meant fighting tooth and nail to get on the team. It was yet another reason to finish the vaccine even quicker.

“...well...” said Cailean, whom I had forgotten was in the room. I blushed when I realised I’d gone into extensive detail to Peeta about our first time making love, but Cailean was being a shockingly good brother and wasn’t bringing it up. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, just... venom,” I replied quietly, and Cailean nodded knowingly.

Later that evening, when I was in the lab by myself, I heard a quiet tap on the glass of the door, and when I glanced up, I saw Peeta on the other side looking very apologetic. I stood up and let him in, and he stood in the doorway. “I’m... sorry... about earlier... I shouldn’t have said that to you, not that way,” he said to me.

“It’s fine,” I replied.

“No, it’s not. I still don’t want you to go... Katniss, I don’t know a lot of things still, and I still don’t know why I’m feeling what I feel, but I know that I want to protect you and keep you safe. I know that I constantly want to sweep you off your feet and take you to bed and sometimes, I do know why, but most of the time, I don’t. But I just want to keep you safe and I can’t do that if I’m not with you,” he told me, his voice full of all kinds of emotions. “I know I sometimes think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and sometimes, I think you’re terrifyingly hideous - but I know I don’t want to think like that. Sometimes, I want to be by your side and sometimes, I don’t and it’s frustrating me so much that I can’t seem to make up my mind! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I don’t know what I feel!”

“I believe that’s called ‘love’, Peeta... Everything you’ve described to me is love,” I told him, reaching up to wipe a tear from his eye.

“Why are you being so kind to me?” he whispered. “Why are you helping me? You should be running away and hiding or staying far away from me. You should find someone who isn’t confused about how they feel about you, someone who won’t...  _ hurt _ ... you.”

“I don’t want someone like that. They wouldn’t be you, and I love you.” His sweet, sad blue eyes bore into mine, and then he tightly wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly.

“At least one of us knows for sure,” he said to me, and I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.

“Four years ago, it was me crying and telling you that I didn’t know if I loved you, and you were comforting me. My, how the tables have turned.” He pulled back from our embrace appearing a little confused, and with my palm on his cheek, I stood on my toes to gently press my lips against his. “Why don’t we walk back to your room? I’m sure Finnick misses his roommate.”

“I don’t want to go back to Finnick, I want to be with you,” Peeta told me. “But I know I can’t be... it’s not safe...”

“But it will be soon. Peeta, my sweet love, I promise we’ll get you back to normal as soon as we can,” I told him. I walked him back to his room, then kissed him one final time before he went inside, and I returned to the lab. When I got there, Cailean was there half dressed and looking as if he’d had a rude awakening from sleep. “Cailean?”

“Stupid! Stupid! I can’t  _ believe _ we didn’t think of this!  _ I _ should have thought of this!” he was muttering to himself as he flipped through papers.

“Cailean, what the hell are you on about?” I asked him, walking over to him and pulling the papers out of his hands.

“Blood toxicity levels,” he said. “Katniss, the venom doesn’t leave their bodies fast enough. The maximum active virus capacity of 37% isn’t because that’s the maximum amount of virus the body can take before it can’t fight it off anymore, it’s generally the amount of active virus in the body when the  _ venom _ is at deadly levels, but that’s when it goes unchecked. Right now, we’re reducing the virus count, but not the venom count.”

“So they could reach maximum capacity before total organ failure anyway,” I said as I realised what he was saying, and my hand covered my mouth as tears stung my eyes. “Oh, God...”

“We need this vaccine and we need it  _ now _ . We can’t wait... Katniss, we cannot rest until we finish this vaccine and we need it within the next week or they’ll all be dead,” Cailean said to me in perhaps the most serious tone I’ve ever heard him use. So Peeta’s blood toxicity due to the venom must have been the cause of his earlier episode...

We had to complete that vaccine, and we had almost no time to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the team hoping for too much from the escaped Victors? What if some of them were dead? Will Katniss and Cailean find the right formula for the vaccine in time?
> 
> Please review!


	12. A Race Against Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss and Cailean rush to finish the vaccine. The hijacking victims start experiencing signs of total organ failure.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

Three days had passed since we realised our next crucial mistake, and the amount of flesh cubes that lived in the lab amounted to about thirty. It was like a community of flesh cubes, exclusively bred to test the vaccines on. While we were waiting on the finalisation of a specific ingredient common to all of the vaccine formulas, Caliean had even made them little hats out of tinfoil. That was Cailean, wasn’t it? Always finding a reason to laugh when things seemed so bleak. I, on the other hand, couldn’t laugh, especially when we realised that the flesh cubes created to test the third vaccine formula on had died due to the failure of the vaccine.

“Minnie’s dead,” said Cailean, referring to the dead flesh cube. It was pale, stiff and cold, and quite disgusting-looking. “Vaccine three was a failure. It was perfect otherwise, so it just isn’t the right one.”

“Minnie?” I asked him. “You named them?”

“They’re living things, too, Katniss. Just because they were grown in a lab doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have names,” Cailean replied.

“But they don’t even have brains or brainstems! They’re just blood and lungs!” I exclaimed, and Cailean shrugged.

“I like to give them names. I guess I’ll send Minnie down to the morgue then, have them burn her.”

“They’re cubes of flesh, they don’t even have any genitalia-” I was interrupted by the sound of urgent banging on the door to the lab, and when I opened the door, Finnick rushed in and grabbed me by the shoulders.

“Katniss! You have to come to the hospital now! Something happened to Peeta - I don’t know what, but it’s bad!” he exclaimed, and I turned to look at Cailean with wide eyes, and then the three of us ran off to the makeshift hospital that was in the former studio. When we arrived, there was a team of doctors that was surrounding one of the beds, and I pushed through them to get to Peeta’s side.

“Peeta!” I exclaimed, grabbing his hand tightly as I shoved a couple of the doctors aside. “Peeta, are you all right? What happened?”

“Mr. Mellark appears to have had a seizure,” said one of the doctors. “If you don’t mind, we’re trying to save his life.”

“What exactly have you concluded so far? What caused the seizure?” I demanded.

“Hard to say, but we got a Foley catheter in him as soon as we got him here and did an albumin to creatinine ratio test. The numbers suggest that his kidneys aren’t functioning as they should. It’s an early sign of kidney failure,” the doctor replied. That news made my heart drop into my stomach - that meant that Peeta was in the earliest stages of total organ failure, meaning his blood toxicity was coming close to reaching capacity.

“What about Annie Cresta and Johanna Mason?” I asked, realising I’d forgotten all about them in my effort to complete the vaccine.

“Miss Cresta has signs of jaundice and her ACR test proved the same results, as of yesterday. Miss Mason, well... Miss Mason had been put into an induced coma two days ago. Her lungs had started to fail and she cannot breathe on her own,” the doctor told me.

“Shit...” I muttered, silently cursing myself for not paying attention to my other two patients. “How long would you say she has?”

“Hard to say. Her blood toxicity with the venom is at 34%,” said the doctor. The maximum threshold was, on average, 37% before total organ failure.

“Katniss?” I heard Peeta’s voice mutter, and I glanced down at him, my hand resting on his cheek.

“Peeta, my darling... How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Where am I?” he asked me.

“In hospital. You’ve had a seizure,” I told him, brushing his hair back off of his forehead. “Don’t you worry, my love... I’m going to get you better. I promise I will.”

“If you don’t finish that vaccine soon, we’re going to lose them,” the doctor told me, interrupting my moment with my husband, and I scowled at him.

“Thanks for the reminder,” I hissed at him, and then I turned back to Peeta. “You rest, and don’t overexert yourself or worry at all. I’m going to get you better. We’re going to beat this, Peeta... I promise.” He didn’t answer me, but he nodded, and when I bent down to kiss his forehead, he closed his eyes, relaxing into my touch. Later that night, when I visited again, Peeta was agitated by my presence and quite a bit frightened, so I had no choice but to leave him be. If I agitated him or scared him, it could cause his heart to race and therefore speed up the rate at which the venom was taking over his body, so I ultimately chose to stay away.

Now, it was a race against time. Between visits to the hospital, Cailean and I had managed to complete the vaccine for the fourth and second formulas and Cailean immediately injected them into two cubes per vaccine. Within two hours, the two cubes that had been used for the fourth vaccine formula, which Cailean had named Albert and Penny, had died, and the two cubes for the second vaccine formula still showed no results. In the meantime, we worked on the formulas for the first and fifth vaccines, which was originally supposed to take considerably longer, but we didn’t have that kind of time. Cailean recruited more scientists to help cut down on the time needed to create the two vaccines, which we’d hoped would increase our chances of success.

The following day, Peeta had another seizure. I found out when Prim came in person to tell me. We hadn’t spoken much as of late, with her being busy with the recovery response after the bombing and I busy in the lab working on the vaccine, and she cried when she hugged me, telling me how terrifying it was to watch Peeta suffer so much. She also told me that Annie had seized as well, and then went into renal failure, meaning that her kidneys had stopped working completely. As a result, she was put on hemodialysis, a system that would cleanse her blood outside of her body. Later that same night, Prim returned to tell me that Annie had gone into lung failure and was now on a ventilator, and Peeta was showing no change, other than a touch of jaundice, suggesting early stages of liver failure.

“Ginny’s dead,” said Cailean, referring to one of the two cubes that we’d tested the second vaccine formula on. “Henry looks pale. He’ll likely be dead by morning.” So that was that - the second vaccine formula had failed. We now had three failed vaccines and two that weren’t even complete yet, and likely days left before we lost all three of our hijacking patients.

On the fifth day, I’m grateful to say that there had been no change in any of the three patients, other than Annie being put into an induced coma sometime around three in the morning. Around noon, we finally finished the fifth vaccine formula and Cailean tested it on two cubes, Allison and Rupert. The two cubes were instantly killed, meaning that the fifth vaccine was an instant failure.

“Don’t give up yet,” he told our team with no emotion. “We still have one vaccine left.”

“And if it fails, they’re all dead,” I said, also emotionless.

“If we can’t finish it, they’ll be dead anyway,” Cailean replied. “At least we can say we tried.”

Our team worked all through the night and well into the day, each of us working on a different component of the formula, until finally, around four the next evening, Sunday the eighteenth of September, we completed the formula for the first vaccine. Our next step was to test it, and needless to say, we were quite nervous to see the results of this vaccine. If it failed, we were finished and there was nothing more that we could do. If it succeeded, then we still might not have saved the victims, given the fact that we needed to monitor the cubes carefully. Cailean selected two cubes - one called Talulah, and one called Benny - and carefully injected each of them with the vaccine. We watched them closely for the first five minutes, noting no change.

“They’ve already outlived Vaccine Five,” Cailean noted. “That’s a good sign.”

“They still have three other vaccines to outlive,” I reminded him. Not long after that, Prim came by to visit again, informing me that Peeta had had another seizure, this time ending in cardiac arrest. When I gasped, Prim told me quickly that he’d been revived and seemed to be doing all right, but he was unconscious. An hour later, I got another phone call from the hospital telling me that Peeta had gone into cardiac arrest again, so he was put into an induced coma and placed on a ventilator. All three victims were now on a ventilator and in induced comas, and all of them were slowly dying. If this vaccine showed signs of death, then everything was over.

On the seventh day, we took note of the cubes again - Talulah and Benny seemed to be thriving, showing no signs of death or even illness. “The first two died after two days,” I’d said.

“But they also showed a bit of pallor by this point... these two are still pink and warm, and their temperature is still a healthy 98.6°,” Cailean told me. “Katniss... right now, there’s no signs of death.”

“Do you think we’re successful?” I asked him.

“I think we’re as successful as we’re going to get,” he told me. “I’ll get the team working on the vaccine to suit Johanna and Peeta. Get this one to Annie, and quickly.” I nodded, and I quickly grabbed the vial of vaccine and ran off to the hospital as quickly as my legs could carry me. As I arrived, the medical team was in the midst of reviving Johanna from cardiac arrest.

“Katniss!” I heard Prim exclaim when she saw me. “Please tell me you have good news!” At that moment, we heard the telltale sign of another flatline, and Finnick’s voice shouting Annie’s name. Another medical team rushed to Annie to revive her and I stood by with the vaccine in hand. As soon as she was revived, I squeezed my way in by her side and injected the vaccine into her arm, massaging the injection site with my fingers and standing back for a moment to look for a reaction - nothing. That was a good sign, at least.

“Watch her urine output. If it shows up bright orange, call me immediately,” I said to the attending nurse, who nodded and scribbled that down on a clipboard before leaving Finnick, Annie and I alone. Finnick was in tears over the state that his beloved Annie was in and her hands were tightly engulfed by his.

“That vaccine... it works?” he asked me quietly.

“We tested it and it didn’t kill our subject,” I told him.

“What does that mean?” Finnick asked, and I let out a sigh.

“It means we aren’t sure if it’ll work... but if it doesn’t, then we’ve failed anyway. We’re out of time,” I told him, and he nodded, looking down at Annie beside him.

“At least we tried,” he whispered. While I waited for Cailean to come to the hospital with Johanna and Peeta’s vaccines, I sat by Peeta’s bedside and held his hand, simply enjoying the quiet with him by my side. After a while, I got up and laid down beside him on his bed, kissing his cheek and holding his hand in mine.

“I love you, Peeta,” I whispered to him. “Lark loves you... Maevis loves you... Your mother loves you, too, even though she doesn’t say it... If this vaccine doesn’t work, I promise I won’t shut down. I’ll take care of our beautiful girls, and I’ll fight until we win the rebellion for a better future for them. I just... I just wish I could be in your arms one last time.” I felt a tear fall from my eye and slip down my cheek, the tear landing on Peeta’s. I wiped it with my thumb, then kissed the place where that tear fell. He looked so pale against the white of the bed. He was already pale, with fair skin and beautiful mussed honey golden hair, but now, it seemed as if all colour had been drained from him, except for the hint of yellow. Even his hair looked lifeless. I feared so badly that this vaccine would fail... and even though I didn’t want to kill anyone, if Peeta died because of what Snow had done to him, I would personally be the one to kill him. Snow believed that taking Peeta away from me would break me enough to not want to fight, but he was a fool if he actually believed that. No, if he killed Peeta, I would come back with a vengeance.

Not too much later, Cailean finally arrived with the vaccines for Johanna and Peeta, and while he went to inject Johanna with hers, I injected Peeta with his, and then I waited. There was still no change in Annie, and no instant change in either Johanna or Peeta, either. Now, we played the waiting game to see if we had failed or if we had succeeded. Evidently, the flesh cubes were still going strong, which was a good sign, but the telltale signs of the vaccine’s success would be found in their urine bags, which were attached to their catheters. The cubes didn’t have a urinary system - we were just checking to see if the vaccine would kill the host or not. As I laid by Peeta’s side, listening to the sound of his faint heartbeat in his chest, with the beep of the heart monitor to match and the gasp of the ventilator as it breathed in and out for Peeta, I found myself dozing off, sleeping properly for the first time in the last seven days.

When I awoke a few hours later, Peeta was still alive beside me, the heart monitor indicating no change in his heart rate, respiratory rate, blood oxygen count or blood pressure. That was a good sign, I supposed. I sat up and stretched a little, then climbed off of the bed, nervously approaching the bag of urine at the foot of his bed, which would tell me if the vaccine worked. I closed my eyes as it came into view and took a deep breath, then opened them again.

The fluid inside was a bright orange colour. It worked. The vaccine worked.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

When I first woke up, I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet, but heard the beeping sound of a heart monitor that sounded like the one when I first arrived in District Thirteen - wait, all of what had happened since then wasn’t a dream, right? That actually happened? Then I noticed a strange foreign feeling in my mouth and throat - what the hell was that? I moved my tongue just a little and bumped into a rather large plastic... tube? I then felt an increasing and decreasing pressure in my chest - air being forced into my lungs at an uncomfortably slow pace. A couple of moments felt as if I were drowning, and I just wanted this thing out of me. The beeping of the heart monitor increased a little bit, and when I opened my eyes, I was met by the rather scary-looking contraption beside me that appeared to be responsible for the air being forced into my lungs.

“Peeta?” I heard a voice - Katniss’s - say, and I turned my head a little (rather uncomfortably, thanks to the contraption in my mouth) to meet her silver eyes. She smiled at me, and I raised an eyebrow in confusion, then gestured with my eyes down to the contraption in my mouth. She chuckled gently. “That’s an endotracheal tube that’s going down your throat. It’s meant to help you breathe. The venom made you lose your ability to breathe, so you had to be put on a ventilator.” I raised my eyebrows again, and one thing I loved about Katniss was her ability to read me. “Removing it isn’t my call, I’m not a doctor, but if I could, I would. Would you like me to go and fetch one and see if they can get that thing out of your mouth?” I nodded as best as I could, and she smiled and stood up, bending down to place a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

I had to try to wrack my brain for a moment to figure out what exactly had happened. I felt a little delirious and my memory sure was foggy, but I knew that Katniss was my wife and had been for quite a while, and I knew that we had two perfect little girls that I missed so much, but I wouldn’t want them to see me with this thing in my mouth. It would probably scare them. I knew that I was in District Thirteen, and when I looked around and realised that I wasn’t in the hospital I remembered waking up in the first time, I remembered that Snow had ordered a firebombing on District Thirteen. The President of Thirteen had been killed, leaving the rebellion to take a step back and ‘lick its wounds’, as Katniss had put it. Then I remembered that Katniss had been trying to create a vaccine for the tracker jacker venom that had been injected into myself, Annie and Johanna. Did it work? Is that why I was still alive? It seemed that Katniss had saved my life yet again, and for the first time since I got back to Thirteen, I knew for sure what I wanted: I wanted to grab her, pick her up, kiss her all over her face and then carry her off to whatever bedroom we’d be sharing and make love to her until we fell asleep.

I didn’t feel very confused anymore about my memories. When I thought about Katniss, a false memory that was shiny flashed in my mind, but without the venom in me - or at least a large enough dose of it - to mess with my head, I could recognise that the memory was false. When Katniss came back, a doctor was with her to check my breathing and remove the tube, which was incredibly uncomfortable and she made sure to hold my hand for the entire process. Finally able to breathe on my own without the hell of that dreadful machine, I looked at my wife and gave her a smile. “K...Kat...niss...” I muttered, my throat incredibly sore from the tube, especially with the formation of the ‘k’ sound, which originated in the throat.

“Don’t speak, darling. Your throat’s going to be very sore,” she told me, her free hand jumping up to my head to soothingly run through my hair.

“K...kiss... m...me,” I muttered quietly. I hadn’t felt her lips on mine in what felt like forever and now that they were finally free, all I wanted was to kiss her, and she smiled and bent down to press her lips against mine. She likely was only intending on giving me a small kiss, thinking I couldn’t handle anything more, but I grabbed her shoulders and held her on top of me so that I could deepen the kiss. She giggled and pulled herself away after a moment, looking into my eyes with the look of love that I had missed so much.

“I missed that,” she told me, then she ran her finger down my cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“R...really... need... t-to pee...” I said, realising exactly how full my bladder felt.

“That’ll be the catheter, love. It causes a sort of full bladder sensation. You had to be on it while in an induced coma. You’ve been asleep for four days,” she replied.

“Sh-shot?” I asked, referring to the venom vaccine.

“We finished it up at the last possible second and... it worked, Peeta. On all three of you. Johanna has a lot more organ damage and needs to be kept in an induced coma until the doctors can find a suitable match for her to have a kidney transplant. She went into total renal failure and she also has liver and lung damage, but she’ll be okay. Annie may also need a transplant, she also went into the beginnings of renal failure but not nearly advanced as Johanna. Right now they’re on something called hemodialysis which is basically a machine that filters their blood for them,” Katniss explained. “She might be okay, but she hasn’t woken up yet.” She stood up and for a moment, left my side, and I made a noise indicating that I did not want her to do that, but she went down to the foot of the bed and detached some sort of bag with a bright orange fluid in it, then replaced it with another.

“Bag?” I asked her, carefully choosing one word to ask a much longer question.

“See this orange colour? That’s the venom in your urine being expelled. The venom wasn’t being expelled before so the vaccine does that, which keeps your body from shutting down, which it almost did. Thankfully, you’re a fighter and you didn’t give up on me.” She set the bag down at the foot of the bed and then came back to my side, and I took her hands and raised them to my lips to kiss them.

“G-girls? I asked, referring to our daughters.

“You’ll see them soon. You know they’ll ask you a thousand questions so it’s best to rest your throat and voice while you can. The rebellion needs that golden tongue of yours, too,” she replied. I laid back against the bed, furious I couldn’t talk without my throat hurting so much. I just wanted to squeeze Katniss and tell her how much I loved her and how grateful I was to her for her work on the vaccine, and how proud I was of everything she accomplished, but my sore throat wouldn’t let me. Instead, I settled on something simple, which made her blush and smile.

“L-Love... you...” I said.

“I love you, too,” she replied, leaning down to kiss me again. “I’ve got to run this bag of urine down to the lab and compare it to the blood sample we took shortly before you woke up, see how much venom has left your system. It’s very likely you’ll be on these injections for the rest of your life and may need weekly, biweekly or monthly doses, but that all depends on how you continue to respond to the antiretrovirals, which slows down the virus’s replication, and what the vaccine even does. We haven’t actually had the chance to study what it can do. It’s not a very smart virus, though, the venom virus, so it likely won’t evolve, but you’ll have to be monitored carefully. Cailean’s working on a pill form of the antiretroviral so you don’t need a needle every day, but it will have to be taken daily.” I nodded weakly as I listened to her. “Get some rest, _mo ghaol_. I’ll come by again a bit later. If you’re feeling better, maybe I can send for your mother to bring the girls. How does that sound?” I smiled and nodded, which resulted in her smile. “Then I’ll see you soon. I love you, Peeta.” She kissed me one more time, and then with one final smile, she left me in my little cubicle.

A few hours later, my throat finally stopped hurting and I suddenly heard the sound of giggling children and toddling footsteps. At first, I didn’t think they were mine, until two little faces peeked at me from around the divider. “Daddy!” Lark exclaimed, running to the side of the bed and trying to climb up, but she was still too small.

“Honey bun! You’re too little!” I said to her as Katniss came into view.

“Sorry, I got stopped over by Annie’s bed. She’s showing signs of waking up,” she’d told me, lifting Lark up so that she could crawl up onto the bed and into my waiting arms.

“Hi, baby,” I said to her, kissing her beautiful honey golden curls while Katniss picked up Maevis and set her down on my other side. “And hello, sweetie-pie! How are my two beautiful girls?”

“Daddy, when are we going home?” Lark asked me.

“This is home now, baby,” I told her. I kissed both of their sweet little heads and hugged them both tightly in each of my arms. “Daddy missed you both so much,” I told them.

“Daddy sick?” asked little Maevis beside me, who would be two in a little over a month.

“Just a little bit, honey, but Daddy’s getting better now,” I told her, and then I looked at Katniss. “Mama’s taking good care of me.” It was her turn to smile, and she sat on the bed on the side that Maevis was on. We sat like that for quite a while until Katniss said it was time for them to go, but of course I didn’t want them to leave. Just as Katniss was about to lead the girls out, I grabbed her hand, startling her just a little. “You’ll come back... right?”

“Of course I will,” she told me, and once she’d put the girls to bed, she did come back. I shifted over and made room on the bed for her and patted the spot beside me and she crawled up next to me, the pair of us wrapping our arms around each other and Katniss resting her head on my shoulder.

“I wish we could just go home...” I muttered quietly.

“I know, _mo ghaol_ , I wish we could, too. But it’s not safe to go anywhere until Snow is gone... and we don’t even know if our home is still standing,” she replied, and I let out a sigh.

“For a moment, I forgot that Twelve was firebombed, too,” I told her, playing with her hair between my fingers. “What are we gonna do?”

“Fight for the rebellion. What else can we do now? We’re too far in to turn back. If we show our faces anywhere in Panem, Snow will have us found and killed. Sometimes, I wish we could just live a quiet life far away from here... or even go back to Hebridia, but I’ve never heard of any way to get back.”

“Snow never let us leave the districts unless it was to die in the Hunger Games, so that makes sense.” I let out another sigh. “So, this senate idea of yours... Are you going to represent Twelve?”

“I have to, I think. Everyone expects me to.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Haymitch and I can do it.”

“Haymitch won’t do it. I know for a fact that he won’t, it’s not something that Haymitch does. And besides, I’m advocating for less violence and killing, as little as we can muster. I need to be a senator.” She looked up at me, our eyes meeting for a moment. “If you don’t feel up to it, you don’t have to.”

“Do you really think I’d let you do this alone? You were right when you said the best options for representation would be the Victors. We know the Capitol better than anyone else and we know the rest of Panem, too.”

“I don’t want you to feel forced, especially after you almost...” She couldn’t even muster the word ‘died’. I brushed a piece of hair out of her face as I saw the pain of emotion cross her face at the very thought.

“I’m not. Besides, I have a feeling that you being a senator means you’re going to be very busy soon, and this’ll be a chance for me to spend as much time with you as possible.” At that, she smiled, then she placed her hands on either side of my face and bent down to kiss me.

“Now that I know you’re safe and out of danger, I can focus more on this rebellion. We really have a lot of work ahead of us... and I’m glad you’ll be able to be by my side.”

“You won’t be alone for any of it,” I told her, pulling her into my arms again and holding her tightly against my chest. “You look like you haven’t slept in days...”

“I really haven’t. I dozed off a little a couple of days ago, but... since then, I haven’t really been able to sleep. I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m going to be okay now, thanks to you, so get some sleep, Senator Mellark,” I told her, and she smiled against my chest as she snuggled up closer to me.

“As soon as you’re out of here, you’re joining us in our room. Then I’ll be able to sleep better, knowing our family is all together again,” she replied, her beautiful silver eyes closing as I buried my lips in her hair. One of my hands rubbed her back while the other stroked her hair, encouraging her to fall asleep, and soon, the two of us fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, finally united in the way we ought to be, with no hijacking or tracker jacker venom between us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that the vaccine was a success, Katniss and Peeta will be able to focus on the rebellion, but they hardly know where to start. What should they do?
> 
> Please review!


	13. The Coy Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta is finally released from the hospital on the day that just so happens to be his and Katniss’s fourth wedding anniversary.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

I was in the hospital being monitored for quite a long time. The day I woke up had, evidently, been September the twenty-second, and when I was officially released, it was the thirtieth of September - mine and Katniss’s fourth wedding anniversary. I was released with instructions to get a urine sample every time I went to the bathroom and bring it either to the hospital or to the lab, and since Katniss was in the lab, I ultimately decided to cut out the middleman altogether. As I made my way down to the lab, a slightly orange-tinted cup of still warm urine in my hand, I practiced what exactly I wanted to say to her when I saw her for the first time on our anniversary. “Happy anniversary, my beautiful wife. I’m free from my confines- no...” I muttered to myself, and as I rounded a corner, I bumped into someone who was considerably taller than me, nearly dropping the cup in my hand. “Excuse me... Oh. Gale, hello,” I said once I realised who it was that I’d run into. Part of me wished I’d spilled that cup of urine all over him. Katniss would understand.

“Mellark,” said Gale. “Finally out of the hospital, I see. Are you allowed to be around normal people now?”

“My  _ wife _ finished the vaccine a week ago and now all of us are actually doing pretty good, thank you,” I said, somewhat spitefully. Despite everything, I still had a little bit of built-up anger that was a result of the psychological effects of the venom, according to a doctor by the name of Dr. Aurelius who specialised in psychology and psychiatrics. A lot of that anger was, for good reason, directed at Gale, who, almost a year ago, was responsible for the death of my unborn son. “I see you made it out of Twelve alive. I also heard your wife and son didn’t.”

“You should be a bit more grateful. You’d still be in the Capitol if it weren’t for me,” Gale spat at me, and I let out a laugh.

“Are you ever going to grow up?” I asked him. “I know you weren’t the only one on my rescue team. I would have still been here regardless of whether or not you were present.”

“I carried you out.”

“Okay, and I told you to get out of District Twelve after you killed my child otherwise you’d be killed. So technically, if I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have saved me, and someone else would have carried me out of there.” He scowled at me in a way similar to Katniss’s famous scowls, and I had to suppress a laugh. “If you don’t mind, I need to get this to the lab,” I said, referring to the cup of urine in my hand, and I pushed past him to head on.

“I heard about Katniss’s idea for a senate, and that each district will have a representative. Two representatives, according to a rumour I heard from Carolina Abernathy. Thirteen is holding an election for their senators, and Carolina thinks that every district should have one. I’ve become very popular with the refugees from Twelve now that I’m on track to become a commander. If Twelve has an election, I’m running,” he said.

“You won’t win,” I replied, turning back to look at him. “You’re a warrior. The people of Twelve have experienced nothing but war and look where that got them? They survived not one but  _ two _ firebombings now. They’re tired of the violent approach. It’s time to try something more peaceful. I’m glad you’re on track to becoming a commander, that’s an excellent and very well-fitting job for you, but the senate doesn’t need a warbird. It needs a dove.”

“And you think that’s you.”

“I  _ know _ that’s me. Gale, when are you going to realise that you may be competing against  _ me _ , but I’m not competing against  _ you _ ? I have no reason to. I know we both love Katniss and yes, I know that I’m the one that she chose, but even if she chose you, I would have stepped back. This has never been a competition, and I’ve never seen any disagreement between us as a competition. You, on the other hand, are always looking for a fight. You constantly challenge me every single time we meet, and why? What are you fighting for, exactly? Your wounded pride? Feeling tough and manly? To try and win Katniss’s heart? I grew up with two older brothers, Gale. I’m tired of the pissing contests. The senate isn’t any place for you, and besides, elections are only going to be held if the district in question doesn’t have two Victors.” He was silent as he studied me, eyeing me suspiciously out of his grey Seam eyes. “Is anything I’m saying to you getting through? Damn, you are a tough nut to crack. Well, I’m giving up. Stay stubborn if you want but I have a family to worry about. I’ll see you around.”

With that said, I turned and left, then headed straight for the lab. In my frustration, I had forgotten that I was previously practicing what I wanted to say when I saw Katniss, but nevermind that - too late now. I sighed and fixed my unruly honey golden curls in my reflection in the glass panels of the lab, hoping Katniss wouldn’t see me. She likely wouldn’t, considering I could see her looking into a microscope. Gathering up my courage, I knocked on the glass door, and both Cailean and Katniss looked up at me. Katniss smiled, and Cailean, who was nearer, got up to open the door. “Hey, mate. How’re you feeling?” Cailean asked me, pulling me into a familiar-feeling brotherly hug.

“Much better,” I told the man I’d come to learn was my brother-in-law.

“Glad to be out of hospital, yeah?” Cailean asked me, and I nodded.

“I’ve had enough of needles and catheters,” I told him with a chuckle, and then I looked at Katniss, who was still seated at the table. “Hey,” I said to her.

“Hey,” she replied, and then she finally stood up and the two of us walked towards each other, meeting in the middle and embracing each other tightly. “I’m so happy to finally see you out of that bloody bed.”

“I’m glad to  _ be _ out of it,” I said with a chuckle, and then I pulled back from our embrace and met her beautiful silver eyes. “Happy anniversary... Here’s uh... this cup of piss...” What the  _ fuck _ , Peet? Why the hell would you say  _ that _ of all things? Her smile was strained just a little as she put on a glove and accepted the cup of urine from me.

“Thanks,” she said. “You know, most husbands get their wives something like chocolates or flowers... Mine gives me a cup of urine.” She was amused, and she kissed my blushing cheek before lightly pecking me on the lips. “I’m actually very glad to have it because with every cup of urine you give me, the better we understand the venom vaccine and how your body’s responding to it. Remember, we hadn’t tested it on anyone before we gave it to you, you’d be dead otherwise. Just on the flesh cubes.”

“Right, the creepy ass cubes of human flesh,” I said as I watched her walk over to some device, taking a dropper and opening the cup to deposit some of its contents into the device.

“Basically, what we’re trying to do is monitor your blood toxicity as well as the percentage of venom in your urine. We need to know how much is expelled, how long it works for, how big of a dose we actually have to give you - because we estimated on that - and how often you’ll actually need it. I told you that you’d likely be on it for the rest of your life, right?” she asked me.

“Unfortunately,” I replied.

“I wish I could just rid your entire system of it, but I’m no magician... Unfortunately, we’ll have to play by the rules that life and science have set for us,” she said playfully.

“You don’t happen to know about Annie and Johanna, do you? How they’re doing? I haven’t seen them,” I asked.

“Annie’s awake and showing improvement. Her renal numbers are slowly improving which may mean that she might regain her kidney function, but her liver isn’t showing signs of improvement yet. Johanna’s liver and kidneys all failed and they managed to find a donor to match for her kidney and Cailean grew her an artificial liver,” Katniss told me, glancing at her brother.

“You grew a liver?” I asked Cailean.

“Yup! We can grow some organs like the liver, the pancreas and even bone marrow from the genetics of the host, but kidneys are a bit more complicated otherwise I would have grown that, too. I am working on it, though,” Cailean replied.

“You’re a real genius, aren’t you?” I asked, and he chuckled.

“I prefer the term ‘smarty-pants’ as Carolina’s mum used to say,” he told me with amusement.

“Any idea when Johanna might be good to sit on the Senate or are we gonna have to find someone else?” I asked Katniss, who glanced up at me. She glanced briefly at Cailean for a moment.

“Cailean, keep an eye on the test, will you? I was told by Haymitch this morning that we shouldn’t discuss Senate things outside of the Senate,” she said, and Cailean agreed while Katniss took me by the hand and led me out of the lab.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a problem,” I started to say, but she turned and shushed me, then pressed her lips against mine.

“Shh, you didn’t. I was trying to find an excuse to slip away with you,” she told me, her hands moving up starting on my chest and then ending on my shoulders. “We haven’t actually been  _ alone _ together since before the Quell.”

“We’re not alone now, either,” I told her, noting someone passing by in the hall.

“Guess we’ve got to find somewhere else, then,” she replied. “Your mother is likely helping out in the kitchen and the girls will be with the other young children in the childcare room... That’ll give us our room to ourselves.”

“Our room?”

“Now that you’re better, you’re moving in with us, aren’t you?” She brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes and I smiled down at her. I wasn’t much taller than her, only a few inches, but I still enjoyed looking down into the hungry eyes of my wife.

“Absolutely. I just wasn’t sure how to broach the topic,” I told her, bending down to kiss her forehead. “I did still want to talk about the senate stuff, though, and get caught up before the first meeting.”

“Peeta, I am trying to seduce you and that isn’t a very sexy topic.” I couldn’t help but let out a laugh at Katniss’s blunt comment and I bent down again to kiss her.

“Let’s talk about it on our way to our room, then,” I told her, taking her hand in mine. “Lead the way?” She nodded, and she led me towards the nearest stair unit. “So, back to my original question... Do you think Johanna will be able to sit on the senate?”

“Not right away. Haymitch knows her best out of all of us who aren’t on the senate so he may step in for a little bit for her until she’s able, or until we find someone else to represent Seven,” Katniss replied.

“Don’t non-Victors have to be elected?” I asked, knowing that I had told Gale that earlier.

“That’s the preferred method of getting them on the senate, yes, but we might not have time to wait for an election. We may just have to find a leader of a rebellion in the districts to represent them. The sooner we start, the sooner we can end Snow’s regime.”

“But we can’t even get started because we don’t even know what’s happening in the districts.”

“Unfortunately not.” A moment of silence passed between us as she opened a door to a lower floor, stepping aside to let me pass first.

“I bumped into Gale on my way to the lab,” I said suddenly, and she scoffed.

“What’d he have to say?”

“Oh the usual ‘my dick is bigger than your dick’ type of attitude.” Katniss snorted and let out a laugh, one of the laughs that I found most adorable, and we stopped and I wrapped my arms around her waist while hers snaked their way around my neck. “He said he wants to run for a position on the senate to represent Twelve.”

“He can’t. Twelve has three Victors and two of them have agreed to sit on the senate,” Katniss replied indignantly.

“I know, that’s what I said,” I told her. “He wanted to challenge me but I didn’t let him, told him I’m not competing with him and that I was tired of the pissing contests, and then I walked away from him.”

“And he let you? Damn, he must really respect you,” said Katniss, playing with my hair at the nape of my neck.

“‘Respect’ is the nice way of putting it. I’d say he tolerates me, but would prefer not to deal with me. Not to ‘have me in his way’.”

“I don’t want to talk about Gale anymore...” She stood up on her toes and brought her lips closer to my face, lightly kissing my cheek until she made a trail back to my ear. “Take me to bed, Peeta.”

“Show me the way,” I whispered back to her, reminding her that I’d never been to our room before, and she led the way. When we arrived, the room was fairly small, but it was a family room so it had two bedrooms plus the living area. The smaller bedroom was our room, and the larger bedroom was where the girls slept, larger to accommodate larger families. On the couch was a nearly folded blanket sitting on top of a pillow - likely my mother’s bed. After letting me take in the scene before me, I felt Katniss’s small hand in mine and she led me to what would be our bedroom, closing the door behind me and wrapping her arms around my neck to pull my lips in for a kiss.

“Now we’re alone,” she told me quietly, smiling at me. A small part of me was still very nervous. I knew this wasn’t our first time - obviously, considering we have two children and Lark looks identical to me - but it felt like it was, and it was definitely our first time in quite a while. We were both so deprived of each other and I both wanted to ravage her like an animal and take it slow, making sure she never forgot how much I loved her, but I didn’t know where to start. I swallowed, then nodded cautiously.

“Yeah,” I said, feeling her hand carefully stroke the side of my face.

“You’re so handsome,” she told me. “When did I get so lucky?”

“I think when your name was pulled out of a glass bowl,” I replied, attempting to make a joke, but failing miserably. She smiled sadly, then stood on her toes to kiss me again.

“We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to... but I would like it if we could lie down together,” she told me. Goddamn her for knowing me so well.

“I want to do this,” I replied firmly. “I just... I’m nervous and I don’t know why. I mean, we’ve done this hundreds of times.”

“But not since before the Quell, and not since before... before your hijacking,” she said, running her hand through my hair. “Why don’t we take it slow, then? We can start by lying down together.” We did just that, crawling onto the bed and curling up beside each other. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and she wrapped her arms around my midsection, resting her head on my chest, her ear over my heart.

“I love you,” I whispered to her, my cheek resting on her forehead and my fingers running through her hair.

“I love you,” she said, pushing aside the collar of my own grey jumpsuit and pressing a kiss to my collarbone. I didn’t know what to say next - for once, I was completely lost for words and couldn’t even think of what to say next. Katniss could detect this, and she saved me by lifting her head from my chest and pressing her lips against mine. I kissed her back with the desire that I felt for her, but I couldn’t help but still feel a little nervous at the thought of being intimate with her. I felt her hands undo the front buttons of my jumpsuit and her warm palms press flat against my chest, and then she undid her own buttons. She sat back just a little, her lips still on mine, so that she could slip out of the top half of the jumpsuit, revealing the cream-coloured tank top beneath - and the outline of her firm, rounded breasts.

She’d never been very large, but of course, these breasts had fed two babies now - well, one, considering she’d dried up after Maevis was born. But they grew to accommodate two pregnancies, and started to accommodate a third one that was lost prematurely. She still wasn’t large, but she was still beautiful. Through my reflecting, I didn’t even feel my own right hand rise to place itself on her left breast while my left arm cradled her, and she smiled into the kiss. She then pulled me to sit up and slipped the jumpsuit off of my shoulders, revealing my white cotton t-shirt, and replaced my hand on her breast, all while our lips were still in contact. Once the jumpsuit was piled around my waist, she pushed me back onto the bed and straddled me, my cheeks in either of her hands and our lips fiercely fighting for dominance. I felt her tongue wet my lower lip and I granted her access, allowing her to deepen the kiss even further, and she sat up a little to allow her to continue unbuttoning my jumpsuit down to my crotch. I broke the kiss in that moment, surprising her just a little, and looked up at her, meeting her silver eyes with my blue ones.

“Are you okay? Is it too much?” she asked me, worry swimming in her eyes.

“No,” I said, sitting up while she sat back on my thighs. “You can’t be the one doing  _ all _ of the work.” With that said, I motioned for her to get off of my legs so I could pull the jumpsuit off of my legs, kicking my shoes off and tossing all three items onto the floor beside the bed. I sat before her now in just the t-shirt and my boxers, my cheeks bright pink, matching the colour of her swollen lips. She smiled at me, then moved to finish unbuttoning her own jumpsuit, but I stopped her, doing the work for her and helping her slip out of it. She wore a pair of small shorts underneath her jumpsuit, as well as a pair of underwear underneath them, and once the jumpsuit was off of her, she sat on her knees, waiting for me to make the next move.

I then took her by the waist and pulled her onto my lap, kissing her lips, then her cheek and all the way up to her ear, taking her free earlobe in between my lips and lightly sucking on it in the way that I remembered she liked. She groaned gently, her hands gripping the back of my shirt tightly. “Mmm... Peeta...” she moaned.

“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered to her, kissing a trail down to her neck and sucking on a sensitive spot there. She moaned my name over and over and with one arm, I flipped us over, laying her on her back and hovering over her, supporting myself with my arms and knees. Her arms were around my neck and her hands were buried in my hair, tugging at my curls and begging me for more. I pulled back for a moment to meet her eyes, dark with desire for me - of all people,  _ me _ \- and kissed her on her lips. While I kissed her, my hands made their way down to her waist and shuffled underneath her shirt, touching the warm flesh of her abdomen, and slowly, they made their way back up her sides, her shirt catching on my wrists and bunching up as my hands moved upward. They stopped just below her breasts and I paused, pulling back to make sure that this was still okay, and she smiled and grasped at her shirt, pulling it off over her head and revealing a soft cotton piece of cloth that I supposed was a bra concealing her breasts from me. “Take it off,” I whispered to her, and she did, slipping the bra off over her head and revealing her breasts to me.

“Are they as good as you remember?” she asked me as my eyes drank her in.

“Even better than I remember,” I muttered, my right hand being the first to brave attempting to touch them. When my thumb ran over her nipple, she gasped just a little, then settled into the bed as my thumb drew little circles over it.

“Oh, god, Peeta... You’ve got magic hands,” she moaned, her arms falling above her head as she bared herself to me. I smiled at what I could do to her, and then I lowered my lips to her other breast, drawing out a louder and firmer gasp from her. My tongue flicked out over her nipple and her hands were back in my hair, pulling at my curls and she moaned in pleasure. When I thought I’d teased her enough, I pulled back and kissed my way back to her lips. “You can’t tease me like that,” she said as soon as I broke our kiss, and I chuckled.

“You said we’re taking it slow,” I replied, raising one hand to run a finger down the side of her face. “I’m planning on taking things  _ real _ slow.”

“You’re going to torture me,” she muttered, and I lowered my head to her ear.

“It’s the only way I know I’ll be able to last,” I whispered to her. “You don’t want the fun to end early, do you?” I sucked on her earlobe again and she moaned as she answered ‘no’. “Didn’t think so...” I buried my lips in her neck and shifted one of my hands down to her hips, cupping her cheeks and firmly grasping her buttocks, which made her hiss in sexual frustration. Deciding to give me one more chance, she reached down to remove her shorts, leaving only her underwear, and tossed them aside - I always loved removing her underwear anyway. As I kissed her neck and massaged her buttocks, she ground her hips into me, causing me to get very hard very fast, and I let out a moan. When she felt my erection, she smiled with satisfaction and lowered her own hands to my lower back, playing with the hem of my shirt.

“You’re a little overdressed, don’t you think?” she asked me, mirroring what she’d said four years ago on this very same day on the night that we were married. I smiled into her neck, then sat up on top of her and pulled my shirt off for her, tossing it onto the ground. Her hands snaked their way up to my chest and got lost in the blonde hairs that were growing there, her warm palms flat against my chest. The muscles I’d had before the Games had atrophied a bit, but they were still firm and strong. As she noticed this, her smile faded, and she sat up to press a trail of kisses along the top of my chest. “You’ve lost so much of your muscle...”

“We can blame Snow for that. He made sure I was always starving,” I whispered back to her as she lifted her head and brought my forehead down to rest against hers. “I’ll be okay... I’ll always be strong enough to hold you.” As if to prove my point, I wrapped my arms firmly around her and held her against my chest, our bare chests pressed tightly against each other, and Katniss tightly held me in her arms and planted little kisses along my jaw. “I believe we were in the middle of something...” She smiled against my skin and then pulled back from our embrace, dragging me down to lie on top of her again as we kissed again and again.

“I don’t want to go slow anymore,” she whispered to me. “Make love to me, Peeta... I miss you so much.” I nodded gently, then kissed her again as I slid my hand down to first rest on her hip, giving her one last chance to stop me, and when she didn’t, I slid my hand beneath the band of her underwear, losing my fingers in the dark curls that fronted her most intimate place. As my fingers moved further south, they brushed against her sensitive little nub, resulting in a moan from her as she shifted beneath me, but that little nub wasn’t my goal yet. No, I went a little further to test the waters - she was soaking wet, waiting for me to satiate her needs, and I rubbed along the outside of her folds. Groaning in frustration, Katniss shifted a little to start to remove her underwear, but I stopped her. “Peeta, I want them off! Take them off, then!” she whined at me, and I chuckled at her insistence.

“All right, all right,” I said, removing my hand from between her legs to slide her underwear off. Now  _ this _ was a view I’d missed. My beautiful wife, Katniss Mellark, fully nude and dripping wet just for me, her perky breasts taut and swollen, her lips swollen from kissing mine, and her hips raised just a little to provide me with the best angle as she waited for me to enter her, but it had been a while, and truth to be told, I knew nothing about female anatomy other than what drove her nuts during sex. Since it had been a while, I thought it best to insert a finger first, and then two, until I realised that I had a craving to taste her.

“ _ Peeta _ ,” she groaned. “I need you!”

“I’m craving you, baby,” I muttered to her, shifting down so that my face was between her legs, and slowly, I lowered my mouth over her most private parts, savouring her flavour as she moaned and writhed underneath me.

“Peeta... Peeta, I’m gonna...” she moaned as I sucked her little nub in between my lips, and then she stilled my head with her hands. Confused, I picked my head up and looked at her, her eyes wild with desire, barely teetering over the edge. “Inside me.  _ Now, _ ” she demanded, and I couldn’t help but let out a gentle chuckle.

“All right, impatient,” I replied, pushing myself back up and kissing her lips one more time. “Last chance to stop me.”

“If you don’t get inside me within the next five seconds, I swear you’ll regret teasing me like this, Peeta Mellark,” she hissed at me through gritted teeth.

“You’re cute when you’re mad at me,” I told her, kissing her cheek. I then sat up a bit to remove my boxers, my erection springing free as the article of clothing slipped down and was tossed aside, and upon first glance, Katniss sat up and reached to grab it, but I took her hand in mine.

“‘If you don’t get inside me within the next five seconds, I swear you’ll regret teasing me, Peeta Mellark’,” I mimicked her, and she growled at me like an angry cat, lying back down on her back. Straddling her hips, I grasped myself in my hand, directing myself to her sopping wet entrance, but first, I lifted my head to meet her hungry, hardened eyes, which softened the moment they met the loving look in mine. “I love you so much, Katniss... You have no idea how honoured I am to have the privilege of doing this with you.”

“Only you, Peeta. No one else. There never was and there never will be anyone else,” she told me, a loving tone replacing the animalistic growl she had given me earlier. I smiled down at her, happier in that moment than I thought possible, and bent down to kiss her lips once more. Her palm rested on my cheek as our eyes met. “I love you more than anything, Peeta.”

“And I love you, so damn much,” I told her, and I kissed her once more before plunging into her. Not too quickly, of course, but slowly, giving her time to readjust to my size. Together, we let out a soft moan as we each reacted to the familiar sensation, and then settled into a rhythm once I was fully sheathed within her. Her hips met mine with every thrust as we made love and her hands buried themselves in my hair, my lips lost in her neck. When we were together, it felt like time would stop and we were constantly high off of each other. One of my hands cradled her head while the other teased her breast, but when I felt myself flying too close to the sun, I knew I was about to erupt, so I lowered that hand to rub small circles on her sensitive little nub to bring her up into the clouds with me. “Katniss,” I whispered. “I’m gonna come... Come with me, baby...”

“I will, Peeta,” she said back to me breathlessly, and we both let go, sharing our release with one another as she tightened around me and I exploded within her. Her hands balled into fists in my hair and my hand that cradled her head gripped her hair as well, and then we fell back to earth together, my body collapsing on top of hers. We breathed heavily to catch our breaths and we simply listened to the racing hearts of each other, the scent of sweat and sex and the scents that were unique only to us surrounding us. As I lay my head on her chest, the pair of us still connected at the hip post-coital, I kissed her bare shoulder, and she kissed my forehead, brushing some sweat-soaked hair off of my forehead. “I love you,” she told me. “I’m never letting go of you...”

“I love you, and I’m sorry I let go of you in the first place... I promise I’ll never let you go again,” I replied, resting my head again on her shoulder.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she replied, stroking my hair and my upper back. I didn’t answer her, but I did widen my eyes as I made a realisation.

“I didn’t use protection,” I said, and then I sat up and looked at her. “I’m so sorry, I... I didn’t think...”

“It’s okay,” she told me. “Coin didn’t want my body interfering with my duties as the Mockingjay, so she made sure I had a contraceptive shot. It’ll last me anywhere from three to five years.”

“Oh,” I said. “Good, good...” I laid my head on her shoulder again, not wanting to separate from her quite yet. Eventually, I had to, because a certain impatient and demanding wife of mine wanted a second round, and then a third, and then a fourth, and I made sure to make each round a little bit longer each time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s going to end up happening to the senate? Who’s going to represent District Thirteen, and how are they going to figure out how to find the remaining Victors?
> 
> Please review!


	14. The District Senate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The earliest form of the Senate is formed and sworn in. Two Victors that had initially escaped the Hotel make an appearance in Thirteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a Panem map that I made for reference because I didn’t like any of the other ones :)
> 
> https://drive.google.com/file/d/1k7X6SwJTeagFGCwoQA6YyiJL4UbJBN10/view?usp=drivesdk

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

We couldn’t ignore our responsibilities in favour of being in bed together forever, so eventually, Peeta and I had to get out for the very first senate meeting on Monday, the third of October. The hijacking victims were all doing much better. There was evidence that the vaccine was still working to rid their systems of the venom now three weeks from the initial injection and both Annie and Johanna were doing better, but Johanna was still in the hospital and Annie was recovering from a liver transplant (her liver was too damaged to function properly, so Cailean grew her a liver for transplant). Peeta was probably the best off out of all three of them, considering he had the smallest amount of venom in his system from the start.

We walked hand in hand down to what had become the new Command Room, where the dubbed Disaster Reaponse Team was waiting along with the few of us who were going to sit on the Senate. The members of the Disaster Response Team were the ones who were already leaders or on track to becoming leaders in Thirteen - so Commander Jackson, Carolina, Calum, Gale and a couple of others - while the rest of us - Freya, Beetee, Finnick, Peeta and myself - were Victors. Johanna was not present, and neither was Annie, but Haymitch was representing Johanna as a stand-in and Finnick was speaking for Annie.

“Good morning,” Carolina began. “As you’re all aware, today, we’re officially forming the Senate. We have documentation that will be signed by every sitting member of the Senate by district and as positions on the Senate are filled, those representatives will sign as well.”

“Your girl’s good at this political stuff,” I heard Finnick whisper to Haymitch, who shushed him. It was a little strange to see Haymitch so... different. I suppose realising you have a child that’s nearly two decades old will change a person, but he seemed a lot more alert and seemed to actually care for once. Carolina was a reason for him to fight - don’t we all want a better future for our children?

“I did some research into how senates were formed in the past, and the most notable were Parliament in an old country called the United Kingdom of Great Britain, the House of Representatives and the Senate of the former United States of America, which once stood where Panem is now, and the Senate of Ancient Rome. Each senator would give a pledge to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, for example. We do not yet _have_ a constitution, but that would be better to form with a full, or at least almost complete, senate anyway. So I’ve written a pledge based on the pledge of senators of the United States and each of you will pledge to join the Senate,” Carolina continued.

“What about Thirteen? Do you know who’s representing you?” Peeta asked her.

“We’re holding an election this Friday. This week, we’ll give speeches and campaign and on Friday, the people of Thirteen will vote for who they want to be their senators. Calum, Gale, Mitchell and myself will all be running for the position,” she said, referring to one of the two unnamed men that were sitting by her.

“Gale’s not from Thirteen,” I said, sending Gale a scowl. Peeta didn’t exactly look very happy, either.

“He gave up his Twelve citizenship to become a citizen of District Thirteen,” said Calum.

“Oh, did he, now?” I asked, continuing my nasty glare at Gale, who remained stoic.

“Right, on with the pledge. But first, about Annie Cresta and Johanna Mason. Any word on if they’ll officially be on the Senate?” Carolina asked Finnick and Haymitch.

“Johanna will do it, but she ain’t well enough to right now,” Haymitch replied. “She can pledge and sign from her bed, though.”

“Annie doesn’t want to be on the Senate. She doesn’t believe that she’s the right choice to represent District Four, and frankly, I don’t want her to be associated with the Senate,” Finnick told her.

“Very well, we’ll go in district order then,” Carolina said, shuffling some papers. “Freya Deshannon, District Two.” She clicked some sort of remote at the wall, where a screen came down, and on the screen was what looked like the pledge that Carolina had written. Also present was a camera that had been set up to film, likely for a propo, but there was no one to man it. “Just stand here in front of the document, raise your right hand, look at the camera and repeat the words on the screen. When you’re done, sign your name on the document under District Two.” Freya did as she was told, standing in front of the document and raising her right hand.

“I, Freya Deshannon of District Two, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the freedom of Panem against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter,” she said confidently, and then she bent down over the document to sign her name officially as the first member of the Senate.

“Beetee Latier, District Three,” said Carolina, and Beetee took Freya’s place.

“I, Beetee Latier of District Three, do solemnly swear...” he said, reciting the rest of the pledge, and when he was finished, he signed the document on the table before him.

“Finnick Odair of District Four,” said Carolina as Beetee left the table and Finnick took his place.

“I, Finnick Odair of District Four, do solemnly swear...” said Finnick as he stared down the camera, as if he was looking into the beady eyes of Snow himself. When he finished reciting the pledge, he signed the document on the table, then stepped aside.

“Katniss Mellark of District Twelve,” said Carolina, meeting my eyes. I nodded to her and stood up, standing where Finnick stood moments before. I raised my right hand, then looked at the camera in front of me.

“I, Katniss Mellark of District Twelve... do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the freedom of Panem against all enemies... foreign and domestic. That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation freely, without any mental... r...” I stumbled on the English word that I didn’t recognise, and as always, Peeta came to my rescue. We didn’t have the letter ‘v’ in the Gàidhlig language, so any word with a ‘v’ almost always threw me for a loop. Learning to pronounce ‘Twelve’ was quite challenging when I was a child.

“Reservation,” he whispered.

“Reservation or purpose of... of... evasion?” Peeta nodded. “And that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter,” I said, and then I bent down to the paper before me and signed the document under District Twelve. Peeta was next, saved for last because he was the only of the three hijacking victims who appears to have made a full recovery and it would be seen as a shock to Snow, we hoped, that he was alive and well.

“Peeta Mellark of District Twelve,” Carolina announced, and Peeta approached me as I stepped away from the table, taking my place and confidently raising his right hand.

“I, Peeta Mellark of District Twelve, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the freedom of Panem against all enemies, foreign and domestic...” he began. He sounded so confident and strong as he recited the pledge, whereas I had sounded weak and unsure of myself only moments before. I never did well with a script, but Peeta never had trouble speaking. When he finished, he signed his name on the document below mine under District Twelve, and then glanced at the camera one final time before reclaiming his seat beside me. He firmly grasped my hand and we exchanged a glance.

“Now, that’s all done and said,” Carolina said as she shut off the camera.

“Are you filming a propo?” Finnick asked her.

“We think it’s too risky to send out a propo right now, especially since you all have to go back into the districts to rescue the other Victors. Maybe we’ll put one together after most or all of them are here in Thirteen,” Carolina replied. “And if not then these films are for history. One day, when we’ve won, we’ll look back at the people who started the rebellion and the people who led it and we’ll all be so proud, won’t we?”

“Yes, but in the meantime, we need to focus on _training_ for the mission. If we even want a future, we have to be prepared for it. The lower floors where training is are fine. Training begins first thing tomorrow morning,” Commander Jackson replied. We didn’t iron out anything else, other than write down the names of the other Victors that we would be searching for. The meeting was dismissed, and while everyone else filed out, Peeta, Haymitch and I stayed behind, not moving from our seats. None of us knew really what to think or to say, but it was evident that the three of us wanted to talk about something. We hadn’t spoken with just the three of us in quite some time.

“What’ll ya do with the girls when ya both go out on that mission?” Haymitch asked suddenly, knowing that Peeta was going to make sure we went out together - I, on the other hand, had other plans.

“They’ll probably stay with my mother and Prim. They’re as safe as they can get here,” Peeta replied. “And you, too, of course. I’m assuming you’re staying here?”

“I’m too old to go out on missions,” Haymitch replied, and then he looked at me. “So your cousin gave up citizenship to run to be on the Senate for Thirteen, huh, sweetheart?”

“He’s not my cousin,” I replied testily. “Or even my friend.” I felt Peeta’s hand on my upper back, instantly feeling calmer at his touch. “I don’t think him being on the Senate would be very wise. Our goal now is to take a less violent approach, and he’s all for it.”

“I heard he’s been workin’ on weapons development with your brother and Beetee, or at least had been before the bombin’. Don’t know about now,” Haymitch replied.

“Calum told me that they started working again a few days ago, so likely, he is again,” I replied. “I don’t want a warrior on the Senate.”

“But what about your brother? You just said he’s developing weapons, too. And Beetee. Are you suggesting we kick them off the Senate, too?” Peeta asked me.

“Calum isn’t even on the Senate yet, but I know he’ll be voted in. The difference between Calum and Gale and Beetee and Gale is Beetee and Calum are relatively non-violent. They’re creative with technology. Gale is likely the one talking about weapons,” I told him.

“Katniss... are you sure that Gale’s tendency for violence is what’s making up your mind? Or is it your history with him?” Peeta asked, and I raised my eyebrows at him, sending him a scowl.

“Of all people, are you _seriously_ suggesting that I’m biased against Gale? You know what kind of person he is, Peeta! He’s laid his hands on me more than once and I’ve known for _years_ that he’s secretly been wanting to bomb the bloody Capitol! He’s a violent person, Peeta, and I don’t want a violent person on the Senate. And I don’t want to discuss this anymore,” I snapped at him, and I tried to stand, but he grabbed my forearm and pulled me back down.

“Katniss, of course I’m pissed at him, too, but we want the same thing. We want the rebellion to win, and we want to keep you safe. If there is _anything_ that Gale and I agree on, it’s the fact that we want you to be safe. I can’t help but wonder if him being on the Senate will help me do that,” he told me firmly, and I glared at him yet again.

“You’re not seriously putting me before the rebellion, are you?” I asked him.

“Yes, I am. I don’t give a shit about what happens so long as you and our daughters are safe. Winning the rebellion is the best way I know how to do that,” he told me. “Would you put me before the rebellion?” Why was he asking me this? For years, I was only concerned about keeping our daughters safe and doing whatever Snow wanted to keep them safe, even refusing to hear about any talk of a rebellion. I’d put my daughters before the rebellion, but would I do that for Peeta? I had already told him once, when I thought he might be dying from the venom poison, that I would do what it took to keep our daughters safe no matter what... but I knew that I would never be happy again if I lost him. I met his eyes, my scowl softening.

“I’d put my family before anything,” I answered him. “Winning the rebellion is my greatest chance at keeping everyone I love safe. I’m sorry if the way I want to do that differs from yours.” I pulled my arm from his and stood. “I don’t want Gale on the Senate, but if he’s voted in then I have no say about it. You do as you like, though.” I turned and started towards the door.

“Katniss, please, don’t walk away from me,” Peeta told me, and when I turned to look at him, he was standing at the table, Haymitch glancing between us looking as if he were watching a really interesting film.

“Then come with me, you’re due for a blood test and a urine analysis in the lab,” I told him neutrally. He glanced at Haymitch, who started snickering at the mention of Peeta needing a urine analysis, and Peeta stood and followed me out of the Command Room.

“Katniss,” he said when we were nearly to the lab, and he grabbed me by the wrist. When I turned to see what he wanted, he pulled me closer to him, took my face in his hands and kissed me, any anger I had towards him immediately dissipating. “Don’t ever forget that I love you,” he whispered to me, and I nodded.

“I know,” I told him, letting him kiss me again before we headed for the lab. When we arrived, we learned that his blood toxicity had decreased yet again and the expelled venom in his urine matched up with the numbers of his blood toxicity.

Training started the next morning, and we fell into a pretty simple routine. We would train for two weeks and then go out into the districts searching for the missing Victors, and with every passing moment, my apprehension about Peeta going made me nervous. What if we ran out of his medicine? He was still being monitored after the initial vaccination... No, he wasn’t going, and I told Commander Jackson that asking her to keep quiet about it. We told Peeta that the mission would leave later than it actually was, so I would be able to slip out of bed while he was still sleeping, and he wouldn’t be the wiser. Carolina and Calum had won the election to represent District Thirteen, which surprised no one, and I couldn’t help the snide look on my face at Gale not being voted in, which Peeta elbowed off of me. They were sworn into the Senate immediately.

On the morning of the seventh day of training, Peeta and I woke up to the sound of our first alarm, set to go off an hour before we actually had to get up. We had a routine of rolling over in the morning and stripping each other naked if we weren’t already and making love until a few minutes before we had to be at training, so Peeta set some extra alarms to give us extra time. When the first alarm went off, he rolled over to me and kissed my forehead, then my cheek, and then planted little kisses on my face until I fully woke up. “Morning,” I muttered to him sleepily, and he chuckled gently.

“‘Ma-tayne vah’ to you, too,” he told me, and I raised my eyebrow at his butchered attempt to speak Gàidhlig.

“What?” I asked him.

“You said it in Gàidhlig,” he told me in a hushed whisper, and then he captured my lips with his. “C’mon, honey, we don’t have much time.” It was my turn to smile up at him, feeling a surge of love for him at the mention of his pet name for me.

“You haven’t called me that in ages,” I told him, raising a hand to rest on his cheek. He took my hand and kissed my palm.

“Make love to me, _honey_ ,” he whispered huskily to me, and I granted him his wish. We were a little late getting out of bed and getting ready, and our children distracted us to the point where we were running late already. We said our goodbyes for the day and ran off to the training room, which could be found on the sixteenth floor below the residential floors. When we arrived, Calum was there working with Beetee on some sort of weapon and no one else was present (when not in use for training, the training room was also used for weapons development since the original weapons development room was destroyed).

“Where is everyone?” I asked my brother.

“Training’s been delayed. A couple of Victors just showed up outside this morning,” Calum replied.

“Victors? Who?” Peeta asked him, but Calum shrugged.

“I’m not really sure, actually. They’re a bit older though, maybe twenty years older than us,” he replied. There were a number of Victors that they could be then. There was Pascasia Mazarinne who was the oldest of the escaped Victors, then maybe Dravius Pillock - yes, he won the year after Beetee had won and the consecutive victories for District Three was mentioned in our history class. There was Rufus Ripley who seemed like a nice man, and then Ellorah Harpernet, Lenerok Kifflin and Zosia Verity had to all be older than Haymitch, considering they’d won their Games before he did. Cytherea Lewes, Odeon Avisdee, Chase Winters and Prodigy Prelius were a little younger than Haymitch, and everyone after that won their games recently enough that they’d be in their twenties or thirties - so truly, the arrivals could have been _any_ of the twelve escaped Victors.

We ran off to the hospital, where the two Victors were brought immediately, and as members of the Senate, Peeta and I were admitted into the section of the hospital that had been blocked off to accommodate the Victors. “Who is it?” Peeta whispered to Freya Deshannon, who seemed quite intrigued by the new arrivals.

“It’s Lenerok and Prodigy Prelius,” she told us. “They look worse for wear and probably a little skinny, but they still both won their Games and they were both forest arenas, so they were prepared.”

“Neither of ‘em won their Games within the last twenty years,” Haymitch chimed in.

“Not true, Prodigy won nineteen years ago,” Finnick told him, and Haymitch scowled at him.

“Hush up, fish boy,” he spat back.

“Well, bloody hell, shouldn’t we leave them be?” I asked the group. “Let them rest, we can talk to them later.”

“Actually, Mrs. Mellark, Ms. Prelius wants to speak to you,” said a doctor who emerged from the closed-off cubicle - the one that had previously housed Peeta when he was hospitalised.

“Shouldn’t she rest? She must have been through so much,” I said, not exactly wanting to go in there alone.

“Ms. Prelius is insistent,” the doctor told me.

“Go on, it’ll be okay,” I heard Peeta whisper to me, his palm flat against my lower back. “She might have something important to say to you.” Of course Peeta would be the one to convince me, so I nodded and followed the doctor into the cubicle.

Prodigy Prelius looked so unlike how I remembered. During the Games, I remembered her as a kindly mother-like figure with pretty blonde hair and charming, homely brown eyes. She wasn’t frail, but she was thin, and any muscle she had in her youth had dissipated. From watching the 70th Games, I remembered occasionally seeing her since her twelve-year-old daughter had foolishly volunteered for the Games, and back then she was more muscular and looked strong. But now, she was skinnier than ever, with her shoulder bones poking out through her hospital gown and her cheekbones sticking out as well. Her brown eyes looked tired and there were dark circles under her eyes, and her wrist was bandaged, cast and in a sling. An oxygen tube rested just below her nose and she seemed to struggle to take breaths. “Hello, Katniss,” she said when she met my eyes.

“Ms. Prelius, if you’re out of breath, you shouldn’t waste it speaking-” I began, but she cut me off.

“Call me Prodigy, please,” she said weakly. “I need to talk to someone, and you’re the kindest one I knew. After spending weeks with no one but Lenerok, well... I could use a kind face.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Peeta’s the kind one,” I told her, and she smiled with amusement.

“Have a seat, Katniss,” she replied, gesturing to the seat beside her bed. I’d sat in this same seat for several hours when Peeta was recovering. “They were asking Lenerok and I to tell them what had happened to us and to the rest of the Victors... Lenerok collapsed and is now unconscious so they were asking me, but I don’t trust anyone here. That young blonde girl, she seems nice, but I don’t know her and I don’t trust her. Surely, you know how that is.” Being a victor, I hardly trusted anyone, too. I still didn’t fully trust Carolina, or even Calum, who seemed fairly well integrated into weapons development and invested in the war - I trusted Cailean, though, and besides Peeta, he was the only other one I trusted.

But could I even trust Peeta? He kept the rebellion a secret from me, and he kept what Snow did to him in the Capitol a secret as well. He didn’t even tell me he told Gale to leave the district. Why wouldn’t he tell me about any of those things? Did he not trust _me_? If he didn’t trust me fully, then how could I trust him? I loved him and I wanted so much to give myself to him completely, and physically, I have... This train of thought simply justified my reason for not telling Peeta that he’s not going on the mission.

Remembering that Prodigy was waiting for a response from me, I nodded. “Yes, I know that very well,” I replied.

“When we all managed to escape, we were in the sewer system in the lower levels of the Capitol. Down there were a couple of Avoxes who found us and instead of turning us in, they helped us get to the edge of the Capitol undetected, but they couldn’t do anything beyond that. Evidently, they wear these sort of collars that prevent them from leaving the Capitol. I think they get shocked or something?”

“How were you able to communicate with the Avoxes? They don’t have tongues so they can’t speak.”

“Lenerok knew sign language and was able to communicate with them. Apparently he was a part of some sort of underground resistance in District Two,” Prodigy told me.

“Yes, the Warrior Elite, Freya mentioned them to me.”

“Yes. Once we were out of the Capitol, we had a whole new problem to face. The Capitol was looking for us, and both Odeon and Lenerok thought it best if we all split up into smaller groups. We were told to head towards District Thirteen, but many of us didn’t even know if it was real, let alone where it even was. We just knew that it was somewhere north of District Twelve, but even that knowledge is minimal. Once I realised that the Capitol was distorting our image of Panem’s size, I knew that we didn’t _really_ know where any other district were, except maybe our neighbouring districts.”

“What do you mean ‘distorting’?”

“Haven’t you figured it out? Do you really think it takes a day to get to one district?” I suppose I should have thought of that. It still wasn’t a short amount of time to get from one district to another, but I didn’t think of how it might not be as long, either. “The train circles the districts a few times to make it seem like Panem is so much larger. It helps keep us disoriented and separate.”

“I suppose that makes sense. They told us Panem was thousands of miles long.”

“Lenerok says it’s actually only a little under three thousand miles across.” Huh. The distance from Panem to Uibhist was supposed to be about three thousand miles, too. So Panem really _wasn’t_ that big after all.

“How did you find Thirteen?”

“Well, Lenerok said that the Warrior Elite had an idea of where Thirteen once was. Our education in One, Two, Three and Six is a little closer to the truth than it is in other districts. One is the Capitol’s favourite so of course we’re granted more privileges, Two is the military district so they need to have a more accurate idea of where everything is, and Three and Six often work together creating technology for travel and such. With that knowledge, and the Warrior Elite’s snooping, Lenerok had a pretty good idea of where to go, so he told the group and then we split up and made our way north.”

“Do you remember the teams?”

“Sort of... I remember who Aristotle was with. He’s from my district and I was his mentor. He went with Clarabella Dustin and they headed off into Seven. Two groups went through Seven and the rest of us went through Ten. We faced some resistance about halfway through Ten and split up again with Lenerok and I and then Ellorah Harpernet and Rufus Ripley going through Five and everyone else going through either Nine or Four. We split from Ellorah and Rufus at the border of Five and Ten and from there, I have no idea what happened to them. All of this happened over a span of weeks. It took us another two weeks to get here.” I grabbed the clipboard at the foot of her bed and unclipped the paper that had her chart on it, flipping it over to the blank side and clipping it back in. “What are you doing?”

“So Aristotle and Clarabella went through District Seven, correct?” She nodded. “Do you remember the other group who went into Seven?”

“Er... hmm... I think... I don’t remember Chase Winters being with us in Ten... or Cytherea Lewes even... I believe they went together into Seven.”

“So Aristotle, Clarabella, Cytherea and Chase went into Seven while the rest of you went into Ten.” She nodded. Halfway through Ten, you split up again, and you, Lenerok, Ellorah and Rufus went north to Five, while everyone else went either west or south. Let’s see, that leaves... Pascasia, Dravius, Odeon and Zosia.”

“Yes, I want to say that Pascasia and Dravius went into Nine while Odeon and Zosia went into Four. But that was weeks ago, I’ve no idea where they even are.”

“We’ll find them,” I told her, glancing up at her with a smile. “We’re intending on going out on a mission to find the remaining Victors. Not only do we want to protect them from the Capitol, but we need all of you to agree to sit on our newly-formed Senate. When you’re better, of course.”

“Senate? You mean... like a sort of representative body?”

“Yes.”

“To lead the rebellion.”

“Yes. We thought it better if all the districts got a say in what direction the rebellion was taken, rather than just one district that sat in the shadows while the rest of us suffered.” Prodigy smiled at me.

“When we saw the screens in whatever abandoned building we were in, we always thought it ridiculous that Thirteen was trying to incite a rebellion. They never had to suffer like we did, so why should they lead the rebellion? This senate sounds like an excellent idea... and I will most certainly agree to sit on it when I’m better.”

Not long after that, I left Prodigy to get some rest, rejoining the members of the Senate that patiently awaited my return. I held up the piece of paper with the rough draft of a map that I drew out. “We’ve got the beginnings of a plan,” I told them.

“Great, now the next part of the plan is to learn more about the rebellious factions in the districts,” said Carolina, glancing at Freya. “What can you tell us about the Warrior Elite?”

“Not much, I’m afraid,” Freya confessed. “I was only a member for a little while, not long before I volunteered for my Games. Lenerok can tell you more, he’s been a member with them for years, ever since he won his own Games, which was thirty years ago.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to wait until he wakes up,” Carolina replied. Lenerok woke up the following day and was weak, but alive. Carolina wanted to speak with him right then and there, but I wouldn’t let her, insisting the man needed rest after weeks of being out in the wilderness. Instead, we waited until later that night, when we could take him to the Command Room to speak to him more in detail.

“Prodigy told us about how you got from the Capitol to here, but the biggest thing we need to know from you, Lenerok, is more about the Warrior Elite,” I said to him. He was seated in a wheelchair looking thin, but not nearly as pale as he had been when he first arrived.

“Where’s Freya?” he asked us.

“In training,” Carolina replied.

“Why am I talking just to you two? Who’s in charge here?” Lenerok asked, clearly suspicious of us both.

“Because we’re the main brains behind the conception of the Senate,” Carolina replied. “You’re not being interrogated and you’re in no danger. We just want to know who we can trust when we go into District Two.”

“Which isn’t happening right now because we don’t believe there are any Victors in Two, besides maybe the ones that were released by the Capitol,” I chimed in, recalling that a few days ago, the Capitol announced that Districts One and Two were safe enough for its Victors to return to.

“I’ll speak to anyone but her,” Lenerok said, referring to Carolina. “Sorry, but I don’t know you.”

“If you’d like, I can ask another member of the Senate to come and speak to you with me,” I said to him. “Your options are Beetee Latier, Finnick Odair, Peeta or Freya. But none of them are available now.” He was silent as he studied me, trying to determine exactly what side I was on. “It was my idea to help you and the other Victors escape. I wanted my husband rescued and I thought the best way to do that was to create a diversion, which would be you and the other Victors escaping. It worked, you’re here, my husband is here... all I’m asking for is information. Please, help us out? We want the rebellion to end. We want to take Snow down and build up a brand new Panem in its place.”

“Very well,” Lenerok replied. “There isn’t much to say. It’s a secure underground resistance group. We’re disguised as exclusive and selective trainers to help make the best fighters, but we don’t train anyone. We find ways to infiltrate the Peacekeeper base and figure out how to take down the Capitol. The Warrior Elite has been around for over sixty years, and yet, we haven’t been able to figure it out yet.”

“Who’s their leader?” Carolina asked him.

“You’re speaking to him,” Lenerok replied. “The other Victors from Two aren’t to be trusted, and with the rebellion, it’s very likely that many members were shipped off to other districts. We were mostly made up of Peacekeepers. But our goal was to tear apart the base from the inside. We just ran out of time.”

“So is it obsolete now?” asked Carolina.

“Not obsolete, just divided,” he told her. “It’ll help to have me on your side.”

“So will you represent District Two on the Senate? The Senate was formed to lead the rebellion against President Snow and the Capitol with representation from each of the thirteen districts,” I explained to him.

“Thirteen? Thirteen should have nothing to do with the rebellion,” Lenerok replied somewhat bitterly, glancing at Carolina.

“Thirteen is a good ally to have,” she told him. “We have nuclear weapons, we have a weapons development program, we have this base here. It isn’t safe in any of the other districts that are under Snow’s control. We have aircraft, technology, and without us, the districts might not win the war.” He stared at her for a moment, then slowly nodded his head.

“Very well,” he replied. “I will agree to sit on your Senate, however, the people in District Two are likely to be resistant. There are many who disagree with the rebellion and the Warrior Elite was a very small number of the population.”

“Even though their children were being reaped, too?” I asked him.

“Afraid so. The Capitol treated them better than most and the people of Two learned to see the best in their situation. Almost no one in Two is starving, and they’ve no idea of what their life will be like after the war. I can imagine One feels similarly. Be careful with your words with those two districts, and who you choose to represent them,” Lenerok replied with a warning tone in his voice.

“I believe we’ve chosen correctly,” I told him confidently.

“Do you?” he asked me. “Well, I certainly hope you’re correct.” I raised an eyebrow at him, and he only smirked right back at me.

“Is that all you’ve got to say about the Warrior Elite? Can we trust them as our allies? We’ll worry about whether or not District Two will comply when we’ve won over the other districts. For now, you’ll be brought back to the hospital to rest and you’ll be sworn into the Senate when you’ve recovered. Freya will sit on the Senate with you,” I told him, and then I stood. “Hope you get well quickly.”

“I do appreciate the hospitality,” the middle-aged man told me with amusement in his voice. When I recounted the story to Peeta later, he was lying in bed while I was pacing back and forth ranting and raving about that man, who made my skin crawl just a bit.

“Freya said he could be trusted, and he orchestrated the escape from the Hotel. I don’t understand why he’s being such a... such a bloody prick,” I was saying to him.

“It sounds to me like he was just trying to make you squirm,” Peeta replied. “Katniss, come to bed. We’ve got training tomorrow and I want to hold you for a bit before we go to sleep.” I let out a huff, then crawled into bed beside him and straight into his arms, curling up and calming instantly at the warmth from his touch. “Just a few more days...”

“Yeah,” I muttered.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll be together, and everything will be okay,” he told me, pressing his lips to my forehead.

“Yeah,” I muttered again. “Together.” He still didn’t know that he wasn’t coming with me on the mission. Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is Peeta gonna feel when he wakes up and Katniss is gone and on the mission without him? Is Lenerok Kifflin to be trusted? Will the Senate even be successful?
> 
> Please review!


	15. Corrosive Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss leaves on the mission without Peeta and he is, unsurprisingly, pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! I got a hand injury and lost access to my left thumb for a little bit - writing with one thumb is a lot harder (and slower) than it sounds! I’m still healing so future chapters may be slower in coming and possibly shorter!

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

The night before we were due to leave, Peeta and I made love all throughout the night because, as he said, we didn’t know when we’d have the chance to do it again. Not if, when, and I did agree. We’d have the chance again when I came back from the mission to him, but who knew how long that would be? We had ideas of where the other victors could be, but we didn’t really know where they were. They could be anywhere. In the last meeting before the meeting, we were discussing the relative size of the districts. District Four was easily thirteen-hundred miles across and at its thickest, two hundred and sixty miles north to south. Odeon Avisdee and Zosia Verity went into District Four from District Ten, which was also a huge district (over seven hundred miles from the farthest north point to the farthest south point and over nine hundred miles across). And who knows if they even stayed in Four? They could have gone back into Ten, ventured into Nine or crossed all of Four to get to Eleven.

Pascasia and Dravius had gone into District Nine, which was easily seven hundred miles from north to south and almost six hundred miles across. For comparison, District Twelve was only about five hundred and fifty miles vertically and three hundred and ninety miles across - very small compared to the rest of the districts. Pascasia and Dravius could have crossed all of District Nine and gone into Districts Eleven or Eight, they could have gone north into either Districts Five or Six, they could have gone south to District Four or could have turned around and gone back into District Ten.

And who’s to say none of the Victors got turned around and maybe ended up in Districts One, Two and Three? District Ten was a lot of flat, empty land and it was  _ extremely _ easy to get disoriented and turned around. District Nine was much the same, and so was District Five. All of those districts were in the Midwestern part of Panem, where land was mostly flat and not very diverse. I brought up that point when we discussed the possibility of the Victors getting turned around and heading into one of the lower numbered districts.

District Seven was our biggest concern, because District Seven was the largest out of all of the districts. At its widest part, District Seven was eight hundred miles north to south, and its longest part was over sixteen hundred miles across. The four Victors in District Seven could be absolutely anywhere in the district, which was mostly made up of woods and mountains. Going through District Seven alone could easily take weeks, if not months. Because of District Seven’s vast size, we decided to split our team into two - Myself, Gale, Cailean, Peeta and a few other soldiers would be heading in the direction of District Twelve to search for Pascasia, Dravius, Odeon and Zosia while Commander Jackson, Calum, Mitchell and a few other soldiers would search in District Seven. Carolina and Finnick would be staying behind to communicate back to us and keep an eye out for other Victors, in case they did manage to find their way to Thirteen without getting lost, but none of the others had the experience or the knowledge that Lenerok Kifflin had.

Communication would be very limited because it could be tracked. Beetee was working on an untraceable system, but with limited technology thanks to the bombing and District Three not being on the rebellion’s side, there was only so much he could do. We were to communicate with Thirteen only if we had found a Victor or if it were absolutely necessary, and they would do the same for us. Each victor that we were searching for was given a code and that was unrelated to them or their district - bird types. Pascasia Mazarinne was Warbler, Odeon Avisdee was Finch, Zosia Verity was Bluebird, Chase Winters was Jackdaw, Dravius Pillock was Robin, Ellorah Harpernet was Nuthatch, Aristotle Archer was Owl, Clarabella Dustin was Sparrow, Rufus Ripley was Woodpecker and Cytherea Lewes was Swallow.

We were set to leave at six in the morning, but Peeta thought we were leaving at eleven. This gave me plenty of time to sneak away and fool him into believing that I was going off to the toilet in the middle of the night if he awoke, or tending to one of the girls. He would likely fall right back to sleep and wouldn’t have any idea that I was actually leaving on the mission. So I let him make love to me until he passed out, and an hour before we were due to leave, I kissed him goodbye and told him I just had to use the toilet and then wanted to check on the girls. He mumbled with contentment, then rolled back over and went back to sleep, just as I had predicted. Into his ear, I whispered, “I love you, Peeta,” and left him to sleep, fighting the smile on my face at my joy in knowing that he was safe and out of harm’s way.

About a half hour before departure, I met up with Cailean, who was going over last minute details about instructions for the hijacking victims with another scientist. “You have to check their urine every day and compare it with their blood toxicity and you must keep a very close eye on it. The numbers shouldn’t be zero, but they should be very low. If the blood toxicity numbers rise above ten percent, give them another dose of the vaccine. There are plenty. I managed to finish creating a pill form of the antiretrovirals just in time, and they  _ have _ to take it daily. They’re relatively good about it, so they shouldn’t be too thrown off by the change in medication. If you see numbers starting to change from what has been normal for these last few weeks, switch them back to the injections and when I return, I’ll do what I have to to modify it,” he was saying.

“Yes, of course,” agreed the man who would be taking over for Cailean while he was away. Cailean was being drawn away because he was an excellent pilot, so he would be piloting our hovercraft. I expressed interest in learning, so I would be his copilot, and in addition to that, I was dubbed our team’s medic given my history as a District Twelve midwife. It helped because we only had one medic trained for combat, and he was going with Commander Jackson into Seven.

“Everything settled and done?” I asked my brother in Gàidhlig.

“Should be,” he replied. “I don’t think I could have left clearer instructions. They should be okay. Now for you, I’ve got something for you, but we need to get on the trucks that’ll take us to the mountain hangar because your surprise is there.” I raised an eyebrow in suspicion, not having expected a gift, but when we arrived at the mountain hangar, I was pleasantly surprised when the surprise he had gifted me was a custom-made portable bow that extended from a cylindrical device that I could store in my pocket. It was connected to a small pouch that I attached to my back that would open up and form into a quiver full of arrows. The arrow choices were regular, fire arrows and bomb arrows, all of which would likely be useful to us on the mission. “I’ve got more in storage already on the hovercraft. Should be enough to last for a while.”

“This is incredible!” I exclaimed, examining the beautiful bow in my hands.

“In Thirteen, we fight with guns and bombs, but your signature weapon is a bow, so of course you have to have one,” my brother replied.

Our team regrouped about ten minutes before departure in front of the hovercraft. Commander Jackson dubbed me first in command for the mission, and Gale second in command, which he wasn’t too thrilled about. Originally, he was supposed to be first in command since his soldier ranking was higher than mine, but Commander Jackson seemed to change her mind last minute. I was certain that I’d hear about it later, but for now, he was silent. We met the rest of our team - Astrid Wexley, Benedick Tremor, Hadley Walker and Dennis Walters, all of whom were adept at sharpshooting and general combat.

At five minutes before, as we were buckling ourselves into our seats in the cockpit, Cailean, resting his headset on his shoulders, glanced at me. “Last chance to change your mind about Peeta coming. You know he’s going to be very angry with you for deciding this for him,” he told me.

“This is better for him. What if we’re out there for longer than we think and he runs out of his medication? He could become a danger to us as well as himself and he could die. I can’t have that. He needs to stay here where he’s safe, until we know how well the medications are working,” I replied.

“This may affect your relationship, you know. He probably won’t like that you kept this from him and took away his chance to protect you. Especially if you get hurt, or worse.”

“He’s kept things from me as well, things that he decided were so awful that he had to protect me from them,” I spat back, somewhat bitterly, and Cailean appeared a bit taken aback. “No, I’ve made up my mind. He’s staying. He’ll be mad at me, but he’ll get over it.”  _ Same as I had to do for the secrets he kept from me, _ I thought to myself.

“Very well. If you believe you know him best, then I’ll support you and your decisions,” my brother told me. At six o’clock on the dot, he started up the hovercraft, and we took off from the runway into the dead of night, the sun only beginning to rise off in the distance.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

I awoke on the morning of the departure of the mission and stretched out my arm, wanting more than anything to sneak one more round of lovemaking in with my wife before we had to leave, but when my hand fell to her side of the bed, I found it to be cold and empty, as if it had been empty for hours. “Katniss?” I murmured, opening my eyes and lifting my head. Sure enough, I was quite alone.  _ Maybe she’s with the girls, _ I thought to myself, and then I crawled out of bed and pulled on my pyjama pants and a t-shirt on over my head. I left my bedroom and found my mother sitting in the living area watching my two daughters play and when she heard the door, she looked up at me and smiled.

“Good morning, Peeta,” she told me as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

“Morning... Where’s Katniss?” I asked her.

“Oh, I’m not sure... She left very early this morning to go somewhere. Maybe the lab doing some last minute work before the mission begins?” she asked me.

“Maybe,” I replied. After saying good morning to my two beautiful little girls, I got dressed and headed for the lab, hoping to find my wife there, but instead, I found someone completely unfamiliar to me.

“Ah, Mr. Mellark! Here for your urinalysis and your blood test?” this strange man I’d never seen before asked me.

“I’m here for my wife, actually. She wasn’t in bed this morning and my mother doesn’t know where she went. Do you happen to know?” I asked, trying my hardest to remain calm and polite, but I was getting frustrated.

“Well, of course. She’s on the mission. You knew that, didn’t you?” the man asked me, and my eyes widened.

“The mission? The hell do you mean she’s ‘on the mission’? The mission doesn’t leave until later,” I spat back, shock and surprise taking over my emotions.

“No, they left at six this morning. I was given special instructions by Dr. Fòlais himself on how to continue the urine analyses on you, Miss Mason and Miss Cresta and to try and switch you all over onto a pill form of antiretro-”

“I’m supposed to be on that mission, what the hell do you  _ mean _ they left at six this morning?” I exclaimed in frustration.

“I don’t know what else you want me to say, Mr. Mellark. They’ve gone. Take it up with Miss Abernathy if you’re upset.”

“I will. I very much will.” With that said, I stormed out of the lab, ignoring the man’s protests as he tried to call after me. I went to the Command Room and stormed in, surprising Carolina and Finnick, who were sitting at the table in deep discussion. “Did you know?” I demanded from both of them, and they were silent. “Did you know that mission was leaving at six in the morning? Because I didn’t! Why didn’t I know?”

“Because you’re in no condition to go out on the mission, Peeta,” Carolina replied calmly.

“And who decided that, huh? Who decided that I am  _ clearly _ in no shape to go out there to protect my wife, huh?” I demanded again.

“Who do you think?” Finnick asked me, and I met his eyes.

“She... she wouldn’t... She wouldn’t betray me like that,” I said, stunned. Katniss wouldn’t have been the one who decided this, she wanted me there so I could protect her and keep her safe. Why wouldn’t she? This must have been someone else’s doing. Gale maybe? He seemed to always be looking for an opportunity to corner Katniss, and as I recalled, he was the commander of our team, too.

“I’d do it for Annie,” Finnick told me.

“I’m not Annie!” I spat back. “I could have kept her safe! What if I lose her?”

“What if she lost you?”

“If that’s what it takes to protect her, then so be it! How could she do this to me?”

“Because she loves you, Peeta,” Carolina told me, but I was too delusional from anger to understand her.

“And I love her, but that doesn’t matter, does it? Carolina, I’m sorry to be a total ass right now, but what she did was selfish and out of line and I’m angry!”

“As you reserve every right to be, but Peeta-”

“Would you do that for Cailean?” Her facial expression changed to one of surprise while Finnick glanced between us, his eyes narrowing as he realised what I had said, but I was so angry that I didn’t care. “That’s right, not everyone is as blind as you think they are, but I’d say I’m pretty damn observant! I know you’re interested in him!”

“Peeta, that’s  _ enough _ . You are out of line and you need to calm down,” said Finnick, now standing.

“I know she’d never even be on the front lines but if Annie did this to you, wouldn’t you be angry?” I demanded from him.

“Peeta! You have every right to be angry, but now you’re crossing lines that I would have  _ never _ expected you to cross! You need to go off and be by yourself somewhere because you are out of control!” I stared at him now, seemingly stunned into silence, but still more than furious. “Maybe what Katniss did and how she went about it was wrong, but you’re not exactly in tip top shape. You’re still being monitored for the vaccine, same as Annie and Johanna. We need to know that you’ll be okay first before sending you out on missions.”

“Then the mission shouldn’t have gone,” I heard myself say.

“And drag the Hunger Games on even longer? Peeta, you mentored for three years. We can’t allow them to continue, not now. It’s too late to sit back and do nothing just because you’re angry you couldn’t go on the mission with Katniss.” For a moment, I stood there just staring at him, his sea green eyes framed by his bronzed skin boring into my sky blue eyes, and then I left. Turned on my heel and left without apologising. That wasn’t like me, but then again, I was so hurt and so mad at Katniss for not even thinking of including me in her plan to leave me behind.

I did exactly what Katniss had done dozens of times. I found a supply closet and hid myself in there, bursting into tears the second my back touched the wall. I longed to be with Katniss, to hold her and be in her arms, to smell the scent of evergreen and lavender in her hair, to hear her soothing voice promise me that everything was going to be okay, but it felt like the Centennial Games all over again - like she had been ripped from my arms and I had no idea of whether she was alive or dead. Except for the fact that this time, it was she who was at risk of being in Snow’s hands, while I was helpless in the underground waiting for any piece of news. And it was she who ripped herself from my arms.

I don’t know how long I was in that supply closet, but I cried my eyes dry and sobbed until I had no more energy left to expend. I simply sat there with my back against the wall and my face in my knees probably for hours. At some point, I heard the sound of the door opening, and then the sound of someone sliding down the wall and grunting as they sat down on the floor beside me. I didn’t care to find out who, but I felt a hand on my upper back pat me roughly.

“Boy, you need to pull yourself together,” I heard a gruff voice say to me - Haymitch. Of course it was Haymitch. “I know you’re mad about sweetheart runnin’ off like that without tellin’ ya, but you’re a grown man, a victor, a Senator and above all that, you’re a father. You ain’t a kid no more. You can’t run off to supply closets and cry ‘til ya got no more liquid left in ya.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?” I asked him quietly, not removing my face from my knees. “We’re not supposed to have secrets from each other!”

“Why didn’t you tell her about what happened to you in the Capitol, then, if y’all ain’t supposed to have secrets from each other?” At that question, I did lift my head from my knees and I looked at him rather incredulously.

“But you agreed with that decision.”

“I didn’t agree with it, but it also weren’t my news to tell. I agreed to keep your secret under the assumption that you’d tell her eventually, or she’d find out in some way that would disrupt everythin’. Granted, I didn’t expect both of ‘em to happen at the same time.” I turned away from him, ignoring his statement. I had my reasons for not telling Katniss that I got raped in the damn Capitol and he didn’t need to know what those reasons were. “But my point still stands, boy. Pull yourself together. You’re a big boy now, there ain’t no more time for kid stuff no more. And you better damn well apologise to my girl for that shit you said to her. If I didn’t know you was angry at sweetheart, I’da hit ya for that.”

“I know... I didn’t mean to say any of that...”

“She knows it, too, but you’re still gonna apologise to her, otherwise I will kick your ass. And Finnick, too.”

“I will...” Haymitch grunted as he stood and made his way for the door, then stopped and turned back to face me.

“Ya know, instead of sittin’ back waitin’ for sweetheart to return, why don’t ya take initiative? There’s a team bein’ trained now as backup in case the two mission teams need it. You survived two Hunger Games - go show ‘em what you got.” With that said, he left, leaving me sitting there on the floor contemplating his final words.

He was telling me to get myself on the backup team that would get called in if there was danger. The backup team was made up of a mix of low level one rank soldiers, high level nine rank soldiers and everything in between - level ten was a commander. I, primarily a patient, was simply a level one soldier, same as just about everyone else who has a job that isn’t in the military. Katniss, before training, was a level three, and quickly worked her way all the way up to level eight. Gale was a level nine and was a commander-in-training, meaning he was the commander on Katniss’s team, and I’m sure she loved that. There was certainly one thing that Katniss was right about - I was a natural-born leader with a golden tongue, one that could use words to get just about anything I wanted. If I could get Katniss Everdeen Fòlais to fall in love with me, then I could convince the commander of the team, Commander Gillies, to let me train with and eventually be on the backup team.

I walked my way down to the training center, and Commander Gilles eyed me suspiciously as I entered the room with my chin high and my golden tongue more glittery and shiny than it ever had been before. “Soldier Mellark, what brings you down to Training?” he asked me.

“Funny you should ask,” I said in my best charming but schmoozing tone. “You see, everyone seems to think that because I was hijacked, I’m some special sort of crazy that can’t be contained, but I can assure you that I am far from that. I’m strong - I was the best wrestler in all of District Twelve with the exception of being beat by my older brother once - and I’m a Hunger Games victor. Twice. I learn quickly and while in training before, I was excellent at wielding a gun. Commander Gillies, I would like to train and be considered for a position on the backup team.”

I was allowed to train, and I knew that when we were inevitably needed - and we would be because Snow and the Capitol were fighting back hard against rebellious districts - then I would be there to get called in, and I’d still get my way anyway. Katniss thought she could slip away from my protective grip? Well, she was quite wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will the backup team ever get to see combat? What will Katniss do when she finds out that Peeta joined the backup team?
> 
> Please review!


	16. Commanding the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta works his way up the ranks to command the rescue team. Three figures initially believed dead return from the past and Peeta and Katniss are reunited.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

On my first day of training, I was surprised to see Freya training on the rescue team. “Espionage says Snow’s pissed I survived the train derailment,” she explained. “They don’t want me in the districts unless I have to be.”

“You think Snow would have plans for you?” I asked her, knowing the horrors of my own torture.

“I’m afraid to think about it, honestly. I lived when Snow wanted me dead and I’m actively participating in the rebellion. On top of that, I’m from Two. A District Two deviant doesn't look good for one of the Capitol’s most loyal districts. I’m sure you can have an idea of what Snow would do to me,” she replied, and I really did. The things that Snow did to me only scratched the surface of what he’d do to Freya. I was kept alive because someone who Snow wanted weak loved me, but Freya had no one. No one to love, no one to hurt to weaken her.

Two weeks after I started training, we received a message from the rescue team in the eastern districts - Katniss’s team. It was about sixteen hours late - therefore sent as a ‘non-urgent message’, and said that a retrieval was needed in District Twelve, but it didn’t specify who. I wondered what Victors had made their way all the way to District Twelve - and then I froze. This would be the first time I would be seeing Twelve since it was firebombed. Since my brothers and father were killed. It had been nearly four months now - it was late October, and the firebombing happened hardly an hour after Katniss and I were reaped for the Centennial Games. I wasn’t ready to see my home destroyed, but I had no choice. I signed up to be on the backup/retrieval team, so I had to do what I was asked.

On the retrieval team was a former miner from District Twelve, Thom Derry, who had helped orchestrate the escape from Twelve during the firebombing. He was dubbed second in command behind Commander Gillies. We sat beside each other on the hovercraft, and Thom seemed to sense my apprehension. “It’s a little bruised and battered, but it’s home,” he told me.

“And the graves of most of my family,” I replied.

“Mine, too,” Thom replied. There really wasn’t anyone from Twelve who didn’t lose someone in the bombing. Even Katniss lost Agnessa, and even though they were never really close, she was still upset. Gale seemed to be the only one who didn’t seem to lose anyone, even though he lost his wife and son - I truly didn’t think that he considered them a loss. He’d married Leevy because he got her pregnant, but he still had a child. I couldn’t imagine not loving my girls enough to not care whether they’d lived or died.

We landed in Victors’ Village, which had, surprisingly, been spared. The bombing happened where the people were, and they had all been gathered in the square. That was why only a little over eight hundred out of over eight thousand people survived. I could see a hint of the destruction in the distance, and I wasn’t looking forward to walking into town, seeing my parents’ bakery gone and possibly running into the decaying corpses of my father and brothers.

I would never hear my dad’s deep chuckle or feel his firm arms around me again. I would never have my hair ruffled and my head pulled into a headlock by Rye, and I would never hear another boring government fact out of Christos again. I would never hear Aaricia’s sweet melodic voice again, nor would I hear the sweet childish giggle of my nephew, Barley, again. They were all gone, and only my mother and I were left. What a sorry pair were we?

But it turns out, we never had to go into the square, because the Victors that we were rescuing were hiding out in the unscathed houses of Victors’ Village. Mine and Katniss’s, actually, and it wasn’t a Victor that we were rescuing. Three figures came out of the house and stood on the front porch - two women from the Seam, one with olive skin and rich dark hair and the other with pale skin and auburn Hebridean hair, and a blonde man from the merchant class. When I glanced over at them, I couldn’t believe my eyes. No, this was a bad dream... But it wasn’t. That blonde man was none other than my older brother, Rye, looking battered and beaten and worse for wear, walking with a limp and a lame arm resting in a sling. He hadn’t seen me yet, not until I moved into his view, and when he did, he smiled at me as the two women spoke to Commander Gillies and Thom.

“Hey, little bro,” Rye said to me as I cautiously approached him.

“Are you... Are you real?” I asked him. With a lame arm and leg, he was nothing like he used to be. Rye was a wrestler with class, always had strong, firm arms and a stocky frame, but now, he was a shell of the man he once was. He was pale, thin, and walked with a stick as a cane. He chuckled when I asked him if he was real.

“As real as I’m gonna get,” he replied, carefully climbing down the stairs. “C’mere.” He pulled me into a rather weak one-armed hug, so unlike any hug he’d ever given me, and I compensated by wrapping my arms arms tightly around him.

“What happened to you?” I whispered to him.

“Miraculously survived a bombing. It was like District Twelve had turned into an arena... So many people were dead... I found Dad and Chris... Aaricia and Barley, too. We buried them out in the meadow, along with everyone else that didn’t get blown to bits. I didn’t find Mom, though,” Rye replied as he continued embracing me.

“She’s safe, in District Thirteen,” I replied. I didn’t want to let go of him - this was the closest I’d get to ever hugging my father again, considering Rye and I never hugged much.

“I know, Katniss told me,” he replied.

“Katniss?” I’d almost forgotten that it was her team that had found my brother.

“Yeah,” said Rye, pulling back from our embrace to look at me. “I was surprised you weren’t with her. What happened, little bro?”

“A lot of shit,” I said, a tone of bitterness in my voice. “I was captured by the Capitol after the Games... but I’ll tell you more about that later. We need to get you and these two women back to Thirteen.”

“But there’s more than just us,” said one of the women, the one with the auburn hair. “There’s seven children inside, and two more adults in the woods.”

“We’ll need to get a list of names so we can get everyone registered in our system,” said Commander Gillies as Thom took out a digital notepad.

“Of course. I’m Laurel McDermott,” said the auburn-haired woman.

“Winifred Lewis,” said the darker-haired Seam woman who was much older than the younger Laurel. “In the woods are Rebecca Simmons and Dirk Douglas.” Douglas? Wasn’t that the name of Mom’s friend from the Seam?

“And I’m Donnel Mellark,” said Rye.

“Didn’t Soldier Mellark call you ‘Rye’?” asked Commander Gillies, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but that’s a nickname. Why would my parents name me after bread?” Rye asked, deliberately poking a joke at me for my bread-themed name.

“I don’t know, why would any of their three sons - Christos, Donnel and Peeta - be named after bread?” I asked him, and the two women and a couple members of our team chuckled as they made the connection.

“The seven children inside are Breagha Derby, Alice Turner, Timothy Greene, Miner Barkley, Lenn Hooper, Leafa Browne and Eddie Hawthorne,” said Laurel. Another shock delivered to my heart. Eddie Hawthorne? As in, Gale Hawthorne’s young son? He had to have been almost a year and a half now... Why wasn’t Gale with him? If I had discovered that one of my children was alive after four months of thinking they were dead, I would have had to be locked up to prevent me from wanting to stay with my child. I can’t imagine how afraid they would have been if, god forbid, Katniss and I had traded places with Gale and Leevy.

“He never saw his kid, Hawthorne. Not when he was here,” I heard Rye say to me. He must have noticed the change in my expression.

“But why? That’s his son,” I asked him, and he shrugged.

“We were Mom’s sons. She wasn’t very kind to us for twenty years,” he told me. We waited until Rebecca Simmons and Dirk Douglas came back from the woods before we loaded up all of the survivors onto the hovercraft and headed back to Thirteen.

“So what happened to you all? How’d you survive the bombing?” Thom asked the new group of refugees.

“We were all buried under debris to some degree, really,” Laurel replied. “There were more of us who survived the initial bombing, but they either didn’t survive their injuries or got sick and died. It’s just us now, and we’ve been pretty self-sufficient.”

“We wouldn’t have survived the winter, though. Thank God you all came when you did,” Rye chimed in.

“You’ll like where we’re going then,” Thom told them. “Thirteen was firebombed, too, but we came back. We’re a tough lot, aren’t we? Us District Twelves.”

“We’re like cockroaches. Snow can cut off our heads but we’ll still be scattering about your floors for three weeks!” Rye was saying, and he tickled the stomach of a giggling child next to him. It was a couple of hours before we arrived and the new arrivals were sent to the hospital. Meanwhile, I went straight to the kitchens, where my mother was working, to tell her the news. Upon learning that another one of her sons had survived, she burst into tears and hugged me tightly, then begged me to take her to him. We had to wait a bit, as the doctors were surgically correcting his leg. His arm they couldn’t do much for, unfortunately, as the way it healed would never be able to be restored to normal function, so the options were to leave his arm as it was or amputate it. Mom and I decided to leave it up to him.

When he finally woke up, he was surprised by the affection that Mom was giving him, but he gave in. Mom and Rye’s relationship wasn’t improved along with mine with Mom since he was unwilling to forgive her, but losing Dad and Chris reminded him that we were really all we had left. We’d all changed so much, thanks to the Hunger Games. Had I never been reaped, maybe Mom would still be harsh and cruel... Dad and Chris and Aaricia and Barley might all still be alive, and Katniss... Katniss and I probably wouldn’t have even been together. Our two beautiful girls would never have been born and Katniss probably would have married Gale, while I probably would have either married into another merchant family or been forced to get a job in the mines (which wasn’t unheard of for the third son of a merchant). My, how things had changed. There were good things I missed, and bad things that would have happened had things never changed.

Change can be a good thing, but it often never comes in the way that one expects it to. But perhaps the biggest change was I added another member to my family - I agreed to take on the care of Eddie Hawthorne, along with my own two daughters.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

It’s been three months now since we left for the mission, and we haven’t found a single victor. We’d been through Twelve, Eleven, so much of Four and parts of Nine, but there’d been no sign. We returned to District Four to regroup, finding the more populated areas of the district to be absolutely destroyed. Four was a fairly large district, which meant that people living on the far ends had to travel quite a bit for the reaping every year, so unlike Twelve, where only one area was really populated; the majority of it was wooded or mines. There were many fishing villages that made up Four and they were given ancient Greek names by the first president of Panem. Aisopos, Charis and Erastos were some of the names of the villages, and there were twenty in total. Finnick was from a barrier island called Nereus and we stopped there to rest - the poor island had been torn to shreds. Unlike District Twelve, many of the people of Four had perished, or, if they were lucky, escaped out to sea, never to return. We came across some people in Four - survivors of the bombing - and invited them to join us in Thirteen, but many declined.

On Nereus, we set up our camp and tried to make plans of where to go next, but honestly, we had no idea where to even start. We’d expected to do much better than we had, but three months in and we’d had no luck. It was now December, sometime around Yule, and thankfully, it was rather warm and tepid in Four as opposed to the freezing cold of Twelve. It made me fear for the fate of the other Victors - they may not be able to survive the winter. Yes, they all survived the Hunger Games, but most of them were ten years or more out of the arena and likely forgot how to survive cold temperatures. I hoped that we would find them soon... any of them.

Most of my lamenting went to missing Peeta, but I was still adamant that I had made the right decision in keeping him in Thirteen. I’d heard no word about him, nor did I expect to, but I could sense that he was angry with me. I couldn’t blame him. Had he done to me what I did to him, I’d be furious with him, but wasn’t I already? He’d already kept a secret from me, so it was only fair for me to keep my own secret. I missed my daughters, too. I’d never wanted children before, but I loved my daughters so much and I missed them, but I was here on this mission for them. Without this mission to find and rescue the other Victors, we may not have a chance at creating a better, safer future for them.

We’d been at our camp for three days before we finally heard something, and that ‘something’ came in the form of an elderly woman with a small toddler trailing behind her. She had sunkissed hair with hints of grey, seafoam green eyes, bronzed, wrinkly skin from years of exposure to the sea and the sun, and she looked strong. Clearly, this woman had no trouble surviving on her own - could she be trusted?

It was Gale who addressed her first, and he wasn’t exactly peaceable about it. But was he ever? He was distrustful even of the refugees we found in Twelve, especially to my brother-in-law, and when I learned that his son had survived but he didn’t even care, I wanted to take him into the woods and ‘accidentally’ send an arrow into his chest, I was so angry. How could someone just abandon their child like that? The thoughts had to stop because I had to stop Gale from threatening to shoot this woman. “Who are you? Do you work for the Capitol?” he demanded, holding his gun firmly to show that he was not afraid to use it.

“No! No, I’m not! Please!” the woman begged, and I came up and stood between the two of them, facing Gale.

“Gale, that’s enough!” I hissed, stopping him.

“She’s clearly well fed and doesn’t look anything like a victim of a bombing!” he spat back.

“In her defence, she has better resources for survival here. She has a whole ocean filled with food! Now, that’s enough!” I spat back. “Stand down, Gale. Need I remind you who’s in charge here?” That got him. He scowled at me, then stomped away to go off into a wooded area by himself. Letting out a sigh, I turned back to the woman and her frightened toddler. “I’m so sorry about him.”

“You’re Katniss Everdeen,” said the woman. “Well, Mellark. My son told me so much about you.” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Your son?” I asked, and she nodded.

“Yes, you likely met him at the Games,” she replied. “He spoke very highly of you and your husband. Oh, forgive me! My name is Helena Odair. Finnick is my son.” I felt my jaw go just a little slack as the realisation dawned on me.

“You... You survived?” The woman nodded. “And that.... Killick? Finnick’s son?”

“Yes,” Helena replied. “I took care of him when Annie and Finnick went to the Capitol for the last Games. I thought I’d see them again, but... Well, look around you. After you blew up the arena, I didn’t know if Finnick had survived, and I didn’t know if Annie was still being kept in the Capitol or not. Is she well? Have you seen her? She is such a sweet girl.”

“Yes, she’s doing all right. She was kept in the Capitol as a prisoner, but she’s safe now in District Thirteen. Forgive me but did you know about the rebel plan?”

“I did, and I was worried for both Finnick and Annie, but Finnick assured me that Killick and I would be safe hidden away. We escaped briefly on a rowboat. I’d brought along some food and water and Killick and I were out there for three days before we ran out of food and had to return to land. By then, I realised that what was left of Four would be left alone, and it was safe - well, as safe as it could be.”

“Thank God you’re both safe, Annie and Finnick will be so happy. Annie’s still being treated for the trauma she experienced in the Capitol and I think seeing her son will help her. My husband, who was also captured by the Capitol, got better so much quicker after seeing his daughters,” I told the older woman. Once I, being the medic on our team, checked out both Helena and Killick, we got them situated in a tent. There was a small uprising in District Nine that was being ‘tended to’ by the Capitol, so we couldn’t call in the backup team to get them out of here, so we were left to keep them with us for a while.

“Do you know anything about the Capitol’s plans?” Gale had asked her that evening as we sat around a fire. “Four was a Career district, after all.”

“Judging by the fact that they got firebombed not long after Twelve did, I don’t think they were as close to the Capitol as you’re thinking,” I said to Gale somewhat bitterly.

“Or they were, but the Capitol is just that heartless,” said Cailean, trying to mediate between the two of us.

“I wouldn’t know anything, I’m afraid. I only heard a few things about the rebellion from my son,” Helena replied. “There’s a few other survivors around these parts, some of them form Four, some of them from other districts trying to escape and thinking they’re safest in Four... There’s been whispers of a major uprising in Eight, and possibly a sighting of a handful of other Victors. The ones who went missing a few months ago.”

“In Eight?” asked Gale, and Helena nodded. Gale then looked at me. “We need to get a message out to Thirteen and get the backup team sent to Eight straight away.”

“We don’t send messages out until the middle of the night. Less of a chance of it getting intercepted, especially with Capitol forces being so close by in Nine,” said Cailean, interrupting him.

“Then I’ll at least prepare it to be sent,” said Gale sternly, standing up and stalking off to one of the tents.

“That man seriously has a problem with you being First in Command, Kat,” my brother told me, and I let out a sigh.

“I know. I’ll have a talk with him,” I said, and then I turned to Helena. “Thank you for the tip. We’ll likely head out towards Eight sometime late in the evening. The lot of you get some rest, it’s not a long flight to Eight and we’ll likely be flying into a battlefield.” With that said, I followed Gale into the tent, finding him scribbling a message down onto paper and figuring out how to shorten it and translate it into morse code. “You need to stop undermining me, Gale. You’re not First in Command, so stop acting like it.

“You’re a Level 7 soldier, you shouldn’t even  _ be _ First in Command.  _ I _ was supposed to First in Command. Why would Jackson give that to  _ you _ ?” Gale spat back at me.

“Because I’m not a bitter angry person who’s mentality is ‘kill or be killed’,” I replied.

“It used to be, back when you were in your first Games,” Gale reminded me, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“I told myself it was... but it wasn’t. I didn’t drop that nest of tracker jackers on the Careers with the intent to kill them, I intended to startle them away or harm them, but not kill them, and I killed two of them. Killing the boy from One - Marvel, his name was - was a kneejerk reaction, after he’d killed... Rue... and Cato was a mercy killing.”

“What about in your second Games, huh?”

“I killed Gloss, and that was only one person. He’d just killed one of my allies.”

“Five people on your kill list.”

“It was the Games. What choice did we have?”

“Kill or be killed,” he parroted, and I let out a huff.

“Fine, in an arena, my mentality may have been ‘kill or be killed’, but in the real world, where I have control over my fate, my mentality is ‘don’t kill unless you have to’.”

“I think that’s just a rewording of ‘kill or be killed’.”

“That’s it, then, isn’t it? The wording changes the meaning. ‘Kill or be killed’ suggests there’s no chance for negotiation. It’s cold and quick, and there’s no decision to it. You have to kill. But ‘don’t kill unless you have to’ suggests that there is room for negotiation, and there is a chance to spare a life. If I can spare a life - any life - then I will.”

“Even Snow’s?” I paused as he spoke. “Snow caused the death of so many innocent people, even the people of your own district. He wants your children to die, don’t you care about that?”

“Funny you mention ‘children’, isn’t it?” I said, jumping on that chance immediately. “Speaking of ‘Snow killing children’, Snow almost successfully killed yours, but he didn’t. Thank God he didn’t, and you didn’t even bat an eye. Didn’t even look at him or acknowledge his existence. Why’s that? It’s not his fault for being born. Are you just going to abandon him then?”

“I am not talking about this,” Gale told me in a stern tone, his teeth gritted.

“Maybe you need to,” I replied. “He’s your  _ son _ , Gale, and he needs you. You can’t just walk away from him.”

“Let me rephrase that: I am not talking about this with the person who told me she never even wanted children, but as soon as that blonde townie comes along, suddenly, she changes her mind.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I was pregnant and I couldn’t allow myself to kill another child.”

“That’s it, then, isn’t it? You got pregnant. You know, the action to become pregnant is something I’d wanted to do with you for years, but you did it with  _ him _ in a few days.”

“I was never yours, Gale. I don’t know what it’ll take to get you to understand that.” I let out a sigh. “I’m tired of having this conversation with you again and again, and you’re clever and you know that, so of course you’re going to turn the topic back to that. You’ve got your wish, then. I’ll leave you alone. We send that message out at half past two and we leave at three. Make sure it’s perfect.” With that said, I left him alone and I made my way out of that tent.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

At about eight in the morning, we received an urgent message from Katniss’s team. It was about the uprising in Eight, the one that the four Victors that were rescued from Seven - Clarabella Dustin, Aristotle Archer, Chase Winters and Cytherea Lewes - had told us they’d heard rumours about. It was a heavy uprising, one that was causing serious damage and one that was calling for rebel forces from all parts of the districts, but of course, it was difficult for them to get a message to the rest of Panem. The message from Katniss’s team confirmed these rumours, so we knew we had to get out there as quickly as we could. The rescue team would be going out, along with Calum’s team that went into District Seven. Commander Jackson had led a smaller team into District Three, as they were planning on trying to sway the district, so we were left on our own. Commander Gillies was to stay behind, so as not to leave Thirteen without a commanding officer.

“So we’ve got myself, Freya, you, Thom, Mitchell, Zeodary Sage, Griffin McClure, Annabeth McKesson, Lou Gardner and Galley Gordon. I’d say that’s a pretty good team,” Calum was saying as he, myself and Carolina made our way to the hangar to depart for the mission to Eight.

“I can go, too. I’m skilled in combat,” Carolina said, but Calum turned to face her.

“Carolina, I know you’re brilliant in combat, but you’re the closest thing that Thirteen has to a political leader right now. It’s better if you stay back in case something happens,” he told her.

“Need I remind you that  _ you _ are on the Senate representing Thirteen, too?” Carolina asked him firmly.

“I know I am. You’re better at politics than I am and I’m better with combat. We need someone with a level head on their shoulders so we don’t get another Coin situation,” Calum replied. “That, and I’m pretty sure your father would castrate me if I let you go.”

“Are you saying this because you think I’m weaker than you?” Carolina asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Not at all, I know you can kick my ass in hand-to-hand, but Thirteen needs you, Lina. You’re the best we’ve got,” Calum told her calmly.

“Well, it’s not up to you anyway, it’s up to Peeta.  _ He’s _ First in Command, after all,” Carolina said, looking to me. It was true, I was going to be First in Command on this mission, and Calum and Freya were Second and Third in Command, respectively. I’d worked hard to work my way up and I was now a Level 9 soldier. I’d studied for countless hours to learn the ways of Thirteen’s military and took all the exams to become a commanding officer.

“I agree with Calum,” I told her. “I know you wanna be out there, but you’re the best choice as a leader for Thirteen. If something happens to me or Katniss or anyone else who’s been leading the rebellion so far, you’re the one I’d want to lead against Snow.” With a sigh, Carolina nodded.

“Fair point. See, Calum, he says it nicer than you,” she teased my brother-in-law, who chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re still the best ass kicker I know,” he told her. The sound of a throat clearing surprised us all, and when we turned our attention to the source, we were surprised to see Aristotle Archer standing there beside Finnick.

“We want to go with you,” Finnick said.

“Both of you?” I asked them, and he nodded.

“I’m very skilled in combat. I don’t have the training that Two does, but before I went into my Games, I wanted to be a Peacekeeper, so I have some experience training for that,” Aristotle told me.

“That was years ago,” I replied.

“I still know how to hold a gun,” he said. “You’re gonna need all the help you can get. Take it from someone who knows the Peacekeepers and their strengths and weaknesses.”

“Very well, get in uniform, then. You too, Finnick. Are you sure? What about Annie?” I asked him.

“She... She still doesn’t fully trust me yet, but we’re working on it. I think a little time apart will do her some good, and I can’t just sit around here doing nothing. I’ll go mad,” Finnick replied.

“All right, then. Come along,” I told the two men, who were both in their late twenties. Aristotle had won the Games the year before Finnick, and Aristotle had been fifteen when he won his Games while Finnick had been fourteen, putting them at two years apart. It was quite a contrast between the two of them - Finnick was bronzed with sunkissed golden hair and seafoam green eyes, while Aristotle was a bit paler, with softer blonde hair and amber eyes.

When it was time to finally board the hovercraft, Calum sat down beside me on the hovercraft as we buckled in. “Got your medicine?” he asked me quietly, and I pulled out a small bottle of pills.

“Got a thirty day supply, but hopefully we won’t be out for thirty days,” I replied.

“What about that vaccine?” I replaced the bottle and pulled out two doses of the venom vaccine.

“Got that, too. If I need it, but it’s not like I can check my blood and piss every day,” I told him, putting the vials away. We sat and chatted for the couple of hours it took to get to Eight, and when we were about twenty minutes away, I stood up and faced the team in front of me. “Right, we’re about to go into a war zone and it won’t be pretty. Kind of like an arena. Some of you here will know what that’s like.” I met the eyes of Finnick, Freya and Aristotle, who, like me, were all Victors - conveniently, all Careers. “Prepare yourself because we’re going to hit the ground running here. There won’t be a chance to process what’s happening, that is, if we’re not shot out of the sky. That’s what we’re walking into. Good luck, and I hope to see you when it’s all said and done.”

I hadn’t seen Katniss in now three months, and I was a bit nervous to see her, but also still furious that she’d left without me. I had to put my feelings aside, for now, because I was about to enter an arena, and there was no room for emotions in the arena.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

It was worse than the arena. Not only were there hundreds of tributes - soldiers from both sides, Capitol and District - but the weapons were far more deadly and destructive. We’d already lost two soldiers, Dennis Walters and Benedick Tremor, and we had no idea where Astrid Wexley was, as her communications were cut off when she was speaking to us a couple of hours ago. She could be dead or alive, but we had no idea. Myself, Gale, Cailean and Hadley Walker were in the main square either shooting or firing arrows at Peacekeepers all around us, but we were vastly outnumbered. With what was left of the rebel army in Eight, it was us versus the Capitol, and we were bound to lose. We had found some of the Victors - Odeon Avisdee, Zosia Verity, Ellorah Harpernet and Rufus Ripley - but it was too dangerous to get them out of there.

“We can’t take them!” I shouted to the other four members of my team. “We either need to surrender or run for it!”

“We’re not doing either of those things!” Gale shouted back angrily.

“You’re not in command!” I reminded him.

“Not the time to be worrying about that!” Hadley snapped at us.

“It’s still my call!” I told the pair of them. I dodged behind a piece of the street that had been blasted off to the side and removed my helmet, speaking into my communicuff. “Team Rescue, are you there?” I said into it, hoping against hope that they were nearby. “Hello? Come in, Team Rescue!” I could hear a bit of feedback back at me, but I couldn’t make out the words. “Hello? Team Rescue?” More feedback, until...

“Team Eastern, this is Team Rescue. We hear you loud and clear,” a familiar voice spoke back to me, although it was still difficult to identify it.

“Commander Gillies, is that you?” I asked into my communicuff.

“Negative. This is Commander Mellark, Commander Gillies stayed behind,” said the voice, and my heart started beating quickly. Peeta? He wasn’t safe. I failed to save him. He was heading right into the heart of battle - back into the arena - and I couldn’t stop him. “I can’t make out who’s speaking to me. Where’s Commander Hawthorne?”

“There is no Commander Hawthorne,” I said back into the communicuff, and it was the last thing I said, because a bomb went off right beside me. I quickly put my helmet back on and rejoined my team as a hovercraft landed right in the middle of the square, quickly unloading all of the soldiers in their black uniforms and face-concealing helmets, led by a certain familiar stocky-framed one who was pointing in various directions, before it flew off before it was destroyed. The soldiers scattered about, and my own team met up with them somewhere in the middle.

“Yeah!” cried Cailean, clasping hands with one of the soldiers, who must have been Calum. “Perfect timing! Time to kick some Capitol ass!”

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

It was utter chaos in District Eight. It was hard to make out who was who, since everyone was wearing a dark helmet over their faces so they couldn’t be recognised. At one point, I dodged a bomb by leaping over a barrier and hiding behind it, and I pulled a grenade from my vest. Another figure, smaller framed and from the other team, leaped over the barrier to dodge a set of bullets, but I couldn’t tell who it was. As I pulled the pin from the grenade, they whistled at me and held out a hand, and I tossed the activated grenade to them. They pulled out a cylinder, pressed a button and the cylinder turned into a large bow, and the soldier used the grenade like an arrow and launched it at an incoming hovercraft, blowing it to bits.

“Nice one!” I said to the soldier, and we both got up and ran off single file to another location. I couldn’t tell exactly who it was - it could be Astrid Wexley, Hadley Walker or even Katniss. Wait, she had brown hair, and Astrid was blonde, so it had to be either Katniss or Hadley, but I couldn’t tell which. They both sounded remarkably similar, and like Katniss, Hadley was a refugee from Hebridia, too, having come over on the same ship that she had, and they were around the same height and age, and both of them were excellent archers, too. The soldier spoke into a communicuff.

“Hawthorne, take the birds!” she shouted into her wrist.

“What the hell do you think I’ve been doing?” Gale’s voice came back at her. The two of us ducked behind a destroyed building, the other soldier peering over the top. She pulled an arrow from her quiver and fired it at an incoming Peacekeeper, setting him on fire. “I’m out of bomb arrows!” came Gale’s voice again. “They’ve figured out what we’re doing, they’re going to be harder to shoot!”

“Not for me, they won’t!” the soldier replied.

“Katniss, they’re not birds, they’re people! You can’t predict their movements! Not with the limited view in these damn helmets!” Gale spat back at her. So it was Katniss, not Hadley. Upon this revelation, I suddenly noticed the identifying medic band around her right upper arm - only Katniss was her team’s medic, not Hadley.

“Those damn helmets have saved your life several times, Soldier Hawthorne,” came Cailean’s voice.

“Someone once told me that people are no different than animals,” Katniss said, and she pulled off her helmet and raised her bow at the last hovercraft, which was flying in an erratic pattern. She waited, and waited, until she fired - but at that same moment, a Peacekeeper had shot at her, the bullet passing through her shoulder. I watched it almost in slow motion - the arrow flying towards the hovercraft, and Katniss falling backwards, a cloudy mist of her blood following the bullet as it passed through the back of her shoulder. The second her back hit the ground, the arrow made contact with the hovercraft, blowing it up, and then time seemed to unfreeze. I quickly got up and raised my own gun at the Peacekeeper, taking him out before ducking back down behind the wall to check on Katniss.

“Katniss! Katniss, are you all right?” I asked her, pulling my own helmet off and brushing her hair back off of her forehead. Her silvery eyes met mine and she seemed to freeze for a moment, but swimming in her eyes was absolute joy, considering we hadn’t seen each other in three months.

“Peeta,” she muttered quietly, raising one of her hands to rest on my cheek. I smiled at her, holding my hand over hers, and then she remembered the pain in her shoulder. “Did it pass through? The bullet?”

“Yeah,” I told her. “Yeah, it did.” She started to feel around her injured shoulder with her free hand. “No drastic blood loss or bruising, no movement... Looks like it passed through without hitting anything major. I’ll be fine.” She sat up and removed her medipack from her belt, pulling out two pieces of gauze and a bandage. She cut away at the fabric on her uniform and placed the gauze on the front, then looked at me. “Put the second gauze on my back over the wound and help me wrap this, please. I need to get back out there.”

“I’ll gladly do that, but you’re done for the day,” I told her, doing as I was told.

“Peeta, I can’t be. I’m First in Command,” she replied.

“You? First in Command?”

“Jackson’s decision.”

“Doesn’t matter, you’re not fighting anymore. You’re injured, and I’m not going to have you die on me. Not after all we’ve been through,” I told her firmly, finishing up the bandage around her shoulder.

“Peeta-” I didn’t even give her a chance to argue back. As soon as my hands were free, I took her face in them and firmly pressed my lips against hers, kissing her for the first time in months, and she returned it hungrily.

“You’re done. You at least owe me that,” I told her, reminding her that she’d left me behind.

“Just don’t let Gale be in command. That’s the last thing this division needs,” she told me, allowing me to help her stand.

“Gladly,” I replied.

“It’s all gone quiet,” she told me after a moment, and I turned and realised that the war we flew into certainly had gone quiet. Had the Capitol retreated? Did Eight surrender? I spoke into my communicuff.

“Why’s it all gone quiet?” I asked.

“Who’s speaking?” Gale replied back.

“Commander Mellark. Why’s it all gone quiet?” I repeated.

“Announce yourself before speaking,  _ Commander, _ ” Gale’s rather bitter voice replied back.

“Thank you,  _ Soldier _ Hawthorne, now for the third time, why’s it all gone quiet?” I replied back.

“The Capitol retreated. It’s not a surrender and Commander Paylor says they’ve been coming back every few days to bomb the district again, but for now, all’s clear. Let’s get these Victors out of here,” Gale replied rather authoritatively.

“What about the remaining people of Eight?” I asked him.

“We can’t take everyone, Mellark. Our mission was to find the Victors and bring them back so they can participate in your Senate,” Gale told me.

“What about Astrid? Has anyone found her yet?” Katniss asked into her own communicuff.

“I’ve got eyes on her. She’s injured, but all right,” came Hadley Walker’s distinctive Hebridean brogue. Our next step was to check in with Commander Paylor to see if there was anything we could do, and if there was, to leave the rescue team behind to assist them. If that were the case, I’d leave Calum in charge because I was not going to let myself be separated from Katniss again, not when she was injured. I loved her so much, but she was reckless and restless, and if I wasn’t there watching over her, she’d likely injure herself further.

“You're an excellent Commander,” Katniss told Commander Paylor as we checked in with her, leaning heavily on me. Evidently, she was nursing another injury on her leg that she had failed to tell me about, but I wouldn’t find out about that one until later.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Commander Mellark. Both of you. You’re incredibly skilled in combat,” Commander Paylor replied. “I heard about your Senate, and that it was your idea, Katniss. Seeking representation from all of the districts is a great way to secure a win for the rebellion.”

“District Eight only has one victor, which means the second Senate seat is open,” I suggested. “Soon, we’ll be searching for another representative for Eight. Would you be interested?”

“I’d have to think about that one, Commander Mellark. Politics aren’t exactly my thing, but if the people want a representative, then I suppose I can’t say no,” Commander Paylor replied. We left her tending to her own soldiers, hopeful that someone as skilled in leadership as Commander Paylor would consider joining the Senate and representing District Eight in deciding how the rebellion will happen. We boarded the hovercraft, along with the four newly rescued Victors, all of us nursing one injury or another.

I refused to leave Katniss’s side even for a second. I feared that if I let her out of my sight, she’d run off again, so I kept her close, which irritated her. “The more you push me away, the sooner we’re going to have a conversation that you know will piss us both off, but I’d like to not have that conversation right now. You owe me this, Katniss. You left me behind,” I warned her, and she stopped fussing. It was strange to see my girl on fire backing down from an argument so easily, but I knew she was tired, sore, and likely missed me as much as I missed her. All we wanted was a bit of peace and quiet, just for a little while.

But we both knew that we were going to have to have that conversation.

We sat in silence on the hovercraft, Katniss leaning against me and our hands firmly entwined. The rescue team’s hovercraft was much larger than Katniss’s, considering we had a fully equipped hospital on board. We were waiting for Katniss to be tended to, but in the meantime, we simply sat together, Finnick sitting nearby.

“Finnick, there’s someone helping out in the hospital that I think you’d like to see,” Katniss said to him suddenly, and both Finnick and I glanced at her with confusion. She got up and left my side, limping into the hospital area, which was only two beds separated by curtains, whispered something to someone. A moment later, an older woman with golden hair and bronzed skin appeared in the doorway, and Finnick’s jaw fell.

“Ma?” he asked, and the woman smiled and nodded.

“Hello, my little starfish,” the woman said, approaching Finnick, and the two of them firmly embraced.

“I can’t believe this... Wait, what about...” Finnick began, and he was interrupted by a little toddler toddling out of the hospital. He had curly red hair, like Annie, and seafoam green eyes, like Finnick.

“Mammy!” said the little boy, calling after his grandmother, and Finnick was quick to jump up from his seat and collapse onto his knees as the little boy’s face lit up. “Dada!”

“Killick! My boy!” Finnick exclaimed, hugging the little toddler tightly against his chest and kissing his red curls over and over again. Katniss sat down beside me and took my hand again.

“You found his family?” I asked her quietly.

“In District Four. They’d managed to escape the bombing,” she replied.

“Annie will be so thrilled! When we were in the Capitol, she thought of nothing more than her son. She kept saying over and over again, ‘ _ mo mhac’ _ which I didn’t even know until I got to Thirteen was the Gàidhlig word for ‘my son’,” I told her.

“You got so much better after finally seeing our girls. I wish I’d brought them to you sooner... but nevermind that. I know the second Annie sees her son, she’s going to get better,” Katniss replied, resting her head on my shoulder, and I wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you,” I told her, unable to hold back any longer. Every damn day we’d been apart, I wanted to tell her I loved her, to remind her of how much I loved her, and I longed to hear her say those same words again - but this time, she didn’t. Instead, she fought off tears in her eyes and forced herself not to cry, and seemed relieved when my team’s medic called her into the hospital. Without her by my side, I felt cold and lonely, but I knew that there would be a continuously growing rift between us until we had the conversation that neither of us wanted to have. I was waiting until she was a little bit better, but I knew Katniss’s tactics - she was going to try to avoid me.

Well, I wasn’t going to let that happen.


	17. The Things They Carried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss recovers after her injuries in District Eight. She and Peeta finally discuss his feelings about her leaving him behind.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

I woke up in District Thirteen to blinding white lights. Everything that happened between when I sat down on the hospital bed to now was a blur, or I didn’t remember it at all, but as I came to, I raised an arm to block out the blinding lights and I felt a pressure on my hand, soon followed by a sensation of warmth as my nerves woke back up.

“The lights are bothering her. Can you turn them down a bit, please?” I heard a male voice ask, and the bright light dimmed. My eyes adjusted to this change in light and as they, too, woke up and refocused, I glanced around the room, finding myself in the company of Peeta on my right holding my hand, Mellie standing by the foot of the bed and Prim standing near the lights, of which she had just dimmed. I let out a quiet groan as I rested my right cheek on the pillow, my face turned towards Peeta and my eyes closed, and his free hand rested on the top of my head and brushed back my hair. “I think it’s best if it’s just her and me right now, I think she’s overwhelmed,” Peeta told his mother and Prim.

“We’ll be back, then,” Mellie said.

“Feel better, Katniss, and if you need anything, just press the button by your bed,” Prim told me, and then the two of them left the room together. Peeta was silent for a moment as he held my right hand in his left and rested his right hand on my head, his fingers gently stroking my hair, and he brushed my forehead lightly with his lips.

“You scared me,” he told me quietly. “You didn’t tell me you were shot in the side.”

“I was?” I asked him, still disoriented, and then the memory came back. “Yes... right... Sorry, I... I didn’t even really feel it until... until after things calmed down...”

“They said they had to remove your spleen because it was too badly damaged,” he told me.

“It’s a useless organ, anyway,” I said back.

“What’s it even do?”

“Filtration. Filters red blood cells, stores blood in case of a hemorrhage.”

“That... sounds kind of important...”

“The body accommodates. The kidneys filter the blood and, well, if I have a hemorrhage, then I guess I’m out of luck.” I was being sarcastic, but Peeta didn’t sound amused.

“I don’t think that’s very funny, Katniss. You were seriously injured.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I could have prevented that.”

“I’ll remind you that I was shot while I was with you, and we’re not having this conversation right now. I just woke up from, I’m guessing, surgery.” He let out a sigh.

“We’ll have to talk about this sometime.”

“Not today.” We were both silent for a moment. “Where’s the girls? I miss them.”

“Since all those kids that came from Twelve arrived with no families, a sort of orphanage/childcare room was opened. At night, the kids with no families sleep there and during the day, all the children younger than six go there. Lark and Maevis absolutely love it. Delly runs it, along with one of the women we picked up in Twelve.”

“Including Gale’s son?”

“Gale hasn’t been to see his son. He lets him live there. Hasn’t said a word about it.”

“Has anyone talked to him about it?”

“He dodges the subject,” he told me, meeting my eyes with a look that said ‘ _just like someone else we know’_. I removed my hand from Peeta’s and tried to adjust myself in the bed, but it was too painful. My right shoulder was injured from the bullet that passed through it and my left side was sore from where I had my spleen removed. I was trapped, and I groaned in pain as I moved. Peeta reached over to an IV pole and turned a dial on a machine, which must have released some morphling into my veins because I immediately felt the warm, soothing sensation of the morphling melting my pain away.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him as he sat back down.

“It’s getting close to dinner. I should go and collect the girls and get them ready to eat. Would you like me to bring them by after?” he asked me, but I shook my head.

“I don’t want them to see me like this... Maybe tomorrow, when I’m more alert and, hopefully, less drugged,” I replied.

“Okay,” Peeta replied, and he stood and leaned down to brush back my hair and plant a kiss on my forehead. “Get some rest. I’ll come by again after dinner.”

“Stay with the girls. I think I’d rather just sleep,” I told him. I knew I was starting to push him away again. I always did that whenever there was tension between us because I never wanted to face it, and he knew that. He saw what I was doing immediately. He let out a sigh as he stepped away from me, giving me space.

“Fine. I’ll come by tomorrow,” he replied coolly, and then he left. I felt a tear roll down my cheek the moment that door closed behind him and I stifled a sniffle. I missed his warm touch, being in his arms, feeling his lips against mine and, though I was too exhausted to even consider being aroused, his body moving against mine, within me, his hands roaming my skin to remind me of how much he loved me, and my hands and lips all over his to tell him how much I loved him.

But I couldn’t talk to him about what had happened when I left him here. He was safe for three months, out of harm’s way. He could have died in any of the confrontations we’d had with peacekeepers, but I suppose that I could have, too. But I didn’t. I survived, and leaving him behind only cost me a spleen. And his trust. But to me, it was worth it, because he was safe and our daughters never had the chance to potentially lose both their mother and their father, which could have happened had we both gone on the mission.

As much as I dreaded it, the talk was inevitable, and I knew that the longer we put it off, the nastier it would get.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

She was pushing me away again. She always does this when she’s faced with something she doesn’t like or want to do. She pushed me away when we were in the Capitol for the first Games that we’d mentored and she’d pushed me away when she was forced to have Maevis and our unborn child. And now here she was, doing it again because she thought she was right, but deep down, she knew she was wrong. The conversation was inevitable, but the more she pushed me away, the higher the chance that that conversation would turn into a fight.

It was still early for dinner, and I didn’t want to get my girls from childcare while angry, so I went for a walk to clear my head. I went down to the gardens, where food was grown for the people of Thirteen to eat, and as I passed through, I happened upon Gale sitting on a bench looking over some paperwork. “Funny I meet you here,” I told him, surprising him just a little. He looked up at me and scowled. “I didn’t take you for a ‘garden with fluttering butterflies’ kind of person.”

“It’s the closest I can get to being outside down here,” Gale told me, turning back to his paperwork. “How’s Katniss?”

“Lost her spleen, but she’ll be okay,” I replied.

“What’s a spleen?” Gale asked, equally confused by the organ as I was.

“Something that filters blood, she said. She called it useless, but I’m sure we wouldn’t have it if it really was useless,” I replied.

“I bet you’re pissed she left you out of the mission, aren’t you?”

“I bet you were overjoyed when she told you she was leaving me out of the mission.” He looked up at me with a harsh scowl on his face. “I was on the rescue team when we went to Twelve to rescue my brother, those other refugees and all those children.” He looked away, knowing where this conversation was going. “Your son was among them. Rye said you didn’t even see him.”

“He’s better off like that,” Gale replied, clearly not wanting to discuss this topic.

“I like to think sometimes that my daughters would be better off without me, too,” I said, approaching the bench. “Scoot over.” He did, and I sat down beside him. “But then I realised that that wouldn’t be fair to them, even if it were true. They love me, same as I love them, and they need someone who loves them to take care of them. I wouldn’t trust my children to be raised by anyone else.”

“Well, then it seems like you’re a perfect parent for him.” Ah, so he knew I took on care for his son.

“I’m an okay substitute, given the fact that I’ve been a father for almost four years now... but there’s no better parent for a child than the parent they’re born to.” He was staring ahead now, at a nest of hummingbirds. In the nest were baby birds that were calling out for their mother, and she buzzed by and fed her babies. “Gale... Our children are the only people in the world who love us unconditionally. If you love them, they’ll never judge you. They’ll never tell you that you’re not good enough or you’re worthless... They won’t keep corrosive secrets from you that’ll tear apart your relationship with them. Katniss said you used to talk about wanting children...”

“Maybe she was right in not wanting any. It’s a shit world we live in, and it’s on fire.”

“Is that it? If anything, I’d say that should be a sure reason to fight back against that shit world and put those fires out.” I paused for a second, choosing my next words carefully. “Are you mad that you didn’t have him with Katniss?” He scoffed.

“You really think I would admit that to _you_ ? Her _husband_? The guy she says she loves more than anything and had two children with?”

“Do you have any other friends that you’d admit that to?” The other man let out a sigh. “So, is that it? Because if so, then that isn’t his fault. He didn’t choose who he was born to. All he knows is you’re his dad, and he loves you. He hasn’t seen you in over a year, Gale. That’s your boy; he needs you.”

“I thought everything was supposed to end up so differently. Katniss was supposed to marry me. She wouldn’t love me, but we’d marry for a partnership. And maybe she’d change her mind about children... but I was supposed to be it. And I’m not. It ended up being you.” He looked up at me, but there was no hate or bitterness in his eyes - if anything, what I saw in his eyes was acceptance. “I don’t believe I’m meant to love anyone but Katniss, and I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”

“Have you tried?” He shook his head.

“Took lots of girls to the slag heap, but never went anywhere with them. Did you?”

“Take girls to the slag heap? No, that wasn’t my speed. I only had eyes for Katniss and I felt wrong trying to woo a girl when I knew that I loved Katniss.” I paused as I watched his expression change. “I didn’t mean...” I let out a sigh. “You’ll have your chance to be happy, but you have to let yourself be free to, and to do that, you have to let her go. She may be it for you, but you’re not it for her, so go and find the person who is for you, because loving someone who will never love you back? It’s awful... It’s not a way to live. I think having a relationship with your son will help you.”

“Would he even remember me?”

“Of course he would. You’re his dad, he’d recognise you anywhere.” I raised a hand to pat his upper back, and then I stood. “Speaking of children, I need to collect my girls and take them to dinner. If you need any more advice or if your son decides to be a little hellion, you know where to find me. I’ve got one of those myself.” The other man chuckled quietly as I stood and made my way towards the door.

“Mellark,” he said, and I stopped to face him. “If you break her heart, I’ll shoot your balls off.” It was my turn to chuckle.

“Fair enough,” I said, and then I left.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

I had my breakfast in bed the next morning, having to eat with one hand since my other was in a sling. As I was finishing up, there was a knock on the door and following the knock was the sound of the door opening to reveal two familiar blonde heads that made me smile. “Mama!” Lark exclaimed when she saw me, being held by her father on his hip.

“Lark, my little bird!” I exclaimed back, holding out my free arm for Peeta to set her on the bed so she could crawl into it. I kissed the top of her beautiful honey golden curls and hugged her tightly against my chest, careful not to agitate the stitches in my left side. “Where’s Maevis?” I asked Peeta, realising that he wasn’t accompanied by a little brunette.

“She woke up with a cold this morning, and she’s being looked at by a doctor. Yours didn’t want her in here in case she got you sick, and I’d already promised Lark I’d bring her by,” Peeta explained.

“Poor baby, I want to see her,” I replied as I ran my fingers through Lark’s hair.

“You will soon, you’re not going anywhere for a while,” Peeta replied, sitting down in the seat beside my bed. I ignored that comment as I kissed Lark’s forehead.

“Mummy missed you, my little bird. Were you a good girl for Daddy?” I asked my older daughter, who would be four really soon. It was almost New Year’s Eve now, and Lark would be four in February.

“Yup!” Lark told me.

“So she says,” Peeta replied. “Someone was _not_ happy when Mama didn’t say goodnight to her that night.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” I told my daughter. “Mummy promises not to leave like that again.”

“You said that before, Mama, and then you did! You left again!” Lark whined at me, and I let out a sigh.

“I know... Right now, Mummy can’t be sure to keep promises like that,” I told her.

“Then why make them?” Lark asked, laying her head on my shoulder and snuggling up to me the way I would to Peeta when we slept.

“Is Maevis feeling okay?” I asked my husband.

“She’s a little fussy right now, and probably sleeping a lot, but she’ll be okay. We’ve all had colds before. They’re harmless, nothing more than a mild annoyance,” he told me.

“You know how worried I get when one of my babies has a fever,” I told him, snuggling up with Lark and avoiding his eye. She grew so much in the three months that I was away, and she looked so much like Peeta, looking more and more like him every day. I once saw a couple of photographs of Peeta when he was about Lark’s age - Rye had shown them to me in an attempt to embarrass Peeta, but it didn’t work because I thought he’d looked adorable - and Lark looked identical to him when he was that age. She was going to be his clone when she grew up, and she was going to be beautiful. “Has Annie seen Killick yet?”

“She has, and you were right. She’s already doing so much better with Finnick now that she’s got her son. I think it helps that he looks so much like his father. She hasn’t let him out of her sight, and I can’t blame her. She thought he was dead.”

“I felt so much relief for her when I found them in Four. I know what it feels like, thinking your child is dead and finding that they aren’t...” I kissed Lark’s honey golden curls again and squeezed her tightly.

“She’s on the road to recovery. We all are... and there’s still no sign of the vaccine stopping. It’s still working.” He paused for a moment. “Johanna’s been seeing a therapist, and she says it’s been helping her. She said she’d be the last person to ever see a head doctor, but she’s doing it, and it’s working.”

“That’s good. What about yours?”

“I stopped seeing him a couple of months ago.” I quickly turned my head to look at him. He needed that therapy. He still had nightmares where he would wake up and think I was a threat before quickly coming to - or at least, he did three months ago. “I don’t need to anymore, I’m doing better. Raising the girls has helped me. If they love you unconditionally, then I have no reason not to trust you, and I know that.” He paused again. “Well... had.”

“Peeta.”

“We have to talk about it sometime. It’s been three days.”

“Not with Lark in the room.”

“Tonight, then.”

“I’m really not up to it, Peeta.”

“We have to talk about this.”

“Not now!”

“Mama, Daddy, are you mad?” Lark’s sweet little voice interrupted the tense moment and we both looked at her, my hand running through her hair as my firm scowl turned into a soft smile.

“Everything’s okay, baby,” I told her. “Mama and Daddy just... We’re having a bit of a disagreement, that’s all.”

“What for?” Lark asked us.

“Mama says that ice cream is better than cake, but Daddy says that cake is the best dessert,” Peeta chimed in, always the best when talking to children. “Want to help us settle the debate, honey bun?”

“Cake! Cake is better! Daddy makes the cakes pretty but you can’t make the ice creams pretty,” Lark said sweetly and innocently.

“Daddy does make very good cakes, doesn't he, little bird?” I asked my daughter, and she nodded.

“He makes the best cakes!” she replied, and Peeta and I both smiled, those smiles fading as we met each other’s eyes.

After that day, I made sure I was given sleep syrup every day, claiming that I was having trouble sleeping. It made me too groggy to argue, but I told Peeta that they gave it to me because I wasn’t sleeping enough. It kept the conversation at bay, but he knew that I was lying about needing the sleep syrup, and I could see that it was making him angry. For five days, he came every morning, afternoon and evening. On the sixth day, he came in the morning and evening, and on the seventh day, he came only in the evening.

“Where were you?” I asked him sleepily.

“Busy dealing with the Senate, which, you’d partake in if you weren’t here drugged up on sleep syrup all the time,” he’d told me bitterly.

“They gave it to me to help me sleep, Peeta,” I told him.

“Bullshit, no they didn’t. You just don’t want to have this conversation that we need to have because the longer we delay it, the angrier we’re going to get at each other,” he replied with anger in his tone.

“I’m not talking about this while I’m in hospital still,” I replied, lying back on the bed and closing my eyes to shut him out.

“That’s why you’re being discharged. Let’s go. Mom took the girls to Rye’s room so we can have this conversation in private,” he replied, grasping my wrists and pulling me to sit up.

“Peeta, the needles!”

“They were removed when you were out cold from the sleep syrup. You don’t need them anymore. They wanted you discharged two days ago. Come on, they’ve got a wheelchair outside for you to sit in.”

“Peeta, calm down!”

“Do you agree that we’re going to have this conversation when we get back to our room?” I huffed at him.

“Fine, whatever.”

“Then I’ll calm down. You’re not avoiding this anymore. It doesn’t have to end with the two of us mad at each other so long as we keep our heads, okay?” I grunted at him as he helped me off the bed, gently, and led me out the door and into a wheelchair.

“What about these bedclothes?” I asked him, referring to the white hospital clothes I was still wearing.

“We can bring them back later. For now, let’s get you back to the room,” Peeta replied, wheeling me out of the hospital. The closer we got to our room, the bigger the knot in my stomach grew. I couldn’t have this conversation with him. It was going to end badly and he’ll hate me and leave me and take our daughters with him because I’m a horrible mother and then I’ll be left all on my own. I fought off the tears that stung my eyes as Peeta opened the door to our room and wheeled me into our bedroom, closing the door behind him. He quietly helped me out of the wheelchair and onto the bed, not saying a word as he helped me change out of the hospital clothes and into a nightgown. He didn’t even pause to look at my breasts the way he normally would have. When all was said and done, and I was situated in the bed, he pushed the wheelchair back a little bit and sat down in it, his eyes cast downward and his hands clasped in his lap.

“I just wanted to start by saying that, no matter what happens or what’s said... I still love you. I’ll always love you. If Snow couldn’t make me hate you with all the tracker jacker venom and falsified footage, then there is nothing you can say or do that will make me stop loving you. You’ve had my heart since we were eight years old... I know you get worried about stuff like that, but I promise that when all this is said and done, no matter what decision we make, I will still love you,” he began.

“Decision? What are you talking about?” I asked him, my heart rate and my breathing increasing in speed.

“Relax, relax, I’m not saying anything rash or bad is going to happen, but... I just wanted to make that clear. I love you. I’ll always love you,” he replied. “Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do,” I told him, and then I realised that he was asking me because he wanted to hear it. “I’ll always love you, Peeta. I never wanted to love anyone, but I love you, and I’ll never love anyone else the way I love you.”

“No matter what happens?”

“No matter what happens.”

“Good.” He took a deep breath, then met my eyes again. “I’m not happy that you left me behind. You lied and told me that we were leaving later, but you left several hours earlier. You knew I wanted to be there with you and you knew that I didn’t want you to leave this place without me, but you did it anyway.”

“I just wanted to protect you. I couldn’t live with myself if you’d gotten hurt, or worse... We were gone for three months. What if you ran out of medication? What if the vaccine stopped working?”

“But it didn’t. It’s not even faltering. It’s still as strong as it was the day you injected me with it.” He was surprisingly calm, while I was getting emotional.

“But we didn’t _know_ that. Peeta, I needed to keep you safe.”

“So did I, but with you. Did that thought never occur to you? That I needed to keep _you_ safe?”

“What if Snow captured you again? What if a Peacekeeper killed you? What if Snow had given special orders to capture you and execute you the way he had Glitter Pash and those other two Victors?”

“Those same things could have happened to you, and I couldn't prevent them because you left me behind. You didn’t care how that would make me feel, you only cared that you got what you wanted.” His voice started to turn dark. “Do you have any idea how selfish that was?”

“Selfish? After all I’ve done for you, you’re calling me ‘selfish’?” That was the wrong thing to say and I knew it immediately. His eyes darkened and his brow furrowed, and I could see that I’d pissed him off.

“Yes, I’m calling you selfish, because it’s the goddamn truth,” he said to me firmly. “You didn’t care that I wanted more than anything to protect you and keep you safe. You didn’t care how you leaving me behind like that and taking my _choice_ to want to protect you away from me would affect me, because you’re _selfish_ and were only thinking of yourself.”

“How dare you!”

“How dare I?” He stood up from the wheelchair. “How could you take that choice away from me? Katniss, I just wanted to protect you! I’m not well if I don’t know you’re safe so if you really think that I was better off here not having any idea where you were or what was happening to you, then you are delusional!” He was trying so hard to keep himself from shouting, but he was so angry that it was hard, and I could see in the way his pupils dilated that the adrenaline in his blood was starting to interact with the little bit of venom that would constantly be present in his blood. I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Ever the idiot who always plays with fire, aren’t I?

“Why is it okay for _you_ to keep secrets in order to ‘protect’ me, but when _I_ do it, it’s wrong?” I asked him. If he wanted to throw this at me, to play this game with _me_ \- the girl on fire with plenty of ammunition to fire back at whoever challenged me - then I was going to play it right back, harder.

“What secrets are you even talking about?” he asked me, seeming to forget for a moment all of the secrets he kept from me in the four years before we even got to this point.

“What happened in the Capitol,” I told him, and he stilled, his eyes going wide. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me that Snow sold you to buyers to have sex with you?”

“Because it would have destroyed you to know what had happened.” He firmly believed that that was the truth, but he was so wrong.

“It destroyed you to have it _happen_ to you! How can you say that what could have happened with me - the shock, the pain at knowing that you were suffering and being used and hurt both physically and emotionally - was worse than what actually _did_ happen to _you_? How can you say that? If you seriously think that that would have destroyed me, then you don’t know me at al! I’m stronger than you think I am, Peeta Mellark!” I stood now and was level with him, although he was taller than me.

“I wanted to protect our children, too! I knew that you would react negatively and maybe... I don’t know, gone after Snow or said something stupid that might have compromised your agreement with him!” My eyes widened. How _dare_ he?

“Said something _stupid_ ? I would have said something _stupid_ ? Peeta, you joined a whole _fucking_ rebellion without telling me and you were worried that I might _‘say something stupid’_?” He’s done it now.

“You wanted nothing to do with the rebellion,” he replied firmly, but he was still trying to hold back his anger.

“You didn’t tell me there _was_ one! You didn’t tell me you were in it! You kept that from me! You kept secrets from me and now you’re angry because I kept you out of danger for as long as I possibly could! Don’t you think that if Snow ever found out that you were part of the rebellion, that we’d all be punished anyway? I’d have rather found out from you than him!”

“So why is it okay for you to go and do the same damn thing, then? If it was so wrong and if you were so angry about it then why did you go and do it to me, huh? You knew I’d be furious with you!”

“Just as you knew I’d be furious with you for keeping secrets from me! An eye for an eye, eh?” He threw up his hands and turned his back to me.

“You’re impossible sometimes!”

“ _I’m_ impossible?” He turned back to me and approached me.

“Katniss, my being raped in the Capitol had no effect on you. You couldn’t have gotten hurt. Okay? I was the only one who did. You went to _war_ without me and need I remind you that you got shot twice and lost your spleen?”

“It’s a useless organ anyway!”

“That doesn’t matter! That’s not the point! You went to war! I could have kept you safe! You couldn’t have kept me safe from what Snow did in the Capitol. It was too late for me. Someone else decided that that was going to happen to me, but _you_ decided that you were going to go off to war. I could have stopped you from getting hurt! You couldn’t have stopped me from getting sold to Capitol citizens. Snow probably would have made you do the same thing. Do you _really_ think that I could let that happen? That I could sit idly by while you get raped by some blue-skinned idiot who looks at you like an object? No! I couldn’t allow that to happen to you! I’d rather die than let that happen to you! But war is different, Katniss! Anything can happen in war. There’s no bedroom with one person who wants to tie you to the damn bed and rub their tongue all over you! There’s guns and bullets and bombs and people who want to kill you!”

“There were people who wanted to hurt you!”

“They wanted to have sex with me. They didn’t care that I was getting hurt emotionally or physically in the process. People in war _want_ to hurt you. The peacekeepers _wanted_ you dead. Katniss, you have no argument here and you _cannot_ use that against me! It isn’t the same thing! You’re comparing apples to oranges!”

“Who said anything about fucking apples and oranges?” I demanded, interrupting him. Fucking apples and oranges? The hell does fruit have to do with this bloody conversation? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them again, speaking as calmly as he possibly could.

“If you insist that you going off to war without me was my fault - not your conscious decision - then I am _done_ with this conversation,” he said, turning to leave.

“Fine! Go on and run off then, see if I care! You’re safe and you’re alive and that means I’m right!” I shouted after him.

“Just because you got the outcome you wanted doesn’t mean it was right,” Peeta spat back. “By the way, does this action look familiar?” He slammed the door behind and left me there by myself.

“Fine! Leave! See if I _fucking_ care! You’ll come back, and I won’t be here when you do!” I shouted, grabbing the nearest thing to me - a clock - and throwing it at the door, shattering it. I broke down into tears, collapsing onto the ground and screaming into my hands, unable to stop the shattering of my heart. It hurt so much. I never knew that watching someone you loved consciously and willingly walk away from you would hurt so much. Was this the end of us? Was he right after all? Had I made a mistake? At least he was alive, and he could live and be a wonderful father to Lark and Maevis and he could find someone else who could make him happy and who wouldn’t defy him like I do. “Peeta...” I muttered quietly into my hands, silently begging him to come back, but he wouldn’t. We were finished.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

I didn’t leave the room immediately. Once I’d slammed the bedroom door behind me, I collapsed against it and slid to the floor, burying my face in my hands. “Fine! Leave! See if I _fucking_ care! You’ll come back, and I won’t be here when you do!” Katniss shouted back at me, probably assuming I was leaving, and then the sound of something hard, but small, hitting the door and shattering startled me, but I didn’t move. I heard her screaming after that, and I wanted so badly to go back in there, take her into my arms and apologise again and again, but this time, I had nothing to apologise for. If I gave in and did that, she would win and then she would think that that was okay, and I couldn’t have that. There was no way in hell I was ever going to let her do that to me again. I was drowning in misery the whole damn time she was away from me, and I don’t think I could survive it a second time. When I couldn’t stand to listen to her sobs anymore, I choked down my own sobs as I got up and rushed out of the room, closing the door as quietly as I could.

I still loved her, and I hoped that, for her at least, this wasn’t the end of us, but it might be. She might leave me and go to Gale, take our two beautiful daughters away from me. She may never want to see me again, but I knew that in the moment, we were both emotional. Two days from now, a Senate meeting would be held, where we’d discuss what to do about the two remaining missing Victors, but I didn’t think I could wait two days to see my Katniss again. Tomorrow, I’d come back and beg for a second chance to talk again, and this time, I wouldn’t get angry. I swore I wouldn’t. I supposed that, for the moment, I just needed to find a place to stay, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be welcome in her bed after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Katniss and Peeta work through this problem? Both are stubborn, but who will crack first? Or is this the end for them?
> 
> Please review!


	18. Shelter Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight continues as Peeta remains unrelenting and Katniss finds that she has a bit of growing up to do. The Senate comes together for the first time since the Victors were found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I’m going to take a very brief hiatus as I reread this story. I’ve found that because it’s so long and because it’s been a while since I’ve read it, I’m forgetting a lot of important details that are vital to the plot. It shouldn’t be very long!

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

I didn’t want Peeta to be the one who slept away from the girls. He was the better parent and he deserved more than I did to stay in the same room as them, so I went instead to claim Mellie’s old bed in Prim’s room. Prim spent most of her time in the hospital, coming back to the room at odd hours. That first night without Peeta by my side, she would be in the hospital for several hours, and I simply didn’t want to leave my bed. I laid there exhausted from the argument and from healing from my injuries and I dozed off just a little, but my sleep would not go uninterrupted.

It wasn’t a nightmare, really, but given the circumstances, it sure felt like one. I’d had an erotic dream about Peeta and me, on the beach in Four. My dream started right after he’d given me the black pearl and he laid me in the sand, sliding his hands up my thighs until his fingers slipped beneath my underpants. I felt the warmth of his fingers as they drew lines up and down my outer lips, and then something changed. Suddenly, we were fully naked on an island, lying in the wet sand with the waves crashing around us. He had the black pearl between his fingers, and then he rolled it down my body starting from my collarbone. He circled my nipples with it, the cool sensation of the pearl causing my nipples to go taut and a guttural moan to escape my lips. I felt the pearl roll further south, growing nearer and nearer to my core, and just before I felt the coolness of the pearl on the place where I desired his attention the most - I woke up.

Startled somewhat by the drastic change in scenery, I observed what the dream had done to my body. My core was sore with need and my underpants were positively drenched, and I  _ desperately _ needed Peeta inside me. But he wasn’t here. He was mad at me - hated me, even, for what I had done to him and how I had hurt him. Why was I always hurting him? I loved him so much, but I always hurt him. I couldn’t think of that now - my core throbbed with need and I needed relief, and if Peeta wasn’t here to relieve me of my tension, then I would have to do it myself. Throwing off the blanket, pulling my nightgown up to my ribcage and sliding my underpants off of my hips and down to my knees, the cool air coming into contact with the moistness of my core giving me some small relief, I groaned as I stretched my thighs apart. For a moment, I thought that the cool air would be enough, until my body got used to the change in temperature; I needed relief.

My uninjured left hand rested first on my stomach and then slid down until my fingers made contact with my wetness.  _ You are so wet, baby, _ I imagined Peeta saying to me, as if the fingers dipping into my wetness belonged to him. “Oh, Peeta...” I moaned as my fingers first lightly brushed my folds, and then the moistened pads of my middle and pointer fingers made contact with my sensitive nub, so swollen with need, and I began to rub small circles on it. “Peeta... Yes, Peeta,” I moaned as I pleasured myself. My right arm, contained by the sling to keep my shoulder immobile, was near my breasts, so my right hand raised my nightgown to expose my breast and my fingers began to satisfy my need there as well.

It felt  _ so _ good. Fingers dipping into my wetness every so often to lubricate my clitoris, and fingers stimulating and massaging my breast and nipple. All at the same time.  _ You’re so beautiful, _ my mind imagined Peeta saying to me.  _ I love to play with your cunt. You have such a beautiful cunt. _ My Peeta would never say such words, but imagining him saying those words turned me on even more. As I imagined the words leaving Peeta’s lips, my hips bucked and a guttural moan left my throat. “Deeper... Go deeper... Inside...” I begged imaginary Peeta, but I knew that the one controlling my pleasure tonight was me. My fingers left my clitoris and found my opening, and I paused. One thing I’d never done before was insert a finger into my vagina. I’d once slipped the back end of a pen in there once, when I was experimenting to see if I was still in pain after Lark had been born, but I’d never put a finger in myself. Would I even do it right? The need was too strong; I had to do it.

I lined up my middle finger at my entrance, hesitated just for a moment, and then pushed my finger into me. Oh, it felt so good... Why had I never done this before? I pushed my finger in up to my second joint, then pulled it back out, gasping at the sensation, then plunged it in fully. “Peeta...” I moaned as I repeated the action. I pumped my finger in and out of me until the sensation dulled, and then I slipped in a second finger, and then a third. I felt the coolness of my wedding band brush against my thigh, and that turned me on even more. The thought of fucking myself with the hand that indicated that I was married was oddly arousing. I wished I’d had that pearl. I wanted to rub it on my body the way Peeta had in my dream, but it was still at home. I was so terrified of losing it that I didn’t think to bring it with me. Oh- Nope, no time to think about anything else. Only pleasure. Pure, animalistic pleasure.

Suddenly, my legs felt trapped and I pulled my fingers from inside of me, grabbed my underpants and ripped them off of my legs, throwing them across the room. I spread my legs even further and paused before I allowed my hand to slip back down. I glanced down between my legs, wondering if the very sight of me while he was touching me was something that turned Peeta on, and then I turned on the lamp and watched as I inserted my fingers into my opening again, moaning at the very sight. When I watched myself rub Peeta’s hard dick in my hand, it was such an arousing sight to see - it wasn’t so bad seeing it happen to myself, either. Though I knew it was a bad idea, I took off the sling and let my right arm rest on my thigh. It wouldn’t do much work, I wouldn’t let it. Now that I was sitting up, my nightgown kept falling into my view, so I pulled it up and off over my head and tossed it onto the mattress, leaving me fully naked. My right hand then spread my folds and my left inserted another finger, and then I realised that my right thumb could reach my clitoris, too.

“Oh, god, Peeta,” I moaned as I started to stimulate my clitoris while pumping my fingers inside of me. But then I realised that something was missing: the buildup. I’d been touching myself for quite a while and my core still ached with need and I did not feel fulfilled. I’d made myself come before with my own hands, but why was I failing to do so now? I rubbed a little harder and pumped a little faster, but still, nothing was happening. I began to panic. I had so much need and I couldn’t satisfy it. I couldn’t come. What was wrong with me? I got up and bolted into the shower, turning on the water and standing underneath it. My hands busied themselves once again, but to no avail. I could not come. I had so much need, so much desire, but I could not come - I needed Peeta, and the thought destroyed me.

As the realisation dawned on me, I slid down the shower wall and let out a cry in anguish. I missed my Peeta, even though he was safe, under the same roof and I could run to him whenever I pleased. I missed him so much... but he was wrong. He needed to be kept safe here, where Snow had no chance to take him from me again. I was perfectly fine and perfectly capable of protecting myself and keeping myself safe and I didn’t need him to do that for me. He needed to understand that, but he never would, and suddenly, I became angry with him again. The anger dissipated what was left of my arousal as I mulled over our argument again. Calling me selfish, saying I didn’t need to know about what happened to him in the Capitol... It infuriated me all over again.

He would realise soon that he was wrong, and when he does, he’ll come crawling back begging me to forgive him.

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

I didn’t see her the day after our argument because Mom said she’d gone to her sister’s room to sleep. I was going to take up residence in Rye’s room, but if Katniss didn’t want to sleep here, then I would take it as an excuse to be close to my girls, but I asked Mom to sleep in the bed instead. I couldn’t stand having all that space to myself, with no Katniss to fill it. I missed my wife more than anything. I craved her touch, her kiss, her scent, her voice speaking to me and saying my name... I would see her at the senate meeting, the first since the return of the other Victors. The rest would be sworn in and we’d discuss what to do without the last two of the missing Victors - Pascasia Mazarinne and Dravius Pillock. Dravius, according to Beetee, was crucial in getting Three’s support because he was such an eloquent speaker, and without him, Three may not side with the rebellion. Pascasia, on the other hand, was the only victor we had from Nine, and without her, we had no representation for Nine.

When I’d arrived, Katniss was already sitting in the District Twelve seat, and when I walked in, she met my eyes, and the look on her face told me that she was not happy to see me. I paused before going to my seat, her eyes on me as if I were prey. “May I sit here?” I asked her neutrally.

“It’s  _ your _ seat,” she replied, now looking away from me. Her fingers fiddled with a pen over the notepad in front of her and I sat down beside her, shifting my chair as far from her as I could get without bumping into Calum beside me.

“You two all right?” he whispered quietly to me.

“We’re fine,” I whispered back, not wanting to talk about what was going on between myself and Katniss. A few more of the Victors filed in and filled their seats - two from One, two from Two, one from Three, two from Four, two from Five, one from Six, one from Seven (the first time I had seen Johanna, actually, since we came back from the Capitol), one from Eight, none from Nine, one from Ten, one from Eleven, two from Twelve and one from Thirteen. I was about to ask Calum where his Senate partner was when the doors slid open and in walked two Abernathys, both blonde, silver-eyed and confident.

“Good morning, Senators,” Carolina announced to the table as she and Haymitch made their way to a whiteboard against the wall. “Of course, I would like to run this by all of you, but I believe that my father, Haymitch Abernathy, should act as advisor to the Senate not only for his experiences as a victor, but for his espionage and involvement with the rebellion. He will not serve as an additional District Twelve senator, he will purely advise. Does anyone have any opinions on this?”

“Shouldn’t we get someone who is completely unbiased?” Clarabella Dustin had asked. She looked very skinny compared to the last time I’d seen her, which had been on the television at the reaping of District Five before the Centennial Games.

“Haymitch is as unbiased as they come. Take it from the two Victors who won the same year,” I chimed in, and Katniss snorted beside me. I spared a glance at her - she was leaning her head on her hand not looking at me.

“Senator Mellark, do you disagree with your Senate partner?” Clarabella Dustin asked Katniss, who looked up at her.

“I have nothing to say,” Katniss replied, sitting up.

“Looks like you do,” I told her coolly, and she sent a scowl at me.

“I have  _ nothing _ to say,” she repeated, locking eyes with me.

“I, for one, believe Mr. Abernathy will serve as an excellent advisor to the Senate,” said Beetee, sensing the tension and trying to diffuse it.

“Haymitch was the one who orchestrated the rebel plan. Without him, I don’t think the rebellion would have happened,” Finnick chimed in.

“I, for one, am rather fond of Mr. Abernathy,” said Odeon Avisdee. “He’s an excellent drinking partner and a clever conversationalist!”

“All in favour of this proposal?” Carolina asked the table, and most of them raised their hands, including myself and even Katniss. “All opposed?” Only Clarabella Dustin raised her hand, but lowered it when she realised no one else had agreed with her. Carolina smiled and turned to her father. “Looks like you’re our new advisor.” She took her seat while Haymitch remained standing, and then he addressed the Senate.

“Mornin’, all,” he said. “We still got a problem. Some districts got two representatives, some only got one, and one district ain’t got no representation whatsoever. We gotta fix that. We got two things to focus on: findin’ Dravius Pillock and Pascasia Mazarinne or findin’ people to fill their spots, in addition to all the other spots we need filled. Katniss, did you meet anyone in the districts when you was out there?”

“Karis Paylor in District Eight. She was the most memorable leader that I met,” she replied. “We briefly met a rebellion in District Nine led by a man named Tremor Ureon. He informed me of another rebellion in District Eleven led by Kyp Jecker and another in Ten led by Lystra Eshwater.”

“Lystra is an excellent choice for the rebellion, and the Senate,” Rufus Ripley from Ten said. “Her oldest daughter was reaped in the 76th Games. She was twelve.”

“Emma. I remember her,” Finnick said. “She seemed like a very sweet girl. My tributes that year had wanted to ally with her and the boy.”

“So we should ask Lystra Eshwater to represent District Ten in the Senate for certain. Cytherea, do you know anything about Kyp Jecker?” Prodigy asked the District Eleven victor.

“Only that we went to school together. We were both from the Fruit Sector,” Cytherea said, and then she looked at Katniss. “You befriended our young tribute during your Games, Rue Warren. She was from the Fruit Sector. Kyp Jecker is her maternal uncle.”

“Then he would probably be an excellent choice to represent District Eleven,” I said. I hadn’t realised that District Eleven wasn’t like Twelve where everyone lived in the same area, but District Eleven was so large and their population was much larger than ours, so it made sense. We’d learned during our Victory Tour that there were several sectors in District Eleven. The Fruit Sector was the largest, and then there was Vegetable Sector A and Vegetable Sector B. There was an Herb sector, too, and they also had a small Livestock Sector. While District Ten was primarily the livestock district, they only had cows, pigs and chickens for meat. They received shipments of cows and chickens that had outlived their service from District Eleven - in Eleven, their Livestock Sector was primarily eggs and milk. They sent some of their supplies to District Nine, where cheese and other dairy products were made and processed. Even though the districts were separated, they still worked together very closely, and the people never even realised it.

“Senator Verity, do you know anything about Karis Paylor?” Carolina asked Zosia.

“She went to school with my son. Beyond that, I don’t know much else about her,” Zosia replied, not continuing the conversation about her son. We hadn’t heard anything about her son ever being reaped, nor had we heard anything about her son living in Eight - surely, he would have been a target for Snow with Zosia having been on the run from him for so long - so my guess was that Zosia’s son had died a while ago.

“When I met her and worked with her during the uprising in Eight, she was an incredibly skilled leader. I believe she would be an excellent choice to represent District Eight in the Senate,” Katniss said.

“So Karis Paylor from Eight, Kyp Jecker from Nine, Lystra Eshwater from Ten and we know nothin’ ‘bout this Tremor Ureon in Nine,” Haymitch said, and he erased something that had already been written on the whiteboard to write down those names. “I hope that wasn’t important.”

“Not at all,” said Calum, his teeth clenching. Something told me that it was important.

“What about Six and Seven? Y’all know anyone?” Haymitch asked.

“Johnny Woodstock we met in the Pine Sector of District Seven. He was leading a rather large rebellion along with Marnie Barella of the Oak Sector,” Calum said, and Johanna snorted.

“That’s what good ol’ Marnie’s up to nowadays?” she said with amusement.

“Are you from the Oak Sector?” Calum asked her. “Would either of them be a bad choice?”

“I don’t know who the hell this Johnny Woodstock is, but Marnie Barella was a goody two-shoes. I’m shocked she’s leading an uprising,” Johanna replied snidely.

“She seemed very passionate about the cause,” said Calum.

“Perhaps we should have a word with both of them, invite them here, let the district vote on which of them they want to represent them,” Freya proposed. “Were there other leaders?”

“Carla Myles from the Redwood Sector, but I only heard about her. I never met her,” Calum replied. Like District Eleven, District Seven was divided into several sectors as well. The Redwood Sector was the farthest east and bordered the small part of the ocean that Seven had access to. The Pine Sector was closer to the top of District Seven, the Mahogany Sector was the farthest south and bordered the Capitol, as mahogany trees preferred to be warmer, and the Oak Sector was the largest of all, right at the center of the district. There were other smaller sectors of less popular woods as well, and Seven also provided the Capitol with Yule trees (the residents of Seven weren’t allowed to chop down any trees to use for Yule trees in their own homes). Residents of Seven were allowed to move between sectors, but residents of Eleven were not.

“District Six?” Haymitch asked, looking at Ellorah Harpernet.

“There was a rebel division there, very similar to District Two’s, but I never met any of them,” Ellorah replied.

“They were in contact with the Warrior Elite in Two,” said Lenerok Kifflin. “Their leaders were Andrew Coopers, Kalia Burke and Gladius Firk.”

“Katniss, did you ever meet any of them in the districts?” Freya asked Katniss.

“We never made it to Six,” Katniss replied.

“Then we’ll have to find them and invite them here, propose the Senate and if they agree, have their people vote which of them they want to represent them,” said Carolina. “Now, what do we do about Pascasia Mazarinne and Dravius Pillock?”

“You need Dravius to sway the people of Three. They were very fond of him. He did a lot to benefit the poor of our district,” said Beetee.

“And if we don’t have him?” asked Lenerok.

“Three will be a lot harder to sway,” said Beetee in response. “Three is not one of the Capitol’s favourites, but they treat us well. Three has been given no reason to want to rebel against the Capitol.”

“Except for two of their children being murdered every year,” Katniss replied. “There’s been no victor for Three since Wiress won.”

“That is correct,” Beetee replied. “They see it as a minor inconvenience.”

“So what do we do? Send in another mission in the districts to try to find them?” Katniss asked the Senate.

“I think we should wait. We should invite the leaders of the rebellions in each of those districts named and speak to them. Maybe they’ve heard something about the Victors,” I replied.

“Of course you’d say that,” Katniss said, not looking at me, and I let out a sigh and looked at her.

“Sending out another mission would be a waste of time. We haven’t the slightest idea where they are. Do you really want to waste more time? As far as we know, Snow isn’t cancelling next year’s Games, which means they’re only seven months away. Another mission would waste more time,” I told her sternly, facing her.

“You’re just mad you missed out on the last one,” Katniss replied, and that pissed me off.

“If you want to continue that conversation, then we can continue it after the meeting has concluded but I am  _ not _ doing that now,” I told her. “I say we get these other leaders and talk to them.”

“We still have to send out a mission to find them. Chances are, they’ve moved on,” Katniss replied to me firmly.

“At least they’ll be easier to find,” I said back. She was really pushing my buttons now.

“I’d like to head one, preferably into the districts I already have been to. Those leaders know me,” Katniss replied.

“I don’t think so. You’re still recovering from your injuries that you got on the last mission,” I told her, and she narrowed her eyes at me.

“If you couldn’t stop me last time, what makes you think you can stop me this time?” she asked me.

“I know your tricks, I’ll make sure you’re not allowed even in the hangar,” I told her.

“We’re not sending out a mission straight away, Snow knows we were in the districts. We can’t risk it this soon. We could jeopardise the rebellion,” Carolina said firmly, trying to diffuse the tension between us.

“Then it’s settled. Sometime after the new year, we’ll send out a mission to find and speak to the leaders of the rebellions in each district. No reason to continue this meeting,” Katniss said, standing up.

“We haven’t been dismissed yet,” I told her, and she glared at me.

“Nothing further needs to be discussed. As you’ve so graciously pointed out, I’m still injured and in fact, have popped a stitch in my side, so I need to have it fixed. Do I have your permission to leave or am I going to be stuck here while I bleed through my clothes?” she asked me. I glanced down at the shirt she was wearing and sure enough, there was blood seeping through her shirt.

“Katniss, what the hell!” I said, panicking at the sight, and I made to grab her arm and take her to the hospital myself, but she stepped out of my reach.

“I can take myself. I don’t need your help,” she said, heading for the door, and without another word, she left, leaving the rest of the Senate sitting quietly.

“I guess that’s meeting adjourned, then,” said Carolina, and a few senators stood and made for the door.

“The hell’s goin’ on between you and sweetheart?” Haymitch asked me when the room was mostly cleared.

“She’s mad at me for being mad at her for going on the mission without me,” I replied.

“Why the hell are ya still mad? It happened, she did it, ain’t gonna change what happened,” Haymitch told me.

“But she thinks she’s right! If I let this slide, she’s going to think that it’s okay for her to do this to me and it’s not! Haymitch, I reserve every right to want to be by my wife’s side to protect her!” I replied.

“But she don’t want your protection.”

“That doesn’t matter. She still excluded me from the mission when I was supposed to go. If she doesn’t want  _ my _ protection, then I don’t want  _ hers _ . Not if her idea of ‘protecting’ me is leaving me behind to sit here and twiddle my goddamn thumbs! It wasn’t right, Haymitch, and I don’t want her thinking that this is okay!”

“Well, she ain’t gonna apologise to you and you know it, so you gotta apologise to her. Y’all can’t function in the Senate if you’re at ends with each other.”

“Why am I  _ always _ the one that has to go to her and fix this? Why can’t she come to me for once? I always want to fix our disagreements. I  _ never _ want to fight with her, but she’ll stay away from me and treat me like this until eventually, it’s either forgotten about or I apologise to her and admit defeat. I’m not doing that anymore. She was wrong and she doesn’t want to admit it.”

“You shoulda told her about what happened in the Capitol, if not then, then at some point. It ain’t right to keep secrets from the ones you love.”

“So it was okay for her to keep me out of the mission because I kept a secret from her?”

“‘Course not, but ya still shoulda told her.”

“She didn’t need to know.”

“Boy, I know you love that girl more than anythin’, but-”

“What do you know about love?”

“More than ya think.” Haymitch paused for a moment. “The girl loves you, there ain’t no doubt about that now, but she’s stubborn and hardheaded. It ain’t like her to admit defeat first. She’ll only do it if you show your belly first. I think ya both were in the wrong, but you’re both stubborn people.”

“I’ll think about it. If she decides to be immature for long enough,  _ maybe _ I’ll talk to her, but not today. I can’t believe she embarrassed me like that in front of the whole Senate.”

“That was a little cold, I’ll give ya that... How’re ya feelin’ since the second injection?” I hadn’t told anyone that I had to have a second venom injection after four months of being fine, and Johanna and Annie needed one, too. I had to get it after our fight, as I realised that I was angrier than I should have been, and a blood test and urine analysis confirmed that the venom in my blood was increasing again. I asked Cailean not to tell Katniss because I didn’t want to hear her say, ‘I told you so’. I’d tell her on my own time, and this time, I wouldn’t put it off. Right now, she did not need anymore ammunition against me.

“Better now, more like my old self, if I’ll ever be that again,” I replied.

“After the Games, you ain’t ever the kid ya used to be, boy,” Haymitch replied, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I hope you and the girl work this out soon, not just for the Senate, but for your own sanity, too.”

“Thanks, Haymitch,” I said in response, and I headed to my brother’s room. I wanted to give Katniss a chance to go and see the girls, and I knew she wouldn’t if I was anywhere near them, so I hung out in Rye’s room and listened to him talk about Laurel McDermott’s tits, and go on and on about how much he wanted to marry her.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

A couple of days had passed and I was in the hospital having just had my stitches repaired again (Maevis ran to me and accidentally pulled one) when I nearly bumped into Johanna Mason on her way in, and she sneered at me. “Never got to thank you for saving my life, did I?” she asked me.

“You don’t have to. I was trying to save Peeta and in doing so, got to save you and Annie at the same time,” I told her coolly, trying to move past her.

“Hold up, Brainless,” she said. “I just had a lengthy conversation with bread boy and I’m not happy with what he told me.”

“Disappointed he didn’t call me a nasty bitch?” I asked her, knowing Peeta would never say that no matter how angry he was with me.

“Partly. Come with me,” said Johanna, urging me to follow her.

“You’re not going to scratch my throat out, are you?” I asked her, and she rolled her eyes and shut the door of her room behind her, leaning against the door and crossing her arms.

“Listen here, Brainless. It’s obvious I’ve always liked bread boy more than you, but that’s because he’s an incredibly  _ good _ person for absolutely no reason. You, on the other hand, remind me too much of myself, and bread boy doesn’t deserve someone like me.”

“Considering he’s my husband, I suppose I should say that’s a good thing?”

“He shouldn’t be your husband. You don’t deserve him.”

“A lot of people have said that.”

“Yeah, well, they’re right. You don’t. He’s too good for you, but for some stupid reason, he’s in love with you, and I got to know him a lot while we were in the Capitol together. We had adjacent cells. We became very familiar with each other’s screams.”

“What did you drag me in here for? To tell me that Peeta loves me and that I should stop being such a bitch?”

“No, to tell you that bread boy loves you more than you love him and that you need to open your damn eyes. You have no idea what he went through in the Capitol, what kind of torture he endured, and I hope you  _ never _ find out.”

“I’m not talking about this with you, of all people, who flashed your tits in his face right in front of me.” Johanna laughed, standing sturdy against the door and blocking my only exit.

“You really think it was fair to leave him behind like that? The things Snow did to him, told him,  _ showed _ him... He wants nothing more than to know you’re safe. The things he was shown were horrific. I saw some of it. I certainly can’t blame him for being terrified that something will happen to you if he can’t see you.”

“He’s being overprotective, I don’t need his protection.”

“But he  _ needs _ to protect you. You don’t get it, do you? The things Snow showed him were graphic, lots of images of you being ripped apart and murdered right in front him. It broke him. He’s afraid, Katniss. If Snow captures you and he can’t do anything to stop it, his worst nightmares might come true.”

“But I want to protect him, too! If  _ he _ gets captured by Snow again, then  _ my _ worst nightmares will come true!”

“And that’s more important to you?” I paused, realising that I really hadn’t given much thought to how my disappearing like that would really make Peeta feel and how it would affect him psychologically.

“He should have told me what happened to him in the Capitol,” I whispered quietly.

“Why? You couldn’t do anything to stop it. If you tried, Snow probably would have made you do it or rigged the reaping to reap your precious sister  _ and _ your kid. He might have even hurt Peeta. I refused to fuck any of those Capitol pigs and do you want to know what that got me? It got my family killed. My Victor house conveniently blew up when I was on my Victory Tour. My parents, my little brothers, all of them dead in an instant. And Snow just  _ sneered _ at me, that fucking cow.”

“Johanna, I... I had no idea...”

“Why would you? We’re not friends. But now you know. If Peeta refused or if you tried to stop him, Snow probably would have killed both of your families.”

“He practically did that anyway.”

“You have some survivors. I didn’t have any.” She let out a huff. “Look, I don’t want you in my room anymore so I’ll tell you this: you’re wrong. I get that you wanted to protect him and all that bullshit, but you were wrong. You shouldn’t have left him without a word. He was in a horrible state when you left without saying anything. You should have let him go with you. Don’t open your mouth and try to argue this. You were wrong, now get out of my room.” She stepped aside and opened the door, and with one final look at her, I left her.

I’d never thought about how Peeta would have been affected mentally. If he’d done that to me, I’d probably be distraught, wondering where he was, unable to sleep... and then for three months, he didn’t hear a single word from me, didn’t know if I was okay. I supposed I must have given him quite a fright, and maybe I should have at least told him he wasn’t going on the mission. But he still shouldn’t have gone on it. What if he needed another injection? What if he ran out of his medication? We didn’t know how long the mission was going to take and his health was more important to me than anything else. If the vaccine failed him and we had run out of his antiretrovirals, he would have been dead in two weeks, and he wouldn’t be my Peeta anymore - just Snow’s mutt version of him.

So no, I wasn’t wrong to leave him behind, and I’ll never change my mind. But is  _ that _ wrong?

* * *

**PEETA POV**

* * *

After two more days, I decided that enough was enough and I was going to talk to Katniss. She was in our room playing with the girls and Mom was there with them, too, while I was in Rye’s room helping him plan how to propose to Laurel. “Maybe I’ll take her down to that plant room or something,” he was saying to me.

“Sure,” I replied, not really listening.

“She’d really like that. You know, Peet, I never knew I’d fall in love,” Rye continued, and I didn’t respond. “Peet? Peet, are you listening?”

“Huh, what? Oh, sorry,” I said, looking away.

“Still miffed about Katniss, huh?” he asked me, sitting up on his bed.

“I miss her... I’m tired of arguing with her, but she was wrong and she won’t admit that!” I replied, and I let out a sigh. “I can’t take this anymore. I’ll go and talk to her.”

“Don’t let her tell you you’re wrong, little bro. She shouldn’t have left you, not after all the shit you went through,” Rye told me. He only saw a little bit of how I was with Katniss gone. A couple of times, he even came to stay with me in my room so I wasn’t alone, and every couple of hours, I woke him up from a violent nightmare and burst into tears. No amount of comfort from him, Mom or the girls could settle my mind. I just couldn’t function without her.

“I won’t,” I told him, and then I made my way to mine and Katniss’s room. Because it was my room, I had the ability to just walk in whenever I wanted, but out of respect, I knocked on the door before opening it. Katniss was on the couch with Maevis on her lap and Lark was on the floor playing with a stuffed teddy bear. Both she and Mom looked up at me and the neutral look - not pissed off - on Katniss’s face almost stopped me in my tracks. “Katniss, can we talk?” She glanced down at the girls for a moment before looking back up at me and nodding.

“I’ll take the girls to visit Rye,” said Mom, taking Maevis from Katniss and holding her on her hip. “Come on, Larky, let’s go and visit Uncle Rye.”

“Okay,” said Lark, grabbing the teddy bear and following Mom. “Hi, Daddy!” she said as she stopped in front of me, raising her arms up.

“Hi, honeybun,” I said to my little girl, kneeling down and giving her a quick hug. “Go and follow Gramma, okay?” I gave her forehead a kiss and watched as she ran out of the room after Mom, and then I closed the door behind them. When I turned around, Katniss was watching me cautiously and warily. “Hey,” I said to her.

“Hi,” she replied neutrally.

“About the whole... you know...” I stepped further into the room.

“What about it?” she asked me, a stern look in her eye. This wasn’t going to go well, not unless I told her what she wanted to hear, which I wasn’t going to, so I came out with it.

“I’m not apologising for being angry you left me behind,” I told her. “And if you want anything to change between us, you need to admit that you were wrong to do that. Katniss, I had no idea what had happened to you.”

“Seriously, Peeta? You’re seriously  _ still _ trying to have an argument?” she said to me.

“No, Katniss,  _ you _ are still trying to have an argument,” I spat back. “You were wrong and I cannot allow you to think that treating me like this is okay.”

“Treating you like this? Are you accusing me of abusing you now?” She stood up to face me.

“No, but you’re treating me like an invalid, which I’m  _ not _ . I don’t want you to protect me like this! You have no right to tell me that I can’t be by your side and know where you are!”

“I didn’t realise you’d be so damn clingy!”

“Katniss, I just came out of trauma in the Capitol, trauma that involved me being forced to watch a lot of imagery of you being hurt! And, not to mention, all the things I was told would be done to you if you were ever captured! Do you  _ seriously _ think that I would be perfectly okay with you running off without saying anything to me?”

“You were safer here. Snow couldn’t get you again if he didn’t know where you were!”

“And what would have happened if you’d been captured? What do you think would have happened to me? Or do you just not care?”

“Don’t you dare accuse me of not caring about your feelings!”

“Why? You don’t. You  _ never _ did. When Lark was born, you said you should have given her up. You didn’t care about how that would have made me feel if you had. Your only response as ‘at least I’d be able to live with myself’. What about me? She’s my daughter, too! In the Capitol during our first Games mentoring, you were upset over Snow holding Lark and you took that out on me, not caring how that would make me feel! You don’t care about my feelings, Katniss!”

“You’re being such an ass!”

“Am I now? Because I’m angry and hurt that you never care about my feelings on anything?” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Maybe Agnessa was right in saying that we were too young to get married.”

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe Agnessa was right in saying that we were too young to get married,” I repeated louder.

“What are you saying?”

“We hardly knew each other. We should have given ourselves more time to really get to know each other. Maybe then, I would have realised how little you care about my feelings.”

“We had to get married. Snow was forcing it anyway.”

“If he wasn’t, would you still have married me so soon?”

“I was pregnant. What choice did I have?” Oh. So now she’s saying she only married me because she was pregnant?

“Every choice in the world,” I muttered quietly, my heart cracking even more than it already had. “I never wanted you to think that you were forced to marry me...”

“I didn’t have the ability to  _ not _ feel that, did I?” Was she trying to break my heart?

“So if you weren’t pregnant and if we hadn’t slept together that night, would you still have fallen in love with me?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Because for the first time, I’m starting to think that I’ve been nothing but a naive fool for the last four years.”

“What are you saying?”

“You tell me.”

“I’m not a mind reader, Peeta. Are you implying that you don’t believe my feelings for you? That I don’t love you?”

“You just said you felt forced to marry me.”

“Peeta... Peeta, I never wanted to get married  _ period! _ I never even wanted to fall in love! Now you’re making ridiculous assumptions!” She met my eyes and must have seen the hurt in them, and her expression softened. “Peeta...”

“I don’t want to see you anymore,” I told her, fighting hard to stop the tears from falling from my eyes. I turned around and made my way towards the door.

“Peeta! Peeta, wait!” she said to me, but I was already out the door. So she didn’t love me, not really. The last four years had all been a lie. I mean, it started out as a lie, but then she insisted that it wasn’t. She insisted that what we had, what she felt for me, was real. But it wasn’t. Everything was a lie. Snow was right... She never loved me. Why would she lie to me for four years? Why would she sleep with me, tell me she loved me, caress me in a way that only a lover would? I didn’t seek comfort in anyone, only myself, hiding away in a place where I was certain I wouldn’t be found. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or see anyone, I just wanted to cry and cry until I had no more tears left.

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

* * *

Why was I always hurting him? Why was my best talent hurting the man I loved? Why was I so terrible at words that I couldn’t speak quickly enough to stop him from running away from me? I felt my heart breaking all over again. Is this what he felt when he didn’t know where I was? When I willingly left him to go somewhere dangerous. We were supposed to protect each other - it was what we did - so why did I protect him but didn’t let him protect me? The last couple of days, I had been contemplating Johanna’s words, and the more I mulled over them, the more I realised that she was right, I should have at least told him. It wasn’t right. Another day passed before I saw him again, and it was brief. He was going into Rye’s room with Rye and he looked so sad and heartbroken. He didn’t see me, but I wanted more than anything to hold him in my arms and kiss his sweet, soft, beautiful honey golden curls, but he had gone into the room before I could even move. Oh, my poor sweet Peeta...

I didn’t deserve him, and he certainly didn’t deserve anyone as horrible as me.

On the second day after our second big fight, after crying in Prim’s empty room for hours, I wiped my tears and got up, making my way to our room. I knew he would be there as it was his time with our daughters, so I stopped outside of the door and took a couple of deep breaths. Carefully, I opened the door and poked my head inside, seeing Peeta sitting on the couch by himself. The girls were nowhere to be seen, which meant that Peeta must have put them down for bed already - it was nearly eleven at night. He heard the door open and he looked up at me, his blue eyes looking so sad, and I almost burst into tears at the sight.

“They’re sleeping. I’ll leave you to them,” he muttered, moving to stand.

“No, Peeta,” I said, stopping him. With his hands on either side of him on the couch, he looked up at me again, silence passing between us for what felt like an eternity. “Peeta, I... I’m sorry,” I said quietly, and then I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I was wrong... We promised each other that we would protect each other and I... I didn’t let you... and then I yelled at you and just about proved that I’m a horrible person that you don’t deserve...”

“Don’t say that,” he said back to me, and then he stood and took a few steps towards me. I couldn’t speak as I felt the tears stinging my eyes and I raised my hand to cover the lower half of my face as I looked away, closing my eyes to fight off the tears.

“Peeta... Peeta, I do truly love you,” I told him, and then I looked at him again, unable to stop my eyes from glistening. “I’d do anything to keep you safe and I’d die for you if I had to... I was prepared to do that in the arena. Do I sometimes think that we got married a little soon? Maybe, but... but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be your wife.” I paused again as I thought of how best to word the next thing I wanted to say. “We would have had to get married anyway... because of Snow and if we didn’t, then no, I don’t believe that I would have married you so soon after finally having the chance to know you... but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to marry you eventually. I do not regret any of the last four and a half years that we have been together.” He didn’t answer me. Instead, he looked down at his feet, tears stinging his eyes. I was unsure if I was allowed to touch him, but then he looked up at me again and gave me a soft smile, opening his arms to me. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly against my chest, and as soon as I had buried my face in his shoulder, I started sobbing. The dampness of my own shoulder told me that he, too, was crying, and I buried one of my hands in his hair and stroked it gently.

“I’m so sorry... I just... I love you so much and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you...” he whispered to me. “I’d die if I lost you. I just want to keep you safe and the only way I know how is being right there by your side willing to jump in front of a bullet if I have to...”

“You have nothing to apologise for, my love. I’m so sorry you went through all those horrible things in the Capitol. I can’t imagine what horrible things were done to you, not only by those horrible buyers but by Snow when you were being tortured. I wish I was there to keep you safe from that... I wish I would have been able to keep you safe,” I told him.

“I could never allow you to experience that. I could never allow those... those...”

“Shhh.... I know, my love. I know... I promise that I will never stop you from being by my side if you promise me that you will never keep another secret like that from me ever again.” He was quiet for a moment.

“I had to have another injection... the venom vaccine. Annie and Johanna needed one, too. I started... feeling  _ him _ again, and... and the tests said it had started to wear off... You were right, I could have been a danger to you and the mission...”

“Shh, enough of that,” I told him. “What matters now is we’re together, and we will never, ever keep secrets like this again from each other. Promise?”

“I promise... I love you, Katniss, more than anything in the world.”

“I love you, too, Peeta. You’re the one thing in this world that keeps me living and you are  _ everything _ to me.” I pulled away from him to look into his handsome face and I raised one of my hands to rest on his cheek. He smiled at me, and we met in the middle by pressing our lips together, instantly opening our mouths to the other. Kissing him just felt  _ so _ right, and I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost him. But for now, in this moment, he was here with me, and we were kissing, and I was so happy. I felt the urge to hold him again, so I broke the kiss and hugged him tightly. “I didn’t realise how much I needed you, and it scares me to think that I can no longer live without you. I couldn’t even... release... without you.”

“Release? What do you mean?” he asked me, his lips buried in my neck. My face turned a little pink. He’d only ever caught me touching myself once and I had already hidden it. He knew I did it sometimes, but we never talked about it. Would this classify as a secret? What did it matter talking to him about it? He was my husband, a part of me, and he’d already seen everything. He even saw me push a baby out of me twice. If he laughed at me, it would purely be at my embarrassment at telling him such a thing.

“Well, I... Er... I...  _ touched _ ... myself... and I couldn’t...” I stuttered as I told him, but he saved me like he always did by seemingly reading my mind.

“Couldn’t come?” I nodded, not saying a word. “But you’ve masturbated before and you’ve come, right?”

“I’ve what?” Now I was confused. I pulled out of the embrace and looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

“Masturbated. Touched yourself,” he said, and my cheeks turned bright pink.

“It has a name?” He nodded. I buried my face in his shoulder again, and he chuckled. “I can’t say that... but yes. I have, but I couldn’t this time, and I did so much  _ more _ ! I don’t understand!”

“What all did you do?” I was positively  _ mortified _ now. Why did he want to know?

“Usually, I just... rub myself... but this time, I... I went... I put... I put my fingers  _ inside  _ of me, and I... I was... rubbing my... my nipples... and it didn’t work. I couldn’t... I couldn’t come.”

“Interesting. Do you think you could now? Maybe you were stressed out because we were upset with each other.”

“I don’t know! I don’t...  _ masturbate _ often.” I felt dirty even  _ saying _ the damn word.

“Maybe you should try.”

“Some other time. I don’t need to anymore now that we’re back together.”

“I still masturbate from time to time. In the mornings, if we don’t have time, how do you think I solve my morning wood problem? I’ll do it in the shower.” I didn’t answer him. God, this was such an embarrassing conversation. “I think it’d be kinda hot to do it in front of each other...” Excuse me?

“What? That... That sounds...  _ terrifying _ !”

“Why? We touch each other, why’s it weird if we touch ourselves, hm?”

“Not today... Right now, I just want you to make love to me, Peeta. I’ve missed you so much.” He pulled back from our embrace again to kiss me, then shifted his lips to my ear.

“Your wish is my command,” he whispered to me in a seductive tone, and I could feel the fire in my core brought on purely by the sound of his voice. He picked me up and carried me into our bedroom, kicking the door closed. The last time we had been in this room, we were yelling at each other and arguing, but this time, he laid me on the bed and passionately kissed me. He was soft and gentle, even though we were desperately hungry for one another, and I let out a whimper when I felt his lips on my neck. His fingers started working at my shirt when he felt mine on the skin of his lower back as I pulled on his shirt, and before I knew it, my shirt was sliding off of my shoulders and he was pulling his off over his head.

“Peeta,” I moaned as his lips brushed my collar bone, his fingers working to unclasp my bra. When it was free, I could feel his warm breath on my breast.

“Touch yourself while I kiss you here,” he told me.

“Peeta, I thought we said-”

“You’ve done it before, I just didn’t see you do it,” he told me, and I suppose he was right. If I ever needed an edge to an orgasm and he was otherwise occupied, I would reach down and rub my clitoris.

“A-all right,” I said, somewhat nervously, and when his lips wrapped around my nipple, my hand slid down underneath the waistband of my pants and halted first in the hairs at my crotch, and when Peeta nibbled just a little on my nipple, I felt the ache in my core, and my fingers started to rub little circles, satisfying my ache. “Oh, God, Peeta,” I said, burying my free hand in his hair. “Peeta... Peeta, I need you so much...” His lips left my breast and covered mine. His hands moved down to unbutton my pants and pull them down, sliding them off of my legs, and then he undid his own. We were now sitting in nothing but our underpants and our eyes met.

“I love you,” he whispered to me.

“I love you, too,” I said, sitting up a bit to hook my thumbs in his boxers, pulling them down to reveal his already pulsing erection. “I’ve missed this.”

“It’s all yours,” he whispered to me as I wrapped my hand around it, and he let out a hiss, his hand covering mine. “Not... not now... not unless you want this to end early...” I removed my hand and he kissed me again, sliding my underpants down and revealing my already soaking wet core to him. Once we were free of any cloth layers between us, he met my eyes, as if asking if I was ready, and I nodded. He took himself in his hand and as he lined himself up at my entrance, he brushed the head of his penis on my clitoris, causing me to moan and grip the sheets. He chuckled lightly, then started to push himself into me.

“Oh,” I cried out as he slowly pushed in, giving me time to adjust. “Oh, god, Peeta...”

“If you want me to stop-”

“ _ Never _ .” He chuckled again as he gave me a moment to adjust, and then he started to pump himself in and out of me. Oh, it felt so good, my darling, beloved Peeta inside me again. I had missed him so much. I had tried three times to feel my release in the time that we were separated, but I failed all three times, so neither of us were likely going to last very long. I started to feel my buildup, finally, which only increased as his fingers found their way to my clitoris.

“Come with me, honey,” Peeta whispered lovingly to me, and together, upon feeling our release, saw stars and I cried out his name over and over again while he moaned and muttered my name when he came down. It didn’t last long, but it was the best feeling in the world.

“Peeta,” I whispered as I held him against my chest, his back glistening with sweat. “My perfect Peeta...” I kissed his temple, damp with sweat, and he turned his head so he could look at me. He was so beautiful always, but especially when he had just come down from an orgasm. Watching him have an orgasm was beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful. “I can’t believe I almost lost this...”

“You’d never lose me,” he whispered back to me. “I love you so much...” I happened to glance over at the clock on the table beside me - Peeta must have gotten it replaced, and it then dawned on me what day it was.

“Peeta... it’s New Years’ Eve,” I told him. “It’s almost midnight...”

“Perfect timing,” he whispered. “A new year, a chance for us to start over.” He picked up his head and looked at me, one of his hands brushing a piece of hair out of my face. “You and me... we’re stronger together. We’re incomplete without the other. If one of us is taken away, the other is weak... but we’re strong when we’re together. No more being separated... Not as long as the rebellion is happening.”

“I never want to let go of you again, Peeta,” I told him, lifting my head to kiss him. “Stronger together... That’s what we’ll always be.” He took my hand and raised it to his lips to kiss it, and then he glanced at the clock again.

“Happy New Year, Katniss,” he said looking into my eyes.

“Happy New Year, Peeta,” I told him, and I kissed him again. For us, the night wasn’t over. I stroked his hair aa I held him, basking in the feeling of his warm skin against mine. I loved him so damn much that it hurt sometimes, but I’d never trade his love for anything in the world. Five years ago, I was so different - so naive and thought I knew everything - but in truth, I knew nothing. Never fall in love? I loved Peeta more than anything in the world. Never get married? I couldn’t imagine myself as anyone other than Katniss Mellark. Never having children? I loved my daughters so much andI can’t imagine my life without them. And Peeta was the one who made me want all of these things. I tightened my hold on him and kissed the crown of his head,then rested my chin against it, my eyes closed as I relaxed into contentment in the love of my life’s arms. “Shelter me,” I whispered to him, an unspoken promise to always let him protect me and keep me safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that our young lovers have finally reunited, what’s next in store for them? How will the Senate go about filling it’s positions and what will they do next in regards to the rebellion?
> 
> Please review!


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